by Quinn Ward
“You thought about how to make tonight as stress free as possible, and you’re still worried that I’d be upset you left the house with her?” Hell, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d brought any activities when we left the house. Usually, I had to surrender my phone in order to keep the peace. “For future reference, as long as you shoot me a text so I know what you’re doing, you can take Sophia wherever you want.”
“Cool. Thanks.” Peter’s shoulders sagged, and he let out a slow breath. Even though I didn’t understand his worry, it warmed something inside of me to know he respected me enough to be concerned. “I know I’m just the guy you’ve been screwing around with—”
“Stop.” The order was barked out with enough force to make Sophia jump. I placed a hand on her forearm, rubbing softly. “I’m sorry, Tinkerbell.”
I was so proud of myself for remembering to call her by the nickname she’d demanded for months I didn’t notice her scowl. “I don’t like that name anymore.”
“You don’t?” I pinched the bridge of my nose, wondering when this parenting thing would get easier and if she was so contrary because she was a little girl or if this was a five-year-old thing.
“Peter calls me Soph, because I’m a big girl now,” she announced. Peter stifled a laugh.
I placed my arm on the back of his chair and leaned in close enough so only he could hear me. “Just so you know, that means you’re her favorite person.”
“How so?” His brow furrowed slightly, and I had to resist the urge to smooth out the lines.
“Because your nickname has become her obsession,” I explained, as if that made sense to any adult. Hearing her abandon the name her uncles had bestowed upon her in favor of Peter’s pet name made me realize how he was wheedling his way into both of our hearts.
Before I did anything stupid like confess my feelings to him, Tony appeared at the table. “Hey guys! Peter, you have got to tell me how you managed to get him out of the kitchen. We’ve been trying to convince him to take it easier for months and he refuses.”
“That wasn’t me, it was all Mama,” Peter admitted. But it wasn’t. Sure, she might’ve demanded that I come out here and spend time with them, but if it’d been anyone else, I’d have said hi and gone back to work. Peter and Sophia created a picture of what I wished my life could’ve been like. What it could be like if Peter wasn’t leaving town once he decided Maria was emotionally healthy.
“I’m not so sure about that,” Tony argued as he set a cup of chocolate milk in front of Sophia. I tensed, starting to wonder how I’d get the inevitable stains out of Sophia’s white party dress. “Freddie’s been less of an—”
“Watch it,” I warned him, cocking my head towards Sophia.
“You know what I mean.” Tony crouched next to Sophia and asked what she’d like to eat. Unsurprisingly, she requested chicken strips and spaghetti, but Tony got cool uncle points for asking even though she ordered the same thing every time she was here. Peter asked what I recommended, then ordered the gnocchi pesto con pollo. It was one of the few dishes I’d added to the menu; the majority of the menu had remained unchanged since Nonno Marino first opened the doors.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Peter asked when I waved Tony off without placing an order.
“Nah, I usually snack throughout the night. I’ll make something light when I get home.” After glancing around to make sure we didn’t have an audience, I scooted my chair close enough I could rest my hand on Peter’s knee under the table. “Besides, I might steal a bite of your dinner if that’s okay with you.”
“Um, I suppose.” He seemed confused by the shift in my mood. When I tried to remove my hand, he placed his over it, lacing his fingers through mine. “If you’re not careful, people are going to assume we’re a couple.”
“Would that be such a bad thing?” Yes, it absolutely would, because Peter was a temporary arrangement.
“I can think of worse things,” he admitted. My eyes widened, and a tingle jolted through my entire body when the point of a heel dragged along my calf.
“Holy hell, Peter.” I leaned over and he bent his knee back to show me his boot. My mind filled with ideas of everything I’d love to do to him while he wore those heeled boots and little else. “Did you dress up just for me tonight?”
“Nope, I promised Soph we’d get dressed up tonight, and I wanted to be comfortable.” I slid my hand higher on his leg, wishing we were home and had some privacy. Peter leaned in, placing a hand on my shoulder. “And when you get home tonight, I’ll show you the rest of my outfit.”
He was trying to kill me. That was all there was to it. I was going to explode while trying to get through the rest of my night. But you could be damn sure I’d hurry, not wanting to waste a minute I could be with him.
Tony looked nervous when he brought out their meals. He lingered near the table, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, which was very unlike him.
“Need something?” I asked, wishing he’d buzz off so I could enjoy this time with my little family.
No, not your family. You can’t start thinking that way.
“Ummm, so Mama told me to keep my mouth shut, but she’s struggling back there,” he informed me. I shouldn’t have been surprised; Mama tended to forget that running a professional kitchen wasn’t the same as cooking for a bunch of teenage boys. In Mama’s world, both involved copious amounts of food, but with the latter, it was a single meal made in a huge batch.
“I’m glad you said something,” I reassured Tony. Before standing, I drained the rest of my water as well as Sophia’s. “Let me just finish up here and I’ll be right back.”
“Daddy, you’re not staying with us?” Sophia’s bottom lip stuck out, and I prayed she didn’t tear up.
“Hey, I thought tonight was our date night,” Peter protested dramatically. I let out a sigh, grateful for his quick thinking. “You and your daddy can have date night another night, but I think he needs to get back to work.”
She seemed to consider this for a moment before pointing towards the kitchen. “Daddy, you go now. This is my time with Peter.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I saluted her and stood, rounding the table for a kiss. “Would it be okay if I give you a ride home when you’re done with your Peter time?”
“We can get a car home, it wasn’t that expensive.”
“I know, but we should stop getting tables soon, and I think I need to start reordering my priorities,” I admitted. “Maybe we can watch a movie before bedtime.”
“Okay, yeah.” Peter reached out to me as I walked behind him. I stopped, wishing we were out so I could lean down and kiss him for being so considerate. Once we were home and the munchkin fell asleep, I’d be sure to show him my appreciation.
The kitchen was in pure chaos. One of the line cooks was muttering in Spanish about overbearing women who thought they knew everything. I should’ve lectured him because he was being disrespectful, but hearing Mama barking out orders, I figured his tirade was warranted. I hurried to grab a clean apron and started checking tickets as I tied the strings behind my waist.
“Freddie, I told you to let me handle the kitchen,” Mama scolded me as I surveyed the tickets and called out what we were missing. “You all treat me like I’m frail and incapable. You should remember that I managed to keep all five of you boys alive to see adulthood.”
I kissed her cheek and tentatively guided her out of the way. “And we love you for it, Mama. Thank you for letting me spend time with them, but this is my kitchen, and it’s my job to make sure everything runs smoothly.”
Luis reached around me to place two plates of toasted ravioli in the window, which were immediately taken by a frazzled server. “I still have a table waiting on an order of stuffed Portobello and a calamari.”
“They’re coming, Rachel,” Luis called out, grumbling about how it’d be easier to get the food out if he knew we needed it.
“Mama, can you go out to the main dining room and check on our
guests,” I suggested. If the kitchen was in the weeds, we’d likely need her personality to smooth over any upset customers. “Let everyone know we’re working to get the food out as quickly as we can. Do your Italian Mama thing.”
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” she warned me, tossing a rag onto the prep table. “But I’ll do it, because I know you won’t accept my help back here.”
“Mama, it’s not that,” I assured her. “We have a routine back here and the guys are already thrown off because Carlos is out tonight. It’s not you. Really. Once you make sure no one’s ready to walk out, I could use you at the expediting window.”
When Mama came back to the kitchen after a round through the dining room, she seemed much more relaxed and grabbed tickets to start putting together the orders entrées. It only took a few minutes before we had all the outstanding orders on their way out to the tables.
“Freddie, we have everything handled in here again and there are no new tables coming out.” Mama walked around the line and picked up a wet rag. “You go out there and spend time with your family. If I need help again, I’ll ask Frankie to come and help me.”
At least this time Mama wasn’t trying to make it seem like she could do everything on her own. I once again took off my apron and threw it into the dirty laundry hamper. I went to Mama and gave her a quick hug, thanking her for giving me the rest of the night off. Maybe Peter was right and we needed to find a way to keep Mama involved in the restaurant.
I’d been annoyed about missing dinner with Peter and Sophia, but I couldn’t stay mad when I entered the dining room and found Sophia curled up on Peter’s lap, watching a movie while Peter stroked her hair. Both of them looked minutes away from falling asleep.
“Hey you two,” I whispered. I’d gotten hung up long enough the back dining room was deserted; Tony had even finished resetting the room for lunch. “How about if we head home?”
Peter met my gaze and smiled. When he reached out to me, I didn’t hesitate to take his hand. “You’re pretty good at this parenting thing.”
Once the words were out, they couldn’t be taken back. I’d been very careful about putting any sort of label to what was going on between Peter and me, but seeing him gently rocking Sophia to sleep after their date night made me want something I’d avoided going for; a life with him in it.
“It’s not so bad,” Peter quipped. He didn’t seem upset by my slip, so I decided it’d be for the best to let it go. “I basically think about what I’d like and that’s what I do for her.”
“You’re not a child,” I pointed out.
“Nope, but I’ve been told enough times that I act like one.” Sophia burrowed closer to his chest when he tried handing her off to me. I watched as he stood, more graceful in heels than I could’ve been barefoot, and draped his lightweight jacket over her back. “If I ever settle down and have kids, I hope they’d wind up as easy to deal with as Sophia.”
“Are we talking about the same child?” I asked, remembering back to this morning when she’d melted down because I wouldn’t let her bake muffins with Peter before her playdate.
“Man, she’s just a kid. Everything’s bigger when you’re small.” I wasn’t sure if that was sage wisdom he’d come up with on his own or a load of bullshit he’d pulled out of a fortune cookie.
As we said goodbye to my brothers and the rest of the staff, I tried not to think about Peter’s comment about if he ever settled down. Even before they came in for dinner tonight, I was hoping there might be a chance for something more with him; I wanted him to see he had a life and people who loved him here so he didn’t rush back to New York.
I watched as Peter opened the back door, bent down, and gracefully settled a sleepy Sophia into her car seat. She complained when he tried moving her to buckle her in, but he calmed her quickly by telling her it was time to go home and promising we’d watch whatever movie she wanted once we got there.
“Do we have popcorn and snacks for the movie?” Peter asked as I pulled into the lane of traffic.
“You do realize we're not actually getting through more than fifteen minutes of the movie before she passes out, right?” Once Sophia was asleep and we managed to put her into her bed, I had every intention of dragging Peter up to what I’d come to think of as our bedroom to see what he had on with those heeled boots.
Sometimes, I worried what it meant that I was so turned on by Peter wearing women’s lingerie. I didn’t want him thinking the only reason I was attracted to him was because he had an affinity for sexy underthings, but there was no denying it was the quickest way for my mind to turn to sex.
“I know, but I wasn’t sure if you were hoping to keep up the pretense that we were going to have a night where both of us managed to keep our clothes on,” Peter quipped.
There was something in his tone that gave me pause, and I began to worry that I was the one trying to make sure what was happening between us stayed sexual. It should have been easier for me to explore my sexuality with somebody that I’d known most of my life, but there were times I placed Peter into two distinct boxes: the one where he was my childhood best friend, and the other where he was the first man I trusted myself enough to give my body to.
“Can I ask you a question?” I tapped at the steering wheel, concerned I was about to ruin everything, but I needed to know the answer.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Does it bother you that most nights I’m so tired by the time I get home that all I want to do is go to sleep?”
“Oh honey, if going to sleep was what you wanted to do when you got home that might be an issue,” Peter teased, reaching over to place a hand on my knee. “If what you’re really asking is if I have an issue with the fact that most of the time you get home and want to get me in bed as quick as possible, then I’m not sure how that’s a problem.”
“But does it upset you that you spend most of your time picking up after Sophia and me, and when I’m home the quality time we spend together is usually in the bedroom?” Now that I’d said it out loud it seemed silly, but I didn’t know what type of relationships Peter was used to back in New York.
“Freddie, how many times do I have to tell you to quit over-thinking things?” He slid his hand up my thigh until his fingers grazed the edge of my dick. “The time I get to spend with you has made everything a little easier. Yes, it sucked that the reason I came home is that my mama died, and I hate knowing that Maria’s been hurting because she didn’t have anyone she could relate to in that house, but knowing you’ll be coming home at the end of every day takes a bit of the sting out of why I am here.”
“But do you wish that there was more between us?” I slowed to a stop at the red light and placed my hand over Peter’s on my leg. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m not as certain as I was when we started this that I’m cut out for casual sex. I know what we’re doing doesn’t necessarily constitute casual, but if it was up to you, would you want a real relationship with me?”
“If our lives were different, if I hadn’t worked so damn hard to establish my career New York, then you’re exactly the type of person I’d want to have a relationship with. But I learned long ago that it does nobody any good to wish for something you can’t have.” The sadness in Peter’s tone was like a knife to my heart. I wanted to point out all the ways he could still have his career without having to give us up, but it wasn’t my place. He was a smart man, he had to understand it was possible for him to commute as needed. It wasn’t as if his assignments were on the opposite side of the country, they were just a quick train ride away.
I let the conversation falter, not interested in digging this hole any deeper than I already had. With any luck, Peter would chalk tonight up to my propensity to over-think everything and he’d still reveal the surprise he’d been teasing at every time he got the chance tonight.
Sophia was sound asleep by the time I pulled into the driveway. Peter got her out of her seat while I jogged ahead to unlock the fro
nt door. I heard her mumbling as he carried her up the stairs to her bedroom about how we were supposed to watch a movie tonight but didn’t hear his response. A few minutes later, Peter came down the stairs still wearing those sexy heels.
“To answer your question,” Peter said as he crossed the living room and held out a hand to guide me off the couch. “No, I don’t have any issues with how much time we spend in the bedroom. Being with you is like a fantasy come true, and I’d rather not waste a single minute of the time that we do have together.”
That did make me feel better, but I still wanted to find ways to show Peter how much I appreciated everything he had done for Sophia and me since he got here. There’d be time for me to figure that out tomorrow; tonight, I had a sexy present to unwrap.
10
Peter
I wasn’t sure what had gotten into Freddie. There’d been a distinct change in his mood from the time he sat down with us at dinner until we left the restaurant. I wanted more than anything to be the man Freddie wanted me to be, but I still had it stuck firmly in my head if I left the city my clients would forget about me and I’d be starting over. Coming home for him when I refused to come home for my own family felt like a slap to their faces, and as much as I didn’t like the way my father or sisters acted, I didn’t want them thinking I’d been unwilling to take over the bakery out of spite. There was nothing I’d ever be able to do that would show them I hadn’t wanted to take on that role because I knew it would kill me inside.
“Why don’t you go get ready for bed,” I suggested to Freddie, stopping in front of the door to my bedroom. “I need to get a few things and I’ll be right in.
There was one piece of the outfit I’d been reluctant to put on and definitely wouldn’t have worn for date night with Sophia. Even now, I was hesitant because I’d had experiences in the past where similar articles of clothing had been misunderstood by partners, and I wasn’t sure how I’d react if Freddie was upset.