I faded away from them, disinterested in anything they might have to say. Instead, I thought about having Eli all over me while Jodi watched. I half wished she’d dumped her Diet Coke over my head while we sat in the bleachers. It seemed torturous to postpone the fight. Maybe that was her intent.
When we reached Eli’s car, I gaped at Connor as he went for shotgun. What kind of moocher bummed a ride, then assumed the front seat over the girlfriend?
“Skylar,” Connor said as I yanked at the backdoor handle. He held open the passenger door. “I was getting this for you.”
“Oh.” I tried to smile, but failed. “Thanks.”
He offered his hand, helping me climb into the vehicle. “I’d never hitch a ride and take the front seat. Especially from a girl.”
“Some guys would,” I said, buckling my seat belt.
“True,” Connor said. “And you never can tell.”
Didn’t I know it.
“You’re not trying to steal my girl, are you?” Eli called to the backseat. While he sounded flippant, I caught the flash of jealousy in his eyes. An endearing quality when I needed rescuing, but annoying when it spilled into Connor’s and my casual moment of friendliness. As if I would ever be interested in a guy like Connor.
Sheridan’s Frozen Custard sat close to the busy road, its lights bright and beckoning amid the row of dark storefronts. This late at night and this deep in the summer, teenagers dominated the parking lot and spilled onto the grass, drunk on sugar and twilight.
By the time we arrived, Alexis already sat in the bed of John’s F-150, gorging on a large cup of custard.
“Yay, Skylar’s here,” Alexis said as we approached.
Eli leaned against the truck. “What about me?”
She shrugged and smiled flirtatiously. Alexis did everything flirtatiously.
Connor stuck out his hand. “I’m Connor.”
Alexis looked at it for a moment, appearing as stunned as I’d been, then offered hers in return. “Alexis.”
“Nice to meet you,” he said.
Eli’s fingertips fell soft on my neck. “What do you want, Skylar?”
“I need to look at the menu.” I adjusted my ponytail, forcing him to move his hand.
He didn’t seem to notice, just smiled and smoothed my hair. “Connor, you want anything?”
“Nah, I’m good,” he said, positioning himself beside Alexis. As we walked away, I heard her draw him into conversation. While Connor likely interpreted this as friendly, all of us knew Alexis was a huge gossip. She wanted first dibs on whatever dirt Connor had to offer.
“What’s with that guy?” I asked Eli, tone sharper than intended.
“Connor? He comes on a little strong, but don’t worry. He’s real nice.” Eli combed through the ends of my ponytail, fingers catching on a knot. “You wouldn’t know it from looking at him, but he’s a power hitter.”
“Well, I don’t like him.” My stomach itched and my mouth tasted bitter again. Why did we have to invite someone new out with our group, tonight of all nights? I wasn’t ready for new guys just yet. “He’s just . . . I don’t know. He makes me uncomfortable.”
“You have no reason to be worried,” Eli said, then planted an awkward kiss on my cheek.
Okay, ew. Did everything with us have to be so serious relationship-y? Why must even the simple act of walking from the parking lot to the ice cream line convey our couple status to the world? Especially with Jodi here.
When we joined Jodi in line, I thought Eli hanging all over me would prompt her death glare, but instead, she looked at us with desperation. “These two are driving me crazy.” She nodded at John and Lisa, who stood in front of her absorbed in some gushy conversation. It involved a lot of nuzzling and, “No, you are.”
“Next,” the Sheridan’s employee called from the window. This meant John and Lisa, but they didn’t notice. “Next!”
Jodi flicked the back of Lisa’s head. “That’s you.”
“Oh!” Lisa said with a giggle.
Jodi rolled her eyes, but a moment later, her mouth drooped. “I want a boyfriend.”
I suppose Connor happened to be at the right place at the right time. Why else would Jodi attach herself to him the moment we returned to the truck? His height, freckles, and constant grin reminded me of a pesky little brother. On nights Jodi behaved like herself, she liked her guys tall, blond, and worthy of a contract with Abercrombie and Fitch, like Eli. Obviously, desperation caused this.
“He’s adorable,” she confided to me in our moment of privacy en route to the trash can. “Did you see him reading my palm? He says I’m going to have a long and happy life.”
She sounded like she wanted to have a long and happy life with Connor.
“We just met him, Jo,” I said. “You should be careful.”
“Connor’s harmless,” she said, and I must admit it appeared she was right. He wasn’t like Aaron, so smooth and charming. Connor was the opposite, all chatter and awkward angles.
“You can do way better,” I said as we sidestepped a couple of cackling girls.
“I guess I could.” She pitched her cup toward the trash can. It hit the rim but bounced in anyway. “So. You and Eli are cute together.”
My mouth went dry, and I double-checked to make sure she wasn’t holding scissors or a soda or anything. “If it bothers you, I’ll end things with him.”
She waved this idea away. “Completely unnecessary.”
“But I always told you I wouldn’t date him.”
“I know, but I expected it would happen someday.”
This made me feel even worse. “Eli and I are no big deal,” I said.
Jodi fixed her eyes on Connor as we started back to the truck. “You really don’t think I should like Connor?”
I looped my arm through hers, overcome with guilt. “Like whoever you want.”
2
“Abbie?” Mom called when I returned home that evening.
“No, it’s me.” I walked through the entry, making myself visible.
Mom sat posed on the white couch. Even with her loose ponytail and makeup-free skin, she appeared to be in the midst of a photo shoot. “The Modern Homemaker,” the description might read.
“Abbie isn’t home yet?” I asked.
“Take off your shoes, Skylar.” She turned the page of her catalog—Williams-Sonoma, though it had been months since she cooked anything more complicated than frozen lasagna.
I slipped out of my sandals. “Abbie isn’t home?”
“It’s just a few minutes after.”
I glanced at the clock. “It’s thirty-four minutes after.”
Mom offered no reply. She held up the page to me and tapped the picture of Le Creuset pans. “Do you think the blue ones would match our kitchen?”
“Do pans need to match the decor?”
“If we hang them from a rack over the island they do.” I looked through the kitchen to the French doors of Dad’s office. His desk light burned even at this late hour. When I turned back to Mom, I found her awaiting my answer about the pans. “It’s hard to tell from a catalog.”
“Hmm,” Mom said. “Maybe tomorrow I’ll go to the store.”
My cell phone hollered from my bag. I suspected it was Eli, who’d taken to obsessive calling now that we were official. Instead, Abbie’s cell number flashed on the screen. My stomach churned because Abbie only called me for one reason.
“It’s Jodi,” I said, excusing myself. I answered the call but said nothing else until I reached my bedroom. Despite both the stairs and my closed door, I whispered, “Tell me this isn’t what I think it is.”
“Can you come get me?” Abbie asked.
I sighed. “No chance you’re at Jenna’s?”
“Would I call you if I was?”
I hung up without answering.
Downstairs, I snatched my bag from the floor. “I need to pick up Jodi. She was on a date with this guy, and they had a fight. He left her at the movie theater
.”
Mom wagged her head. “This is why high school is way too young to start dating. You’re not emotionally prepared to handle situations like this.”
Mom was loose when it came to curfews and how we dressed, but she never budged about boys. We could have guy friends and hang out in large groups, but we weren’t allowed to date until college.
“Would you mind stopping by Jenna’s?” she asked as I tugged on my shoes. “Abbie’s over there, and I’m sure she’s lost track of time again.”
“Sure. I’ll be back soon.”
Mom responded with the turning of a page.
When I pulled up to Lance’s house—a common occurrence these last six months—Abbie waited on his porch rather than at his window. In exchange for my picking her up, Abbie cleaned our bathroom and paid for my gas. Before last night, this seemed like a great trade, but now my conscience nagged at me. What kind of older sister was I?
Abbie eased into the front seat. “Thanks, Skylar.”
I didn’t answer, just pulled away from the curb. From the corner of my eye, I watched her attempts to finger-comb her long, tousled hair. “There’s a brush in my bag,” I said.
“Great, thanks.”
This wasn’t how our parents raised us. They brought us up in the church and beat into us that sex was for marriage only, long before we even knew what that meant. I couldn’t be sure about the progression of Abbie and Lance’s relationship, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think they were just playing Scrabble in his bedroom.
I cleared my throat. “This is the last time I’ll be able to pick you up.”
Abbie stopped brushing midstroke and looked at me, her cinnamon eyes big and beautiful. “Why?”
“I just can’t do this anymore,” I said, finding my hands suddenly slippery on the steering wheel. These weren’t the kinds of conversations Abbie and I had. “It’s not right, what you and Lance are doing, and you know that. As your big sister, I can’t encourage this kind of behavior.”
Abbie erupted with amused laughter. “I’m sorry, but weren’t you out all last night at Jodi’s party? And a few nights before that, didn’t you come home so drunk it’s a miracle you didn’t wake up Mom and Dad? And two weeks ago wasn’t it you who—”
“I know I haven’t been the best role model,” I said. “But things have changed. I’m not doing that stuff anymore.”
Abbie rolled her eyes. “Please, Skylar. Both of us know you’ll be back to partying in a week.”
I sucked in a long breath and released it. “All I’m saying is I’m no longer picking you up at Lance’s when Mom thinks you’re at Jenna’s.”
Abbie harrumphed at this. She didn’t say another word to me the rest of the night.
“Do you have Connor’s number?” Jodi asked as we relaxed poolside at the country club a couple days later.
I propped myself onto my elbows so I could see her full face. “Connor Ross?”
“What other Connor do we know?” Dark sunglasses hid her eyes, but I could tell she rolled them. “Does Eli have his number?”
I hesitated. “I’m sure there’s a team contact list of some kind.”
“Could you ask him for it?”
“Jodi . . .”
“What’s the big deal? I know you two talk a zillion times a day.”
I’d hoped Jodi’s interest in Connor would be like one of her signature crushes, lasting a single night before evaporating. Then Connor would become what countless other guys had before him—something we all laughed about the next morning. Jodi would say to me, “Please don’t tell anybody I even considered liking him,” and Connor would fade into an inside joke, then someone neither of us remembered. But for reasons mysterious to me, Connor had more staying power than his predecessors.
I waved at the crowded pool. “This place is crawling with good-looking guys. Even a few you haven’t dated.”
Jodi gave me a look. “Ha ha.”
“Seriously. See the guy by the vending machines? He’s been watching you for the last fifteen minutes.”
She laughed. “He’s watching you.”
“No he isn’t.”
“I’m looking at him right now and we’re not making eye contact. He’s looking at you.”
I lowered my sunglasses—yep, she was right.
“Well, forget about him,” I said, pushing my glasses back into place. “My point is, if you’re looking for an end-of-summer boyfriend, Connor isn’t the only option.”
At the sound of his name, her mouth curled into a smile. “What’s wrong with Connor? He’s so sweet. I’ve never dated anybody sweet.” She sighed, lovesick, and rolled onto her flat stomach. “Do you think he likes me?”
I looked at my best friend, tan and blonde. “What’s not to like?”
Jodi smiled and then drifted to sleep in the sunshine.
When I returned home, hair stiff and smelling of chlorine, I found Mom on her way out.
“Oh, hi,” she said, stopping at the sight of me. “I didn’t expect you home so soon.”
“Jodi had to work. Where are you going?”
“Counseling.”
“I thought your marital counseling was on Tuesdays.” I flipped through the mail. Only credit card offers and college brochures came to me, but still I checked every day in case of something exciting, like an anonymous love letter.
“We changed it to Thursdays,” Mom said, smoothing the skirt of her summer dress. “Well, I need to go or I’ll be late. Wake your sister up, okay?”
After she left, I trotted upstairs and peeked into Abbie’s room. Beams of sunshine sliced across her face, but she slept undisturbed. “Wake up,” I said from the doorway.
She blinked in the glory of the afternoon. “What time is it?” The first words she’d spoken to me since our fight nearly thirty-six hours ago.
“Almost one. Get up. I’m making lunch.”
Abbie groaned. “Please, no more tuna salad.”
“Well, Mom hasn’t bought groceries this week, so there’s not much else.”
“That’s okay. I’m not hungry.”
I raised my eyebrows. Abbie burned so much energy with all her Abbieness that she could eat around the clock and never gain an ounce. “You aren’t hungry?”
“Nope,” she said, and resettled into her pillow.
I frowned as her breathing deepened. Fine. What did I care if she slept the day away?
As I threw together a meager lunch, Jodi called. She tried to whisper, but her voice came out high and squeaky. “Guess who I have a date with tomorrow night.”
“Tell me it’s not Connor.”
She seemed not to hear me. “You know how you always say if I like a guy, I should tell him instead of waiting around for him to ask me out? Well, I did. And he sounded happy about it!”
“Of course he did. Wouldn’t you be happy if Brad Pitt called and asked you for a date?”
Jodi considered this. “Isn’t he a little old for me?”
“Do you get my point or not?” I asked, licking mayonnaise from my finger.
“I thought you’d be proud of me for making the first move. It’s scary.”
“I am proud, but I don’t think—” I realized something. “Hey, how did you get his number?”
A shrill voice interrupted. “Jodi, are you on the phone in there?”
“No,” Jodi answered, and the line went dead.
How Jodi managed to stay employed at Gap longer than a month mystified me. Not only did she show up late for every shift, but I received tons of hushed calls from the storeroom regarding either an incredibly cute customer who’d asked for her number, or an incredibly annoying customer she’d told off. Management tolerated her sketchy work ethics because Jodi’s sales rates were double those of any other floor employee, thanks to guys who bought stuff just to talk to her.
I carried my sad-looking sandwich outside. The family who had lived here before us sank a lot of money into making the backyard beautiful, with butterfly gardens and shrubs lining
the fence. Now it was overgrown and underwatered. No one but us saw it, so why would Mom and Dad put effort into making it look nice?
I flopped onto one of the teak chaises. Senior year started in a month. I’d never been so ready. Every summer activity I’d anticipated—sleeping in, swimming, and gobs of time with my girlfriends—now left me too free to think of Aaron. Especially because my friends kept bringing him up.
“You guys were so flirty at the party, and then the next thing we knew you were with Eli. What’s the deal?”
“He just wasn’t my type,” I said to each of them. The wobble in my voice seemed obvious to me, but no one ever noticed. “He was so clingy, it was just pathetic.”
Why couldn’t they just leave me alone? Had my friends always been so annoying? I’d never noticed before, but now they seemed so . . . cliché. Typical popular girls—only guys, clothes, and makeup occupied them. No uniqueness.
Aaron had agreed.
“You’re different than your friends,” he’d said, standing close. Flattered, I allowed him to lean in and kiss me.
Thinking about Aaron made my head swim, as if I were still in that room, the roofy just taking effect. I tried turning off the mental pictures but couldn’t stop them.
That dark room. His handsome face so close to mine it blurred. The alarm clock blinking an incorrect time—it hadn’t been reset from the power outage the night before. I tipped my face toward the sun, hoping to remind the frozen place inside me that I was safe now. But still . . .
The weight of him. My dry mouth. My meager voice asking for a drink of water.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, but I wasn’t sure to whom. God, I supposed. “I didn’t mean to.”
The sticky smell of his cologne, his breath hot on my face.
I reached for my phone and pressed a random speed dial number. I didn’t know who I called until Alexis answered.
“You busy?” I asked. “I’m thinking about hitting the mall.”
3
Mom studied me as we ate dinner.
“You’re making me nervous,” I said through a mouthful of lasagna.
Me, Just Different Page 2