Matthew tore into the paper, pulling out a brown horse like the one he’d seen in the mercantile. He looked up at Sebastian, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “Thank you, ’Bastian! How’d you know I like brown best? Mama, can I
go over there and play with it?”
Amanda blinked hard, willing the tears from her eyes as she nodded to him. That must have been what she’d seen Sebastian put in his pocket before she took Matthew to swing. With an iron will she gained control of her emotions and asked, “How did you know Matthew likes horses?”
He shrugged. “He told me on the train.”
“When we were in the store he asked for a horse, but I—” her voice broke. “Thank you,” she managed to whisper. But Sebastian wasn’t paying attention to her, he was watching Matthew with a smile. Thanking God for small favors, she hurriedly wiped her eyes and poured some more coffee from the pot Mrs. Mayberry had left. She sipped the strong brew, idly watching the passersby. How nice, to sit on a pretty porch while the sun bent over the horizon, watching her son play happily. A soft breeze rustled her hair and she put a hand to it, realizing that she hadn’t combed it since she’d run out that morning. How she must look!
Sebastian stood reluctantly. “The train comes pretty early in the morning, we’d best turn in for the night.”
She motioned for Matthew to join them. “I’ll meet you here in the morning.”
He turned to walk through the door, but halted at her softly spoken words. “Sebastian. I’ve enjoyed your company today.”
Sensing that for some reason this was hard for her to say, he simply nodded politely and went on his way.
That night as Amanda lay awake in the cozy bed,
Matthew curled up beside her, she wondered about Sebastian. Her first instinct was to steer clear of him, but she felt inexplicably drawn to him. She knew that many people weren’t what they first appeared to be, but Sebastian was different somehow. His kindness was genuine, she was sure. And Matthew, who had never taken well to strangers, absolutely worshipped the man.
She only wished she knew if he could be trusted. She’d been so overly cautious for so long, she wasn’t sure what was real and what was imagined anymore. She knew, if she continued to travel with him, that she could be walking into a trap. But on the other hand, she honestly could not see Sebastian doing anything to hurt them. Or anyone else, for that matter.
Much later she finally fell asleep, content to be in a clean bed with her child nestled safely in her arms.
CHAPTER TWO
Amanda stepped out onto the porch early the next day to the soft songs of the birds and the sweet smell of a fresh spring morning. She smiled as she saw Sebastian climbing the stairs. He must have been to the train station already to check on the arrival time. “Good morning, Sebastian,” she called, a good night’s sleep putting her in good spirits.
He grinned when he heard her call his name. He bowed playfully before her. “Good morning, Amanda.” Her name from his lips was like a caress, and warmth spread through her.
“Have you been to the train station?”
He nodded. “Our train has been delayed for at least one day. It’s having some engine problems and all the other trains are booked. Looks like we’ll be here for a while longer.”
Amanda fought down a rush of panic. “I really need to get to St. Louis.”
He shrugged. “I do, too. But since we have no choice we might as well make the best of the situation. There’s a festival today, why not enjoy ourselves?” Yes, why not, she thought to herself.
“Would you care to join me for breakfast?” Matthew jumped up and down. “Can we Mama, can we?”
Amanda nodded silently, telling herself that it would be silly to sit at two different tables in the same dining room.
She denied the growing attraction she was feeling for Sebastian, and tried not to worry about the fact that he was a lawman. After St. Louis she’d never see him again, so what harm could a few days of fun do? They were sorely in need of some entertainment, and Matthew had never been to a festival.
It was high time he had the chance.
As Amanda sat opposite him at the table, Sebastian noticed that she had taken the time to put up her honey blond hair and the dress she was wearing today was much more attractive than the loose fitting one from yesterday. The dark blue printed with tiny pink flowers suited her well.
Sebastian reluctantly looked away as Matthew claimed his attention, talking nonstop about the little brown horse he clutched tightly in his hands. Was this the only toy the boy had? Surely not, for Amanda seemed like the type of mother who would indulge her child. Of course, if money were the object, there were plenty of things that could be made from scraps around the house. She was certainly a mystery. Sebastian grinned. He’d always had a fondness for mysteries! Matthew taught his horse to prance about the table while Sebastian turned his attention to Amanda. “I’d be honored to escort you to the festival, Amanda. It’s been a long time since I’ve taken time away from work to relax and enjoy myself. The way I see it, a day off is way past due and if I have to spend it alone I’ll just end up feeling sorry for myself.
Say you’ll come with me.”
Amanda laughed. “You’ve missed your calling, Sebastian. You should have been a lawyer. I’m sure you could charm any jury into believing anything you wanted them to.”
Sebastian’s eyes darkened a bit, and Amanda wondered at the sadness she saw in them. “My days of trying to influence anyone’s opinion are long over. I’m much happier just to live and let live. I guess I’ve become the easy going type,” he said ruefully.
Amanda smiled. “I don’t suppose being mellow is anything to be ashamed of, Sebastian.”
“I guess not,” he grumbled, a scowl lining his face.
Amanda frowned a bit herself. Although she’d not known him very long, she had come to think of Sebastian as a light shining through darkness. His bright smile and lighthearted attitude seeped through her fear and made her feel warm and safe. The patience and friendship he’d given Matthew were priceless to her, and she’d wondered once or twice if he were even capable of a frown.
Amanda pulled herself up short. When had she stopped thinking of him as a possible enemy and started looking upon him as a friend? He was a lawman, for goodness sakes! He could even now be plotting ways to push her into Avery’s clutches.
Her fingers shook slightly as she took a sip of her coffee. What was she thinking? Except for that one time, she had always been a good judge of character. Hadn’t Miss Annabelle always asked her to sit in on meetings so she could get Amanda’s opinion of the businessmen? And, she thought proudly, she had never been wrong. Every man she had deemed trustworthy had proven to be so.
It was just that one time that she had made a mistake. Such a big mistake! But she’d been young and was so eager to start a life of her own that she hadn’t paid attention to her instincts.
But that was a long time ago. And even though her head told her he could be against her, her heart knew he wasn’t. His kindness was too genuine. His eyes weren’t hooded, but a clear, deep blue that twinkled merrily.
“Amanda?” She jerked her head up at the sound of two voices calling her name. Sebastian and Matthew were staring at her. “We’ve been trying to get your attention for a full five minutes. Where were you?”
“Were you sleeping with your eyes open, Mama?” Matthew chided.
She laughed. “I suppose I was. What were you trying to tell me?”
“Your food’s getting cold.”
She looked down in surprise at a plate of steaming biscuits and gravy. Sebastian must have ordered for her again, but she didn’t recall the waitress taking their order or bringing the plates to the table. She must have been deep in thought, indeed!
She ate silently, savoring the good food but, more than that, the animated conversation that ensued between Sebastian and her son. Matthew, always a quiet child, seemed to blossom under Sebastian’s attentions. His eyes sparkled
brightly and his smile seemed to light the room. She smiled as Matthew was telling a particularly exciting story, holding his arms wide and demonstrating the wings of a bird. Suddenly, he lost his balance and tipped to the side, heading straight for the hard wood floor. Before Amanda could even react, Sebastian’s strong arm shot out and grabbed the boy’s shoulder, steadying him. Amanda smiled her thanks, but the near fall didn’t even interrupt Matthew’s chatter. She sighed, wondering what her life would have been like had she found someone like Sebastian years ago. Would every day be spent like today, with warm conversation and smiles that were never strained, never forced? Would the underlying contentment she felt today extend over the years, their friendship growing stronger with every day they faced together? Would he smile at her like that every morning when she woke up and every night before she went to bed?
Amanda closed her eyes and berated herself for her thoughts. Just because every glance from his deep blue eyes made her insides turn to liquid was no reason to daydream for something she couldn’t have. She knew what she must do, and she would do it—eventually. She had taken this one day from her worries to enjoy life with her son, but she could not fool herself into thinking that she could ever have a future with Sebastian. Indeed, with any man. How could she when she had no future herself? When her past caught up with her, her life would be finished. She could only pray that she was able to find a good home for Matthew before that happened.
Sebastian studied Amanda over the rim of his coffee cup while he half-listened to Matthew’s chatter. She ate silently, smiling at Matthew from time to time, but it was obvious she was not aware of what he was saying. She had retreated deep inside herself, for some reason or another.
The woman was an enigma. It was apparent to him that she was unsure whether she could trust him or not. One moment, like on the train, she seemed openly fearful and unapproachable. Then in the next moment, like last night, she was warm and friendly. Now Sebastian knew, had known from the beginning, that she was running from something. As a lawman, he’d learned how to discern a situation simply by gazing into an outlaw’s eyes. The same fear and desperation was evident in Amanda.
He wanted to help her. After years of chasing outlaws and dealing with every kind of scenario a marshal could imagine, oftentimes helplessly watching the guilty walk and the innocent punished, he’d had enough of trying to aid his fellow man. All he’d wanted to do was go back home to Marissa. But now, he had the inexplicable urge to protect Matthew and Amanda from whatever it was that so terrified her.
It was a long ride to St. Louis. Maybe he could drag the information out of her before their arrival.
Setting his cup down, he stood and held his hand out
to Matthew. “Are you ready to see the festival?”
Matthew jumped off the chair, placing his hand trustingly in Sebastian’s. Smiling at Amanda, Sebastian held out his arm, “Shall we?”
After a slight hesitation, she accepted his offer and placed her hand lightly on his arm. For a fraction of a second she felt lightheaded, so great was her reaction to Sebastian’s touch. That unexplainable warmth and peace stole over her as it always did whenever they made contact of any sort.
Matthew raced out the door and jumped down the steps to the ground below. “Look, Mama, there’s lots of people down the street! Oooh, I smell something yummy. Let’s go see. Come on!” he urged as the older couple followed at a slower pace.
Although she knew she should, Amanda just could not force herself to let loose of Sebastian. He strode confidently beside her; his attention focused once again on Matthew. She glanced up at him through lowered lashes. Oh, but he was a sight to behold! Just then, he looked down at her, causing warmth to suffuse her middle. What was wrong with her? She’d never felt like this before, as if her whole being suddenly came alive whenever her eyes met his.
Sebastian motioned toward a small group of ponies. “Can Matthew ride one?”
“Oh, I don’t know. He’s never ridden before. I don’t think it’s safe.”
“I’ll stay with him,” he assured her.
Amanda nodded, then sighed in irritation as he walked away to help the child mount. She had a sinking feeling that she would agree to anything that man suggested as long as their bodies were joined at some point. It was only once the contact was broken that her sense came back to her, and with it all her fear and distrust.
She watched closely as Sebastian lifted Matthew onto the pony and held him around the waist, walking along beside them as the animal swayed back and forth, slowly plodding along. The look of pure pleasure on her son’s sweet face was enough to make her forget her misgivings and enjoy his fun. She leaned against the fence that corralled the docile ponies and watched. Sebastian always kept his strong hands within inches of the boy’s waist, leaning down now and again to softly murmur instructions and encouragement.
It was not lost on Amanda the way her son looked to
Sebastian for guidance, devotedly hanging on his every word. She had the feeling she could have stood atop the fence and sang “America the Beautiful” at the top of her lungs and neither of them would even notice. Sebastian confused her. He was a lawman. A handsome, tall, incredibly strong and muscular lawman. He should have scared the daylights out of her. He did scare the daylights out of her, when she had all her senses about her. If only he wouldn’t touch her she would be fine. Even the slightest brush of his hand could send a liquid fire into the very heart of her, leaving such a luscious feeling of security that she almost wished she could hold onto him forever.
She smiled as Sebastian lifted Matthew off the horse and he came running to her. “Did you see me, Mama? Did you see me ride the horse?!” His little face was flushed and his brown eyes sparkled with delight.
“I did see, sweetheart. You did a fine job.”
He nodded. “’Bastian says I’m a natural. Right, ‘Bastian?”
He strode up behind the boy. “That’s right. I’ve seen many a man that couldn’t sit a horse as well as you.”
Beaming, Matthew skipped off in search of another activity to participate in. Once again, Sebastian offered his arm and, once again, Amanda accepted it. She smiled secretly at the warmth that spread through her limbs. “It was kind of you to help him and give him such high praise.”
Sebastian smiled down at her, his deep blue eyes full of mirth. “I told him the truth. Half the men in the army couldn’t ride a horse as well as that boy. He’s something to be proud of.”
“You were in the army?”
The laughter in his eyes dimmed a bit. “I was. A long time ago.”
“In the war?” she asked softly.
Sebastian turned his head, effectively shielding his eyes from her view. “Yes,” he said curtly, picking up his stride as if trying to outrun the questions.
“Which side were you on?”
He stopped abruptly in the middle of the street and turned his troubled gaze on her. “Does it matter? After five damned years can it really matter which side I fought for?”
She met his hard gaze without flinching, studying the mixed emotions hidden there. “No,” she whispered. “No, it doesn’t.”
They resumed their walk, a silence descending upon them. Amanda wondered at the sadness he hid deep inside himself. He must have witnessed horrible things, and she admired him for the cheerful disposition he could still maintain when so many other soldiers had become bitter shells of their former selves.
It didn’t take him long to resume his former attitude, for a moment later he was standing in line with Matthew to sign up for various afternoon activities. Every now and then his fingers would stealthily poke the boy in the ribs, sending him into gales of laughter.
Amanda stood at a quilting booth, sipping lemonade Sebastian had given her and admiring the handiwork of the many multicolored quilts. It was while she was eyeing one in particular that a woman smiled at her from inside the booth. “Hello. I couldn’t help noticing your boy over there. He’s a cute little guy.”
Amanda smiled. “Why, thank you.”
“It looks like they’re signing up for quite a few activities.”
“Yes, I suppose they are. They both seem to be full of energy today.”
“That child looks just like his daddy. You caught
yourself a handsome one, ma’am.”
Amanda followed the woman’s look, smiling as her eyes lit upon Sebastian. She decided not to correct the lady’s wrong assumption. At that moment he turned to look for her and their gazes locked. He grinned at her, and she couldn’t help but smile in return. She was beginning to think there was something special about that man.
The woman in the booth claimed her attention. “Are
you new in town, ma’am?”
“Just passing through,” she smiled. “Our train was delayed.”
“Where are you headed?”
“St. …Paul,” Amanda hedged, belatedly remembering the threat of Avery.
“I hope you have a nice time in our little town.” “Thank you,” she said, walking away quickly. She knew Avery would find her trail, but she wasn’t about to make it easy for him. Without thought she headed straight for Sebastian and the comfort she knew she could find from him.
She found him huddled together with her son,
efficiently binding their legs together for the three-legged race. He smiled up at her while his fingers worked to finish the knots in the rope. “There you are. You’re just in time to see us win a race, right Matt?”
“Yep!” her son squealed. “We’re the fastest in the West!”
Sebastian laughed. “Well, I don’t know about that, but we have determination on our side. We can’t lose in front of such a pretty lady as your mother, now can we? Her beauty will inspire us.”
Amanda’s cheeks turned a deep crimson as she fought the laughter that bubbled up inside her and spilled out despite her best efforts. A smile remained on her face as she watched the pair hobble over to the starting line with a large group of others. At the signal, several of the participants fell to the ground right on the starting line. But not her team. Oh no, they were moving down the field as if they strode about tied together every day. Nary a man could catch up to them, let alone pass, and when they finally reached the finish line, they fell in a heap to the ground, Matthew landing squarely on Sebastian’s chest. Amanda stepped forward in concern but resumed her position when she saw them simultaneously hold up the ribbon that had broken as they’d passed it. Applause peppered the crowd of onlookers, and the team claimed their blue ribbons and swaggered over to her, proud as punch of the prizes pinned to their shirts.
My Guardian Knight Page 3