by Tina Beckett
“Crazy? I know. It’s making us all a little crazy. That kid has a lot of people wrapped around her little finger.”
“Yes, she does.” He smiled. “Including her father.”
Her fingers toyed with the edge of his sleeve again, not quite touching him, as if she wanted to give comfort but was afraid of skin-to-skin contact. “We’re going to figure this out.”
Right now he was glad she wasn’t touching him. Because the warm flow of her voice was doing what her hand wasn’t. It was permeating his pores and meandering through his bloodstream, where it affected his breathing, his heart rate and his thoughts—taking them into dangerous territory. Territory that only his late wife had occupied. He couldn’t afford to let Madison trespass there. If he did, it could spell disaster for both him and his daughter.
“I’m sure you will.” In a deliberate move, he tugged his sleeve from her grasp. “I’m counting on it. And so is Ivy.”
Then he was walking away, before he could ask exactly what she and Ivy had been planning for Christmas, or ask if Madison was including herself in those plans.
* * *
Once back in the tiny office she’d been given while Dr. Camargo’s office was being renovated, Madison fingered the notebook in her pocket. She was glad that Theo hadn’t asked her to hand it over to him. He’d seemed pretty upset to find the two of them in there laughing, but it hadn’t been easy to pretend when her heart was aching over the little girl’s revelation. Because the first thing on Ivy’s wish list was for her father to like Christmas.
Her eyes had burned. It seemed that she wasn’t the only one with an aversion to the season. And the last thing she could promise anyone was that she’d help them learn to like a holiday she detested. Maybe she should put that on her Christmas list too.
Except Madison had no interest in changing her ways at this late date. She did what she could to get through the last month of the year, closed her eyes as she passed the festive trees and lights, and then breathed a sigh of relief once the calendar rolled over into a new year.
Fingering the thick file folder on her desk, she flipped it open to the first page, where Ivy’s vital statistics were listed in bold clinical letters. The child was far wiser than her five years. And she saw things Theo probably didn’t even know she was aware of. Or maybe his daughter had already shared her longing with him. Madison didn’t think so, though.
She knew he was widowed, from the hospital grapevine. And his ring finger no longer held a wedding ring, so he’d gotten over the loss. Or had he? Some people never really got over that kind of life change.
Another thing Madison could relate to. Although her loss had nothing to do with a husband, or even a boyfriend.
Shaking herself free of her funk, she pulled the notebook from her pocket and dropped it onto her desk. She’d have to figure out a way to get a few of the things on Ivy’s list without making her dad suspicious. Or angry. He had to know how fortunate he was to have a daughter who was worried as much about him as he worried about her. She was small and so very ill, and yet her determination to do all she could to get better—for her dad’s sake—was one of the most touching things Madison had seen in a long time.
She flipped the first page open and perused the list, forcing her glance to leap over that first item. The rest of the things ranged from sweet to hilarious.
A new stethoscope—in purple, if Santa has one, because that is Ivy’s favorite color.
A book about horses so he’ll fall in love with them like she has.
An adult coloring book. One of Ivy’s nurses talked about how every grown-up should have one.
Somehow, Madison couldn’t picture those big hands clutching a crayon—although he was very much a paint-by-numbers type of person. No coloring outside the lines for him.
Macaroni and cheese. Evidently Theo’s favorite food. Santa must carry casseroles around in his toy sack.
A puppy. Ha! Wouldn’t Theo love coming home to find a puppy under the tree.
That was all they had so far on the list. Except for that very first thing. Her eyes tracked up to it against their will.
Make Daddy love Christmas.
God, even the real Santa would have a tough time granting that wish. The rest was doable. Well, maybe not the puppy. But everything else could be gotten for a relatively inexpensive price, wrapped and listed as being from Santa.
Why did she even care? She wasn’t here to buy anyone gifts. Or to make a little girl happy.
She was here to help solve difficult diagnoses. That was it. And to fulfill a lifelong dream of visiting the UK. She should be on cloud nine. Instead, she felt itchy and slightly uncomfortable, like wearing a new wool sweater without anything else beneath it.
You need to get out and see more of England. Staying around this hospital day in and day out isn’t healthy.
But there was something about Ivy...
She’d found herself spending more and more time with the little girl, almost succeeding in convincing herself it was to help figure out the child’s condition. Except she knew it was a lie. She was here for Ivy, even if being around her dad made her squirm in discomfort.
She wasn’t exactly sure why that was, but she’d better figure it out before she did something stupid. Really stupid. Like wish Ivy were hers, maybe?
She stood in a rush and clasped her hands behind her back, lifting them away from her body while bending forward at the waist, hoping the resultant stretch would help clear her head of its current thoughts. Higher and harder she stretched, vaguely aware of her door opening with a couple of light taps.
“Dr. Archer?”
Madison froze in place. Oh, Lordy. But at least the voice was female and not the man who’d jerked away from her a couple of hours earlier. How humiliating had that been? She’d just been trying to help.
Letting her arms drop back to her sides, she stood and saw Naomi Collins, one of the physical therapists at the hospital. Her romance with pediatric surgeon Finn Morgan was the stuff dreams were made of.
“Hi. Sorry about that. I had a kink in my neck and was trying to work it out.” More like a kink in her head, but it was pretty much the same thing.
Naomi chuckled. “It’s fine. You should see the things I do when I’m alone.” Another laugh. “Forget I said that. I didn’t mean that quite the way it sounded.”
“I didn’t think it sounded odd at all.” She smiled to reassure her. After all, if Naomi could have gotten a good look at what was rattling around in her head, she might be a little more than shocked. “Can I help you with something?”
“I just wanted to talk with you about Ivy. What you wanted me to work on with her tomorrow.”
With her clear complexion and deep gorgeous skin tones, Naomi was beautiful. And she was a huge hit with all her young charges, including Ivy.
“I’m not her only doctor, you know.”
Naomi entered the office and closed the door behind her. “Maybe not, but right now everyone—if they’re smart—is deferring to you and hoping you’ll solve whatever is going on with her.”
“And if I can’t?” The words that she hadn’t dared say aloud in the hallway with Theo came tumbling out before she could stop them. She dropped into one of the metal chairs that flanked her desk.
The physical therapist came over and sat in the other one. “It’s a bit of pressure, yes?”
“Yes. And I want to figure it out. But I’m at a dead end at the moment.” She didn’t know why she was suddenly voicing her fears, but there was something in the other woman’s eyes that said she’d known fear—intimately—and had come out on the other side.
“Sometimes we just have to give ourselves a bit of space to regroup. And that’s when it normally comes to us. That realization that’s been in front of us all along.”
Were they still talking about Ivy? Or about something else?
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am. You’ll see.” Naomi leaned forward and captured her hands. “Just give yourself permission to take a step or two back and look at the problem with a wide-angle lens.”
Something about those words caught at an area of her brain, which set to work in the background. “Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.” She squeezed the other woman’s fingers before letting go. Gently. Not the way Theo had done in the hallway. “How are things with you and Finn, if I may ask?”
Naomi’s smile caused her nose to crinkle in a way that was both adorable and mischievous. “You can. And it’s great. Better than I have a right to expect.”
“It’s exactly what you should expect. And what you deserve.” From what Madison had heard, Naomi had had a hard time of it, losing loved ones in a terrible conflict in her home country. But she’d overcome it and had learned to live her life in the present.
Maybe Naomi should write a how-to book on how to do that. Madison would be one of her first customers if that ever happened.
“Thank you. Finn’s a good man.” Naomi sucked down a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Now, about Ivy...”
Madison went over what she would like to see happen with Ivy’s therapy tomorrow. Although she couldn’t walk or even hold herself up on the parallel bars they used to help people learn to walk again, they could still try to utilize what muscle strength she did have to its best advantage. Having her kick a large exercise ball and do some resistance bands to hopefully keep things from atrophying any faster than they already were was the biggest goal at the moment.
“I agree. That’s the perfect thing for her. I did a little work with the bands today, in fact. Right now the hope is to slow that downward spiral as much as possible, to buy ourselves time to find whatever’s going on.”
“Yes, and thank you. Do you want me to check with Theo to make sure he agrees?”
Naomi shook her head. “He’ll agree. He’s desperate to find anything that will work. As are we all. We all want her to beat whatever this is.”
With that she stood to her feet. “I think I’ll check in on her on my way out.”
“Thank you. And thanks for the pep talk.”
The physical therapist fixed her with a look. “It wasn’t a pep talk. It was the truth.”
She showed herself out, leaving Madison to think about what the other woman had said. Maybe she was right. Maybe she was going about this the wrong way. Maybe she really was using a microscope and focusing very narrowly when she should be casting a wide net and seeing what she could haul to shore.
Ha! That was easier said than done, but the more she mulled over the idea, the more it felt right. Now all she had to do was figure out what it meant. And then how to go about implementing it.
And she’d better do it soon. Before that slow downward spiral increased its pace, becoming something that no force on earth could stop. Before a child’s modest wish list was nothing more than a memory, and a father’s last hope was pulverized into dust.
CHAPTER TWO
SHE WASN’T IN her office.
Theo had knocked and then peeked into the small space before moving inside. He felt a little bit like an interloper, but figured he could as easily wait for her in here as go looking for her. The fact was, he was half-afraid of going to Ivy’s room and finding them in a cute little huddle like he had three days ago. Since then he’d forced himself to let Madison alone to do her work. If he hounded her every moment of every day, he would do more harm than good.
Or so he told himself. In reality, he wasn’t sure he was ready to face her after his panicked flight the last time. And he wasn’t sure why.
He dropped into one of the little chairs, wondering why her office was so spartan when most other doctors’ spaces were decked out with squashy leather chairs and the personal touches of its occupants.
It was because this hadn’t been an office at all. It had been a supplies cupboard, but it was all they’d had available, since the renovations on Dr. Camargo’s office were running behind schedule. But she hadn’t offered one word of complaint or acted like they’d set her in a place that was beneath her status. They were damned lucky to have someone like her, and Theo knew it.
He glanced at her desktop, finding it neat and mostly empty except for the stack of file folders on the left-hand side, at the top of which was Ivy’s chart. His fingers brushed across the cover, the temptation to open it coming and going. There was nothing in there that she wouldn’t have already told him. Then he spotted a small notebook. It was on the right side of the desk toward the back. He was almost sure that was the same notebook she’d tucked into her pocket after her tête-à-tête with Ivy. What was in it? Notes about the case?
No, she’d been scratching in that when he’d caught them giggling. They’d been making plans, Madison had said.
About Christmas.
The notebook was on her side of the desk, so he’d have to stretch across to reach it.
It’s not like it’s a personal diary, Theo.
And if it had anything to do with Ivy, didn’t he have a right to know what was in it?
His palm slid across the smooth wooden surface of the desk, and he had to lean slightly to reach it. His fingertips landed on the cover, preparing to drag the item toward him, when a slight breeze swept across his nape, sending the hairs rising in attention.
He pulled back in a hurry, turning to face whoever’d entered the room.
Damn.
It was Madison, and she’d caught him red-handed. Well, not really, since he hadn’t got a chance to crack the cover on that book.
“Theo, this is a surprise. Were you looking for me?” Her voice was slightly breathless, and she hurried around to the other side of the desk and opened a drawer, sweeping the offending item into it.
There was definitely something in there she didn’t want him to see. And that just made him want to look even more.
Dressed in a black cowl-necked sweater that hugged its way from her shoulders to the tops of her slender thighs, it set his senses on high alert. Just like the last time they had been together. He swallowed and tried to regroup and remember his reason for coming here. It certainly hadn’t been to ogle her.
“I was, actually. I wanted to know how Naomi fared with Ivy. She told me you changed tack a bit on her therapy. You’re no longer actively trying to get her to walk?”
“Not at the moment.” She dropped into her office chair and explained her reasoning pretty much the same way Naomi had described the plan to him. And he had to admit he agreed, even if it felt like they were giving ground to some hidden monster—one that was busy pulling a rope from the hidden safety of a screen. It might be out of sight but the effects were apparent to anyone watching the display. They couldn’t use brute force to overpower the lurker so they were simply trying to stop it from gaining traction.
“What’s our next step?”
“I’m not quite sure. The treatment team is meeting today. I’ll digest their findings later.”
“I’m aware of the meeting. So what are you bringing to the table?”
“Table? I’ve been to one or two of the meetings, but wasn’t planning on going to today’s.”
Theo’s heart chilled in an instant, even though he’d been the one to say she wasn’t required to go to them. “Reason?” Maybe this was where she conceded that she was giving up.
“I wasn’t invited.”
That made him sit back for a second. “You’re always invited. And they’ll want you there. I want you there. If you’re waiting for a formal, gold-foiled envelope to arrive on your desk, that probably isn’t going to happen.” He forced a smile he hoped reflected reassurance, although it certainly didn’t match what was churning around on the inside. What if she decided she wanted to focus on other cases and not spend the bulk of her time on Ivy anymore? Or,
worse, what if she’d noticed the tugs of interest he’d felt—even just a minute or two ago—despite his efforts to sweep them under the rug and out of sight? Would she think he was using his position to try to pressure her to prioritize Ivy’s treatment above anyone else’s?
His instinct as a father was to do exactly that. Help his child in any way he could. Use whatever means he could.
And yet he knew he had to push all of that aside and hold tight to his professional ethics. He’d started this hospital as a way to help people. If he chucked that aside and gave anyone preferential treatment, he would be flying in the face of his convictions.
Madison pulled her hair to the side and let it flow over her shoulder, the golden highlights contrasting with the dark knit of her sweater. And there it was again. That tickle in his midsection that was wreaking havoc with his objectivity.
Dangerous territory. Yes, it was. And his earlier thoughts about her trespassing? If he was the one putting out the welcome mat, he could hardly accuse her of wandering where she wasn’t invited.
She leaned forward, some of those silky strands of hair brushing across the surface of her desk.
He swallowed again, trying to think of something to say to cover the moment. She beat him to it.
“I know this is going to sound strange, but I’ve been sending my findings to the group, and they’ve relayed any information they wanted me to have. It’s how I’ve always worked, even back at my own hospital in the States. I look at all the pieces and try to put them together to form a diagnosis. It’s hard for me to do that with a bunch of voices and emotions tangling with each other.”
Like the ones going round and round his head right now?
Maybe this was why she wasn’t getting on with one or two of the doctors at the hospital. He knew some of those sessions could get heated, with specialists vying for a chance to be heard, but Theo had always thought that was a healthy atmosphere. Hope Hospital emphasized working as treatment teams with the idea that more input was better for the hospital’s patients. He was finding out that Madison’s file was right. She preferred prowling around the outskirts.