by Scott Allan
The Instant Success Myth
Many people want instant success. They are impatient to wait five, ten, or even twenty years for their dreams. We live in a society that can grant us anything right away. The concept of focus is often lost when we have so much external stimuli capturing our attention day in and day out. Our attention spans are shorter, and so is our tolerance and patience.
Jerry Seinfeld, the well-known creator of the Seinfeld show, is worth $870 million dollars and is perhaps the most successful comedian in show business. But how long did it take him to get there?
Approximately fifteen years. He spent fifteen years on stage, getting thrown off stage, and missing more than he hit. With a lot of hard work and perseverance, anything is possible. But just because it’s possible doesn’t mean that most people will succeed. Anyone can create the life they want, but if it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
This is the golden ticket. It really is what separates the winners who create a life from the people who end up taking what they can get.
No matter what happens—whether the economy collapses, if you lose your home and end up on the streets, no matter what challenges you’re facing right now—you must be 100 percent ready to commit.
You have to burn your ships at the harbor and fight for your life. This may sound overly dramatic, but I know of no other dream that is forged with anything less. If you truly believe in what you stand for, if you really want to create a destiny that is an unforgettable journey, get ready to dig in and charge forward.
If you fall down, you can always get back up. It doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down, either. If you fail, you can try again, and keep pushing ahead.
The only failure in life is staying down and giving up. You can only be defeated when you decide that the game is over.
The Pivotal Moment
“The prison of the past is one you must escape in order to pivot. Our job now is to find out where your attachments to the past lie.”
― Adam Markel, author of Pivot: The Art and Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life
For those who are successful, it all comes down to a moment in their life during which they made a definite decision to do something that would set in motion the events that shaped their lives.
This is the Pivotal Moment.
Can you name the one defining moment in your life in which you turned your destiny into a course of action? What was the decision you made that sent you in the direction you most desired?
If you haven’t had a defining moment yet, don’t worry. You can now become mindful of the moment when it presents itself. The moment of your greatest fear, when you have to decide whether or not to take action, could be the moment that changes everything.
Your pivotal moment is the instant you realize precisely what you want to do with your life. You might decide to start your own business, join a triathlon, quit your dead-end job and do what you love, move to another city to start a new life, or choose to develop a new habit that creates a different set of actions.
Your moment of realization is the pivotal turn that can fuel your purpose through those moments of doubt, fear, and uncertainty. It will reinforce your decision, injecting courage whenever you second-guess yourself.
Pivotal Moments in History
Rosa Parks made a pivotal decision on the day she decided to refuse to give up her seat to a white passenger on a segregated bus in Alabama.
J.K. Rowling made a pivotal decision when she decided to rise up from her failure and rebuild her life, thus creating a series of bestselling books that sold over four hundred million copies and made her a billionaire.
Bill Gates made a pivotal decision the moment he decided to contact a growing company called MITS (Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry Systems) to negotiate a deal for a BASIC interpreter for their Altair 8800 system. But at the time of setting up this meeting, he and co-founder Paul Allen hadn’t even created the code yet.
Arnold Schwarzenegger made a pivotal decision when he decided to sneak out of the barracks of the Austrian military where he was serving two years compulsory service. The reason: To participate in the Mr. Europe bodybuilding competition in Germany, which he won, thereby setting his bodybuilding career in motion.
Viktor E. Frankl, who spent three years in various concentration camps until he was liberated in 1945, made his pivotal moment daily by choosing not to be defeated by the powers that threatened to take away his freedom. Frankl became aware that each of us has the power to define our lives by the choices we make and how to respond to circumstances instead of being made a victim by them.
Colonel Harland David Sanders made a pivotal decision in 1956 when a new interstate bypassed his restaurant, putting him out of business and leaving him with a monthly security check of $105. He decided he wouldn’t settle for a quiet retirement, and after packing up his car with two pressure cookers, he hit the road, traveling from restaurant to restaurant selling his recipe.
The Difference Between a Challenge and
Impossibility
There are two types of people I come across: those who are challenged by a new idea, and those who think it’s impossible.
To live the life you want, you have to believe in what is possible, even if it doesn’t feel realistic.
For example, you might set a goal for yourself to double your income in six months. Now, this might seem like a difficult goal to achieve. After all, you work for a company that pays you a set amount each month. You just got a raise at the end of your contract and so there won’t be additional income from this company in the foreseeable future. Therefore, if you only rely on this income, the goal becomes impossible. So, how do you get around this and double your income?
You could create a side hustle that brings in additional income. This is where the impossibility becomes a challenge. We know it’s possible to make more money, but it’s very difficult if you are relying on just one income stream that you can’t control. You need an additional source, or perhaps two.
By looking outside of the box, you are opening your imagination to greater possibilities. It may take you longer than six months to double your income, but if you create a plan, take direct action, and stay consistent in your habits, you could achieve your goal.
If you tell most people they could earn a million dollars in the next year, they will tell you it’s impossible. They’re right—because if you’re only making $87,000 a year at one job, you won’t be earning a million bucks if things remain the same.
When you begin thinking about how you can make this happen, you’re thinking like a challenger. How can I earn that much money on the side? How hard would I have to work to set up a system that would generate this much income? Why do I believe this is impossible?
Life is full of challenges and impossibilities. It is impossible for you to move a heavy object if you just push it with your hands. But give yourself enough leverage, and anything becomes possible. We need this leverage in our lives to move heavy obstacles that are in the way so we can do greater things.
Your pivotal decision is that leverage.
Those who have accepted their situation as it is are making excuses, stuck because they refuse to see other possibilities. When we believe that a goal is impossible, it will remain that way until somebody else proves it can be done. Why wait for someone to prove it to you when you can make your dreams a reality?
As long as you stay committed to moving beyond your comfort zone, you will be driven to think outside the box. This is where our unique and creative ideas are born.
We can train ourselves to push our desires to want more than we have been given, and to crave that sense of freedom that belongs to you the moment you claim it. All you need is the resilience to say yes, and the commitment to put your plan into forward motion.
A destiny is created when we take intentional action, and push our fears out of the way.
A baby can’t walk, eat on its own, or figure out complex problems. But gi
ve that baby time to grow and he or she will be capable of anything. With the proper guidance, love, and encouragement, there is nothing a child can’t one day accomplish.
The same is true for anyone. We have forgotten what it’s like to be a child, to dream, to not let fear defeat us. If fear is defeating you, remember you were once unafraid of the world. You can become that fearless warrior again.
Make your pivotal decision. Let go of the outcome. Engage in fearless confidence.
Action Tasks
What was the pivotal moment that changed your life? If you haven’t had one yet, what would you like it to be?
What decision are you putting off right now?
What opportunity are you holding back on pursuing?
How do you visualize the course of your life after one year? Two years? Five or ten?
In the next chapter, let’s talk more about the power of beliefs and how they can shape our lives.
Beliefs —The Ultimate Destiny Makers
“It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”
— Muhammad Ali
A belief is a deeply-rooted thought, idea, or conviction that serves as the mainframe for making decisions, conducting our behavior, and managing self-control over our feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
Your core beliefs lead to successes and failures. Your beliefs are like puppeteers, pulling at your strings and causing you to react based on past beliefs and experiences, defining the path for who and what you will become.
A Sense of Absolute Certainty
Beliefs set the standard for everything that is possible in your life. They are the powerful engines of certainty and deep-rooted convictions. If you want to be the force that controls your own destiny, you must learn to control your beliefs. They have the power to build you up or ruin you.
The reality you live in is a reflection of what you believe. If you are happy and prosperous, with a positive outlook and attitude, it is because you are engaging in an empowering belief system that has created this way of life.
Your reinforcement of internal beliefs are either empowering or disempowering the life you are living. Ask yourself: Are your current beliefs setting you up for success? Or are they holding you back from living the life you want?
Beliefs are incredibly persuasive, continuously shaping the course of our lives. You can dictate the beliefs that guide your life. You can choose to believe that good things are happening all around you, or you can choose not to believe in anything and take your chances.
In the moment you realize you are not a victim of circumstances, but the creator of them,
your destiny is shaped.
You can manage your destiny through a system of intentional choice, and abandon your dependence on luck. What you believe in is what you take deliberate action towards.
You can hold on to your old beliefs and get what you have always received, or you can expand your way of thinking, mapping out and creating a new belief system, setting a new criterion for yourself, with empowering dreams and goals that excite and challenge you. Whatever happened in the past does not have to be your future. What you believed in yesterday you can change today.
Powerful beliefs open new doors, make the impossible possible, and give you the energy to go ahead with the construction of your dreams. Negative beliefs, on the other hand, are anchors weighing you down, corrupting your performance and weakening your internal structure.
Your belief is a deep conviction that convinces the subconscious of something that is supposed to be true. This doesn’t mean that it is true; it just means that it is true for you. Your beliefs act as filtering stations that sort out our perceptions of the world.
Our belief system is equipped with a unique selection process that filters the information we receive and discards the rest. Once you are introduced to an idea or concept that fits in to your present reality and current needs, the idea is given an evidence test. Your conscious mind will seek evidence to support the belief, and if it’s viable, you will act on it.
If you are still uncertain of the impact that empowering beliefs really have, take a look at some of the world’s most prominent people and study the beliefs that turned them into super-achievers.
It is the strength of beliefs that created entrepreneurial icons like Henry Ford and Ray Krok; sports heroes Mohammed Ali and Michael Jordan; the creative genius of Leonardo Da Vinci, Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart; and the modern-day legendary icons Steven Spielberg, J.K. Rowling, and Bill Gates.
All these people succeeded because they believed they could. They had doubts like everyone else, but their beliefs were stronger than the doubts that threatened to hold them back. Once you create an unbreakable foundation of certainty and channel it into your belief system, you become unbreakable.
Within the belief systems of these icons, there is an unshakable, all-empowering confidence that has been at work from the very beginning. They were not born with it; they created it with strong support from their mentors and coaches, and their own inner drive to succeed where others would fail.
If a trek of one thousand miles begins with the first step, that first step must be a step of faith. Empowering beliefs create powerful outcomes. Our beliefs shape the world we live in and determine the course of action. What you believed in yesterday doesn’t have to be the same thing you believe in today.
Beliefs that hold on to the past are dragging you down. It’s important to understand the basic steps behind how a belief is created.
Changing Your Beliefs
I want you to think about this quote for a moment by Napoleon Hill:
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe,
it can achieve.”
If this quote is true, and we believe it, then our beliefs have massive influence on our destiny. But even better than that, beliefs are not set in stone. We can change them if we apply a specific process. When our beliefs fail us, it’s time to think, behave, and believe differently.
You are responsible for the beliefs you choose to create. Regardless of what you have been taught, you are in control of your own state of mind. With the right tools and guidance, there is nothing in your life that cannot be created or reinvented. Now, let’s take a look at making some changes in our belief system.
You should consider changing your beliefs if they:
No longer support your current goals, dreams, and mission.
Feed into and supports negative thoughts and destructive behavior.
Limit your potential for success.
Prevent you from taking action toward the fulfillment of your great purpose.
We can all make changes in regard to our beliefs. Some of these beliefs are easy to spot, resting in plain sight on the surface. Others are less obvious and require a deeper level of insight and acute awareness. As you work on altering these beliefs, you will start to notice changes in your own physiology.
Emotionally, you will start to feel better about who you are. Physically, you will feel stronger and look better. Mentally, you will be more focused on your needs, as well as on the needs of others.
Change Your Limiting Beliefs:
The Six-Step Process
Believe it or not, you can change a belief in an instant. The challenge is in recognizing the beliefs that should be switched so they are in alignment with your current values and needs.
It is important to understand that beliefs have created the circumstances in our lives. When we change something, we can change the circumstances. This is one way to experience a transformation. In almost every case, this requires the following changes:
An individual must change their beliefs about something.
And they must change the thoughts supporting those beliefs.
Here are six steps you can take to begin changing anything in your life. Keep in mind that this takes time and you won’t always succeed by doing something once or twice.
Like any habit, you have to keep at it.
Step 1: Identify the belief you want to change. This is the first step to taking positive action. You can only change something if you know what you need to change, and why you want to change it.
Core negative beliefs that make you feel inferior, inadequate, or worthless should be first on your list. Why hang on to your painful thoughts any longer? This is a tough step for most people. We have been feeding into our pain for so long it starts to appear normal.
I can assure you that in working through your pain, and recognizing the negative beliefs you created about yourself, your life will begin to take a dramatic shift.
Here are some examples of beliefs you may have about yourself. See if you recognize any of these:
“Everything bad that happens to me is my fault.”
“I feel like I am less competent than everyone else when it comes to success or getting ahead in life.”
“I feel like a failure or a ‘nobody’ when in the presence of other people who are obviously better than me.”
“I have no qualities worth talking about that anyone would be interested in.”
“I should be perfect at all times. I have to show people I am perfect.”
“I am inherently flawed.”
“I am inferior. Everyone else is smarter, more educated, and they seem to land on their feet when all I do is fail from day to day.”
“I’m no good, and everyone knows it.”
“Once someone gets to know me, they will just leave me like everyone else.”
"My family was extremely dysfunctional; so, I am dysfunctional.”
“If only she would stop treating me that way, I’d feel better about this situation and myself.”
You might have a number of faulty beliefs about yourself that have disempowered you throughout most of your life. I know I did before I worked to turn them around. The key is to recognize what they are. Some are buried deep. Others are more noticeable and are running through your mind a hundred times a day. They feel so normal that you don’t question their validity.