by Scott Allan
The Discipline of Masters:
Why This Book Is a Good Fit for You
In this book you will learn to:
Confront the fear of big obstacles blocking your growth
Identify and eliminate your greatest self-defeating behavior
Remove the quick-fix addiction cycle
Challenge the old beliefs holding you prisoner
Confront the habit of procrastination and learn to do it NOW
Build superior performance with the best time-management techniques
Invest in yourself through priority investment planning
Focus on life design instead of life crisis
Navigate the ten pillars of delegating important work
Develop people through mentorship
Create a system for capturing your most prolific ideas
Implement your ideas to build the life that you want
Life mastery is about focusing in on the specific areas of your life that deliver impact. Your habits, actions, and ability to concentrate play large roles in conditioning your mind to stay on track.
Now ask yourself…
How would your life be different if you no longer gave in to quick-fix short cuts?
How prolific could you be from this moment forward if you made every minute count?
What level could you aspire to if you showed others how to be their best through mentorship or coaching?
What would happen if you paid more attention to your creative genius and blended your ideas with creative passion?
What area of your life matters most to you right now, and how would your life take on massive change if you focused in on this area?
Think about the possibilities. Let go of any self-imposed short-term limitations. The time is now to build something real that counts toward the big picture. Take intentional action today so you are always moving the needle in a progressive direction.
We have a lot of content to cover in a short amount of time. I recommend you keep a notebook handy and take notes. There are lots of strategies and key tactics I share in this book, and I don’t want you to miss anything.
Turn the page and let’s dive into it.
SECTION I:
The Master of
Destroying Obstacles
“Obstacles are placed in your path to prepare you for a higher purpose. These physical and mental roadblocks challenge you to rise to new levels of responsibility. To overcome your greatest limitations is to overcome the imperfections of the ego-mind holding you prisoner. You must face what you fear and work to overcome the obstacles that stand between you and all your hopes and dreams. You may come to realize, after all is won, that the biggest obstacle in your path is yourself.
— Scott Allan
Pathways to Self-defeat
“Obstacles will look large or small to you according to whether you are large or small.”
— Orison Swett Marden
Hell is the place where our mental, physical, and emotional faculties are at the mercy of uncontrollable habits and destructive behavior patterns. These obstacles separate the achievement of lifelong dreams from bitter failures, turning our lives into either a heaven or a purgatory.
Self-defeating behaviors—referred to in this book as SDBs—are barriers of defeat that act as internal coping mechanisms, usually cultivated from a young age. As our dependency on these behaviors grows in strength, we unintentionally nurture an addictive cycle providing us with instant pleasure and relief from our pain. Over the years of repetitive practice, these behaviors become integrated into our lifestyle and threaten to rob us of everything we stand for.
As our lives become unstructured and we lose sight of what matters most, a self-destructive cycle begins to take shape. Our lives become altered and twisted, forging a string of pathways that eventually lead to a chain of self-defeating habits.
We have a hard time accepting that our self-defeating habits were created by us, and when we can tap into this level of self-awareness, we will then realize they are destroyed by us as well. It is one thing to be defeated by someone, but it is another to be defeated by yourself.
This is a critical point to take in: most people are defeated by their own actions and not the actions of others. While the actions of others impact us, it is our reaction to the crisis that determines whether we can get through it.
When faced with a threatening situation or trauma, our natural instinct is to resort to the emotional and mental relief that these quick-fix behaviors bring us. In the beginning, self-defeating behaviors appear to be the best friends you could ever have. But in the end, they are exposed for the fake imposters of deception that they are.
SDBs are disguised as loyal companions: dependable, trustworthy, and predictable. They are always there when we need them. And because they predictably numb our pain, helping us to avoid facing an unpleasant truth or situation, our dependency on these behaviors runs deeper and becomes more internalized over time.
Self-defeating behaviors are manifested as mild to extreme mental and emotional ailments, an internal sickness of the mind and body that can harm us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, often placing us in danger through unlawful or spontaneous compulsive actions.
They destroy all our chances for expressing love, achieving success, having wealth, or taking control of our lives. As long as we are trapped within the model of self-defeat, we will never take charge of who we really are. We will never seize the day or become masters of our universe. Instead, we will end up with a broken, shattered existence.
Let’s not let that happen.
These behaviors may appear in the form of addictions, negative thinking, and personality disorders, as well as destructive actions. They corrupt personal relationships through hatred, anger, jealousy, envy, fear, greed, manipulation, addiction, or self-centeredness. SDBs are the internal weeds that have grown out of control in the garden of the mind.
It is a repetitive cycle trapping you in a world of lies and deceit, and the more these cycles are allowed to continue, the more likely you will always operate within a state of complete unawareness.
Self-defeating behaviors work because they are reliable and produce the instant results you need. Deceptive in nature, SDBs appear as last-minute saviors to rid you of a situation you don’t want to deal with, helping to numb the pain through alternative methods and providing you, the victim, with weaker choices that appear like the only way out.
We get hooked on the instant relief and escape from emotional pain and trauma that SDBs provide, even if the escape is only momentary. It is these weak emotional lapses that are conditioned to respond to behaviors of crisis whenever we experience any form of stress, pressure, or fatigue.
It is this place where you have stored your worst nightmares, negative behaviors, and buried skeletons of the past. It is also the birthplace of all character defects and cracks in your psyche, which provide the starting point for these defeating behaviors to grow and develop.
A Price to Pay
There is a price to pay for using and abusing a behavior of self-defeat. In the beginning, SDBs give us everything we want, but eventually turn on us, their masters, to deliver a lethal injection. Nothing comes for free, and your behaviors of chaos carry a heavy price in the end.
There is the alcoholic that once enjoyed drinking, until one day they have no friends or family; the gambler that loses everything, but still continues the downward spiral, borrowing money from friends, family, and coworkers; the compulsive shopper that has no spending limits, despite owing thousands to creditors and banks; the manipulators and cheats; the compulsive and impulsive people; and the people struggling with the inevitable various addictive patterns and feelings of hopelessness that come from not facing the obstacles, problems, and demons that challenge them on a daily basis.
“Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others,
eve
n if you don't like them.”
— Stacy Landon
Eventually, the price for engaging in this behavior is much heavier than we ever expected. What you must do is take a look at yourself and your current state, analyze these unhealthy and disruptive behaviors, and identify those behaviors when they start to occur.
Self-defeating behaviors are the symptoms of unresolved issues within ourselves, and although further therapy or support beyond what I can offer you here may be required, you should at least learn to recognize where, when, and how you are trapped in a cycle of self-defeat. This usually occurs when we lack certain life skills and coping mechanisms to defend ourselves against the personal weaknesses that plague the heart and mind.
Know now that recovery and a fresh start to building a better life is a choice only you can make. Instead of paying a heavy price for your suffering, you have the power of choice to determine your own personal value. You can make your actions count by choosing to do so. You will move from a place of feeling useless and unworthy to a place of maximizing your personal worth by severing the cycle of destructive power these behaviors create.
An Attachment to Pain
Self-defeating behaviors are difficult to remove because of the attachment we have placed on them. Negative behaviors act as high walls keeping us safe from the world but are, in fact, the prison of our lives. Instead of keeping us safe, they force us into further isolation.
Your self-defeating behaviors are powerful because you made them that way. You have trained your behaviors to react in a certain way to situations that you find undesirable. Instead of facing the pain and jumping the hurdles to overcome an obstacle, we have discovered that it is easier to avoid it, to go around it without confronting it, or to retreat from it. The lesson we have learned is that the things we run from eventually catch up to us.
Emotionally, mentally, physically, and socially, we have formed an attachment to SDBs that keeps them around. But how do you rid yourself of something that feels so much a part of you that ridding yourself of it would feel like cutting off a limb or giving up one of your organs?
Without our coping mechanisms, we are conned into believing we are nothing, like children standing naked in the forest, surrounded by hungry lions. To remove the addictive patterns of defeat would be like tearing down the walls of uncertainty, leaving us vulnerable and without any support system.
It is the fear that, even if you do rid yourself of the self-defeating behaviors that have protected you for so long, you won’t be able to handle life when it throws you a new problem. In that situation, you look for something to help you through it, and that might be an addiction, a new relationship, or an outburst of sudden, violent anger.
Self-defeating behaviors win because we have concluded that although we can’t live with them, we certainly can’t live without them.
These patterns of chaos threaten to take away everything we hope to gain, detaining our best efforts and throwing a dark blanket of doubt, insecurity, low self-esteem and helplessness over any chance for success. Doing battle with the demons hibernating within is not a war that most people are willing to engage in.
We would rather face hunger or a torture rack than have to deal with the enemy that lives inside. But this is where the real healing begins, and only those with the determination to rise up again and again will be able to face the darker parts of themselves and the obstacles and fears blocking their path to healing and recovery.
Taking Back Control
The nature of our negative behaviors is control. As long as they are in control, you are not. SDBs, once they’ve established a pattern of habits, burrow deep within the conscious mind and stay there until called for. Without realizing it, these patterns of self-defeat take total control of our lives.
We know something isn’t right, but we just can’t seem to point out what it could be. SDBs are well versed in manipulating the mind; they disguise themselves in dark shadows of fear and self-doubt, twisting reality into so many variations that you can no longer separate the truth from the lie.
It is here where you need to take a stand. It is time to step up and gain control of your life. You are not a victim of circumstances; you are the creator of circumstances. You are not a weak individual, but someone with great strength and unlimited potential for achieving great things.
Your self-defeating behaviors do not own you or control you. Once you decide to take affirmative action, SDBs start to lose their power over you and eventually wither away. The challenges ahead are not on an easy path to follow. To achieve this goal, it takes commitment, a desire to recover, and a willingness to go to any lengths necessary.
Knowing your true self begins with confronting the dark shadows of unresolved painful issues. The road to hell is a personal struggle with the defects of a flawed character. Throughout the course of your lifetime, you will face your self-defeating behaviors and deep character flaws so you can become the person you always dreamed about. By confronting your worst demons, you will be successful in overcoming your SDBs.
You must take a stand against the barriers that hold you back. To smash through the roadblocks and obstacles of your worst fears is to rise to a new level of mental, emotional, and spiritual perfection.
You don’t have to be a victim of past events or suffer the cycle of defeat that has corrupted your way of life. You have the resources to fight back! You have everything you need to get anything you want. It is time to expose your lies to the truth. It is time to be free.
“Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all, other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.”
— Jeffrey Gitomer
SDBs appear to save the day but are, in fact, the villains of a much darker truth—a truth that conceals an even darker wall of lies. The more you feed into your behaviors of defeat, the taller the walls around your world are. These behaviors get you to buy into the idea that if you want to feel better about yourself, this is the easiest and most reliable path to take.
Once you make a pact with your self-defeating behavior of choice, you have entered into a contract with a double-edged blade. On the one side, a self-defeating behavior provides the necessary means to escape or avoid painful situations. It removes you from reality and replaces it with a false sense of security. It provides what you need in the beginning and wraps its victim—you—in a protective blanket of illusion.
When the day comes that you no longer benefit from or see the need for such behaviors to continue, you will realize they are not going to leave so easily, certainly not after you have invested so much of your time and energy into their growth.
The problem is, however, that self-defeating behaviors can only offer you a short-term fix, but they have a long-life cycle, stretching over the course of your life for years and even decades, keeping you blocked off from achieving your true potential and burying the truth underneath a mountain of lies and false beliefs.
We live in a quick-fix world that focuses on short-term solutions. In an attempt to deal with the pain of life through weak coping mechanisms, society has built up a dependency on alternate sources to get through the crises of life. Our world has become addicted to the temporary fix instead of focusing on long-term solutions that last.
The Nature of the Beast
A self-defeating behavior, whether or not it is an addiction or a mental ailment brought on by high, developed stress, has the unique ability to hibernate—it will transform itself from one form to another through adopting various behaviors and lay dormant in order to avoid being detected.
When called upon, it will rise to the occasion and take action. The inevitable result in the long run can only be a deeper failure beyond the realm of anything you have ever experienced. Believe me when I tell you that the pain that you avoid today will only magnify itself over time.
I can tell you this: the only path to freedom is the path through hell. Self-defeating behaviors are but symptoms of the problems we have and failing to
address them is to fail completely.
Everyone is attached to at least one behavior that defeats them on a continual basis. Whether you are aware of it or not, you have at least one obstacle in your life, even if it is a subtle one, hindering your mental and spiritual growth and feeding your actions and choices with negative influence. Self-defeat focuses on the moment and provides just enough relief to keep us coming back for more.
It becomes like a drug, and the more of it you use, the more of it you need to keep getting the results required to survive the moment. It becomes a mad circle of unhealthy patterns, a crazed merry-go-round that never stops long enough for you to escape.
It is the nature of the beast to keep you on the ride as long as possible, providing no way out and blocking all roads to recovery.
The Four Levels of
Self-defeat
“Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.”
— Orison Swett Marden
In order to recognize the behaviors defeating you, you need to understand how they take control of our lives. The four levels described here are: fear, procrastination, perfection, and addiction.
Fear: The First Obstacle of Defeat
A set of self-created fantasies, consisting of the worst-case scenarios imaginable, believed to be coming true.
Our fears are self-created prophecies of doom and gloom appearing to us as real-life situations. They are false perceptions of reality that paint a grim picture of how we believe the future will turn out, and when we believe in these fears, they become real.