by Scott Allan
Treat people with respect and admiration. Trust them to do the tasks you clearly define. These are the keys to maintaining a successful career, family environment, or business.
The Time Investor’s
Twenty-Three-Point Checklist
Now here is a final checklist you can use to stay focused on what matters most.
Place priority matters first.
Say no to distractions. Use the Self-Control app.
Prepare a daily/weekly/monthly priority action list, and then work to achieve your goals one goal at a time.
Focus on just one thing until done.
Spend ten minutes a day decluttering your home. Get rid of one thing a day through recycling or giving it away to someone who needs it.
Create a well-balanced lifestyle: focus on the vital areas of family and relationship matters, hobbies and interests, money management, spiritual development, learning, and professional development.
Invest time into the people that matter most.
Say no more often to the small stuff that demands your immediate attention.
Use a calendar. Schedule everything using the 168 time-blocking technique.
Be diligent about your schedule and deadlines.
Do not steal time from others through creating unnecessary problems.
Remember that time is money and having more money can buy you the time to do what you most desire to do.
Avoid excessive channel surfing or excessive TV watching, two of the biggest time wasters. Schedule your internet and TV time and limit the amount you consume.
Take the time to think things through and be mindful of the moments.
Invest in learning as much as you can about time and money management.
Practice the habit of ten-minute focused concentration. Set a timer and focus your energy into something for ten minutes.
Focus on the quality of your projects and not the quantity. Wake up half an hour early and get to work on your most important task.
Break your work into twenty-five-minute chunks.
Break big projects into small, incremental tasks. Work on one task until finished.
Monitor your time spent on a project or task. You can use the Egg Timer.
Delegate the work to people that can do it better and faster than you.
Prepare your “must-do” list every night for the next day.
Don’t waste your time in pointless banter or complaining sessions.
SECTION III:
The Master of Mentoring
and Leadership
“In every art, beginners must start with models of those who have practiced the same art before them. And it is not only a matter of looking at the drawings, paintings, musical compositions, and poems that have been and are being created; it is a matter of being drawn into the individual work of art, of realizing that it has been made by a real human being and trying to discover the secret of its creation.”
— Ruth Whitman
You, the Mentor
“Leaders should influence others. In such a way that it builds people up, encourages and educates them so they can duplicate this attitude in others.”
— Bob Goshen
Mentoring is the journey of two people working together to achieve a significant goal or mission. As a mentor, your purpose for taking on this role is based largely on the needs and goals of the mentee. But for the most part, the purpose may be to work through a particular trial in life, to help someone achieve a lifelong goal, or to provide companionship and support for someone who needs it.
Here I am giving you a simple program to get started on your mentoring journey. Now, before we begin, you might think mentoring is not for you or you may not like leading people. But actually, we all do some form of mentoring in some area of our lives. If you are a parent, you want to be a role model (mentor) for your kids. If you coach sports, you are a mentor.
If you are a manager at work, you are filling the role of a mentor. Only, we disguise the word mentor with parent, teacher, or boss and, in many cases, we perform the role without asking for it. You may have thought you were given a choice to mentor or not. But that’s not always the case.
Again, regardless if you are in charge of a classroom, people at work, or you just want to make a difference in someone’s life by showing them the way to leading a better one, knowing how to reach people and help them on this journey is a privilege and not a duty.
So, here we are: You, The Mentor.
There are mentors for every area of life. You could be the person in someone’s life who helps them overcome challenges and succeed. When they fall and need help getting back into the race, you could be the one to run with them toward the finish line.
If you are ready to make a difference and help others transform their lives, it is time to become a mentor. This is the road to leadership that anyone with willingness can practice.
The Need for a Mentor
Millions of people in the world today are grappling to gain control of the ongoing cycles of change occurring in their lives. We find ourselves lost in a bitter struggle against ourselves, in a growing epidemic of people who have taken up arms against the disappointment of life’s false promises.
We are barely able to keep up with the ever-increasing demands surrounding us as we struggle to have more and be more when all we really want is to live more.
Too many people are lost in confusion: failed dreams; relationships that promise too much and then wither; deep feelings of discontentment, restlessness, and anxiety; and a lack of strong character values that has led to an even deeper lack of purpose in life.
People are discovering that after a life of chasing success and obtaining all the material goods they could possibly imagine, it wasn’t what they really wanted in the first place.
Many of us came to the end of the road only to discover it was a dead end all along.
People are discovering that they just want to be better people, to be of service to the community and to each other, and to possess the valuable character traits that speak the truth about who they really are.
It is a revelation to discover that the map we have been following has been misleading. It has taken us down a different path than we originally intended, with a road full of lesser promises and ambiguity. Now we are like children lost in the deep woods of life without a compass and with nobody to guide us out of the darkness.
Life has become a race without a winner—a race of futility to make more money, have more time, prosper, be educated and find gainful employment, get married, raise a family, buy a home, and make it to retirement with enough to survive the remaining years of our lives. In the race to obtain more, we have become less.
Our lives are shrinking as we lose touch with who we really are and the things that really matter. The person you see in the mirror may not be the person you imagined yourself becoming.
As we move into an age of new awareness, people are becoming more conscious of their real needs. They want more than just fancy job titles, unfulfilling tasks, or designer clothes and fancy cars that promise to define their character.
People today are seeking something of greater significance, to develop a clearer sense of direction and a higher sense of self by defining who they want to be.
We are gradually awakening to the idea that hidden treasures of abundance have yet to be discovered. We want more than to survive; we want to be a part of the world, to build it, and to make a positive contribution that will have a profound impact on the lives of others.
In short, people are searching for a dream, a grander vision, a greater purpose, and—more than anything—they want help to obtain it.
“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”
— John C. Maxwell
This is where mentoring plays a dominant role in the development of our people and the world in which we live. I truly believe that a mentoring partnership with another person is the direct path to all of these things and
more.
The fact is, most of the people you know—at work, your friends, or even within your own household—rarely see the real you. They see what you want them to see and depending on your role in the relationship or level of trust and honesty, people are only getting a glimpse of the real you, just enough to keep them satisfied and feel safe.
The mentoring relationship is an opportunity to take on a new role in life; it is a chance to participate in the growth and development of another person through working together to build a positive relationship. You are providing a valuable service to people so they might benefit and grow from your experiences and wisdom.
It is a journey without end, and it begins the moment you decide to make a difference through this dedication to a good cause.
Building the Mentoring Partnership
“Self-esteem is a huge piece of my work. You have to believe it's possible and believe in yourself. Because after you’ve decided what you want, you have to believe it’s possible, and possible for you, not just for other people. Then you need to seek out models, mentors, and coaches.”
— Jack Canfield
The development of a mentoring program with another person gives you the chance to have a one-on-one relationship built on trust and open honesty. The mentor and mentee discuss life on a variety of subjects, sometimes touching on very intimate matters that we would never risk discussing with even our closest friends or family.
By becoming a mentor, you are taking up an oath to support, encourage, and help others discover the magnificent qualities within themselves. Where there is a lack of purpose, you help the client realize their role in life through discovering what they were put on this Earth to do.
The question still asked by many is, “Why do I need a mentor?” First of all, nobody needs a mentor, just as it’s not absolutely necessary to become a mentor. If you feel it is something that you have to do but your heart is not in it, I would recommend another course of action. If you are passionate about becoming a mentor, then your life and the lives of those you touch will grow exponentially.
Nothing compares to the way you feel when you make a positive contribution to someone else’s quality of life. By helping one person, you may be helping others your mentee interacts with.
Helping People Get What They Want
Ask yourself: What does this person want the most, and how can I help them get it? This is the beginning of a great discovery. From this moment on, when you commit to helping people get what they want, you are not only giving them something, you are also pursuing your own success. It is a win-win situation.
If you want to get what you want someday, first figure out how to get it for other people. If you can do this, you will never again have to worry about the future.
The foundation for living successfully is to learn the principles of building a good life, not only for yourself but first for other people.
The mentor’s purpose displaces the old way of thinking. There are people out there, people just like you, who want to pass on what they know, to build in others what they want to create in themselves. These are the people we want to discover.
One of the primary purposes for becoming a mentor is to help another become a mentor and a leader. This transformation is only possible if the mentor is clear about the responsibilities they have, as well as the role they play in portraying the part of a mentor-leader who is devoted to following a path of excellence.
Defining the Mentoring Relationship
The mentoring relationship experience is different for everyone. A mentor is best defined as a transformational leader, a person who nurtures the personal development within an individual or a group of people.
A mentor helps people overcome heavy obstacles in life that they otherwise could not remove themselves, as well as aiding when necessary through advice, suggestions, and asking direct questions to elicit responses.
This path leads to a source of personal empowerment through working with other people. Over time the mentee builds a higher level of confidence through the consistent support and encouragement of a mentor.
This happens within the positive boundaries and depths of a relationship where two people are presented with a unique opportunity to do some real growing together. The relationship makes a huge difference in the quality of a person’s life, and by working together toward similar goals, both partners benefit from sharing their experiences with each other.
“The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.”
— Steven Spielberg
The goal of a mentoring partnership is building a relationship. It’s not about business, money, or politics; it’s about forming a lasting transformation through sharing ideas, thoughts, and feelings as the mentor passes on what they know to the next person that will carry on the message to future generations.
A mentor is someone who is passionate and enthusiastic about the role, and if the mentee picks up on this, they respond to the mentor’s enthusiasm, opening up a high level of trust that allows the relationship to flow and expand further.
Mentoring is a unique blend of a deep, personal friendship, mutual growth, and an open and honest channel of communication with another human being through a discussion of issues surrounding both lives. Mentors are leaders who exhibit the changes they want to see in others.
A good mentor helps another person learn to tap in to their true potential for achieving higher levels of success. From business to family, and in relationships that evolve to form a solid partnership, a spiritual transition occurs.
Many people never try anything new or unique, not because they are incapable, but because they lack the support and encouragement to stand up and face their greatest enemy: themselves.
Mentoring is a solid investment with unlimited returns and maximum potential. By sharing knowledge and vision, we help others build visions of their own, creating their own successes, and in turn, they show others how to do the same.
The mentor who demonstrates patience, perseverance, and discipline realizes that not everybody evolves at the same pace emotionally or spiritually. As a mentor, understand that people take time to grow and that growth is often a painful, time-consuming process.
However, the results of these growing pains are astounding and contribute to the development of future generations to come. A mentee will shine when they are ready to show you who they are. When this day arrives, you will realize all the moments you invested in this person were well worth it.
Remember that you become what you give away to another. If you give only a small part of yourself, only that small part will grow and mature. You must share yourself completely and give as much as you can in order for people to grow and learn from your wealth of experience and sincerity.
Mentoring: Do You Have
What It Takes?
“My mentor said, ‘Let’s go do it,’ not ‘You go do it.’ How powerful when someone says, ‘Let’s!’”
— Jim Rohn
Mentoring is not a game of psychology or curing someone from any form of mental illness. We leave those jobs for the professionals.
The only qualification you must possess in order to do this effectively, and with the deepest impact, is to mentor people with sincere honesty and good intentions.
But, Where Do I Begin? What Do I Need to Know?
Mentoring is about service and how willing and humble you are to do for others what you would not even do for yourself. To perform this service effectively, you must possess a balance of humility and strong personal values.
In addition, you must have excellent listening skills and experience that relates to the mentee, as well as a passion and love for supporting the growth of another individual without expectations or personal gain.
The focus is on the mentoring apprentice/partner, accepting this person as a whole, and helping them to get from where they are to where they want to be.
What
Kind of Special Training Is Required?
You do not need special training to become a mentor; believing otherwise is a common misconception. All you need is a burning desire to help others. The only training, special skills, or knowledge required is what you already have with you: a lifetime of experience!
Yes, your experience is 80 percent of your training and you already have enough of it to begin mentoring today. It is your chance to help others begin the most exciting journey of their lives.
The best form of training is just doing it! Learn as you go. Show the mentee that you are not an expert or a know-it-all in the art of mentoring. You are just like them, and your goal is to help both of you succeed through a mutual partnership of friendship, trust, and commitment to a very special relationship.
Every mentor needs four basic qualifications:
A passion for service in helping others to grow and succeed
An investment of your time, as well as a solid commitment to the individual
A desire to raise others up with the purpose of helping them to discover their true potential; the mentor’s business is the development of people
Good intentions: This is a genuine care/concern for others and a willingness to express empathy and patience
Focus on these, and you will be of great service to the people you are mentoring. See if you can add to this list by developing your own mentoring program for success.
The Mentor Responsibility
One of the primary purposes for becoming a mentor is to help another become a mentor and a leader. This transformation is only possible if the mentor is clear about the responsibilities they have, as well as the role they play in portraying the part of a mentor-leader who is devoted to following a path of excellence.