Lifestyle Mastery Boxed Set

by Scott Allan

  I lack the education and knowledge to be successful.

  An expensive education from a prestigious university does not guarantee instant success. You still have to work at it. For years I believed that a lack of education or having extensive knowledge was an obstacle for me, until I remembered that Albert Einstein never finished high school, yet he changed the world with his vision, theories, and ideas. It is not a lack of education that causes great failures. It is a lack of imagination.

  I was brought up to be ordinary.

  It is perfectly acceptable to be ordinary. In a sense, we all are just trying to do our best with what we have. When you come to realize your life’s purpose, you have an opportunity to become more than just ordinary. You can do great things, but still do them in an ordinary fashion.

  How you were raised only influences outcomes to a point. You make the decision as to whether or not you want to do things the way you were trained to do them.

  People who have achieved great things are still ordinary people. They are just ordinary people who accomplished great things because they committed to mastering their craft.

  I have no time for my dreams.

  If you have no time for dreams, what do you have time for?

  It’s all been done before.

  Great discoveries have been made over the last few decades that have challenged the human imagination in ways never dreamed possible a hundred years ago. It is also true that great ideas are explored every day, and sometimes we lose faith in our ideas or planning because we fear someone else already got there first.

  However, it hasn’t all been done before or we would be living in a world without any growing needs. The world is still in need of new ideas and visions. Sometimes these ideas build upon what has already been created, and other times a new door is opened leading to future innovative ideas and dynamic pathways.

  Develop a Steve Jobs Attitude:

  The New Challenge Approach

  “For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

  — Steve Jobs

  When legendary innovator Steve Jobs approached his engineers with the design for one of his products, he was met with repeated skepticism and told again and again that it couldn’t be done. But Jobs had a different approach to everything. He knew that if you could imagine it, it could be done.

  Jobs willed his creative imagination into existence because he knew anything he wanted that didn’t yet exist could be his if he wanted it enough. Despite the resistance he faced, Steve Jobs became one of the world’s greatest innovators. He accepted no excuses, not from himself or from the hundreds of people who worked for him.

  I call this the Steve Jobs approach. Anything is possible, and if you put aside the fear and doubt, you will push yourself to the next level. As you rise up, you will bring those who believe in you along for the journey.

  It is an amazing thing to conquer one’s weaknesses, and better yet, to watch others around you rise up to reach their greatest potential and evolve. Once you decide it’s possible, you carve out a new path for yourself.

  Applying the New Challenge Approach

  Decide right now that you are going to adopt a new challenge approach to every tough obstacle, situation, or problem. Refuse to pass it off on someone else or ignore it. You could be facing a great challenge that will turn into your biggest achievement.

  Just as Steve Jobs did, hold yourself to the highest possible standards and do not step down, give in, or give up for any reason. Do not let fear overtake you. Do not live below your potential. Always leap for the next plateau. If you leap with faith, you will make the impossible a reality.

  No matter what others might say, if the world’s greatest creative visionaries followed through on listening to the rest of the world’s doubts, we would still be traveling by horse and buggy and reading books by candlelight. What challenges are you going to take from this day forward? Will you hesitate and give up, or will you fight for what you believe in?

  You have the power to choose and be anything you want to be. Dig in. Work hard. Get enthusiastic about living life your way. Seek to inject passion into doing what you love. Take affirmative action where you know you can make a difference. You might fail, but don’t allow yourself to be defeated. Keep pushing forward until you have built your dreams from a simple idea into your vision of a new reality.

  Once your excuses are removed, you will realize through careful observation that those with no money have the opportunity to make a fortune and become richer than those already in possession of great wealth. Men and women with little training or education can excel and become more in demand than those with years of experience.

  People born destitute, handicapped, and with seemingly very few resources can make a larger difference in the world than those who already have riches. In the end, it’s not the amount of wealth that makes people rich but having a wealthy attitude.

  Try new things and give yourself permission to fail. If you don’t succeed at something the first time, try doing it a different way. One of the skills of mastery is discovering the ways that don’t work so that you can develop better methods. Every time you get results you don’t want, keep shifting your game plan.

  Make the necessary adjustments again and again until you get it right. When you find yourself drifting off course, make corrections until you reach your destination. Remember, if Thomas Edison could fail over 10,000 times, you and we can afford to do it at least once.

  Action Plan

  On a sheet of paper, make a list of the excuses you use to avoid living the life you want. How do these excuses benefit you? What do you have to gain by reasoning with your excuses.

  What are your fears? How can you start to work on overcoming these fears? Write down your top five fears. Now, next to each fear, write down two actions you can take to try to overcome them.

  On a sheet of paper, put a line down the middle of the page. In the left-hand column, write down ten to fifteen excuses you have used in the past to avoid doing something. In the right-hand column, write down the actions you plan to use to fight back. These are your new weapons against excuses that have been holding you back.

  What is your biggest failure? How did it make you feel? What did you learn from it? Has it stopped you from taking greater risks? If so, how can you turn this failure into a positive experience?

  How are you going to apply the new challenge approach to make serious changes in your life? Write down a great idea or a change you want to make, and then apply the new challenge approach to make it happen.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Building a Life Beyond

  Fear

  “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’”

  — Eleanor Roosevelt

  Fear. Why is fear such a powerful force in our lives? Some people face their fears and do incredible things, while others find themselves unable to. Ask yourself why you are afraid. What makes you shrink away from following your dreams?

  We are all afraid to a certain degree. We can’t remove our fears, we can only work with them and seek the best solutions to removing them. Fear is a part of our lives. If you feel ashamed or embarrassed because you’re afraid, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you can do something about it.

  Will you stay afraid and let it run your life? Sadly, many do this and they end up miserable and filled with uncertainty. They walk around empty and vulnerable, worried about what the future will bring.

  When fear dictates how you feel emotionally, and it stops you from doing what you truly desire, you are at the breaking point of decision. It’s the moment that chan
ges everything. You can decide right now to empower your life or live disempowered and scared.

  We must move beyond fear if we are to succeed. If you’re trapped in a fearful lifestyle of procrastination, self-perpetuating lies about who you are, or working a job you hate because you are afraid of failing, you are sealing your fate. You will get older and one day it will be too late. You’ll realize all the opportunities you could have had are gone.

  Don’t let that happen, my friends.

  Life beyond fear means thinking and doing even when you are scared. The time is now and not tomorrow. I spent many years talking about the things I’d do tomorrow, but when tomorrow came, I was doing something else. Tomorrow never arrives because it is always one day ahead. You only have today, and what you do with it is up to you.

  But just remember that it’s not your fear that’s in the way. It is your own mind interfering. Your mind is telling you to ignore the risks because you might lose. Don’t make any effort because you might fail at it. Don’t ask for what you really want because you might get rejected and you’ll be humiliated. Don’t quit your job and do the work you love because you’ve had this job forever and you might fail.

  Fear can be a powerful motivator. It motivates you to do something about your situation. It can also serve as your worst inhibitor by keeping you scared. The difference is made by how you perceive this fear.

  Will you use it to leverage your actions, or will you allow it to hold you back?

  Fear is communicated to our subconscious minds. But how do we gain perspective? How do we remove these fears? How can we live an empowered life if we can’t gain power over our fears?

  Breaking the Barrier of Fear

  “Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the

  voices of our loved ones.”

  — Thich Nhat Hanh

  We know this life can be so much more than it is. We decide the path we want to take. By making a conscious choice, we can change everything in an instant. We know our fears are the barriers to everything we’ve ever wanted.

  Imagine yourself standing on one side of a rapid river, while everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side: people you love, or things you’ve always wanted to buy but never could. Maybe you want to own your own home. What would your life be like if you could get to the other side? Imagine the possibilities. Visualize yourself on the other side of that river.

  There is risk involved. Very few have crossed this river. Many failed. You can stay where you are and live a life empty of passion. You will be unhappy, but at least you’ll be safe on your side of the river. Or you can take a chance and risk it all. Jump in and start swimming.

  To get where you want to be, you have to cross the river and risk getting swept away. You dip your foot in. Sensing the violent waters, you pull back. Then you think for a long time about whether you should or shouldn’t.

  This time, you go in up to your knees and you’re pushing your fear away for a few seconds. You are pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. You almost go all the way in, but then you pull back.

  Now you have a taste of courage. Five minutes ago, you were terrified to go near the water. Now you’ve gone in up to your knees. What if you pushed further?

  How can you get to the other side? To live an empowered life, you have to find a way. If you stay where you are, living within your safety zone and refusing to get your feet wet, don’t complain when things fail to go the way you expected. By not taking action, you are making a choice.

  It is a choice to accept your current situation as it is. It is a choice to stay where you are, feeling unfulfilled and restless. Meanwhile, your heart has a deeper longing to be on the other side of the river.

  We can break this down to a simple choice. You can take the steps necessary by jumping into the river and swimming as hard and fast as you can. This doesn’t mean you will make it. You could get swept downstream and fail. But you can always try again and again.

  The fear of what might happen if you fail is keeping you stuck. You can take action in two ways. You can jump in and give it all you’ve got. This works for a lot of people because it allows them to commit completely.

  You can also take small steps, test the water, and emerge from your safety zone gradually. Then, when you’re ready, leap. If massive action is not your style, take small steps and start building momentum.

  The man who jumps into the river knows that he can barely swim, but the risk of staying put is equally terrifying. He makes it to the halfway mark and then he gets into trouble. The water is stronger than he anticipated. He has a chance to turn back and return to the shore.

  But as he looks back, he sees for the first time all the things that made him unhappy. A bad relationship, a job he wanted to quit, negative people who were holding him back, old fears, habits and addictions.

  We have all been there—that moment of decision when everything could change. You might have decided to stay where you were at times, or perhaps you engaged in negative self-talk. You might have kept a bad habit that was destroying you, and you had to either surrender or persevere and push ahead.

  As Tony Robbins said:

  “It is in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.”

  Imagine that you’re hanging on to a branch in the middle of the rapids. You know you won’t last much longer and you only have two choices. You can try to make it back to the shore you came from, or you can let go and try to make it to the other side. It comes down to three basic questions:

  What are you really afraid of?

  What is it about taking action that scares you so much that you are willing to suffer for it?

  What price are you willing to pay to hold onto this fear?

  In other words, if you are willing to tolerate your situation and everything that makes you unhappy, you can stay where you are. You may not live an empowered life, but on the other hand, you won’t have to risk failure, embarrassment or losing to your ego.

  Misery is cheap and anyone can afford it if they want it.

  This brings us to the last question: How scared are you of staying where you are?

  Are you stuck in a job that only pays minimum wage?

  Are you overweight or out of shape?

  Are you heavily in debt?

  Do you spend time with people who are holding you back?

  When you’re stuck in the middle of the river, contemplating whether or not to push on, ask yourself what you have to lose.

  What are you afraid of giving up? What fears are you facing?

  Here is a list:

  The fear of rejection

  The fear of failure

  The fear of humiliation

  The fear of loss

  The fear of the unknown

  The fear of not measuring up (or the fear of disappointment and inadequacy)

  The fear of criticism

  You may have all these fears or just one of them. Regardless, we are going to break this down into a step-by-step process. By following this process, you can muster up the will to act.

  Living your life beyond fear doesn’t mean not having fear. We will always experience fear when our comfort zones are challenged or we are facing a crisis. What matters is how we react when fear is moving in strong.

  Let Fear Go

  “When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”

  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Do you know what scares you? Is it public speaking? Talking to people you don’t know? Discussing your feelings?

  You can only confront your fears if you know what they are. You might be not be aware of this, but most of us g
o through our days trying to stay safe and avoid challenges. Unless we are forced to confront something, we procrastinate. But it is embracing fear that pushes us to grow.

  All of us have massive potential, but we often fall short of it. Do you know why? We get to a point in life when we stop pursuing the challenge of breaking through our fears. Instead, we run for cover.

  I encourage you to identify your fears. Be honest with yourself. “I am afraid of this.” But do you know why?

  This is the second step. It is one thing to identify what scares you, but you have to know why you’re frightened by this. Let’s use public speaking as an example. Most people shake when they get on stage. I know I do, and it used to be really bad. My voice would crack, and I had a pounding in my ears from all the blood rushing to my head. I nearly passed out once.

  Then I asked myself, “Why am I afraid?” The answers were obvious. I had always feared being rejected and vulnerable. I had a lot of shame and I was afraid people could see right through me. That would mean they knew all my secrets.

  I was afraid on stage because I had a lot of fear inside. My mind would scream:

  “What if they can tell I’m a fake?”

  “What if they boo me off?”

  “What if I’m wrong or I make a mistake and forget what I’m talking about?”

  What it came down to was the fear of being judged, criticized and discovered. When I could admit why I was afraid, I could turn it off. Exposing your fear means managing it.

  Now, here are three strategies to help you break the fear keeping you scared.

  Stop believing in your fears.

  When we believe that our fears are greater than we are, it makes them larger than life. Our fears are not bigger than we are but, believing that they can defeat us, adds weight to the illusion of fear. Throughout this book I discussed several anecdotes to overcoming our fears and doubts and, to keep fear in perspective, we need to look at this way.