Buoyed up, she made lunch for her and Charlie, played a couple of games with him, then sat him back in front of the TV and wrote her CV and letter on the computer. She read them over several times and emailed them off to Otago.
Done.
She sat back in the chair, relieved to at last have something solid to look forward to. She’d probably have to fly down to Dunedin to interview. Maybe Toby would look after Charlie while she did that? She wondered what he was going to say about the possibility of her moving farther away. Surely it didn’t matter where she was in the country if they were going to have to fly to see each other? It only added another hour to the flight from the Northland.
Anyway, she couldn’t base her future on what Toby was or wasn’t going to do. Although she hoped he’d play a part in Charlie’s life, she’d learned long ago that she had to make her own plans without relying on anyone else.
She glanced at the clock to see it was three p.m., so she took Charlie into the bedroom and gave him a magazine to read while she got changed. What should she wear? It would be a family dinner, so nothing sultry or revealing. But she probably wouldn’t have time to change later before she went back to Toby’s place for their role-play game.
Even though February had now morphed into March, the afternoons were still warm and sultry. In the end, she chose a floor-length, multi-coloured skirt she’d bought in Christchurch that Toby hadn’t yet seen and a light green vest a shade lighter than her eyes.
She changed Charlie too, putting him into a pair of soft denim shorts and a T-shirt that said Daddy’s Boy on it. Hopefully Toby would consider it a nice touch considering they were going to see his family.
By the time Toby knocked on the door at four o’clock, Charlie was dressed, had had his hair brushed—amidst much complaining—and the rim of chocolate around his mouth had been removed.
Toby swung him up into his arms and exclaimed with delight at his T-shirt. “‘Daddy’s Boy’! You’re not a Daddy’s Boy, are you?”
“Yes!” Charlie squealed as his father blew a raspberry on his neck. “Get off, Daddy!”
The two of them scuffled and growled at each other, and Esther rolled her eyes and went to get her handbag. How odd for Charlie to have a male presence around. She didn’t do the rough-and-tumble thing very well, and although he wasn’t even three, Charlie sometimes overwhelmed her with his energy and boisterousness. But Toby dealt with his enthusiasm with a firm hand, countering any rough play with similarly aggressive physical contact, reminding her of a lion and his cubs. He was wonderful with the boy.
Why did that make her want him so badly? She collected her bag and walked back to the living room, shivering as she watched him manhandle Charlie easily. Toby held him squawking under one arm while he playfully smacked his butt. Was it due to some deep, prehistoric hormonal urge to have an alpha male to dominate the pack? Or was it just because he looked so damned sexy in his tight jeans and blue shirt?
Toby put him on the floor and made a show of trying to walk with Charlie clinging to his leg. “Esther, help! I’ve got a limpet stuck to me.”
“I’m Daddy’s limpey,” Charlie said, arms wrapped tight around his father’s thigh.
She tried to peel him away. “Let go or you’ll cut off his blood flow.”
“We wouldn’t want that,” Toby said. “Blood flow to the crown jewels area is mega-important, boyo.”
She smothered a laugh as she lifted Charlie off. “There. Nicely now.” She held him tightly until he stopped struggling and then put him down.
“You’re so patient,” Toby said. “And you look gorgeous in that top.”
“Thank you.” She straightened and looked into his warm eyes. “You too.”
He held her gaze. Then, clearly liking what he saw, he slipped a hand to the back of her neck and held her there while he kissed her.
She stiffened, taken aback, but his mouth was soft, the kiss gentle, and he tasted of mint. So she closed her eyes and enjoyed it, pressing her hands against his chest.
“Yuck,” Charlie said.
Toby pulled back, gave her a wry look and turned to his son. “It’s not yuck. I’ll show you. Come here—give me a kiss.”
“No!” Charlie belted away from him, and Toby chased him around the room.
Esther sighed and led the way to the front door. She was tempted to let them go through and then shut the door behind them. Especially because she was also nervous about meeting Toby’s brothers. But as she reached the door, Toby skidded up to her on the wooden floor and put his hand on the handle.
“Let me, ma’am.” He opened the door with a flourish and winked at her.
She remembered the role-play they’d chosen and excitement shimmered through her.
“Had you forgotten?” His eyes twinkled. “I’m your slave for the afternoon.”
“I hadn’t forgotten. I fully intend to make the most of it.”
“Ooh, promises, promises.”
“You’ll regret that by the end of the day when I’ve made you sweep the floor and do all the washing.”
“Nothing is too much trouble for my fair lady.” Still, alarm lit his eyes, and she giggled.
“I’m joking.” She picked up Charlie and walked to the door, finishing with a brief, mischievous glance at Toby over her shoulder. “I won’t make you do all the washing. Just my lacy underwear.” She left him standing open mouthed, and walked out to the car with a smirk. That would teach him to tease her—two could play at that game.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Esther had been nervous about meeting Toby’s brothers, although she had to admit, she was also curious. As an only child, sibling relationships had always intrigued her, and she’d wondered how alike he and his brothers were. She’d not yet been able to put her finger on why Toby fascinated her so much, but she wondered whether the other two men would hold the same attraction for her.
Matt Wilkinson was thirty-one and married to Cath with two young children. Shorter than Toby, but with the same dark curly hair and a goatee, he was a doctor, cool, shrewd and possessing a sharp manner she hadn’t seen in Toby in even the minutest amount. He was nice enough to her, welcoming and friendly, but he mocked Toby relentlessly, and she detected a vein of superiority toward his brother that put her back up from the beginning.
Felix, on the other hand, she liked immediately. As tall as Toby and a couple of years older, he was a little more slender and slightly less rugged, and she could easily imagine him in the courtroom, slick in a suit, winning over the jury. But even though he was a lawyer, and once again seemed more cool and calculating than the affable Toby, he had a naughty twinkle in his eye that reminded her of Toby’s teasing manner. He clearly made a fortune judging by his expensive watch and the sleek car he’d parked outside Matt’s house, and yet he was still single, although she knew he must have women falling over themselves to win him over.
To her surprise, however, neither of them made her heart beat faster the way Toby’s did when he caught her gaze with his lovely brown eyes. Why was that? She puzzled the issue as they had tea—pizza for the kids, barbecued chicken and potato salad for the adults with a huge Greek salad complete with olives and feta cheese.
What was it about Toby that rang her bell more than any other guy? There must be something, one character trait or physical characteristic he possessed that the others didn’t, which caused her pulse to race every few minutes as she thought about what they were going to get up to later that evening. If only she could isolate that one trait, she’d know what to look for in future partners.
But she couldn’t put her finger on it. He was gorgeous, but so were both of his brothers, especially Felix. Toby was the most muscular of them all, probably due to his manual job, but both brothers obviously worked out and there wasn’t much in it. He was funny, but both Matt and Felix were probably wittier, on the whole. He wasn’t the cleverest, nor was he the richest.
And yet when he looked across the table at her and gave her that secret
smile that told her he was thinking about what he was going to do to her that night, a thrill went through her, and she had to lower her eyes, a warm flush spreading through her cheeks.
Maybe it was his gentleness that attracted her—the very fact that he wasn’t sharp or cruel. Even when he’d left her at the airport, he hadn’t been cold. With hindsight, she could see he’d just been young, impatient and irritated—he’d had feelings for her and those feelings had scared him, plus he couldn’t think of a way to make it work, so he’d refused to face up to how he felt and walked away. She knew he regretted that decision because he’d tried to contact her. No, he wasn’t cruel, or hard.
Still, he had made the decision to leave her. She mustn’t forget that. How much could a person change? Clearly the fact that he’d walked away, and that he was still single, meant he had trouble committing. She had to keep reminding herself this was just sex, a distraction while she was on holiday. Nothing serious could come out of it. That was why she’d applied for the job in Dunedin.
Charlie played on the grass with Sasha and Jayden, Matt and Cath’s children. Sasha was a typical six-year-old girl and bossed the two boys around with great delight. Jayden ignored her most of the time, but Charlie watched her with wide eyes and did whatever she told him to do, right up to jumping off a box into the paddling pool, where he promptly slipped over and fell on his butt.
Both she and Toby twitched, about to leap to their feet, but Charlie jumped up and down when Sasha squealed with delight at his antics, enjoying every minute of playing the fool.
“So like his father,” Matt said.
“Falling on his ass?” Felix remarked.
Matt grinned. “I meant showing off for the girls, but yeah, now you come to mention it.”
Toby smiled affably as everyone laughed, but Esther wondered whether their comments stung. Did he mind being the butt of everyone’s jokes? Or did it rile him as it riled her? She’d ask him about it later.
Meanwhile, she determined to cheer him up. She caught his eye and waved her glass at him. “Could you get me another drink of lemonade please?” Making sure nobody was looking, she finished by mouthing the word Slave.
His lips curved slowly. “Of course.” He took the glass, refilled it and handed it back to her. “There you go.” Mistress. He mouthed the word.
“Thank you.” She sipped it and winked at him. His hot gaze told her he was thinking about what she might order him to do later that evening.
As the afternoon wore on, she enjoyed herself by continuing to ask him to do things for her. Fetch her cardigan from the car when a light breeze lowered the temperature. Cut her another piece of cake. Sort Charlie out when he needed the bathroom. Carry the dishes in while she stretched out on the lounger. The funny thing was, none of the others mentioned it. Was this what it was like for ordinary couples? She’d never had anyone to ask before to fetch her drinks or do things for her. She decided she could rather grow to like it.
While Matt and Felix played football with the kids and Cath snoozed in the late sun, Esther placed her feet on Toby’s lap and wiggled her toes.
“My feet ache,” she said quietly, so only he could hear her. “Could you massage them please, slave?”
“As my lady demands.” He took them in his big hands and pressed his thumbs into her soles, brushing down to her toes with sensual strokes that soon made her realise her plan was backfiring.
“Mm.” She shifted in the chair, growing aroused at his gentle, sure touch. “Stop.”
He tightened his grip on her ankles, however, refusing to let her go, and she sat still and glared at him. She couldn’t escape without making a fuss and alerting everyone to what they were doing. He stroked up the arches of her feet, slipped his fingers between her toes, stroked up her instep and circled her ankle bone until she shivered all over.
“Toby…”
“What?” He continued to play with her, sending delicious sensations right through her body. She hadn’t realised her feet were so sensitive. Or maybe it was just the thought of how it would feel to have those same hands on her body, arousing her slowly until she thrummed like a guitar string, singing the special song she sang only for him.
The sun came out from behind the clouds and warmed her through, and she closed her eyes and tipped up her face to capture its rays and give herself over to his light, gentle touch. She sank into a kind of sexual trance, and it was only when Matt and Felix walked up to them that she shook herself out of it and pulled her legs away.
Her face flushed. Had they seen her and Toby? Matt went over to his wife and woke her with a kiss, but she could tell from the smile on Felix’s face that he’d observed what they were doing.
He sat opposite them, took a swig from his beer and said, “So, are you two an item?”
“No,” they said together.
“Huh.” His eyes danced, but he didn’t say anything.
Esther’s cheeks burned even more when he exchanged an amused smile with Toby. She stood and asked Matt, “Can I use your bathroom, please?”
“Sure.” He gave her directions to it, and she walked into the house. Why did she get embarrassed so often? She was a grown-up, and what she and Toby chose to do in their own time was nobody else’s business. So why did his teasing smile make her feel like a sixteen-year-old on her first date?
Toby propped his feet on the small wall running around the decking and lowered his sunglasses. Unfortunately, he could still see his brother’s grin.
“Not involved?” Felix said. “Yeah, right.”
“You don’t have to be involved to have sex,” Toby said.
Felix raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”
“It’s a mutual arrangement while she’s here in the Northland. It’s not a thing.”
Felix pointed his beer bottle at him. “It’s totally a thing and you’re kidding yourself if you think it’s not.”
“Bollocks,” Toby said, getting annoyed. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
“To you maybe. She’s got stars in her eyes when she looks at you.”
Toby opened his mouth and then shut it again. Esther had feelings for him? He knew how he felt about her, but it was always so difficult to gauge someone else’s reaction. She liked him, and of course she fancied him. But she’d made it quite clear their current arrangement was purely about sex. She hadn’t had sex for three years—it made sense to him that she’d take the opportunity to sleep with him when they’d had such a great time in bed before. He wasn’t insulted by that fact. He liked to think he was good in bed and he’d done the same thing himself before when sex was being offered.
But still, Felix was implying there was more to it than sexual gratification, and that unnerved him.
“Ah,” Felix said.
“Ah what?” Now he was growing irritable, and he shifted in his seat as Matt and Cath sat back up at the table and listened to the conversation.
Felix’s eyes gleamed. “You’ve got feelings for her too.”
They all stared at him. Toby tipped back his head with a sigh and stared up at the sky for a few moments before returning his gaze to them with exasperation. “She’s the mother of my son. Of course I have feelings for her. I like her. She’s gorgeous. I want to have sex with her. That doesn’t mean it has to be deep and meaningful.”
“Of course it doesn’t,” Matt said. “You don’t do deep and meaningful.”
Toby said nothing as the others laughed. Once, he would have agreed with them. Now, he wasn’t so sure.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“What’s the joke?” Esther rejoined them at the table.
“We were just saying how Toby doesn’t do deep and meaningful,” Cath said.
She met Toby’s gaze. “Oh, I think there’s more to him than meets the eye.” She smiled.
“Nah,” Matt said. “When he was asked in an exam at school ‘Where was the Treaty of Waitangi signed?’ he wrote ‘At the bottom’.”
Felix and Cath burst out laughing. Toby sighed and
nodded his assent, seemingly unembarrassed by the admission.
“That doesn’t mean he’s shallow,” Esther protested, wondering why she felt the need to defend him repeatedly. “He’s actually very thoughtful and insightful.”
Felix raised an eyebrow. “Are we talking about the same brother here?”
She glared at him, annoyed that she was annoyed. He held her gaze, clearly interested in the relationship between her and his brother.
He said something, and she blinked because he’d said it in Latin. Of course, he was a lawyer—he’d be familiar with the basic structure of the language.
It had been a while since she’d studied it, and it took her a moment to translate the words.
“Do you love him?” he’d asked. Toby stared at him, then at her, but she didn’t look at him. She scowled at Felix, but he refused to be stared down. “He is a good man,” she replied carefully, also in Latin.
“He loves you,” he replied.
Her eyes widened and her cheeks grew hot. “Bollocks,” she said in English before she could think better of it.
Matt glanced at Felix with amusement. “There’s your answer.” Of course, the damn doctor had also understood what they were saying.
“I’m sitting right here,” Toby said mildly. “I’m guessing the three of you know how incredibly rude you’ve just been?”
The guys just smiled, but Esther looked down as the conversation continued, knowing he was right. Her stomach tightened in a knot. Damn Felix and his penetrating gaze. He didn’t know what he was talking about. He’d implied there was some kind of romantic involvement going on between her and Toby, and he was completely wide of the mark. Of course she was fond of Toby—he was the father of her child, for heaven’s sake. And she fancied him rotten. That didn’t mean she loved him. She wasn’t going to let herself love him.
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