Not that my brother would ever hit a woman, but she'd overheard some of what he'd said about women and called his stupid ass out on it. Next thing I know, I'm moving us to a table on the other side of the room just to try to keep them from yelling at each other and making a scene.
Shit. I know why Jake's bitter. His ex has been a bitch to him since just after their youngest was born. Even before that it turns out, according to the earful I got from him last week at the bar when he was doing his damnedest to scare me out of marrying Kimberly.
But Brent too?
Damn, man! That was just more than I could take.
Ever since Brent met Kay, he's been head over fucking heels. He's been so into this whole married thing. Like-- I mean yeah, that's why he signed up for a match maker to find him a wife. Brent's always wanted to find a good woman, settle down, start popping out kids. He was that guy who thought every girl he dated was the one.
When he told me he was hiring someone to find him a wife, I wasn't surprised. I wasn't able to help him out with the whole arranged marriage team thing-- but I wasn't surprised he hired a match maker.
Lately though, Brent's been spacing. He's forgetting-- or blowing off-- wedding stuff. Like that tux fitting he missed awhile back. Last week it was a meeting with the DJ that Kay couldn't make it to. He just blew it off to go play golf.
He said he didn't know about it but it was on the wedding calendar-- we all have access to that calendar on our phones so the wedding party won't miss something important that we need to be involved in.
Last week at the bar with Jake, Brent was trying to talk me out of marrying Kim, out of getting married at all.
I've never heard him talk like that. Brent's always the one trying to convince me to commit and settle down. He's always trying to make me see how great life could be if I found the right girl, bought a house, made some babies.
Hearing him talk like he regrets where he is now?
Makes a chill run down my spine every time I think about it.
I can't give the guys all the credit-- or maybe blame is a better word-- for making me think I need to have this talk with Kim. A lot of things factored into it, Brent's change of attitude just sealed the deal.
Of course, as soon as Kim walks into the coffee shop, every thing I've been planning on saying flies right out the fucking window.
Who am I kidding?
She's perfect.
I watch her scan the room looking for me. She looks unusually nervous today and I wonder if she had a bad day at work or if Kay had another break down over the wedding.
She sees me at the table by the window and smiles when I point out that I already have her drink waiting for her.
It's not her usual smile. Her lips curl upward but her eyes don't crinkle behind her glasses.
When she gets closer I notice her jaw tensing and untensing and the way her gray eyes don't hold mine when I greet her.
Suddenly I'm not thinking about all the practical reasons I came up with and I can't remember why I ever thought it was a good idea to take advice from my dumb brother anyway, I just want to fold Kimberly in my arms and hold her till she's smiling again.
"Thanks," she tells me as I slide her coffee across the table. Her voice is soft and low and uncharacteristically timid.
I watch her turn the cup on the tabletop between her fingers as she stares at it thoughtfully.
I went ahead and got it for her when I ordered mine because I know she likes to let it cool down a lot before she'll drink it. It's probably almost the right temperature for her now.
Kim keeps her eyes down as she raises the cup to her lips and takes a test sip. Then she looks around the cafe as she sets the cup back on the table. Her eyes seems to land on everything but me.
I shift uncomfortably in my chair. We haven't known each other for long, but it's funny how I've gotten used to her already. How I already know her facial expressions and, especially, how I'm so used to the way she looks at me.
Her eyes are usually focused on mine. Sometimes I see them wander to watch my hands while I'm talking, or sometimes she lets them travel down the length of my body in a hungry way that never fails to make me forget whatever I was talking about.
She always looks at me like she likes looking at me.
Making it all the more obvious when she refuses to look at me now.
Kim's hands release the cup and I watch her begin to twist her engagement ring on her finger. It's something she's been doing a lot of lately, I've noticed. Right now, she pulls it almost off, so it's loose above her knuckle so she can turn it without it touching her skin.
There's a red ring around her finger where the ring usually sits and I wonder how much twisting it took to cause it.
"Kim," I put my hand out over hers. She slides the ring back into place and turns her hand up so that mine slips easily into place in her palm.
"I think we should take a break," Kim blurts out all at once, finally meeting my eyes.
Her throat works in a hard swallow and her eyes are filled with sadness.
"I just don't think I'm ready for all this," her voice fills with the same sadness that's in her eyes.
What can I say? There's a reason we got matched with each other, I guess.
"Yeah," I answer, taking my hand from hers and fidgeting with my own coffee cup. I'm surprised at the rough sound of my voice, it sounds the way I feel-- like it's being torn apart. "That's kinda why I thought we should talk."
Kim's shoulders drop, tension falling away from her frame and she leans back in her chair.
Finally, the smile on her full, red lips, is one I'm familiar with.
"I was really worried about telling you," she says in that same soft voice, only now it's lost the fear and is full of compassion and a hint of relief. "I've been thinking about it for awhile now and I think maybe I got carried away, you know?"
I nod, smiling tightly, "Yeah I know what you mean."
"It's just that, I've wanted to get married since I was a kid," her smile turns shy, "and I got caught up in all the excitement when Kay got engaged...and maybe I got a little jealous too."
Kim looks up at me sheepishly and gives me an apologetic smirk. "It's just too overwhelming," she tells me as she pulls the ring off her finger, "I guess I'm not ready after all."
"It's too much too fast," I agree as I watch my hand accept the ring she hands me across the table.
"Way too much, way too fast," she echoes.
"Still friends though, right?" Damn I sound like a chump. My heart is thumping like it's trying to escape. Under the table, my foot is bouncing wildly to burn off excess energy that I'd rather use to lunge across the table, throw Kimberly over my shoulder, and carry her off to someplace where I could keep her safe until she understands that she belongs with me.
My damn mouth, on the other hand, insists on continuing this stupid conversation.
Kimberly
When Ryan agreed with me, I was so relieved. It felt so good to know that we were actually feeling the same way and that he wanted to take a break too.
We talked for a long time at the coffee shop, about Kay and Brent and all the stress they were going through just to pull off an average wedding.
We talked about our own reasons for getting caught up in the excitement, for wanting to get married ourselves, for going so far as to hire a professional matchmaker and going through with having her arrange a mate for us.
Thinking about it now, it sounds ridiculous. I can't believe I went that far just because I wanted my own special day too.
I felt great for the first few days. Lighter, freer. It felt good to get Mom and Stacy off my back about the wedding and babies.
Of course, I haven't exactly told them that we broke up. I just told them we canceled the wedding plans for the time being so they'd leave me alone without having to switch gears to sympathy and hearing what a prick Ryan is.
Sometimes they're just too much on my side.
There's no way I could
handle listening to Stacy talk shit about him. Ryan didn't do anything wrong. It was my idea to take a break.
Maybe this was more than I had in mind, but I can't blame Ryan for breaking my heart. This was all my idea.
"How's Rye?" Kay asks nonchalantly as we sit at her dining room table wrapping ribbons around little bags of candy for favors. "I haven't heard you talk about him for awhile."
I shrug. I haven't told Kay anything. She's way too busy with last minute wedding stuff for me to dump my own crap on her.
"More ribbon," I mutter with my hand out. I don't know if it's an attempt to change the subject or not. I kinda don't want to get into it and at the same time I kinda wish I had someone to talk to about it, and I kinda want to know what Ryan's told Brent.
"Brent said Ryan didn't stay for the bachelor party," Kay mentions casually as she hands me another spool of ribbon.
Of course, I know her better than that. She's fishing for info.
My brow furrows at the news though.
"But Ryan's his best man," I point out, "how could he skip the bachelor party? Wasn't he in charge?"
Kay's quiet long enough to make me look up at her. She's sitting perfectly still, and looking at me suspiciously. Then her eyes fall to my hands as I continue tying the ribbon into a bow and one perfectly waxed brow shoots up on her forehead.
"Where's your ring?" The question is equal parts concern and shock.
Shit. Frankly, I'm surprised it took her this long to notice, but there's no getting around it now.
"Took it off," I shrug as nonchalantly as possible while not looking at her at all.
I hear Kay make a sucking noise and I can picture her face in my mind, with her lips pursed together to one side and shaking her head just slightly.
She knows me too well for me to get away with the vague answer.
"Hmm," she muses.
I'm surprised she doesn't launch into an interrogation right away. Instead, she leaves it hanging between us as she goes back to her ribbon tying in silence.
"We broke up," I eventually mumble when the silent accusation is too much for me to take any longer.
"What?" Kay drops her project on the table and turns her chair to face me, "Spill! What the fuck happened?"
From her tone I can tell she automatically assumes it must have been Ryan's idea.
"Calm down," I tell her, "it was me, Kay, I broke it off with him."
Well at least she's not on a mission to call Brent and have him chew his best man out on my behalf, but she's looking at me like she's never seen me before.
"Kimmie, why would you do that?" Kay tilts her head to one side, making her look a little like a confused Cocker Spaniel. "You guys are perfect for each other, I thought you were in love with Ryan?"
Oh boy. There's that whole love thing again.
My stomach knots painfully and a wave of nausea washes through me. I seriously consider whether or not I should run to the bathroom to throw up but I manage to swallow it down before answering her.
"Kay, we've known each other for a month. How can we be in love already?"
Kay studies me with a look I've never seen on her face before, something wise and mature that makes her look so much more grown up than she acts most of the time, "Well, you guys went through Raven just like Brent and I did. Raven's really good at her job, you know."
I nod. Raven Swann is the best in the business. She's not just a glorified dating service that calls herself a match maker, she really does take her job seriously and she has the testimonials of hundreds of happy couples to prove it.
The fact that I ended up matched with my best friend's fiance's best friend is a bit of a mind fuck. Like, Kay and Brent weren't even on our teams because they were so busy with their own wedding plans.
It's a complete coincidence that we're connected through mutual friends.
"Raven had to know you would have met Ryan on your own through the wedding," Kay thinks aloud, "but your teams couldn't have known that."
It's my turn to hike a brow up my forehead, "What's your point?" I ask tentatively.
"Just wondering," Kay says. "But you seemed like you really liked Ryan, and he sure as hell is into you! Why'd you call it off?"
"It was just too much, Kay," I tell her, silently begging her to understand. "Mom won't shut up about grand babies. I mean, I knew she'd be excited about me getting married and starting a family, but she's over the top. A couple weeks ago she called me from the mall to ask if I'd decided how to decorate the nursery yet."
Kay gives me an appropriately dismayed look and I know she gets what I'm saying.
"You'd think Stace was planning her own wedding, not helping with mine," I add. "When she's not in my face, she's blowing up my phone, trying to get me to go see a bunch of venues I'm not interested in--"
"--And sending you color swatches you don't like, and suggesting brides maid dresses that you hate," Kay interjects.
I grin. "Did I do that to you?" I ask, horrified at the thought that I might have caused my bestie half the grief my sister has caused me.
"Just a little bit, in the very beginning," she tells me with a grin. "It's OK. I knew how bad you wanted your own wedding. You've been collecting pictures of dresses since before I met you."
"Ugh, and when I was planning my wedding for real, none of them were right!" I tell her.
Kay laughs and nods. "Welcome to my hell," she says lightly. "But why break up?" she asks with a frown. "Why not just put off the wedding? Keep dating and get to know each other until you're more comfortable with the decision?"
A new wave of nausea moves through me and suddenly I'm on the verge of tears. I shrug helplessly. "I don't know," I tell her, "that's kinda what I thought too, but then Ryan didn't even argue when I brought it up and next thing I know it was just-- over."
My voice hitches on the words and tears spill down my cheeks.
Kay quickly finds me a box of tissues and hands them to me with a worried look. She's not used to me being the emotional one and, frankly, neither am I.
"Sorry," I tell her through the sniffles, "I don't know what's wrong with me, I didn't think I was that upset about it."
"Sweetie," Kay says as she reaches over to pull me into a hug that only makes me cry harder, "you love him. It's OK to be sad."
I wipe my nose with the tissue and wrap my arms around her while she rubs my back. "But I'm the one who broke it off," I wail through a new onslaught of tears.
Kay's shoulders shake gently under my arms with a light laugh, "That's because you're a goober," she assures me, "and Ryan's an idiot for letting you break up with him. He must be a mess, Kim. That man is head over heels for you."
This news just makes things worse and my tears turn to sobs. "Then why didn't he say so?" I demand as I take my head off Kay's shoulder to blow my nose before I get snot all over her cute blouse.
Kay shakes her head. "Because boys are stupid," she tells me.
Her reason is as good as anything I can think of so I nod and choke on a new wave of sobs even as I can't help but laugh a little too.
Ryan
"What the fuck do you mean you broke up?"
Jake pulls pulls his head out from under the hood of the Chevelle and glares at me.
"Kim's the best thing that's ever going to happen to you, man, why would you let her just walk away like that?"
Jake makes a motion with his hand for me to turn the key even though he's still yelling at me.
I twist the key in the ignition and we wait for the engine to roar to life. Which it doesn't. Not that either of us are particularly surprised by the old car's lack of cooperation. My brother picked it up for a couple hundred bucks right after his divorce and it's been sitting in his garage ever since.
I think this is the first time he's ever actually worked on getting it running and I'd wonder what has him suddenly interested in the project if I wasn't so busy with my own shit.
Jake motions at me to turn off the ignition and keep my hands
off the key while he sticks his head back into the mechanics of his prized possession.
What I am surprised by today is how pissed my brother is when I tell him he can lay off all the warnings and shit-talk about marriage...I won't be doing it after all.
After everything he's said about what a trap marriage is and how women change the minute they get the preacher's signature on the license, I thought he'd be the one person I could count on to back me up on this. That's why he's the only person I've mentioned it to so far.
"So you mean to tell me that you paid that match maker chick all that money and put me and the folks through all that bullshit to help her pick out a fucking wife for you and you bailed as soon as things got a little stressful?" Jake scolds from under the hood.
"No," I say defensively, "we just realized we weren't ready yet. We both got carried away with Brent and Kay--"
Jake interrupts with a short laugh, standing up and wiping his hands on a rag that probably puts more grease on his hands than takes off them, he shoves the rag in his back pocket and eyes me where I'm sitting in the driver's seat of the car with the door open.
"That was a fucking coincidence, wasn't it?" he asks.
I'm not sure I follow, "What was?"
"Brent and Kay. You and Kim." He says with a half nod of his head like I should understand. "We had no idea, you know. I just want you to know, it's not like anyone knew we were setting up the best man and the maid of honor from the same wedding."
It was definitely something Kim and I had noticed after we met, we thought for sure that Raven had had something to do with that. After a lot of asking around, Kim and I were finally convinced that the people who made the ultimate decision for us had no idea how we were connected.
If Raven thought we were a good match because we were both referred by one half of the same couple she never told anyone else.
"Yeah man, I get that," I tell my brother, "What I don't get is why the hell you're so bent about us calling it off? You've been nothing but down on marriage since you and Jen split. You gave me hell for hiring Raven and you haven't shut up about the miserable ever after jokes since I put a ring on Kim's finger. I thought you'd be congratulating me for coming to my senses."
A Lucky Break: A Modern Match-Maker Romance Page 6