by Leddy Harper
“Actually, no. It wasn’t work related, unless you count talking to your brother as work related.” Considering I’d spent so much time at the office since she arrived, she more than likely assumed that was all I did. And to be fair, I did spend a lot of time there, but I wouldn’t have considered myself a workaholic. What she didn’t seem to understand was that between Matt and me, we’d both taken quite a bit of time off lately, and in order to keep our accounting firm from falling apart, we now had to pick up the slack. Which was why I ended up staying at the office until almost midnight her first day in town, and then well past dinner the next night. But this was the weekend, and unless something urgent came up, neither of us would go into the office.
“Oh, yeah? And what did Matthew want?” It was almost as if she called my bluff.
“We’re taking the boat out on the lake today. Weather is supposed to be amazing, so we’re going to pack up a cooler with some beer and sandwiches and spend the day on the water. It’s going to be great.” I gave her the smile I knew she couldn’t resist—because she’d told me so many years ago while she was drunk, and I chose to believe that was the truth.
“Oh!” She perked right up, excitement lilting her tone. Her intoxicating blue eyes brightened and widened, adding to the broad, infectious grin on her perfect lips. As it turned out, I wasn’t the only one with an irresistible smile. “That sounds like so much fun. Is Christine going, too?”
“Yeah. And I think Rachel and Steve might, as well, but only if your parents can watch Kennedy,” I said, adding in that her youngest sister would be joining us. “Your other sisters already have plans, so they won’t be able to go. But they’ll be at dinner tomorrow, so it’s not that big of a deal.”
“When will everyone be ready?”
I knew I had her right where I wanted her. “Soon. I still have to stop by the store and grab some drinks and ice. Matt and Christine said they should be down at the dock in about an hour.”
“Okay, then I’ll make it fast. I already shaved my legs, so I won’t need to do that.” She just had to go and point out how her legs were soft and smooth, making me yearn to touch them just to see if she was right. And once again, I had her legs on my brain—so creamy and soft…and long.
She made it halfway down the hall before I managed to snap out of it and say, “Wait. You’re not going. I have a package being delivered today, so I need you to stay here to sign for it.”
She turned on her heel and met my stare with confusion. “I thought you said we are going out on the boat?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you and me. I meant me and Matt, as well as a few other people.”
“Yeah…my family.”
This was where I had to hone in on my acting skills. I could match her defiance with more defiance. I could meet her moves with alternative ones, and silently call her bluff with bold actions. The one thing I couldn’t handle was seeing her hurt or upset. It was never something I could deal with very well. Which was probably why she always got what she wanted from me. But if I had any desire to get through this, I had to remain strong and ignore the way she yanked on my heartstrings.
“Who also happen to be like family to me, too.”
“But they’re not. They’re not your family, Holden. They’re mine.” She jabbed her finger at her chest and took a step toward me. “And you’re the one who said I need to get closer with them. Isn’t that why you made me move in here? To reconnect with my family? How do you expect me to do that when you won’t include me in things they’re involved in?”
I steeled my expression and took a deep breath. “Jelly,” I said with a sneer, knowing it’d get under her skin. It’s not like I sought to piss her off, but I needed something to replace the feelings of remorse I had toward her, and I couldn’t turn back now. Not after the shit she pulled last night. “The Brewer family is rather large. Aside from your parents, you have your oldest sister, Nikki. She and her husband have three kids, all girls, who I’m sure would love to have some quality time with their cool, young aunt. Then there’s Stacey and Tony with their two kids. Even if Rachel and Steve decide to go out on the boat today, you still have plenty of other family members to bond with. You don’t have to be with me to do that.”
“If I have to stay here to sign for a package, then how do you expect me to see anyone?”
I shrugged as if I hadn’t already thought this out. Unfortunately for her, she left me with lots of thinking time last night to contemplate all kinds of scenarios to run with. “Who knows…maybe UPS will get here early enough for you to spend the rest of the day with one of your sisters or your mom. Or you can always call them. There’s this neat invention called a phone, and it comes in handy when you want to talk to someone without being with them.”
“I know what a phone is, jackass.”
“You sure? Because no one around here heard much from you while you were away, so I just figured you didn’t know you could call and keep in touch.” With my hands on my hips, I hung my head and shook it in mock shame. “I really wish you hadn’t told me the truth. Because now…” I glanced up at her and caught her smoldering attention. “Now I can’t help but think you didn’t reach out to any of us because you didn’t want to. And the only reasons I can come up with are hurtful.”
She closed her eyes and huffed, clearly irritated with my taunting. “Either that or I was busy with classes. You stayed here for college, which made it easier to stay connected to everyone. I was hours away. Don’t judge. And don’t act like you know what was going on—with me or my family.”
“Whatever, Janelle.” I had so much I could’ve come back at her with, but I didn’t want to argue. I wanted her to accept that I had the upper hand so she’d stop fighting and give in. But she seemed determined to block my every move, making it that much harder to stay on top. One thing was for sure, though—I had to stop letting her get to me. “If you want to spend time with your family, do it. This is your house now too, Janelle, so if you want to invite them over, by all means, invite them over. You don’t need my permission to have one of your sisters come here.” I pinned her with a stare, hoping she noticed my genuine disappointment, and then turned to walk away, leaving her with my words to chew on.
“Is this your way of getting back at me for last night?” Her question stalled my retreat and made me glance at her over my shoulder. From the quiver in her voice, I expected to catch her bottom lip trembling, but it wasn’t. Instead, an angered woman stood behind me with her arms crossed over her chest and a fire in her eyes I hadn’t seen in years.
I turned all the way around to face her, to look her square in the eyes and make sure she heard every word I had to say. “Get back at you for what, Janelle? There’s nothing to get back at you for. You went out with your friends. Big deal,” I added with a nonchalant shrug. “If you purposely snuck out to teach me a lesson…I hate to say it, but I didn’t learn anything. Whatever it was you were trying to show me, I didn’t see it.”
“It didn’t make you mad?” And there was her first card, reflected in the shades she thought cleverly shielded the truth in her eyes, but little did she know, it gave far more away than she anticipated.
“Why would it make me mad?”
“Because you said you wanted to go with me, and when I said no, you planned on us staying in.”
“To be honest, I expected you to leave.” And I did. Once I realized she had left while I was in my room changing out of my work clothes, I wasn’t all that surprised. Let down, sure, but not surprised. “I guess I had hoped you wouldn’t, but you did exactly as I anticipated…so again, why would I be mad?”
“Okay, fine. Maybe mad isn’t the right word. Disappointed? Upset? Hurt?”
I licked my lips, and then celebrated in the way her eyes fell to my mouth and followed my tongue. The sight of her breath hitching pumped me full of adrenaline. But I refused to let that deter me from my plight. “Had I not already accepted the fact that you aren’t the same person I once knew
, then yeah. I probably would’ve been disappointed and upset. But you see, you’re not the same. At all. Not even close to being the same Janelle who used to spend her afternoons with me on my couch in front of the TV. You don’t at all resemble the girl who used to give me a run for my money in pop culture trivia. You’re the person I expected to sneak out while I was in my room last night.”
Her chest heaved with labored breathing and her gaze bounced around from one thing to the next. It was obvious her thoughts wouldn’t slow down, and the longer she stood in silence, the more emotional she became. If I didn’t walk away soon, there was a good chance I would cave and offer her comfort against the harsh sting of my words.
And I couldn’t afford to do that.
Janelle would get her divorce just as she’d asked for. I had no problems granting her that. It wasn’t like I wanted her to stay and fall in love with me because I’d spent the last five years plotting out our future or pining for her. I wanted her here for one reason and one reason only, and that was to be a part of her family the way they all needed her to be. But that would never happen if she spent all her time and energy battling me. My hope was that she’d exhaust her efforts soon and begin to focus on the real matter at hand. And that would never happen if I gave in first. She had to be the one to fold. I only had to keep upping the ante long enough to make her do so.
“If you’re not doing this to get back at me…why are you making me stay here on a Saturday while you go out on the boat with my brother and sister?”
“I already told you. A package is being delivered today, and I need someone here to sign for it. As for me going on the boat with your siblings…I guess I don’t see it that way. I’m going out to spend the day on the lake with my best friend, his wife, and possibly his sister and brother-in-law.”
“If it’s your package, don’t you think you should be the one to stay home and wait for it?”
“Not really. I assumed you’d be hung over after going out last night. I didn’t expect you to be awake before I left. Not to mention, you don’t really have any friends around here since you’ve been away for so long.”
“What if I leave? Huh? What will you do if I’m not here to sign for it?”
I shrugged and turned around to walk away, speaking over my shoulder when I said, “Do whatever you want, Janelle. We both know you’re going to anyway.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I stopped at my bedroom door and looked right at her, standing exactly where she’d been when I walked away. “If you don’t want to stay here, then by all means, leave. Go hang out with whoever you were with last night, or go run into more people you used to know. I. Don’t. Care. If you’re not here when the delivery truck comes, they’ll just come back another time. The world won’t end. You won’t stick it to me, it won’t piss me off, and it won’t keep me up at night. I’ll still be out on the boat with my friends, having a good time. But there’s one thing I won’t be doing, and that’s thinking about what you’re doing.”
Without waiting for her to respond, I walked into my room and closed the door behind me. Aside from my shoes, I was already dressed and ready to go, but I knew I needed to hang back for a few extra minutes. So I sat on the edge of my bed and ran my hands through my hair, wasting time before I could leave my own house.
I hated these games—usually avoided all games—and wished I didn’t have to participate in this. Granted, I didn’t have to. I could’ve given up and put an end to it all. I could’ve given Janelle what she wanted, signed the papers, and let her go off and marry that moron for money. But no matter how easy that would’ve been, something stopped me. Probably my need to fix things. And by this point, I needed to see it through. I refused to lose this, and the only way I’d be able to accept a loss, was if we’d made it all the way to the end of our arrangement and she still refused to reconnect with her family.
At that point, it wouldn’t be my loss.
It’d be hers.
And there was nothing I could’ve done about it then.
It was eight by the time I made it back home. The sun was about to set, the streetlights about to come on, but there was still enough light to see the woman standing on my front porch. Without wasting a second, I parked the car and jumped out, hurrying around the corner to greet my guest. I only prayed she’d just gotten there, and Janelle hadn’t already had a chance to answer the door.
I swept my gaze along the road in front of us, noticing her car in front of my neighbor’s house, and I shook my head, unable to figure out why she always parked there. “What are you doing here?” I asked, almost out of breath—not from the light jog from my driveway to the front door, but because of the adrenaline coursing through me.
“I had to get out of the house and didn’t have anywhere else to go.” She ran her perfectly manicured fingers through her stick-straight, black hair, pulling the silky strands away from her face. Then her ruby-red lips tipped into a smile and her onyx eyes glistened with mischief. “Whose car is that?”
It wasn’t that I wanted to lie to her, but I had to be careful with how I explained it, while also being mindful that I didn’t speak too loudly in the event Janelle stood on the other side of the door, listening. I took my guest by the arm and walked her to the driveway where we stood in front of the garage. “Matt’s little sister.”
Her smile grew wider and the glint in her eyes brightened. “Does Matt know?”
I nodded without offering more.
She’d get the information she was looking for without me having to offer it all up at once. And she didn’t disappoint when she asked, “Visiting?”
“No. She’s living with me for six months.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, and her mouth rounded into a bright red O. “This is going to be fun. And exactly what I need to take my mind off the shit going on at home. Tell me, Holden. Tell me everything. And don’t even think about leaving out a single detail.” She poked me in the chest with her pointy nail that sparkled like aluminum foil. “Are you two together?”
I rolled my eyes and heaved out a long and controlled exhale. “Nope. But she knows about the chapel in Vegas. She came here like a week ago and asked me to sign her divorce papers, and I told her the only way I’d do that is if she moved back here and into my house for a while.”
The giddy surprise in her expression quickly turned to complete amazement. “And she fell for that? She didn’t know she can still get the divorce without you agreeing?”
Worried that Janelle could overhear, I shushed her and lowered my voice. “I told her I’d drag it out, and she didn’t question me. Shut up, okay? I’m doing what I have to do for her family. They need her, and if this is the only way to get her here, then so be it.”
“I’m pretty sure if you just tell her what’s going on, she’ll stay. I can’t imagine anyone from that family being so coldhearted they’d find all that out and still turn their backs on their loved ones. Are you sure there isn’t some ulterior motive behind your actions?”
I knew where she was going with this, but I refused to give in. She may have known more about me than anyone else, including Matt, but that didn’t give her the right to jump to conclusions. “No. I’ve told you a million times, but I’ll say it again…I’m over her. I knew it that first Christmas when she came back and made no effort to see or talk to me. And then it was further substantiated that next summer when she refused to come home. I knew then that I meant nothing to her, and that’s when I moved on.”
“Sure thing, Holden. Keep telling yourself that,” she practically sang in her sickly sweet, singsong voice. “So tell me…how’s it going having her under the same roof? Made any babies yet?”
“It makes total sense why you were kicked out of your house. What’d you do this time?”
“Bought a pair of shoes.” She thrust out her foot to show off some fancy-looking pair of heels that she for whatever reason paired with jeans. “Apparently, it wasn’t in the budget, and this was
n’t the first time I’d spent money on myself without discussing it first.”
“How long do you have to be gone?”
She shrugged. “Longer than normal. Do you mind?”
With an exaggerated huff, I said, “Fine. Come on. But you aren’t allowed to say anything to Janelle. Do you understand? Nothing.”
“Don’t you think that’d be awkward if she tries to talk to me and I just ignore her? I may look like a bitch, Holden, but I’m not one.”
“I beg to differ. I’ve heard you answer the office phone before. Anyway…obviously you can talk to her, but don’t throw me under the bus. Got it? I sign your paychecks, and if you want to afford those heels and have a reason to sleep in your own bed anytime soon, I highly suggest you play nice.”
Her feigned shock made me laugh, which died on my lips as soon as we stepped inside. Janelle stood in the middle of the living room, as though she’d just gotten off the couch, and it made me wonder if she had tried to peek out the window to watch me.
“Janelle, this is Veronica. Veronica, this is Matt’s little sister, Janelle.” I didn’t miss the way Janelle flinched when I introduced her, probably a reaction to my calling her someone’s little sister. But before I could get any other words out to explain who Veronica was, Janelle’s claws came out.
“UPS never came. I called them, thinking they might’ve delivered it to the wrong address, but they informed me there was no package to be delivered today. They didn’t have your address on the route—or your name. Please, Holden…for the love of all things holy, tell me you didn’t make me stay home alone today to teach me a lesson. Tell me there was some mix up with your order.”
Hurt burned in her stare and lit the anger coiling in her posture. This was when I had planned to admit that there was never a delivery. But as I glanced around the room and noticed how clean it was, smelled the presence of cleaning products in the air, I knew I couldn’t do that to her.