by Leddy Harper
I couldn’t help but laugh at myself along with him. It definitely sounded like something I’d say after having a few drinks. But at least I could state with certainty that I hadn’t ever been in that position—or anything remotely similar—with anyone else. Yet with Holden, I’d managed to dangle off a bed twice.
“If it was anything like just now, I’m sure I enjoyed it immensely.”
“You seemed to enjoy it then, too. I was worried I’d drop you, so I just grabbed you as hard as I could and held on, while continuing to fuck you like you’d begged for. The only parts of your body I could really hold onto were your hips.” His voice rumbled in his chest and vibrated in his throat, intensifying every single sound as I curled closer to him with my leg pulled over his. “You got off twice and were too worn out to pull yourself back up so I had to lift you onto the bed.”
“So that’s where the bruises came from…”
“Yeah…” He let his sentence linger in the air for a moment while I did nothing but wait for him to finish. I could tell he had more to say. “I noticed them the next morning in the bathroom, but with everything going on, I didn’t mention it. It wasn’t until like a week later when I stopped and realized what that must’ve been like for you. To wake up covered in bruises, aware that you’d had sex, but not remember any of it. I honestly thought you probably assumed I was into some kinky shit and so you avoided me.”
I giggled and pushed against his shoulder in jest. “I didn’t think about it too much. I had more important things to ponder. Every single one of my friends had told me how painful losing their virginity was, so I was completely flabbergasted how I had so many bruises and no actual discomfort. Just soreness. And if we’re being honest here, I kind of came to the conclusion that you had a small dick, and that’s why it didn’t hurt.”
He stifled my laughter with a pointed stare. Then he rolled on top of me, pressing my back into the twisted sheets beneath me, and ran his dick along my inner thigh. “Small?”
I swallowed, fighting between being turned on and wanting to finish this conversation. “I’ve got to say, Holden…I’m far more confused now that I know you’re not small.” My breath hitched, and I had to close my eyes the closer to my sex he got. All I could think about was the orgasms he gave me, and how desperate I was to experience it all over again. “How did you not rip me in two? And how in the hell did we have wild monkey sex my first time and I didn’t need a wheelchair the next day?”
His airy laughter fanned across my face seconds before the heat from his lips spread out across my shoulder. His taunting movements stilled in favor of his entire body quaking with humor. “I don’t know if you’re trying to insult me or give me a compliment. But the good news is…we don’t have to worry about you giving me a big head.”
Unable to bite back my retort, I turned my head to whisper in his ear, “But I like making your head big.” Hooking my legs around his waist to keep him in place, I said again, “Really, Holden. I would love to finally hear the story of how I lost my virginity. I know all the details leading up to it, and I have a general consensus of what happened after. But my first time…I wanna know how that was.”
Pulling his face away from my neck, he met my stare. “You really wanna know? You want me to tell you…” He swiveled his hips, stroking himself between my legs “Or would you rather I show you?”
16
Holden
Her cheeks were flushed and a thin layer of perspiration glistened on her skin, reminding me of dew first thing in the morning. She was absolutely beautiful, always had been, but nothing compared to the post-orgasmic glow she wore right now. And there was no higher high than knowing I’d done that to her.
She’d wanted to learn about her first time, so I’d shown her exactly how it went, in explicit detail. I’d taken my time to enter her, the same way I had our first night together. I made sure our gazes were connected, our mouths close together but not touching, and I had her hand clasped in mine above her head. And as if her memory had returned, she locked her ankles behind me at the same time she had before—the moment I fully settled deep inside her.
Janelle was right—my cock was made for her. And her cunt was made for me. I had to fight off the need to go caveman on her and remind her that I’d been here first. I’d staked my claim, raised my flag, dominated the fuck out of that territory. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t…I just had to find a way to do it without her knowing.
“How the hell am I supposed to keep my hands to myself around your family today?” With it being Labor Day weekend, everyone decided to meet up for a barbecue at Lakes Park instead of gathering for our normal Sunday dinner. When the idea was first mentioned, I thought it was great—an excuse to see Janelle in a bathing suit. But now, after spending all morning tangled up in her, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to see so much of her and not touch her. It would be pure agony. Absolute torture.
She groaned and curled into me, tucking her head beneath my chin. “I don’t know, but you have to. They have to keep thinking we’re just roommates.” When I didn’t respond, she pulled back enough to look me in the eyes. “Holden, I’m serious. We can’t tell anyone about this. It’ll only complicate everything.”
Hiding the sting her rejection caused, I blew out a huffed chuckle. “Whatever, you just don’t want them to find out because you know they love me more, and when you leave me, they’ll take my side.”
She slapped my shoulder and shook her head. “You’re so full of yourself.”
“That makes two of us…because you’re so full of me, too.” I quickly rolled away; she’d definitely hit me for that one. When I made it off the bed unscathed, I ignored her snicker and held out my hand to help her up.
As if the bed were some safety zone, once we both had our feet on the floor, it seemed like reality slapped us in the face. Janelle’s shoulders curled in slightly; her modesty had reemerged. This was a woman who—moments ago—had brazenly taken her own panties off when I apparently didn’t move fast enough for her. She was the one who climbed on my lap and told me she wanted to use my appendage as her own personal sex toy. This was the same woman who shamelessly stripped herself bare and then rode me like I was one of those plastic horses outside Kmart—the ones you feed a quarter and it goes up and down at the speed of negative slow.
Without saying a word, she picked up her T-shirt and walked out. I watched her leave with bewilderment, unable to do anything other than stand in the middle of my room and stare at her bare ass. I shook my head at myself, feeling like an utter fool all over again. The only thing that kept me sane this time was knowing she had no escape route. Five years ago, she had college. She had a reason to leave and never look back.
But not this time.
This time, she was stuck with me for another four-plus months. Even if it was vital that she run and hide, she couldn’t. I had her exactly where I wanted her. She had her sights set on the money, and in order to get it, she had to stay put. So I wasn’t concerned. My ego might’ve been slightly bruised, my hopes and dreams thrown in my face to taunt me and serve as remembrance of the pain I’d lived with after she’d left me the last time. But I could get over that.
Because I had a plan.
Her phone rang in her purse on the floorboard of the car, but she ignored it. She didn’t even glance at it to check the number. Either she didn’t care, or she had a good idea who it was. I knew her well enough to know she couldn’t ignore a call. Rather than answer a blocked or unknown number, she’d stare at the screen and wait for the voicemail alert, and then get pissed off if they didn’t leave a message. That never made sense to me. If she needed to find out who it was that badly, she should’ve answered it in the first place.
“Are you going to get that?” I pointed to the muffled ringing by her feet.
“Nope. I’m sure whoever it is will leave a message so I can call back later.”
As if her snubbing a call wasn’t weird enough, her nonchalance definitely raised a red flag. Th
at told me everything—she didn’t want me to see who it was. And there was only one person she’d hide from me. Not that I’d ever said anything to her about him calling. I knew what the deal was with him from the beginning, and I wasn’t an idiot. I was aware they spoke to each other. I didn’t like it, and I chose to not be in the same room when anything transpired between them if I could help it.
I only hoped this meant something good. Like she ignored him because she didn’t have any desire to talk to him, and not because she didn’t want to talk to him in front of me. Because the latter would’ve meant something very different, and not in my favor.
“So everyone’s gonna be here today.” I hated awkward silence, and I never experienced it too much around her, which only made it worse that I did now. “I won’t lie…as much as I love being around your entire family, it was nice last weekend with the smaller group.”
“Yeah, it was nice. I’m just not sure how to act around Christine.”
“What do you mean?” I hadn’t heard her mention anything about Christine since coming home from the doctor’s office. “Why wouldn’t you know how to act? What’s wrong with how you normally are around her?”
She grew quiet and turned away from me to stare through her window. If she didn’t start talking now, we wouldn’t be able to finish the conversation because we’d be at the park already. But before I could prod her, she finally answered me. “When she took me to the clinic on Tuesday, she told me about her miscarriages.”
“Well, I can’t speak for her, but I don’t imagine she told you in private that day because she wants to have a conversation about it today. So I’m pretty sure she’s not expecting you to sit down and bring it up. Just act normal. Talk about whatever else you two typically talk about. Have you heard from her since Tuesday?”
“Yeah. She’s sent me texts asking how I was feeling, but that’s about it.”
“Then you’re fine. She’s clearly not avoiding you, and she seems concerned about your health. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.” After turning into the main entrance, I reached over the center console and took her hand in mine, holding it in her lap. Pride filled my chest. She’d taken the reins and had started to slowly form deeper relationships with her family. “Whatever you do, don’t act weird.”
“Why would I act weird? Uncomfortable, maybe. Or a little standoffish. But I don’t think I’ll be weird.”
I pulled into an empty space close to the entrance, only releasing her hand to shift the car into park. Just after we both took off our seatbelts, I twisted my body to face her, staring intently at her with as much seriousness as I could muster. “I know how badly you want me. It’s in the way you look at me, how your pupils get all big. How you lick your lips, imagining they were mine. But you can’t act on your desires for the next few hours. Okay? That means you can’t follow me into the bathroom or touch me in inappropriate places while we’re in the pool. You shouldn’t corner me behind a tree when no one’s around, and if you can, you should definitely avoid trying to eye-fuck me.”
“Oh, please.” She lost the fight against the smile curling her lips. Just before climbing out of the car, she mumbled beneath her breath, “You wish.”
When I met her around the front of the car, I took the beach bag from her and carried it on my arm with my towel tucked against my side. “I’ll try to keep my shirt on as long as possible, but I will have to take it off at some point. So we should probably come up with an excuse now.”
After a long pause, she finally asked, “Excuse for what?”
“The drool. We could tell them you have a toothache, or maybe the strep did something to your tonsils and now you’re having issues swallowing your saliva. You just let me know what story we’re gonna run with, and I’ll back you up.”
She shoved me while laughing beneath her breath. “You’re the one who won’t be able to deal. You might want to stay in the pool most of the day to conceal your…you know, your erection. Because once you lay eyes on me in my bikini, it’ll just be one constant salute.”
“Considering what I’m packing…it’s virtually impossible to hide it, even under water.” I couldn’t help myself. Ever since she made the comment about assuming I was small after Vegas, I made it my goal in life to remind her just how wrong she was—every chance I got.
Out of nowhere, someone sidled up next to me. “Impossible to hide what?”
My neck almost kinked at the way I jerked my head to the side, recognizing Christine with a coy grin on her face. “The hard, hot sausage in the fridge. Janelle can’t get enough of it. Isn’t that right, Jelly? I swear, if I’m not watching her, she’ll take the whole thing.”
Janelle’s cheeks turned fiery red, but after a second of astonishment, she managed to pull herself back together. “Then I guess it’s a good thing you only brought the Slim Jim with you, because I could do without that.”
I couldn’t even form a response, because anything I longed to say would give us away in front of Christine, and Janelle made it very clear she didn’t want anyone to know about us. I shook my head and kept walking toward the pavilion her parents reserved while Christine and Janelle made small talk. I couldn’t shake that word. Us… I wasn’t even sure if there was an “us,” or if this morning was just an itch she needed scratched.
The three of us made it to the pavilion near the pool and restrooms where the entire family had already gathered. The one reason I hated to be the last one to show up was the number of people all crowding around to greet you. I loved them all, but try having sixteen people come at you all at once, and by the time you’ve made it through, you’ll be looking for a fifth of vodka and a smoke.
Luckily, everyone seemed rather dispersed into small groups rather than one large mob—probably because we were at a park versus the family home. Janelle joined the women, who appeared busy around the picnic tables getting everything organized. The five older kids ran around in the field while Rachel’s three-year-old daughter sat unfazed on a picnic table with an ice-pop in her hands.
“He lives!” Matt shouted as he clapped me on the back with his large, burly hand. “I almost forgot what you look like. It’s been forever since I last saw you.” Then he elbowed me in the side, and with a disapproving shake of his head, he said, “And from the looks of it, you’ve put on weight.”
I slapped his arm away, laughing along with him. “I’ve been lazy this week, only got in two runs. Well, one was more of a pitiful jog, but I powered through. Give me a week and I should be back to where I was. Then I’ll be able to kick your ass again.”
“Oh, and before I forget, you have papers on your desk at the office. I found them sitting on the fax machine when I went to use it, and I had no idea what it was. Looks like terms of a lease. You’re not leaving the firm, are you?” His concern would’ve been believable had we been anyone else, but it was understood neither one of us would ever screw the other over.
“Nah. Before Janelle got sick I had taken her to look at a few places. Must be from that.” I wanted the conversation to end before anyone could ask questions. Until I had a chance to talk to Janelle about it, no one else could know about the lease I’d signed without her being aware of it.
Just then, she slid up next to us with a cold can of soda in her hand. She didn’t act out of the ordinary, so I took that as a sign she hadn’t heard the conversation she practically walked into. “Did you want anything to drink? I’m still taking the antibiotics, so I won’t have anything, but if you’d like a beer, I can drive us home.”
“And what makes you think I’d let you drive my car?”
“That’s your call, buddy. I just thought I’d offer.” She shrugged it off like it didn’t faze her. Then she lowered her voice, and with a devious smirk, added, “But if you have an issue with me driving your car, then maybe I shouldn’t let you in mine anymore.”
“We hardly ever go anywhere in your car.” I didn’t want to insult her, but it really was a clunker.
“You w
ere in it a couple of times this morning.”
I was mid-swallow when she said that, making me realize what she’d meant by her “car,” and I started to cough. Not only because she made a sexual reference in front of her family—granted, none of them would’ve gotten it—but I’d mentally called her car a clunker, and I couldn’t stop thinking what would’ve happened had I actually said that out loud when I thought it.
She didn’t even give me a chance to regain my composure before throwing a wink at me and walking away. Matt seemed a little confused, but he didn’t question anything. I wasn’t sure how I’d respond if he did. However, that didn’t stop anyone else from taunting me.
Steve was the first to mention my dating life—or lack thereof. He thought it was hilarious how Janelle managed to kill my game. I laughed along with him, but not at his joke. I laughed because he thought I had a game to begin with. Janelle didn’t “cock-block” me like Shane had insinuated, but I wasn’t about to admit anything. If they wanted to believe I was a player who entertained women all the time, then who was I to tell them differently? Matt knew I wasn’t, though. Thankfully, he didn’t speak up. Instead, he sat there and laughed with us, everyone having fun at my expense.
Finally having enough of their mocking, I got up and walked away. They hadn’t pissed me off, and honestly, I found much of their statements comical, but I was tired of hearing them essentially put Janelle down. It wasn’t on purpose or done with malice, considering they all loved her, but it irritated me all the same. But the breaking point was when Tony referenced us playing house. As soon as he said I had it made because I had a woman in the kitchen who had her own room and her own bank account, I couldn’t take any more. I told them I needed a beer and excused myself.