“We are forever busy at work. I’m filling in tonight, so I rushed home to try to sleep for an hour or three before running back in.” Mateo didn’t hesitate to keep their one-sided conversation going. Edgar assumed his hot, friendly neighbor was just trying to learn about the person living across the hall from him. Nothing more.
“It was nice to finally get to chat, E. Catch you around, man.”
E? Edgar frowned at the one-letter nickname. He was unsure how he felt about it. E sounded like a secret agent or someone younger. He was still contemplating the reasons why he didn’t think E was acceptable as a name choice as Mateo’s door closed shut.
Ed replayed the last sentence in his head. Mateo made it seem as if the two would see more of each other or, God forbid, interact… socially. It would have been his finest dream of dreams come true but for the fact he couldn’t speak around him.
He shook his head and walked inside his apartment. He was getting ahead of himself. It wasn’t like the two were going to become friends.
****
Nearly two weeks passed without what Edgar dubbed Mateo incidents. He was happy about this. He didn’t want to embarrass himself further. Life was back to what he was used to. The first day after Mateo spoke to him, Ed was afraid Mateo would seek him out to talk about neighbor things. But he never saw him. Most late nights, Ed was playing his vintage Super Nintendo system. He was going through a Ms. Pac-Man phase and would hear Mateo’s door closing in the wee hours of the morning.
Edgar imagined Mateo was probably meeting tons of hot guys who would have no problems talking. They probably flirted with no issue, which ultimately led to sex and Mateo would top. Though in Ed’s sex fantasies, the two of them would switch and leave no body part unexplored. Edgar stopped thinking that route to smutty encounters. He needed to empty his garbage and didn’t want to pop a boner until he returned. He was lazier during his Pac-Man one-man tournaments. He slept late and let the trash pile up. The smell was getting pretty toxic and he couldn’t avoid taking it out any longer.
“Another eventful night at Casa de Atari.” Ed smirked at his goldfish.
After eating, he showered and changed into a very comfy pair of white boxers and a T-shirt. The boxers were old and threadbare, but he couldn’t throw out his favorite pair of underwear. It was late in the evening, when there normally wasn’t a lot of foot traffic in Edgar’s corner of the hallway. He put on old rubber flip-flops to start his mission. As he opened his front door, a loud crack of thunder boomed and echoed in the empty hallway. Edgar made sure to flip his door lock so as to not lock himself out, and made his way to the trash room. He slid on the wet marble floor in front of the elevators, his sandals providing no grip. Moving slowly, he inched his way to the garbage room with no accidents.
His return trip was a different story. Edgar managed to finish in the trash room and walked back to the wet floor in front of the elevators. Unfortunately, someone was coming off and was in the process of closing their soaked umbrella, not seeing Ed. Their collision was unavoidable, as was Ed’s slippery entanglement with the other person and their inevitable meeting with the floor.
Ed huffed out and did a quick mental check for anything hurting. No pain yet. Just cold and soggy. Ed rolled from on top of the person he collided with, apologizing profusely, while the other man did the same. Just his luck, it was Mateo. Edgar tried to offer a hand to Mateo while he also attempted to stand on his own independently, since gracefulness was on a yearlong vacation around the world at this point.
He clutched Mateo’s arm, since his poor choice of shoes were not helping. Mateo made it to his two feet first, and caught Ed’s arm, before Ed fell again. Ed tried to pick up Mateo’s umbrella, but Mateo wordlessly shook his head, held Ed’s shoulder and bent to retrieve it. Ed wished he was any place but here. His face reddened as he felt his cold, wet underwear stuck to his skin.
“I am very sorry,” Ed croaked for what was probably the fiftieth time. He looked up into Mateo’s face quickly to see how pissed Mateo might be.
Mateo just grinned and shook his head. “It’s my fault. I didn’t look where I was going. Are you okay?” Mateo let go of Ed’s shoulder but stood close by as Edgar tried to situate himself. Mateo looked Edgar up and down, stopping below Edgar’s shirt for some reason. Edgar frowned as he looked in that direction. He didn’t think anything was interesting and, oh my God, his frigging underwear were practically transparent due to the rainwater. His dick was on display. Ed looked up and spluttered. Mateo looked him in his eyes, smiling but not looking apologetic for being caught.
Edgar put his hands in front of his fly and tried to move away. “Very sorry. I’m wet. I mean, you made me wet.” Nope, not any better. Now, he sounded like a pervert. “You didn’t make me wet.”
“I kinda did,” Mateo pointed out. Thankfully, he didn’t look down to Ed’s boxers again, well, not that Edgar could see, while chastising himself for leaving his apartment in his underwear in the first place. Why was Mateo home so early? Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! He needed to get out of there before his cock rose and drew more attention.
“I need to go. Sorry once more.” Edgar turned toward his door, praying to hit dry floor so he could run.
“Let’s call it a no-fault accident, E.” Mateo started to walk beside him.
Edgar barely paid attention to him as he ran through his klutzy blooper reel of the last minute or two in his head. Walking in front of Mateo, he made it to his apartment without further incident. He looked over his shoulder while opening his door, “Good night,” he called out in Mateo’s general direction and scurried inside to a faint, “G’night.”
He went over the last thing Mateo said to him. E? He still wasn’t too sure how he felt about it. But instead of pondering about the one-letter nickname, Edgar thought about maybe hiding out in his apartment for at least the next year and the feasibility of this plan.
He just accidently flashed his neighbor. Holy shit.
****
Ed’s yearlong plan of remaining inside his apartment didn’t happen. He had to leave to buy fish food the day after Wet Dick-gate, as Ed embarrassingly dubbed “the incident”. Edgar left in the morning and didn’t run into Mateo upon return. Maybe he was blowing it out of proportion. The spot of blush-worthy excitement was probably nothing to Mateo. Edgar tried to brush it off as small potatoes as he went about his business for the rest of the week. His days went back into normal routine. He made sure to complete his short checklist when throwing out his trash: 1) fully clothed and 2) in the morning. There were no Mateo sightings, so it was gravy. He might have made sure to play more Sims 2 for the last couple of days and possibly listened out to hear his neighbor getting in from work in the early morning, so Edgar could sort of schedule ways to avoid him. And it was working.
A week and a day later, fate had other plans in store for Edgar. Returning from a visit to his sister’s bakery that afternoon, Ed spied Mateo talking to their neighbor from 11G in the hallway. He kept his eyes trained on his key ring in his palm and walked around the two in conversation. However, he couldn’t help but look at Mateo, and in doing so, caught Mateo looking at him. Edgar quickly looked down again, but not before catching Mateo’s wink.
“How’s it going, E?”
Again with this E.
“Not raining,” he murmured and rushed to his door. Edgar was proud he actually spoke words, but pissed that he chose to remind Mateo about the last time he saw him.
Mateo laughed. “Good one, E. See ya later, man!” He resumed his conversation.
Edgar went inside and dropped his laptop bag at the door. Were they friendly neighbors now? He was so underprepared.
He tried to put it out of his mind because he would only obsess about the minor interactions he and Mateo had had since they became neighbors. He showered, changed into sweats and had leftovers for dinner; basically, a typical night. He switched it up by starting his Super Nintendo. He was in a Super Mario Bros. mood. He’d just sat on Yoshi, Luigi’s din
osaur, when someone knocked on his front door.
Edgar paused his game and checked the time. 10:49 p.m. He wasn’t expecting anyone, but he stood up to check anyway. It was most likely one of his neighbors’ visitors who got mixed up with apartment numbers. He looked through his peephole and rubbed his eyes. He must be hallucinating.
“Hello?” Mateo called out, looking straight at Edgar’s peephole.
Edgar backed away from the door in disbelief. He quickly came back to reality after bumping his hand into the door, realizing he’d made his presence known. He didn’t think Mateo actually meant he’d see him later, as in today, as in now.
“E?”
Too late to pretend he wasn’t home. Edgar opened the door halfway and stared. Mateo looked great, as usual, and smelled even better. “Er, yes?”
“Not wet, I see.”
“What?”
“Because it’s not raining.”
“Dry. I’m dry. Yes.” Edgar clicked his teeth loudly. Real smooth.
Mateo stopped grinning widely. “I hope you weren’t hurt from our accident. I haven’t really seen you since, I think.” He scratched his head and moved closer.
Edgar was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was speaking to him. He figured Mateo was just doing his neighborly duty in finding out if he was okay. Totally nice, and another attribute that added to why Mateo was a great human being.
“I’m fine. Dry and fine. Thank you for your concern. I hope you were okay as well.” Edgar gave himself a mental high five for remembering to return the gesture, and pushed away from the door frame. “Have a nice ni—”
Mateo cut him off. “No injuries on my end. Anyway, the reason why I stopped over before work was because I wanted to let you know about our bar’s Singles Night. I’m not sure where you usually hang out, but we have two-for-one drinks eleven to one on Thursday nights. Ladies free from eleven until closing.”
Edgar raised his eyebrows. Mateo thought he had a social life? “Er, thank—” Ed squinted his eyes “—you?”
“No problem, E. I’ve been meaning to invite you and your friends to our weekly event. Couples are good to attend too, in case you want to bring your honey.” Like Edgar was dating anyone. “I think you’re the only apartment I haven’t asked. Mrs. Gladstone thought I was joking when I invited her. She just touched my cheek and chuckled.”
“Probably the highlight of her day.”
Mateo tilted his head and grinned. “I wouldn’t underestimate her. She’s a charmer. Hey, what game are you playing? That is a game I’m hearing, right? Unless that’s some kind of new genre of music I’ve never heard.”
Edgar turned in the direction of his television and stared like it was a new invention. The entire moment was surreal. “Super Mario Bros: All-Stars.” How could he not know this classic?
“I’ve heard of it. My older brother and sister used to play that, I think.” Mateo grinned and tried to peek over Edgar’s shoulder. “I gotta ask the next time I see them if they remember the game.” Just letting Edgar know he was ancient in comparison— a reminder that he and Mateo had nothing in common.
“Do you mind if I take a look? I don’t usually play video games, but maybe it’s something I should check out.”
Edgar wondered why Mateo wanted to even come inside, but figured he was just being friendly, like inviting Mrs. Gladstone to his bar. He’s a businessman. Of course he has to promote for new customers.
“Uh, sure.” Ed walked toward the television, past Atari’s tank. He didn’t look behind him to see if Mateo followed. Mateo exclaimed loudly how cool it was that he had a goldfish and chattered about not having time to take care of a pet. He walked away from the tank and came to look at the large flat screen television.
“What kind of game system is that, E?”
“Super Nintendo. It’s Ed, by the way.” No one had ever called him by that nickname, not that he considered a singular letter a true nickname. It made him sound cooler than what he was. And tonight’s choice of activity should prove this to his neighbor.
“How awesome is it that you play this?” Mateo looked down at the controllers and sighed. “I wish I had time now to play with you.” Ed couldn’t help but mentally smirk at that. “Not that I’m an expert or anything, E.” Apparently Mateo had ignored Edgar’s name correction. “I’m off Sunday night. My brother owes me for covering for him. You’ve got to show me the ropes. I think he’ll be jealous that I get to play.” Mateo walked away, moving to the front door, yet still facing Edgar. “What time works for you? Unless you have plans?”
What the hell was happening? “Er, no?”
“Great. So I’ll catch you and goldfish—”
“Atari.”
“Excuse me?”
“My goldfish’s name is Atari.”
“Cool. You must be a hardcore gamer.”
“I had two.”
“Ataris?”
“No, goldfish. Atari and Sega.”
“Get out.” Mateo leaned against Edgar’s door.
“Honest. Atari ate Sega.”
Mateo chuckled. “Dude, Atari sounds like a badass. Remind me to stay on his good side.” Mateo winked and stepped out of the door. “See you later, E.”
“Edgar or Ed is fine.”
“So ten-ish Sunday night. I should be back by then. Have a good night, E.” Mateo waved and closed the door. Once again ignored. The story of his life.
Edgar switched the locks. Seems I have a new acquaintance with a selective hearing problem? He didn’t understand if this was Mateo being really polite or interested in learning a new video game. Hopefully, it was a passing fad. Once Mateo saw how boring Edgar really was, he would go back to the friendly-in-passing type of neighbor.
This was only going to get Edgar’s hopes up for a friendship. The disappointment wouldn’t be as bad if he understood why Mateo was interacting with him on a more frequent basis.
****
Edgar didn’t want to consider Sunday night anything more than it was. In fact, since Thursday night, he’d rationalized it as him offering his tutorial skills to a novice. Nothing more. He fixed his brown-framed glasses on his nose— seasonal allergies made wearing his contacts uncomfortable— and was trying to walk at a normal pace, when he heard his apartment buzzer ring.
He’d wanked off earlier in the afternoon in hopes of preventing any surprise erections during Mateo’s visit. Edgar’s crush had done nothing but get stronger with the increased interactions. He knew he could play it cool when Mateo was here, though, because of his new ability to form more coherent sentences when conversing with his sexy neighbor. The guy made this talking business seem easy.
Edgar opened the door and breathed out slowly. Mateo looked fine. He’d lick him from head to toe, not missing anything in between. He wore fitted jeans, a henley shirt that outlined the picture-perfect torso, and a smile. A very bright smile.
“Do you brighten your teeth?”
“Hello, and how are you?” Mateo didn’t seem fazed by the word vomit.
“Your teeth are very white, like a toothpaste commercial.”
The body part in question continued to gleam as Mateo rubbed his chin slowly. “Thanks?”
Edgar moved back to let Mateo in. “I have a tendency to say things as they come to mind.”
A brief shrug was all that Edgar received as a reply, as Mateo made his way over to the goldfish. “Atari, how’s it hanging?”
Edgar stared, as Mateo made himself comfortable inside his home. He might have not cleaned up as much as he wanted. He wasn’t try to impress anyone, but he had set up a few snacks and soda cans on an end table by his couch.
“Er, I didn’t know how long you planned to stay, so ignore the snacks if you just wanted to play for a couple of minutes.” He watched the other man put a tortilla chip in his mouth and sit down. Guess he’s not planning to leave anytime soon.
“Totally set up for a night of fun. Thanks for the eats, E.” More crunching from the couch.
Edgar moved to sit at the other end of the couch. “About the shortening of my name—”
“Do you hate it?”
“No. But I’m—”
“You look like an E.” Mateo left his explanation at that and picked up the controller from the coffee table in front of them. “I meant to tell you, I spoke with my brother about your Mario Bros. game. He was fucking jealous. Then he laughed at me because he knows how horrible of a scorer I am when it comes to video games. I’m bad when playing for fun and worse in competitions. But eager to learn.”
Edgar frowned. He knew tutoring was on the menu for the night, but the way Mateo described his skills, Ed would have a long night and not get to the levels he wanted to finish in time. And if Mateo knew how bad he was, why invite himself at all?
“By the look of your face, you’re not too keen. Regret accepting my pushy invite?”
Yes. But looking at you more than makes up for it. “No,” he finally answered. Real smooth.
Mateo stared at Ed, looking at his face for what felt like an eternity, causing Ed to sweat heavier than normal. “I think you’re lying.” Mateo laughed and grabbed another chip. “Think about it, you can sit superior and smug when you watch my person die or make a mistake for the fifty-millionth time.”
Ed would have done that anyway, while he mentally sucked on Mateo’s neck.
“The appeal is there. C’mon, E. Put me out of my misery, so I can give you misery instead, with my non-gamer skills.”
Ed turned to his controller and chose the Mario avatar on-screen. After he finished, Mateo copied him. This was familiar turf for Ed. He finished his level. Now it was Mateo’s turn, and he hadn’t been exaggerating. He barely made it past the first area before he died.
“Not like that,” Ed said. “You need to jump.”
“Can you show me?” Mateo held his controller in front of Ed’s face. Edgar reached for Mateo’s controller to pause the game. He explained what each button did and repeated any instructions if Mateo didn’t seem to get it. “Thanks,” Mateo said.
Geeking Out on 11C Page 2