by Tamie Dearen
He shrugged. “Fine by me. But I wouldn’t risk it with the younger one. I think he’d dance right off the boat.”
“I’ll try to get Carla alone and ask her about it.” Katie shuddered. “Maybe she doesn’t want Dax out there, even if he has on a lifejacket… with the sharks and all. I know I wouldn’t.”
Gary bit his tongue. He couldn’t belittle her fears, especially after she’d been so courageous the day before, almost exuberant about the motorcycle ride by the time they made it back to the shop. Even she admitted there was no logic to it, since riding motorcycles is statistically far more dangerous than swimming in the ocean. She claimed the phobia must be in her DNA, as both parents were equally afraid.
Steven stood up and tossed his head, flinging his wet hair off his forehead. “Why don’t we go sail for a bit and come back in twenty minutes or so? Just let us know what Carla decides.”
Gary helped him push the catamaran back into the waves, glad to have something to distract him from Katie’s enticing lips. The way she kissed him yesterday… good gravy! Did she respond with that much passion because she thought he was a bad boy with a tattoo?
I may have to go get some ink.
Just as Katie reached the beach blanket, Dax stomped off toward the water’s edge, grabbing a flimsy, lime-green float and dragging it behind him.
“Come on!” Dax motioned for Cade to follow him.
“Don’t go back in the water unless I’m with you!” Carla called. “Just play in the sand, or come help me make a sand castle.”
“But we have a float,” Dax complained.
If Katie weren’t petrified of the murky water, she would’ve taken a turn swimming with the boys. Maybe she could volunteer to play with Joel on the shore.
Joel squirmed out of Carla’s arms and waddled toward the ocean at breakneck speed for such squatty legs. Carla scrambled after him and scooped him up. “Gotcha!” She swirled him in a circle giggling and kicking his legs in the air.
“I take it Dax is still pouting.” Katie moved to join Carla on the damp part of the sand.
“Yep. I’m the evil aunt who’s ruined his life. Evidently, my sister would’ve happily let him fall off the boat and drown.”
Carla sat down with Joel, keeping an eye on Dax and Cade who had decided to collect shells
“Are we making a sand castle?” Katie knelt beside Carla who was using her hands to shape the sand while Joel mashed it into a blob that bore no resemblance to a building.
“I think it’s going to be more of a post-hurricane sand castle,” Carla replied, as Joel added an impression of his foot to the un-castle.
“I have a proposal,” said Katie, “but you’re welcome to turn it down. Gary and Steven offered to take Dax sailing if we rent a lifejacket for him. They’ll be back here in about twenty minutes or so to pick him up, if you want them to.”
“Really?” A smile bloomed on her face. “That would be awesome!”
“Are you sure you want him out there?” Katie’s stomach churned. “He might not be safe, even with a life vest on.”
“Why not?” From Carla’s frightened expression, she must’ve been thinking the guys were child molesters.
“I’m just worried about sharks.” Katie’s cheeks burned. “I guess I’m the only person around here who has a shark phobia. I know it’s silly, but I can’t help it.”
Carla brushed her self-criticism away with a wave of her hand. “Don’t worry about it. Plenty of people are afraid of sharks, but most of them don’t come to the beach for a vacation.”
“Well, you don’t see me getting in the water,” said Katie. “I know I’m overreacting. I’ve read the statistics that more people are killed by stray corks popping into their heads than by shark attacks, but it doesn’t matter.”
Carla chuckled. “That’s okay. I’m terrified of roaches to the point of screaming and standing on a chair in the middle of the living room, but I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to die from a roach attack.”
“Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better.”
“Ha! I’m glad.” Carla worked on digging a moat around their pile of sand.
“Do you want me to go get a vest from the beach rentals? I’m pretty sure I can just add it to our charges.”
“Yes, if you don’t mind. I’ll pay you back when we go up to the cottage. That way, when the guys come back, I could surprise him.” Carla smiled as if hope had been pumped into her bloodstream. “Maybe I can do something that makes Dax happy, for a change.”
Dax and Cade ran up behind Katie and emptied their pockets, dumping a haphazard collection of shells, mostly broken.
“Can we swim now?” asked Dax.
“Not now,” Carla said, with more patience than Katie could’ve mustered. “But I brought a football for you to throw. It’s on the blanket in my beach bag.”
Both boys seemed excited by this idea. Katie hurried toward the rental shop, up the beach, with the sound of Cade singing “football— nah, nah, nah, nah, nah…” fading in her ears. About fifteen minutes later, she returned with the child-sized life vest to find Carla wrestling on the blanket with a twisting and screaming Joel.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, running to help, thinking Joel might’ve cut his foot on a broken shell.
Carla stood up, holding him in front of her, naked from the waist down, emitting an ear-piercing wail that rivaled that of his big brother. “He got sand in his diaper and started crying. He’s too wet to get it all off and put a new diaper on. I wish I had some baby powder or something like that.”
Behind her, covered head-to-toe in sand, Cade was tossing the football and diving on top of it, all the while singing the same inane song he’d started before Katie left.
“Where’s Dax?” Katie asked, looking to see if he was playing with the slightly-older group of kids in a nearby family.
Carla gasped, whipping around, her eyes scanning the beach. “Dax! Dax!” She bellowed over the top of Joel’s screeching cries.
Dax was nowhere to be seen.
“Cade!” Katie caught the frolicking boy by the back of his shirt, jerking him to a stop. “Where’s your brother? Where’s Dax?”
Cade’s song died as he slowly lifted his arm and pointed toward the water. Far out, past the breaking waves, Katie spotted a lime-green smudge.
“Dax!” Carla cried, running toward the ocean, still holding the crying toddler. “Dax! Noooooo!”
All the sounds faded until Katie could hear only the sound of her heartbeat, like a bass drum inside her head. Her eyes focused on the small boy, clinging to the dilapidated raft as it drifted seaward, only partially floating above the surface.
Nine years old. My sister’s age.
Ignoring the fear vibrating throughout her body, Katie slung the life vest strap over her shoulder and bounded past Carla to the water’s edge.
“Go get the lifeguard!” Katie yelled, as she splashed through the waves and dove into the salty water of her nightmares.
15
Fighting against the heavy headwind, Gary and Steven, once again tacked back and forth, sailing toward the beach, Katie’s pink cottage their bright target. From his position on the front of the catamaran trampoline, Gary kept watch, hoping to spot another dolphin, like the one who’d kept them company for several minutes on their way out. Instead, a flash of bright green caught his eye, then disappeared.
“Steven!” he yelled, pointing toward where he’d seen the color in the ocean waves. “There’s something green floating in the water, out there!”
He and Steven had already collected a piece of plastic and an empty water bottle, intending to dispose of the trash on shore.
“Coming about!”
Gary responded to Steven’s shouted command by rote, pleased that they were more in sync than ever. Now sailing parallel to the shore, Gary peered ahead, pointing toward the green plastic when it came into view again. Then he saw something bright orange. What was it? A lifevest!
“Go that
way!” Gary gestured twenty degrees to starboard. “There’s somebody in the water! Over there!”
Steven turned the rudder, letting out the sail to slow the boat.
“Two people! Do you see them?” Gary asked.
“Got ‘em!” Steven said.
Two heads bobbed in the water, one with an orange lifejacket. An arm waved in the air. Why were they out so far?
Gary shouted as they pulled up within a few yards of the swimmers. “Are you okay? Do you need—” He choked on his words when her recognized one of them. “Katie! What are you doing out here?”
Without responding, she swam toward the catamaran, tugging the boy in the lifejacket behind her. Gary held his breath until they made it to the boat. Steven quickly hauled the boy Gary now recognized as Dax, onto the catamaran.
“I’m s-sorry,” Dax sobbed. “I d-didn’t mean to.”
Steven hugged the crying boy, who seemed to hold onto him with as much grief as fear.
Katie put her hands on the hull and pushed up out of the water, arms shaking, but fell back before Gary could grab her.
Her head came up from under the surface, and she gasped, treading water in the ocean swell, her white coverup floating around her like a cloud. “Sorry… too tired… I’ll try again.”
He sat down with his feet on the hull and reached under her arms, lifting her from the water with sheer strength and adrenaline. Rolling back on the trampoline, he hauled her up with him, until she came to rest, lying on his chest, trembling in his embrace. She was safe in his arms, and he wanted to keep her there, forever.
“He got caught in a riptide. His float was sinking,” Katie said, with a shuddery voice. “I almost didn’t make it in time.”
“Shhhhh,” Gary whispered as he rubbed her back with calming strokes, while their hearts thudded against each other. He marveled that she’d swum so far out to rescue the boy, despite her utter fear of the ocean. In truth, even though the risk of a shark attack was miniscule, she could’ve drowned in her attempt. She’d risked her life for this boy she barely knew. That inner selflessness attracted him even more than her outer appearance.
In that moment, certainty set in. This woman was exactly what he needed, though he’d long ago given up his search. She was his destiny. Everything on his bucket list had become inconsequential. His life would be complete, if only he could have Katie by his side.
He continued to soothe her, until he realized she was crying.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“He’s Kindra’s age,” she croaked.
“Who?”
“My sister, Kindra. She was nine when she drowned. That’s how old Dax is.”
She was reliving her sister’s death. How could he comfort her?
“I’m so sorry, Katie.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “But you saved Dax, right? Look how brave you were.”
As he rolled them gently to their sides, supporting her head with his hand, he lifted up on his elbow. His free hand brushed her wet hair off her face, her skin velvety soft to his touch. He willed her to know how much he cared, but he didn’t dare speak it.
Her hazel eyes, deep green with the water’s reflection, looked up through wet lashes. “I’m not brave, Gary,” she whispered, as water that might’ve been a tear tracked down her cheek. “No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be like you.”
She rolled away from him as Steven’s voice interrupted. “Let’s get these two back to shore. I’m betting Carla’s frantic by now.”
“Right.”
Gary moved up to man the jib as Steven got their two passengers situated on the trampoline. He glanced back at Katie, who looked frail and helpless, her sopping wet coverup clinging to her soft curves. Yet deep inside resided a hidden strength her appearance denied. To know Katie’s secret mettle was like possessing the only copy of a compelling novel… no one else could possibly understand the wonder of it. It seemed even Katie, herself, didn’t comprehend how amazing she was.
As they beached the catamaran, Dax jumped off the boat and crashed into Carla’s arms. The two cried and hugged each other, the sight making Gary’s throat tight. He prayed it might be the beginning of healing for the pain-stricken family.
Katie gave a report to the lifeguard, and Gary waited impatiently for a chance to speak with her alone. But between comforting the stricken Dax and accepting endless hugs of gratitude from the tearful Carla, the private moment never came.
“We should get the boat back to the rental place soon,” said Steven, apparently unaware of Gary’s anguish. “I need to get in one last bike ride before we leave tomorrow.
Reluctantly, Gary followed Steven back down to the boat. As they hefted the catamaran off the beach, he looked back at Katie. Though she was too far away to make eye contact, he somehow felt their gazes connect. When she turned her back, he suspected she was avoiding him. Later in the day, when she didn’t answer her phone, he knew it was true. She confirmed it when she sent Steven a text, stating she had a headache and was going to bed early, in preparation for their trip home tomorrow.
But Gary had learned a few things from his battle with cancer. One of them was to identify what’s really important in life and pursue it with all your heart. Another was that not trying was the same as losing.
And I’m not a loser!
16
Wide awake, Katie stared at the cheery beach painting on the bedroom wall. Her text hadn’t been a lie. Her head was pounding, and she was in her bed, albeit sitting up, fully dressed, with no intention of letting her eyes close. The question was how long could she avoid sleep and the inevitable nightmares to follow? It had been years since she’d dreamed about Kindra’s death, images of her sister’s petrified face as she fell through the ice replaying over and over in Katie’s mind. But even now, seven hours after Gary had pulled her from the water, she couldn’t stop thinking about the accident that took her sister’s life all those years ago. And her accidental nap this afternoon had yielded visions so terrifying, she’d woken up sobbing.
At least with Dax, she hadn’t made the same mistake she’d made almost twenty-seven years ago, when her fear had kept her from crawling out to pull her sister from the frozen water. Though she’d been told any number of times she did the right thing by running for help, the two people who’d never given her that assurance were her parents.
Friends and professionals had said if she’d gone out on the ice to save her sister, she’d have probably died trying. But Katie had no doubt her mother wished she’d done just that. For on that day, when they learned Kindra was truly dead and her father attempted to comfort her inconsolable mother, Katie had curled up on the floor against the wall, weeping alone. And the first time after Kindra’s death that her mother had acted as if she cared whether Katie lived or died was when she disobeyed and climbed up that tree. And that was when Katie learned that she was responsible for her mother’s mental health. Only she could save her mother’s life. And so she did… by being perfect.
Katie’s cell phone lay in her limp hand, notifying her of the current time—9:30, plus four missed calls and six new messages, all from Gary.
She really wanted to talk to him, but how selfish would that be? He was so sweet, he’d probably listen to her whole sordid story, without judging, and gently tell her everything would be okay. Then he might kiss her and make her want to be with him.
Talk about torture!
She considered calling Nicole. But why? She already knew what her friend would say. “Stop punishing yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.” And she was right, of course. There was no reason to bother Nicole, only for her to repeat what Katie already knew, but couldn’t accept.
I’m an adult. It’s time I quit burdening my friends with my problems… especially Gary.
Her phone rang, and she stared at the screen.
Gary, again! If I don’t answer, he’ll assume I’m asleep.
The phone stopped ringing, only to announce another incoming message
. A smile inched its way onto her face. She had to admire him for his persistence. That’s how he beat his leukemia.
She jumped when someone knocked on the window beside her bed.
“Katie!” called the muffled voice. “Katie, are you awake?”
It was Gary. Should she answer him?
My light’s on, so he knows I’m awake.
“Katie!” Another set of raps vibrated the glass. “It’s an emergency!”
She sprang from the bed and peeked her head through the curtains. “What is it?” she yelled through the glass at the darkened figure outside. “Is someone hurt?”
“It’s my right hand,” he said. “I did something to my fingers, and I can barely feel them. Let me in the door. I need your help!”
“Coming!”
She shuffled down the hall and through the dark kitchen in her sock feet and flung the door open. “What did you do to your hand?” she asked, as she fumbled for the switch on the wall.
A blare of light illuminated the kitchen, and she blinked to adjust her eyes. Gary stood in front of her with a pizza box in one hand, a plastic grocery bag in the other, and a stupid grin on his face.
Katie planted her hands on her hips, hoping his Superman eyes couldn’t read her mind, because he looked really tasty, his ripped muscles attempting to break out of his t-shirt. “I thought you said you hurt your hand.”
“I did.” He held the grocery sack forward. “I’ve got two gallons of ice cream in this bag, and it’s totally cutting off the blood to my fingers. Look… they’re almost purple.”
She swallowed a giggle and made a valiant attempt at anger, but it vanished when the scent of hot pizza hit her nostrils, her empty stomach gurgling its excitement. “How did you know I hadn’t eaten?”
“I didn’t.” He set the tantalizing pizza box on the table and carried the ice cream to the freezer. “But pizza and ice cream are your comfort foods, so I figured you’d eat them anyway.”
How did he already know her so well?
As she sat down and flipped open the box of pizza, breathing in the delicious smell of pepperoni and Italian seasoning, she flattened her hands over her noisy belly. “My stomach sounds like Tony the Tiger. I guess I’d better feed him something.”