Her momma could barely say hello via text, but she got messages from Gran and Edna almost daily. They were the most technologically savvy senior citizens she’d ever met.
You were the talk of the town today. Folks went on and on about what a great job you’ve been doing. Rumor has it your little friend Hudson had something to do with that…
And just as fast as her heart had soared, it plummeted as she read the last sentence. She frowned down at her phone and typed out a reply.
You’re sure it was Hudson’s doing?
Almost immediately, another text popped up. I said RUMOR, didn’t I?
Narrowing her eyes, she dropped her phone back into her bag and slid the rest of the way out of her car. That was something she’d unpack later when she wasn’t walking toward Hudson and Caleb, trying to come up with something quippy to say.
All that came out was, “I didn’t ask you to do that.”
Hud laughed and tossed down another handful of leaves. The last of it, she assumed, since he climbed down the ladder and joined her on solid ground. “Hello to you, too.”
Without hesitation, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. Soft and sweet, but not casual. Not friendly. Heated and intense and…loving.
She didn’t even close her eyes, darting them to Caleb, who wasn’t paying them an ounce of mind. Why she worried about that, she had no idea. It wasn’t like half the town wasn’t already talking about her and Hudson being back together. And wasn’t that just going to be a punch in the boob when he left?
“Hey,” she said on a sigh when he pulled away.
Without a word, he lifted her bag from her shoulder, just as an exuberant CB barreled toward her. The tiny dog jumped up when she got to Mac, bouncing on her hind legs until Mac squatted to be closer. CB took that as an invitation and leaped right into her lap, not stopping until her front paws were on Mac’s chest and the dog was doling out puppy kisses like candy at a parade.
“Oh my goodness, look at you!” Mac cooed, running her hands down the dog’s silky fur. “You smell so much better. Yes, you do.” She glanced up at Hudson, a smile still on her face. “You got her groomed?”
“Lilah and Caleb did. Much as he loved how she smelled, it was time.”
Caleb simply lifted his eyes to Hudson as he stuffed the last bit of leaves into a yard bag. Something must’ve passed in the silence between them because suddenly Hudson laughed as Caleb’s lips quirked up on the side.
“Well, whoever did it, thank you. My clothes even started to smell like her nastiness.” Mac stood, cradling the dog to her chest. “Did you make it out to the vet today?”
That’d been one of the texts he’d sent—that he’d intended to see if she was microchipped so they could find her owners.
“Yeah.” He propped his hands on his hips and sighed. “Nothing.”
She frowned down at CB, her stomach knotting at the thought of Hudson dropping her off at the shelter. She nuzzled the dog and asked into her fur, “What’re you gonna do?”
He was quiet for so long, she lifted her eyes from CB and met his gaze. Staring at her, he shook his head. “That’s the million-dollar question.”
“You need anything else before I head out, sir?” Caleb asked, brushing his hands together.
Hudson expelled a deep, exasperated breath and shot Caleb a look out of the corner of his eye. “What’d I tell you about that?”
Caleb shrugged. “That a no?”
“That’s a no.” Hudson clapped him on the back. “Thanks for your help today. And don’t worry about anything at the cabin. You’ve done enough work out there without me. Just relax tonight.”
An emotion passed over Caleb’s face that was there and gone before Mac could decipher it. “It’s not a problem. See you later, boss.”
“That’s not any better,” Hudson called after him.
With a barely there smile, Caleb said, “Bye, Mackenna.”
Mac jolted over the use of her full name, not used to hearing it when she wasn’t in trouble with her momma. But then it suddenly clicked. The poor guy probably had no idea what to call her since Hudson called her Kenna but everyone else called her Mac.
“Bye.” She waved to him as he got into Lilah’s car and drove off, before turning her attention to Hudson. “You could tell the poor guy to call me Mac.”
“Why would I do that when it’s so fun to watch him fumble?”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “What’s all this?”
“All what?” he asked as he held her side door open for her.
“All—” She cut herself off, her eyes narrowing as she stepped into her kitchen.
It smelled like peaches and fresh-baked deliciousness, and her mouth watered. On her counter sat nine pies. She spun around to face Hudson, cocking an eyebrow.
“All this,” she said, gesturing to her counter and then to the front window where she could still see the ladder propped against the house.
He shrugged and set her bag down before plucking CB from Mac’s hands and depositing her on the floor. The tiny fur ball ran straight to a small bed Hudson must’ve picked up today and walked round and round in a circle until she found the perfect resting spot and settled in. “Had some free time today.”
“Uh-huh. In between the vet and picking up CB a bed and workin’ on the cabin. You had time to just whip up nine pies and clean out my gutters and—” She spun in a circle before facing him again and narrowing her eyes. “And what’s this I heard about me being the buzz around town for workin’ so hard? You have anything to do with that?”
“First of all, you and I already did the piecrusts, and I had commercial means to help with the rest. Momma and Lilah closed The Sweet Shop for a few days while Nash finishes up. Bakin’ nine pies in a professional kitchen doesn’t take too long.”
“And the gutters?”
He shrugged and reached for her, pulling her by the belt loop into the space between his legs. “You mentioned it a while back, and I wasn’t busy.”
She scoffed, because his version of not busy was certainly different from hers. “You’ve been nothing but busy all day! You didn’t have to—”
He cut off her words with his lips, and as much as she needed to start hardening herself to this pull between them, she couldn’t stop from melting into his body.
She rested her hands on his chest and breathed him in, languishing in the slide of his tongue against hers, of his large hands cupping her ass and pulling her into him so she could feel how hard he was for her. How desperately he wanted her, too.
But before she could get lost in the haze of lust that seemed to engulf her whenever he was around, she needed more information about the gossip around town. Pressing against his chest, she broke away and pulled back.
“And what about what Edna said? That everyone’s suddenly titterin’ about what a great job I’m doin’. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
He gripped her hips, massaging them in a way that made her want to melt right there at his feet. He lifted a single shoulder. “I may have run into a few people when I was out today and mentioned how hard you’ve been workin’.”
Mac stared at him, trying desperately to take the gesture how he no doubt meant it—with only love. But she couldn’t stop the niggle in the back of her mind that said he wouldn’t have done this if he believed she could do it for herself.
The fact that she was suddenly receiving support from the townsfolk only thanks to Hudson’s prodding made her feel…unworthy.
She’d come up against nothing but roadblocks in the form of the good old boys—the physical manifestation of the goddamn patriarchy—whenever she’d tried to do anything, even sit in on a simple appointment. No one had time for her or her ideas. No one wanted to listen to a single word that came out of her mouth. And now, because the hometown hero said they should support and appreciate her, they suddenly did?
They were doing it for him, not because they thought she deserved it. And certainly n
ot because they thought she’d earned it.
Where she’d always been trying to be seen by her parents, by others in general, she’d never needed to do that with Hudson. It’d always felt like he’d seen her.
But if his actions today were any indication, he’d seen her, all right. And then decided she still wasn’t capable of handling it on her own.
That cut deepest of all.
She stepped out of his reach, crossing her arms over her chest as if that alone could act as her shield. “Why did you do that?”
He scratched his jaw, clearly not liking that she’d put space between them because he tried to close it again. “What do you mean?”
“Why’d you feel the need to talk to everyone in town and tell them how much they should support me?”
He furrowed his brow—at her question or her continual dodging of him, she wasn’t sure. “I wanted you to see what I see in you—how amazin’ you are and how much you’re doin’. How much value you bring to the town.”
She breathed out a disbelieving laugh. “It did the exact opposite of that! Now I’ll never know if they’re supportin’ me because they truly believe I’ve earned it, or if it’s simply because I’m a Haven and their favorite hero told ’em to.”
“No, that’s not—”
She held up a hand to stop him. “The intention doesn’t matter, Hudson.”
Blowing out a resigned sigh, he scrubbed a hand down his face. “Fuck. You’re right. I’m sorry. I just got so damn frustrated listenin’ to you tell me about all the obstacles you were comin’ up against. It’s all bullshit—you know it as well as I do. I was just tryin’ to smooth your path a little. I didn’t mean to undermine you.”
“Well, you did. And then you’re gonna leave next week, and I’m still gonna be here, tryin’ to figure out how to get their respect when the guy who told ’em to give it to me is gone.”
He stepped up to her and cupped her neck, sliding his thumb along her jaw. “It doesn’t have to be like that.”
Mac stopped breathing. She wouldn’t be surprised if her heart stopped beating as well. At least right before it leaped into a gallop, racing so hard, he could probably see it through the layers she wore.
“Like what?” she asked, her throat tight with so much hope, it felt like a physical entity inside her body, desperate to spill out.
Was he going to stay? Was that why he hadn’t taken CB to the shelter yet? Why he’d been doing so many renovations on the cabin? Why he’d started something with her when they only had weeks together?
Was it because he’d known he’d be staying a lot longer than weeks? That, this time, it’d be forever?
He bent his knees until they were eye level. “I want you to come with me, Kenna.”
He’d done it. Hudson had finally said the words that had been creeping under his skin for almost the entirety of his trip home. He wanted to be with Kenna. Needed it as much as a starving man needed sustenance. And the only way he could see that happening was for her to join him.
He was only ten years into his career in the army, and the plan was to do the full twenty his dad never had the opportunity to complete, cut short by his untimely death.
And as much as Hudson’d felt the tug to be back in Havenbrook, he couldn’t bring himself to let down his dad’s memory by essentially being a quitter.
Kenna hadn’t moved since he’d uttered his plea, but her mouth hung open, her wide eyes seeming to look right through him.
He reached up and cupped her face, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks as he stared into her eyes. Relishing in their nearness. He hadn’t had it for so long, he didn’t take even a second of it for granted.
“I know this maybe isn’t the best time—”
She breathed out a disbelieving laugh and shook her head, though he held her steadfast. “That’s oversimplifying things.”
“Maybe,” he agreed with a nod. “But time isn’t on our side, Kenna. I leave in a week.”
She reached up and gripped his forearms, her shoulders slumping. “I know.”
“We don’t have the luxury of waitin’ anymore. I’m leavin’, and I want you with me when I do.”
“Hud,” she said on a sigh, shaking her head. She lowered her gaze, shuttering her eyes from him. “But I can’t just— I can’t just leave. They’re countin’ on me.”
“I’m countin’ on you. Rory and Will are here—hell, Will already works at town hall. Between the two of ’em, they can fill in until your daddy’s back in shape to work again.”
She stepped out of his reach and ran a hand through her hair. “We’ve already gone over this. Rory’s too busy with King Haven, and Will’s too busy doin’ her job and plannin’ the wedding.”
“C’mon, Kenna, they can figure it out. You know they can. They don’t need you here.”
As soon as he saw the devastation written on her face thanks to his words, he wished he could somehow snatch them back. Reverse time and never say them in the first place.
“Wait, that’s not—”
She held up a hand and shook her head, closing her eyes and just breathing. This was new—the teenage Kenna would’ve told him off without a second thought. Would’ve blown up and chewed him up one side and down the other.
“Fuck,” he said, scrubbing a hand down his face. “This isn’t comin’ out right. I need—”
“I can’t.” Her face was flushed, her eyes red-rimmed, though no tears had fallen. Her temperament might’ve changed slightly in the years he’d been gone, but this hadn’t. She cried when she was angry—something that frustrated her every time it happened.
Though she’d managed to keep her tears at bay, she was definitely pissed as hell right now. And one hundred percent of that fury was directed at him.
He tried not to let his disappointment show, but he felt it. Like a knife to his gut. She could be mad at him—he could handle that. What he couldn’t handle was not being with her, and he didn’t know how to make this work without her coming with. Hadn’t thought much beyond getting her to Joint Base Lewis-McChord with him, but he had to now. Because being without her wasn’t a choice he was willing to make.
“Okay.” He stepped up to her again and swept a piece of hair back from her face just to get his fingers on her. Just to feel her against his skin. “Okay. We’ll figure it out. We can do the long-distance thing until we—”
“No,” she cut in, her voice hard. “Hud…I can’t.”
Too stunned to do anything but stand there, he stared at her for long moments, trying to comprehend what she was saying. “Can’t…what?”
“I can’t do any of it. Not now. Not after—” She cut herself off, not continuing whatever thought she’d had. Shaking her head, she exhaled a deep breath. “I can’t afford to be distracted from anything right now while everyone’s countin’ on me.”
Hudson expelled a humorless laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“I—” She swallowed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not. It’s just… It’s too hard right now.”
“This is fucking unbelievable.” With his hands propped on his hips, he walked in a tight circle, his mind racing as his anger built. “I can’t do this again, Kenna. I can’t be halfway around the world and not know you’re mine.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t be here with you halfway around the world, not knowin’ if you’re safe or even alive, and still do the job the people in my family and this town are countin’ on me to do!” Her voice rose with each word until she lobbed them at him like grenades.
Matching her volume, he said, “This is bullshit! It’s ten years ago all over again. We’re not gonna be together because it’s gonna be hard, even though it’s obvious we love each other?”
Kenna squeaked, her eyes widening as she brought up her hand to cover her mouth.
“Yeah, I said it!” He threw his arms out to the sides. “I love you. I’m in love with you and have been as long as I can remember. Feels like it’s been my whole goddamn life,
and it’s not goin’ away, Kenna. It’s not. Distance didn’t change it. Time sure as hell didn’t change it. It’s here—” he tapped his chest, right over his heart “—and it’s permanent, and there’s nothing either of us can do about it.”
He wasn’t sure who moved first. One minute, their eyes were locked, both pissed off at each other, and in the next, their bodies were pressed together, lips fused and tongues entwined. Groaning into her mouth, he gripped her ass and hauled her up against him as she clutched his head to her.
Christ, she infuriated him, but he loved that about her too. Loved every mind-boggling, frustrating, irritating part of her. He’d tried turning it off. Tried forgetting. Tried distractions. Nothing had helped.
Every day for the past ten years, it’d been Kenna on his mind. Kenna in his heart. And he’d be damned if he was going to let her run scared from this without putting up a fight for her.
“Stop fightin’ this.” He pressed her up against the nearest wall and nipped her neck, needing to get to as much of her as he could.
As if reading his mind, she struggled to pull off her coat and tossed it somewhere to the side before she yanked her sweater over her head and threw it in the same direction. And then they were on each other again, hands roaming and grasping and kneading as they kissed until they were both breathless.
He set her down only long enough to strip her of her pants and underwear, and then he lifted her into his arms again, desperate to make her see. Help her realize that what they had wasn’t normal. It wasn’t run-of-the-mill and didn’t come along around every corner. It was special, something to be cherished and protected. Just like her.
“I need you,” he said into her neck, his fingers digging into her bare ass as she rubbed her pussy all over the front of his jeans.
He didn’t care that they’d no doubt be wet with her arousal by the time they were done. Didn’t care if he walked around town like that either. He wanted everyone in Havenbrook—hell, everyone in the whole fucking world—to know he was hers. He’d wanted that title for fifteen years, and now that it was finally in his grasp, he sure as hell wasn’t going to just walk away.
Captain Heartbreaker (Havenbrook Book 4) Page 22