“Ella!”
The little girl’s eyes popped open, and elation spread across her face. She dropped the stick and sprinted straight toward Mac, not stopping until she nearly bowled her over. Mac dropped to one knee and wrapped her arms around her niece, squeezing her as tight as she dared as Ella nearly choked her with her grip.
Without letting go, Mac brought her walkie up to her mouth. “I’ve got her. Someone let Rory know I’ve got her.”
Whoops went up all around her, the sounds echoing in the wilderness as well as through the walkie-talkies. The chopper got louder and louder until suddenly the spotlight was right on her, and though she couldn’t see Hudson, she knew he could see her. She closed her eyes and smiled up into the sky and the blanket of branches she had no idea how he’d found her through. Sending up every ounce of thanks she could without saying a word.
Tucking her face into Ella’s neck, she alternated between whispering, “Oh, thank God. Thank God,” and, “What in the hell were you thinkin’?” as she rocked her in her arms, smoothing a hand over her back.
Eventually, Mac pulled back, her hands on Ella’s shoulders as she looked her over, scanning her little body for any injuries. She liked to think Ella knew enough to avoid any, but accidents happened, and she’d been out there for going on five hours.
“I’m ok-k-kay,” she said through her rattling teeth.
“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t get used to that.” Mac squeezed Ella’s upper arms before pulling out a blanket from the rescue pack and wrapping it around her. “Your momma’s gonna kill you.”
Ella’s shoulders slumped, and she frowned. “Has she been worried?”
“Everyone’s been worried, you goof. Seriously, bug, what were you thinkin’?”
In the blink of an eye, Ella’s face morphed into a scowl. “That jerk, Tommy. He bet me I wasn’t brave enough to go into the woods by myself.”
“Well, you sure showed him,” Mac said dryly, standing and guiding Ella in the direction of the school, tucking her into her side. “It’s a good thing he didn’t bet you that you couldn’t find your way out yourself, ’cause you would’ve lost that one.”
Ella ducked her head sheepishly, and then she beamed up at Mac. “But I did what you taught me!” She gestured to her hat and the sweater she wore outside her coat.
Mac looked down at her niece, a smile on her face. She wasn’t sure she’d ever stop smiling today. “I know you did. Just like we talked about.” Mac squeezed the little hand on which she currently had a death grip. “I’m proud of you.”
“I knew you’d find me.”
“Oh yeah? How’d you know that?”
Ella stared up at her with love and so much admiration in her gaze, it nearly knocked Mac right on her ass. “Because I can always count on you.”
Mac would relive this day for the rest of her life. Both the good and the bad. Finding out Ella was missing and the nerve-racking hours that followed were some of the worst in her entire life. But so many other moments throughout the day overshadowed them in their goodness.
Like seeing Rory’s face when her eyes had first landed on Ella and witnessing the pure joy and relief that had swept over her features. Or accepting bone-crushing hugs from her sister and their momma. Or getting more pats on the back than she could count, the townsfolk looking at her with something she couldn’t remember ever being on the receiving end of—pride and admiration.
“I knew you could do this, sweetheart,” her momma said, her eyes shining with something Mac hadn’t ever been able to put a name to before. It practically poured out of her, the same look she’d bestowed upon Mac throughout her life, but usually without the accompanying praise. Like at the hospital, and in their dining room when she’d agreed to take over at town hall, and dozens of other times in her life. “As soon as they told me you were leadin’ the rescue, I took my first deep breath. I knew you wouldn’t let us down. You never do.”
Mac huffed out a disbelieving laugh. “I… ’Course I do.”
Momma tipped her head to the side, her brows pinched. “What on earth do you mean?”
“Well, Momma…” she said, her tone matter-of-fact. This wasn’t exactly the time or the place to get into it, but Mac’s failures also weren’t a secret, especially within their family. “You don’t have to blow smoke up my butt, even if everyone’s makin’ me the hero today.”
“You are the hero today.”
Mac brushed off the praise and continued as if her momma hadn’t said a word. “You don’t have to pretend you and Daddy haven’t been disappointed in my…choices.”
“Why in the world would you think that?”
“Why—” She shook her head, fumbling with the words until they suddenly poured out of her. “Why wouldn’t I? The first Haven to fail college—”
“Mac,” Momma said, her tone sweetly reprimanding. “You and I both know college wasn’t ever gonna hold you. You weren’t made for it.”
“Made for success, you mean?”
“Hush, now.” She reached for Mac’s hand and squeezed. “Made for ordinary. All four of you are as different as each of the seasons, but you have similarities. Rory and Will thrived at college because they both flourish by seein’ their accomplishments on paper. You and Nat never had time for any of that. You’re both doers, Mac. And you’re doin’.”
Mac furrowed her brows, suddenly seeing her life through a whole new lens at her mother’s words. “But what about when I was spendin’ my time doin’ while bein’ a bartender at the place Daddy never wanted here to begin with?”
Momma cocked her head to the side. “You mean while bein’ an integral part of helpin’ your future brother-in-law establish a successful business?”
That…wasn’t exactly how she saw it.
“Well, how about when I ‘flit off,’” she said, air quoting a phrase her daddy loved to use, “for weeks on end and run outta town?”
Raising an eyebrow, Momma asked, “You mean when you’re helpin’ those kids who are so much less fortunate than you’ve ever been a day in your life?”
“Wha—” Mac’s jaw dropped open as she stared at her mom with wide eyes. “How’d you know about that? Did Will tell you?”
“Oh, please, like I need your sister to tell me anything. You girls never give me enough credit. There isn’t much y’all’ve done that I don’t know about—including that dent in our car when you were seventeen,” she added with a raised brow.
You could’ve blown Mac over with a well-timed breeze. She just stared at her mom, having no idea what to say.
Finally, she managed, “So, you mean to tell me you’re…” But she couldn’t finish the sentence, mortified to find a knot in her throat and her nose suddenly tingling.
Momma squeezed her hand, a fond smile tipping the corners of her mouth. “Proud of you? Immensely.” She wrapped her arm around Mac’s shoulders and squeezed her into her side. “Oh, sweetheart, I had no idea how badly you needed to hear that. I thought you wouldn’t want to. I’m sorry. I might not have said it, but I’ve felt it. Every day of your life.”
Mac had cried enough over the past few weeks to last a lifetime, and her eyes were stinging even now. She cleared her throat and blinked fast, trying to get a handle on herself. “Thank you.”
“Momma!” Rory called from across the Square, waving their mom over.
“Always,” Momma said quietly. With a squeeze and a kiss pressed to Mac’s temple, she stepped away, almost immediately engulfed by the sea of people currently milling about.
The fastest celebration in the history of Havenbrook had been put together when news of Ella’s disappearance and subsequent rescue had spread around town. Edna and Gran had been on the phone, coordinating everything, and by the time Ella had been cleared by the EMTs, tents draped with Christmas lights already stood in the Square, heat lamps placed every twenty yards or so to ward off the early December chill.
The Willow Tree had set up a stand in front of their location, serving hot chocolate
—spiked for the adults, natch, with mix-ins for the children. Next to it, in front of The Sweet Spot, was the old stand Mac had helped Hudson paint back in high school. One of the teenagers Lilah had hired in deference to their increased business was handing out fresh mini donuts to the crowd while Lilah was completely wrapped up in Caleb.
Her arms were around his waist as he stared into her eyes before leaning down to press a kiss to her lips. Mac blinked at the sight. Holy shit, she must’ve really been in her own world not to have seen that coming.
She looked away, searching out the one person she was desperate to lay eyes on, finding Hudson talking to his momma. He squeezed her tight, saying something that made her smile. They both glanced down to a doting CB, sitting at Hudson’s feet, her tail wagging at their sudden attention.
Fuck, Mac’s heart ached. There stood the only man she’d ever loved, and he was leaving. Again. And there was nothing she could do about it.
But…well…she might not have been able to do anything about that, but she could do something about him leaving without knowing she loved him. Loved him with every ounce of her being. She was filled to the brim with it—had been nearly her whole life—and it was time he knew.
Without thought, she strode toward them, taking a quick detour to offer her thanks to Caleb before she spoke to Hudson.
The new couple pulled apart as she approached, and Lilah turned to her with a smile. “You did great today, Mac. Nice job.”
“Thanks.” She forced a grin that she prayed didn’t look like a grimace. She’d been getting better at receiving the compliments that had been showered upon her all day. She hoped.
She turned her attention to Caleb. “Thanks for your help in the helicopter.”
Tipping his head in acknowledgment, he said, “Anytime.” And then he pressed a kiss to Lilah’s temple and murmured, “Find me after you two talk.”
Lilah nodded and watched him leave, a fond smile on her lips.
“So…you and Caleb, huh?”
“Me and Caleb,” Lilah confirmed with a grin.
Mac didn’t know the ins and outs of their relationship, but she was pretty sure it was brand-new. She thought back to when they’d come into The Willow Tree that night when Hudson and Caleb had first arrived. And while there’d been some sexual tension between them, they definitely hadn’t been a couple. So, weeks-old, then. If that. And here she’d been worried about maintaining something with Hudson when they had the foundation of a lifetime of friendship under them.
“How’re y’all gonna manage that?” she asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.
Lilah lifted a shoulder. “We’re just gonna.”
Just like that. No worry. No stress. No second-guessing. “Won’t it be hard?”
“Of course,” Lilah answered on a laugh. “But what relationship isn’t? This is just a different kind of hard.” She lifted a single shoulder. “But it’ll be worth it if I get him out of the deal. Besides, I know more than most that life is too short. You never know when your last day is gonna be.”
The thought stopped Mac cold, urgency suddenly choking her. She’d been approaching this all wrong. Since the first time Hudson had left, and then when she’d cut off communication with him after his accident, she’d done it all wrong. She’d been so fucking stupid. So stupid and…scared.
Worse than Hudson being distracted by Mac’s love was if his time was up, regardless, and he didn’t even know he had it. Worse would be if she never got to tell him in the first place.
If there was one thing this day had taught her, it was that she needed to have a little more trust in herself and what she could and couldn’t do. And she and Hudson, together? There wasn’t anything they couldn’t do. Starting a relationship with him now, minutes before he left to be gone for God knew how long, would take a leap of faith. But she’d done all the best leaps of her life with Hudson by her side. It was time to jump and know, with complete certainty, that he’d be there to fall with her.
Mac looked over to where Caleb and Hudson stood, their heads bent together as Marianne chatted with a customer off to the side. Without prompting, Hudson suddenly lifted his eyes to hers, holding her gaze. Mac’s heart fluttered in her chest, her stomach flipping like it did every time she was around him. Urgency driving her forward to tell him everything she’d kept bottled up for too long.
Their time was officially up. Hudson and Caleb had stayed much longer than they’d planned, which meant they’d be catching the last flight out tonight since they were due on base in the morning. Their first day back was going to be absolute horseshit, but nothing to be done about it now.
Besides that, he wouldn’t change the past twelve hours for anything. He was just thankful he’d been here when Kenna had needed him. Thankful he’d been able to provide support to her by her side rather than from thousands of miles away.
Though, if he was being honest with himself, it wasn’t just being there for Kenna that had made his adrenaline surge or pride swell in his chest. He wasn’t a stranger to that feeling, not when he was flying a helicopter—he just hadn’t expected to feel it outside the army. But there was no denying he’d felt it this afternoon.
“You wanna talk about it?” Caleb asked quietly while Hudson’s momma was distracted with a customer.
“Talk about what?”
How his head was all screwed up and he was confused as fuck about what it all meant? How Ella going missing and Kenna storming into the forest without a second thought like some kind of action movie heroine had him reassessing how fragile everything was? Caleb, as much as Hudson did, knew how lucky they were to get each moment they had. Hell, they knew that more than most, considering they’d fought in a war for ten years. Considering they’d watched friends and brothers-in-arms be wounded beyond repair, or worse—die in battle and never get to return home again.
Life was precious and fragile, and you never knew when one day was going to be someone’s last. The thought of something happening to his momma or his sister or Kenna while he was deployed had always been a whisper in the back of his mind. A whisper that had grown louder after his momma’s accident. And now…he didn’t know if it was being home, or Richard’s heart attack, or Kenna marching straight into danger without hesitation, but suddenly that whisper had turned into a roar he couldn’t ignore any longer.
Caleb let out a soft snort. “That’s how you’re gonna play it, huh?”
“I don’t know what the hell you mean.”
Crossing his arms, Caleb stared at him hard, studying Hudson in a way that made him feel emotionally naked. His best friend always had a way of stripping down the bullshit and getting right to the heart of the matter in as few words as possible.
“Seems to me with all the tourism they’re bringing to the town, there’d be a business in Havenbrook for an experienced pilot. Someone to do helicopter tours of the Range, or offer full-service guided hikes from the ground. Plus, help out with the new SAR team I’ve heard whispers about all day.”
Hudson narrowed his eyes on his best friend. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about? You plannin’ to drop your papers and move to Havenbrook?”
“Not today. Just making an observation.”
Hudson stared at Caleb—who only had eyes for Lilah—and tried to shake off his words. But, like with most things Caleb said, they settled deep, burrowing in so far, Hudson had no hope of escaping them.
Was Caleb right? Was it possible that Hudson could have the adventure he craved and provide life-saving assistance when needed, all while being where his family was? Where Kenna was?
True, he’d have to give up fulfilling his dad’s dream of retiring from the army—the one his dad had never gotten the chance to complete himself. But Hudson could finally admit it hadn’t ever been his dream. He could never resent his time in the army. It’d given him the adventure of a lifetime and had linked him to his dad in a way he couldn’t have been otherwise. It’d given him one of the best friends he could ever hope for and a li
felong brotherhood he’d have been hard-pressed to find elsewhere.
But it didn’t feel like home anymore. Hell, if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure it ever had.
Nope, home for him was in the eyes of the girl currently striding toward him. The girl who’d had his heart wrapped around her finger since he was eight years old. The girl he was going to fight like hell for today. And tomorrow. And the next day. And every day in the foreseeable and not so foreseeable future. He didn’t know what the future held for them—for him. He couldn’t answer that today. But what he did know was that he wouldn’t stop fighting for them until his heart stopped beating.
Tugging on CB’s leash to follow him, he met Kenna halfway, the two of them toe-to-toe amidst the cacophony of a celebrating Havenbrook. He ran his gaze over her. She hadn’t even gone home to change or shower after the rescue, so her hair was a mess, her makeup smudged, and she looked absolutely exhausted, but he’d never seen anything more beautiful.
He reached up and plucked a small twig from her hair. “Hey.”
“Hey,” she answered, her gaze tracking over his face as if she were trying to catalog every one of his features. “I’m sorry you missed your flight.”
“I’m not.” He swept his finger down her cheek, tracing the soft skin from her temple to her chin. “I’m glad I could be here to support you being a complete badass.”
She huffed out a laugh. “I’m glad, too.”
Well, that was something, wasn’t it? She hadn’t told him to get lost or to fuck off, so he was winning in his book.
Caleb cleared his throat from the side, drawing Hudson’s gaze, then tapped a finger on his watch, lifting his brows in a we gotta roll gesture. Hudson turned back around and ignored him. He’d fly the two of them back to Seattle himself if he had to in order to get even five more minutes with Kenna.
But he couldn’t deny that time wasn’t on their side. Which meant if he was going to open his chest and bare his heart to her again, now was the time.
Captain Heartbreaker (Havenbrook Book 4) Page 26