“It feels like your lab is more important to you than I am. It’s become increasingly clear that you don’t want the same things as I do.” She spoke gently, though her words pierced him like a sword.
“Don’t you want to pursue something? Painting, perhaps?” he asked.
She laughed. “I want to be a mother. I want to throw balls and parties. It’s everything that I’ve been brought up to do and to expect from marriage.”
“Well, then, My Lady, I hope that you find that.” He should have known that she had already made up her mind. And, in a way, so had he. It was why he’d put it off.
“I thought I had,” she said. “If you can convince me, perhaps make some sort of compromise—”
She waited, giving him the chance to turn things around. He shook his head.
“No, that life isn’t for me,” he said.
“I thought so. Well, I should let you get back to it. I just thought that we should end things on good terms. I do wish the best for you, Lord Malmore.” She held out her hand to him.
He pressed her fingers in his hand. “I wish the same for you, Lady Cecily.”
She glanced over at her lady’s maid, who stood up.
Adam walked Lady Cecily to the front door, then helped her into her carriage. He held out a hand to her lady’s maid, as well. She smiled at him, thanking him.
“You’re a good gentleman,” Lady Cecily said.
“I’m not really good at being a gentleman. Not a proper one, at least. If things were as they should be, then my brother would be here.”
At his mention of Tom, she looked sad. He smiled, then stepped back. He watched as the carriage pulled away, then turned the corner.
He felt like something had just ended. Something far more significant than just a society marriage. It wasn’t just that he and Lady Cecily were unsuited for each other. Adam was unsuited for the ton. He didn’t belong in it.
He wasn’t like any other gentlemen. Indeed, he wasn’t supposed to have been the Earl of Malmore in the first place.
For years, Adam had struggled to fill Tom’s shoes, and felt he was failing. Tom had been a good gentleman. He had been kind and just. He had always treated Adam with patience, understanding. Adam missed him immensely. He knew exactly what advice Tom would have given him at this moment.
Adam needed to learn how to be true to himself. There was so much that he wanted and none of it had to do with the ton or titles.
What had been lost that day was his final attempt to be a member of the ton. He was quite finished with all of them, Gerard and his mother, were the only exceptions.
He turned and went back inside of the house. He was going to rededicate himself to his interests. His study was important. The ton and their insidious gossip were not.
* * *
That night, Susannah and Lucy retired to the room that they now shared. It was a simple room: white walls and bedspreads, a plain brown oval-shaped rug. They both had a bed, and a small closet in which they could keep their few things. There was a plain stand, on top of which sat a foggy looking glass and a wash basin. It wasn’t much but it was cozy and clean.
Susannah undid the pins of her bun, letting her long brown hair down. “You never told me that the Earl of Malmore was so good-looking,” she said. Lucy turned to her. She was dressed in her nightgown and pulled a brush through her long blonde hair.
“He’s not that attractive. You ran into him today, then?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I was dusting the library and he stopped in to grab a book,” Susannah explained.
“He didn’t notice you, did he?” Lucy asked, knowingly.
“No. He did not. It was a relief. I was peering about and I thought I’d been caught in the act.” She undid her dress and stepped out of her petticoat and then pulled her nightgown on.
“He’s often distracted,” Lucy explained. “He’s rather focused on his scientific discoveries. Not that we’ve seen anything he’s developed lately.” She shrugged, brushing her hair as she thought. “He’s much like any other gentleman. The staff is somewhat invisible unless it’s Mr. Howard or Mrs. Braithwaite. He is kind, though. His demands are not difficult. I’ve heard some terrifying stories from other house maids.” Lucy set the brush down then sat down on her bed.
Susannah had no complaints. She knew that this was a good job in a good home. She let her mind drift, thinking about Lord Malmore. She felt odd when she thought of him. As though she were glowing. Her cheeks warmed as she thought of placing her hand on his cheek, something she knew would never happen.
“Do you like it here so far?” Lucy asked, interrupting Susannah’s thoughts.
Susannah grinned as she sat down on her own bed. “I love it here.”
“Good. You don’t regret leaving Lidcote?” Lucy asked.
“Not even a little,” Susannah assured her. She regretted her lies, as well as the abject terror that her mother was in, but she didn’t regret leaving. “Thank you so much for helping me get the job. I owe you, Lucy.”
The two friends smiled at each other. Lucy reached out and Susannah took her hand, pressing it close to hers.
“If your father knew that it was me who helped you to run away—” Lucy began. She let go of Susannah’s hand.
“He’d be livid,” Susannah said with a laugh. “But it’s perfect, in a way.” It was. Lucy was her father’s antithesis. However, Lucy was a good person who had helped Susannah escape. Her father wasn’t the sterling individual whom he pretended to be. He thought that you had to be godly in order to be good, a fact that Susannah had come to learn wasn’t actually true.
“Just think of all the adventures we’ll have here in London,” Lucy said. “We have time to go out and do things during the afternoons when we aren’t needed.”
“You’ll have to show me around,” Susannah said, looking forward to exploring the city more. They both climbed under their covers. Lucy leaned toward the candle and blew it out.
“Night, Susannah.”
“Night, Lucy.”
Susannah lay in her bed staring up at the unfamiliar ceiling. She was exhausted after two days of travel and then an afternoon of doing light chores. She sighed, content. She had everything that she needed, here at the Earl’s house in London. Somehow, it had all worked out. She was living her dream. She closed her eyes.
Her mind turned immediately to the Earl of Malmore sleeping somewhere nearby. She wondered what he was thinking. She wondered what would happen if he ever looked her way.
What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if he does?
* * *
Adam was lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He kept thinking of Lady Cecily. He hadn’t loved her, but…he wanted to settle down with a lady who saw the importance of his work.
Is it possible? Does such a lady exist?
Something, deep inside of him, said she did not. All ladies had been programmed by society ever since birth. They wanted fine dresses, nice homes, children, and balls. He would never find a lady who understood the importance of his scientific study and pursuits. In all the world, there was no lady who was Adam’s match. He would live his whole life attempting to find meaning and worth in the lab.
What if I never come up with another thing again?
The lurking dread that had plagued him for the past few years filled him. Years of failed ideas had taken their toll on him. Despair was like dark water, closing over his head. If he didn’t do something, then he would be there all night staring up at the ceiling and wallowing in self-doubt and pity.
He got up, putting on his red velvet robe. He walked over to the two armchairs which sat facing the fire. They were upholstered in red velvet. He considered sitting, watching the flames die down in the grate. He felt restless. Unsettled. There would be no sitting and sulking for him tonight.
He put on his slippers, then left the room. There was utter silence as he walked through the halls,. He knew that the whole household had gone to bed.
> Here he was, master of the house, haunting the hallways like a ghost. He went to his lab where he spent most of his sleepless nights.
Was Lady Cecily right? Was his lab more important than she was? What sort of a gentleman chose his lab over the lady he was supposed to marry?
He sat down at his worktable. He lit a candle, the match flaring as the wick caught fire. He sighed, opening his notebook. Inside, there were equations scrawled across the pages. Ideas that had not worked when attempted.
He had wanted to focus on making his tobacco company more profitable. In past years, he had come up with new and better ways to process the leaves so that the product was better. Better tools with which to cut the leaves, thereby making the harvesting go faster.
Perhaps, he wasn’t thinking big enough. Maybe focusing on only tobacco was limiting himself and that was why he was so stuck. Mr. Sullyard had been right. To come up with something that could apply to other industries was the way to go. In a way, he had accidentally given Adam the key to solving his problems. Mr. Sullyard would be livid if he had known.
Adam sighed, sitting back in his seat. He needed to think broader. He looked at his pages, in their rearranged form. Tools which would apply to only tobacco.
Ideas danced just out of his reach. He began to adjust them, bit by bit. Eventually, he had something. A plan which he could make a mockup of. He would test it until it worked.
The candle burned all of the way down, eventually sputtering and then going out, plunging the lab into darkness. When Adam looked at the window the sky was beginning to lighten. He had been awake the entire night. He got up, deciding to get a few hours of rest before facing the day.
Chapter 6
Over the next few days Susannah worked hard to learn the house. From time to time, she caught glimpses of the Earl but nothing more than that. He seemed to spend most of his time holed up in the laboratory. She had been told expressly that no one was to go inside unless they were specifically asked for. Lord Malmore wanted privacy and peace so that he could focus.
There wasn’t a moment that she didn’t think of him. For the first time in her life she was experiencing feelings she had never felt before. It wasn’t quite love, for she didn’t know him, nor did she know what love felt like. It was like a blossoming inside of her. Like she was a flower, her petals opening in the presence of the sun. She certainly rotated around his elusive presence.
“So,” Lucy said, jolting her from her thoughts. “Now that you’ve been here for nearly a week, how do you find it?”
Susannah looked up. She and Lucy were changing the sheets on the Earl’s bed. Susannah tugged the fresh cases onto the pillows. The sheets were thick and soft. Even just looking at them was luxurious.
“It’s everything that I wanted,” Susannah said, tossing the pillows onto the head of the bed. “A good job with very decent wages.” She tugged on the ends of the duvet, straightening it then smoothing a hand over the top. It was a soft red velvet. “I don’t need anything more.”
“I wish I could be so content,” Lucy replied, lifting up the dirty sheets and placing them into a basket to be taken down to the laundry.
“What more can you want?” Susannah asked. “I mean, we’re out of Lidcote. We’re living in London.” The past week had been the best and the worst of Susannah’s entire life. She felt as though she’d finally found where she belonged. The household ran like a well-oiled machine. Everyone had their jobs and was paid for them well. But there was also a lingering feeling of guilt. She had run away, leaving her parents to worry for her safety. She had lied and was continuing to lie to everyone there in the household.
“I’d like, someday, to settle down,” Lucy replied, a far-off look in her eyes as she stood with her hands on her hips. “A husband and a few children. A house of my own.” She finished straightening the pillows, then looked at Susannah. “Surely, you want that, too?”
“Not at all,” Susannah replied with a firm shake of her head. “I just got free of my father. Why would I want another tyrant and one who is bound to me for the rest of my life?” She laughed shaking her head. “No. I can’t say that I do.”
“So, you’re going to clean house for his lordship the rest of your life?” Lucy raised an eyebrow.
Susannah cocked her head to the side as she considered it. It wouldn’t be awful. In her mind she pictured him finally taking notice of her. What would he say? What would she do?
“That wouldn’t be so bad,” she replied. “A nice house like this…maybe someday, I’ll get to be the housekeeper.”
Lucy eyed her shrewdly. “Lord Malmore’s handsome, is he not?” she asked.
“You can always read my mind,” Susannah replied, picking up the basket of dirty sheets. The scent of Lord Malmore’s skin rose from the sheets. It was masculine, spicy, it drove her wild with desire.
“It’ll never happen,” Lucy told her. “You and I are as good as invisible. You’ll see.”
They left the room, walking down the hallway. Susannah was quiet. Perhaps Lucy was right. She had been there longest, after all. But a girl could still dream. She was a person with thoughts and feelings that she couldn’t deny. She would just keep them to herself.
Susannah knew, if Lord Malmore ever looked her way, she wouldn’t mind. She had come in pursuit of a life and she was going to live it wholeheartedly.
She found that she was both afraid and excited at the same time. The two of them dropped the dirty sheets down in the laundry room where Simone did the Earl’s laundry every day.
After they had finished, the two of them stopped down in the kitchen. Now that they were done with straightening the Earl’s bedchamber, they were allowed a break before they were expected to spend the afternoon dusting and then cleaning the floors. It wasn’t a large house but both Mr. Howard and Mrs. Braithwaite expected a top-to-bottom clean every day.
* * *
That morning, Adam received a letter from his father, the Marquess of Wiltshire. Even before the seal was broken, Adam knew that it was about the dissolution of his engagement to Lady Cecily. As if its occurrence wasn’t punishment enough. He unfolded the letter with a feeling of dread.
Dear Adam,
Your mother and I have recently received word that your engagement has fallen through. We urge you, as the heir to Wiltshire, you must marry.
Put aside your vainglorious pursuits in the laboratory. There is nothing for you there. If there is no heir, then the title and Wiltshire Manor will go to your cousin, Lord Falmouth. I will tell you this: I would rather be drawn and quartered than for my estate and title go into Falmouth’s hands.
Your mother and I will be forced to come to London for the season, to ensure that you are getting out among society.
Regards,
Your Father
Adam stared at the letter in horror. Should his parents come into London, then he would be forced out of his lab. It had been nearly two years since they had attempted to force him to do anything. That hadn’t gone well at all.
He recalled their last disagreement when they had wanted him to leave Oxford in the wake of his brother’s death. Adam had refused. His father had wanted him to return to the county seat so he could learn all of the things necessary to being the heir and the Earl of Malmore.
His father and mother had shown up at Oxford themselves to collect him. Adam had refused to leave. His mother ended up brokering a deal between him and his father. Adam had been allowed to finish his studies with the agreement that as soon as he graduated, he come right to Wiltshire.
He slumped backward in his seat wondering how he could possibly call his father off. He knew that his mother was wholly in agreement with his father on this matter. There would be no eleventh-hour intercession on her part this time.
Which meant that Adam had to find a lady whom he could stand long enough to wed. Unless…unless he had the invention. Unless he was too busy to attend balls.
He got up striding out of the dining room. He went directly t
o his study where he pulled out a fresh sheet of paper and then dipped his quill into the inkwell. He wrote quickly, the words flowing from the tip of his implement.
Dear Father,
I have recently come up with my life’s greatest work. I will be far too busy attending salons to attend the matters of the ton this season. I understand that you wish me to marry, as well as your reasons why. However, I am increasing the value of the estate nearly trifold. Come Spring, I will begin my search for a wife. I promise you. I will not rest until I find her.
Regards,
Your Son
He sat back, pleased with himself. It wasn’t entirely true, but it would give him until the spring at least to come up with a valid reason why he wasn’t searching for a wife. He just wanted everyone to be happy, himself included.
Lured Into Sin By The Wicked Earl (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 4