by L. S. Scott
“Oh my God,” he panted as her hips began to roll, sliding her up and down his length. “I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you so bad Natalie,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers.
“Make love to me Jaron, make love to me and don’t stop.”
“What happened,” Natalie asked as they lay still and she traced her fingertips along Jaron’s bruised jaw.
He turned his lips into her hand to kiss her palm and tightened his arm around her, pulling her closer.
“Fighting,” he answered lazily.
“For what reason,” she quizzed further.
“Money, therapy,” he chuckled.
“Were you cage fighting, for Nick,” she said, starting to put it together.
“How do you know him,” Jaron asked, suddenly wide awake.
“I met him years ago, when I first came here. How do you know him?”
“He recruited me; saw me at some underground fights. I train at his gym in Houston. I won some tournament a few weeks back and it led me here.”
“Since when are you a mixed martial artist?”
“I’m not. I have zero technique,” he answered.
“But you win.”
“Pain and anger. I don’t know if I still have that kind of fury now.”
“But that’s what you do now, you’re a cage fighter,” she questioned, her voice thick with troubled confusion.
“Blaine Black is a cage fighter, not me.”
“How could Nick keep this from,” she tried to sit up.
“He knows me as Blaine, he don’t know anything about Jaron. Hell I only knew bits and pieces and I’m not even sure how much of that’s real.” He pulled her back to his chest.
“We should soak in the tub,” she said randomly.
“Hmm,” he responded to her sudden change of topic.
“You’re all beat up,” she said, skimming his bruised ribs with her palm. “We should soak in the tub and talk, about you, about us. I can answer your question.”
“What question?”
“Who’s Jaron Blake,” she replied.
“I have a memory like this,” Jaron said as he poured water from his cupped hands onto Natalie’s shoulders. “Just like this, in this room.”
“Yeah, that was a few days before our accident,” she spoke softly.
“Before that, I was in jail. That’s why we were separated?”
“Yeah, for six years. Did Janna not tell you all this?”
“She told me some fairy tale version of my life, but I knew something wasn’t right. I don’t know what she thought was going to happen if I remembered,” he mused aloud, swirling the warm water with his fingers.
“She was just trying to protect you as usual,” Natalie defended.
“By keeping us apart? I’ve been going insane trying to figure out who the hell I really am, who you were. I could sense you. In my mind I could see you from a distance, from behind, but could never make out your face.”
“Do you want me to tell you, from the beginning?”
“Yes, tell me everything.”
“Well, it all started with a game of pool…..”
Chapter Ten
Connor rode the elevator up to his hotel suite, thumbing through his phone. His eyes were drawn together and his lips a tight line as he sent yet another text to Natalie. Just as he had feared she would do, she had not answered his calls the entire day. Her last communication came in the form of a one word text early that morning, ‘good’ was her only response when he had sent a text asking how she was doing. At least he was able to confirm that she had indeed been at work until after 7:00p.m. Saturday night. It was definitely going to be a long twenty-four hours until he was back home.
Showered and relaxed in his suite after a long day of meetings and checking out a rather large property near the beach in the damp Mississippi heat, Connor reached for his phone to give Natalie another call. A relieved smile parted his lips when it rang in his hand, but quickly faded when it was not Natalie’s name on the display.
“Hello,” Connor answered.
“Connor,” a slightly familiar voice responded.
“Yes, this is Connor.”
“Connor, I’m sorry to bother you, but this is Greg Taylor.”
“Greg,” Connor smirked unhappily. “Let me guess, Natalie contacted you.”
“No,” Greg answered flatly.
A deep sick feeling started to rise in the pit of Connor’s stomach.
“Was she trying to reach me,” Greg asked.
“No,” Connor paused for an encouraging breath. “She, uh, yesterday, she said she saw Jaron,” Connor said snappily, struggling to force the words from his mouth.
Greg’s silent reaction increased Connor’s anxiety.
“What’s this about Greg?”
“I hate to have this conversation over the phone.”
“Get to the point Greg.”
“Jaron, he’s alive.”
Connor felt the floor move under his feet. His life, his future, his heart, it all began to crumble with those three words.
“I’m sorry Connor. I know this is unfair to you.”
“Unfair to me? You have no clue what Natalie has been through. How is this possible?”
“I guess it is best to just start from the night of the accident,” Greg declared.
“Yeah, the night you told me he was dead; implored me to care for Natalie, because you knew,” Connor’s jaw clenched to the point of pain. “You knew it would destroy her.”
“Jaron had hours, maybe less. His liver and a kidney had been crushed. Nothing short of a liver transplant would save him and even then it would take a miracle for him to survive.”
Connor listened with his fingers clenched tightly around his forehead, his eyes closed.
“My older brother Michael, he’s a geneticist,” Greg continued. “His particular field of study is organ cloning and the lab that he works for had successfully cloned several organs, but there is no way to know for certain if they are viable without,” he paused.
“Without human experimentation,” Connor interjected.
“Yes,” Greg confirmed. “I made the call and the lab picked him up immediately. He was an ex-con with no health insurance, the hospital was glad to release him. He was in a medically induced coma for almost a year, another year of grueling therapy and he had total amnesia. In the beginning we made the decision to tell you he was gone, to allow Natalie to move on because his odds were so low, honestly, we never expected him to recover. At the time it seemed like the best thing to do, for her and for you. Janna didn’t tell him anything about Natalie when she started telling him about his life, who he was. We’re in Washington now; he hasn’t even been back to Arkansas. At first he seemed to accept things, his new life, but once his rehab was complete and his body was almost back to normal, the old Jaron started coming back; dinner at six every night, up by six every morning. He became restless and irritated, and then one day, about three and a half months ago, he disappeared. He cleaned out his bank account, took a few clothes and was gone. We’ve been searching ever since, and then last night one of our investigators called. He saw Jaron fighting in a televised MMA fight, broadcasting from Las Vegas, only he was fighting as Blaine Black.”
Greg stopped to give Connor a minute to process.
“We don’t know how much he remembers, but,” Connor cut him short.
“But, the second he sees Natalie, he’ll know,” Connor thought aloud.
“Yeah Connor, I’m pretty sure he will.”
Connor took a deep labored breath, the tightening in his chest and the constricting muscles in his throat nearly choking him.
“Are you alright,” Greg asked sincerely concerned and guilt ridden.
“Is he stable? I mean, you don’t think he’ll hurt her, do you?”
“No, I don’t think he will hurt her,” Greg said.
“Is that all, anymore revelations,” Connor asked derisively.
“No. We jus
t, we just want to make sure he’s ok. After the physical trauma he went through, cage fighting isn’t really the best idea. He needs to see a doctor soon.”
“Hmph,” Connor huffed, not really motivated to be concerned with Jaron’s well-being.
“Again Connor, I am sorry. Whatever happens next, however this turns out, well, I just want to say thank you. Natalie is like family. Thank you for being there for her.” Awkward silence. “You have my number, ok, goodbye.”
Connor leaned back into the plush couch cushions and stared across the room, grateful for the unfamiliar surroundings; a room that is unmarked by memories of Natalie. His heart told him to get on the next plane home; find Natalie and hold on tight. But, his head said stay, stay in Mississippi where there is no trace of Natalie Mills, where he didn’t see her, smell her, remember moments with her with every step he made. If she were distraught and needed him, she would have called. No doubt, she and Jaron had found one another, hence the unanswered calls and texts. Him rushing back to stand between their reunion would only upset her. The best thing he could do, the most decent thing he could do, was give them space; even though he was certain that a broken heart would be the reward for his gallantry. He had come to realize he was only an extra in the love story of Natalie and Jaron and it was time for him to exit, stage left.
“I can’t believe you’ve been alive all this time,” Natalie said as she stared at Jaron in the bathroom mirror.
He smiled back at her with a mouthful of toothpaste then spit and rinsed. She snaked her arms around his waist and ran her fingers across the jagged scar that crossed his entire abdomen. He looked like he had been sawed in half. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes as the memory of that night began to play out in her mind.
“Sshh, now don’t cry. It’s all over now,” he comforted, holding her close.
“What were you thinking? Cage fighting, after what you’ve been through,” Natalie scolded.
“It led me to you, right? So, it was what I was supposed to do and now I’m done. What about you Natalie,” he looked down to study her expression. “You have some decisions to make. You have a home. You’re in a relationship. We’ve been apart for the better part of ten years. Are you sure that what you’re feeling right now isn’t just from shock? It’s going to be a whole other ballgame when you’re face to face with the man you’ve spent these last few years with. If you want to get real about it, you’ve been with him longer than you’ve been with me.”
Natalie sunk into his blue eyes and thought about her true feelings, choosing her words carefully. “I have been with Connor for a little over four years, and I have loved him for at least three,” Jaron winced at her declaration. “But I have been yours, heart and soul, since I was seventeen years old; time and distance didn’t change that. Connor is a good man and I do love him; for who he is; for all the wonderful things he has done for me, but I will never be in love with anyone the way I am in love with you, Jaron Blake. As long as you’re drawing breath, I could never be happy anywhere but with you.”
Jaron swallowed hard the lump in his throat. “Thank God,” he whispered as he wrapped her up and held her tight.
Chapter Eleven
Connor left the airport and drove straight home, he wanted to avoid any confrontations at the hotel. He was certain, that if Natalie was at home, she would be alone. She would never bring Jaron to their home. The absence of her car was a clear sign she wasn’t there. The presence of her clothes in the closet meant she had not left, yet. He held no false hope that she would stay, that she loved him more than Jaron. He had always known that she was only with him by default, she was never truly his. Once the first wave of emotion from being submerged back into life with Natalie passed, he gathered his nerve and texted her.
I’m home. We should talk
He was surprised by her quick response.
Yes I will be there at 7
That would be the most stressful two hours of his life; sitting and waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the woman he loved to come and tell him goodbye. Even though he knew what was coming, it was actually a relief when she finally walked in the door.
She entered slowly almost cautiously and found him standing in front of the picture window, staring outside, his arms crossed protectively over his chest, one hand cupped around his chin. He turned to see her standing with a stunned, hurt look on her face. Instantly, her eyes filled with apologetic tears. He resisted the urge to take her in his arms; to try and make everything ok. Holding her would only make it harder to let go. He cleared his throat hoping his voice wouldn’t crack when he spoke.
“Greg called me last night. He explained everything. I understand Natalie.” She trembled as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Connor, I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Connor pressed his lips into a forced half-hearted grimaced grin and shook his head and willed his eyes to stay dry.
“From the first day I met you, I just wanted to see you happy. And I hope that in the time that we spent together, you found some happiness. But I know that our time is over and what I have to do now is let you go. And I can do that because I know that you will finally be whole and truly happy; and I want that for you, more than anything.”
“I don’t know what to say, how to thank you,” she said shakily.
“Just live well Natalie. Live well knowing that you made the right decision and that I am happy for you,” his words betrayed the feelings of loss ripping at his heart. “I’m going to stay at the hotel for a few days, give you a chance to get your things. I’ll be gone tomorrow morning by eight,” he paused. “He should call Greg and Janna. They’re very worried.”
“Ok,” she nodded with a deep steadying breath.
He crossed the room and walked her to the front door.
“Thank you,” he said glancing down at her, afraid to look in her eyes standing so close. She looked up at him with a furrowed brow, confused. “For waiting, until I came back, allowing me to say goodbye.”
Her tears welled again and she threw her arms around his neck. He stiffened. He felt his façade start to crack. He hugged her for what he knew was the last time and pulled her back by her shoulders.
“Connor I,” she sniffled.
“Ssshh, don’t. Just say goodbye Natalie.”
She swiped at her tear stained cheeks with the back of her hand, took a deep breath, “Goodbye Connor,” she said as resolutely as she could.
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Goodbye Natalie.”
He opened the door and watched her walk down the steps, voices warring in his head. One saying, please don’t look back, the other crying please turn around. He closed the door before he saw her get in the car. He stood with his back pressed against it, his fingernails digging into the wood. He heard the car door shut, the motor start and the car pull away. When the sound faded completely and he knew she was gone, his façade crumbled. His shoulders slumped. He buried his face in his hands as his body slid down the door into the floor, where he cried shamelessly.
The next day, Natalie returned and boxed all of her belongings up to be shipped back to Arkansas. She and Jaron had decided to fly, first to Washington to visit his doctor and gather his belongings and then home; home to their little white farm house on an old country road in Arkansas. She was amazed by Connor. He always knew what she needed, whether it was angry sex, a gentle hug or in this case, a simple goodbye and his blessing. With her things all packed and loaded, she left her cell phone, her house key and a letter on the kitchen table.
Dear Connor,
There was so much I wanted to say to you, but I was blown away by your grace and kindness. You are an amazing man. You loved me, stood by me and gave me your best, when I was at my worst. And you deserve so much more than I ever had to give. There is someone amazing out there that deserves you more than I ever did. Thank you, for being you.
Love,
Natalie
P.S. Someone from the youth ranch will be
coming to pick up Ghost. I know she will love it there.
Chapter Twelve
Natalie breathed in deep and out slow, a shaky breath, as Jaron drove their rental car down the bumpy county road. He covered her hand with his and pulled it over to rest on his thigh, reassurance for them both.
“Are you ok,” he asked smiling over at her.
“Yeah,” she nodded “It’s just been a while and the last time I was here…”
He pressed her fingers to his lips and kissed her knuckles then her engagement ring, the very one he had purchased for her and slid on her finger at the Grand Canyon. “I know. But we’re here together now.”
“You’re right,” she smiled and took another deep breath.
When they turned in the drive Natalie’s smile widened. Several cars were parked in the yard. A big WELCOME HOME sign hung on the porch railing.
“Oh my gosh. Jaron, did you know about this?”
“Maybe,” he said, flashing that roguish smile that had only gotten sexier with age.
First out the door was baby Olive. She ran up to Natalie and Natalie swept her into her arms and spun her around; both of them giggling uncontrollably. Jaron caught them when Natalie stumbled dizzily.
“Olive, this is your uncle Jaron. Jaron, this is baby Olive.”
“It is nice to meet you Olive,” Jaron said, shaking her tiny hand sweetly.
She grinned and giggled and squirmed free. Natalie looked up to see Jake and Tiffany waiting at the bottom of the steps with tear filled smiles, followed closely by Ed, Meredith and even Nate. Standing in the doorway, Janna and Greg waited patiently for their turn to hug and welcome them home. Janna held them both tightly, her tears soaking Jaron’s shirt as she buried her head in his chest.
Standing in the entry, Natalie noticed a familiar silhouette. “Nick?! What in the world are you doing here,” she asked surprised he would make the trip for a welcome home party. She knew that Jaron had spoken to him on the phone several times and even though he was disappointed that Blaine Black would no longer be fighting for the Tehas Terrors, the two had obviously become friends. But to make the trip to Arkansas….