About an hour later I was able to rescue Nicole from the organized chaos of a large, extended family life. She too liked my idea of running for office, but she took me aside and asked, “Have you considered the events of our past? Are you absolutely sure they will remain safely buried?” I asked, “We covered our tracks, didn’t we? Why worry now?” She sighed, “That’s just me. Maybe we should sit down and take an inventory.” She called Matt and asked him to watch the children for a few minutes. We went upstairs to the bedroom and discussed each and every person she and I had killed together. We contemplated if there was even an iota of a chance that some enterprising reporter could ever uncover anything to connect me to any killing. We were both confident that nothing existed that could arouse any suspicions.
That was not the only thing I had wanted to talk with her about though. It was there that we made up our rules for family life. I promised her I would try to be dressed when the kids were present if she could make sure she did not show any public signs of physical affection to me or Matt as the kids were getting older. I especially wanted that to apply to us since I wanted the children to grow up in an atmosphere that was, on the face of it, not unusual. I figured that when they were older they could be told about Matt having two wives. As for the other aspects of our relationship, that could be kept secret indefinitely I hoped.
Nicole asked, “How about when we are all together and the kids are in bed?” I looked at her and asked what she meant. She formed the face of a prankish child and asked, “Are you sure you and Matt aren’t into the idea…I mean after all if we are all married and such and…” I laughed, “No! No way. I mean I don’t think so. Look, let’s keep it simple, okay? I don’t know if I would feel comfortable watching you and Matt make out, much less making a baby. However, if you two want to hold hands when we are all alone together that would be sweet. Besides, he has made it clear he has no interest watching you and I going at it. And so absolutely no talk of any group activities, okay?” She joked, “No I wouldn’t want Matt to have a heart attack.” I froze for a moment and Nicole rushed over to apologize. I said it was okay and Nicole assured me, “Matt can out-run even you, so he’s going to be around a very long time.” I held her tight and apologized, “Sorry, I am still sensitive to certain memories.”
Chapter 21
So there I was, a little over a year after re-uniting with my family and making a donation at the local blood bank. I did not intentionally plan to meet a reporter from the campus newspaper to get publicity for my act of charity, but seeing that he wanted an interview and we both had a busy schedule, and that the donation clinic was near campus, it was perfect. When he finally showed up he took a picture and sat down to start his interview with the youngest state senator-elect to the Oregon legislature! Of course he could have no idea that my donation had less to do with “giving back to the community,” whatever that was supposed to mean, and more to do with a conditioned response – an association between the maternal comfort I had felt with Bethany and having my blood taken. That would be an interesting story for him; but no, he would get the standard line about my being all “ready to serve the public, and feeling like this is a way to help those in need.”
Too bad I could not give him an exclusive story about the last year and a half of my life. No, nobody was going to find out all those details. Just knowing I had so many secrets, and had been able to keep them all nicely packed away, gave me a sense of control that felt really gratifying. Of course, the skeletons that could threaten the life I had built were not so much in my closet but at the bottom of the Columbia River. I considered my family life cutting edge but in politics you have to play to the majority so I it was conventional images of a young career mother the voters would get. My public persona was carefully constructed by Dr. Hodge and me. And while some might feel I was a hypocrite in promoting a traditional conservative message while living a rather unconventional lifestyle I truly believed in my message of constitutional values and family…I just had a version of family which would probably not be accepted by mainstream voters.
For instance, when I would speak for groups who had a more conservative position I had no trouble talking about the importance of mothers and fathers being there for their children, and the advantages of the traditional family model. I did not have to let on that my idea of traditional families extended back to Old Testament days. And I am sure many conservatives would be shocked if one were to speculate that some of those harems in Biblical days had their fair share of more “unconventional” ways of interacting between the wives. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the loud cheers of applause from the people in the audience when I said I would champion maternalism over materialism.
Yet those were not the only people I enjoyed talking to. Unlike most politicians who only like to speak for the groups they feel comfortable with, I seemed remarkably at ease talking to everyone. If I went before environmentalists, I spoke of my love for nature and I truly believe I conveyed that closeness to them since they responded to me quite well – of course they did not endorse me, I am a Republican after all, but in their announcements, newsletters and blogs they were almost apologetic in not being able to support me since I was considered too “pro-business” and I had voiced support for liberalization of the use of genetically modified livestock and produce.
I was even willing to speak for gay rights groups. How did I pull that one off? Simple, I found a pro-Republican lesbian couple who had just had their first child through artificial insemination. I brought the mothers and their baby with me to a forum and praised the power of women making choices and being able to raise children no matter what their orientation. By the time my presentation was over practically every woman in the group was applauding me and that was after maneuvering through the whole sticky issue of gay marriage. I only hoped the priestess who had married Nicole and I together had long since forgotten what I looked like and never wound up at one of these events.
Of course the hardest group for me to speak in front of was the teacher’s organizations. I figured I would not get their endorsement anyway, so I made a special speech just for them. I got up and asked them if would send their child into a place where they knew they would be physically and emotionally taunted all day – and that if they ran away, they would be the ones getting in trouble, or their parents. I then said that schools needed to do more to safeguard the children and not sugarcoat the bullying with nice sounding, but empty, mission statements of promoting respect and tolerance for one another and then turn a blind eye when someone is being tossed around like a rag doll during their watch. Surprisingly, I had a lot of them applaud my speech, and many teachers praising me for my remarks, but not surprisingly I did not get an endorsement. I did, however, get invited to speak at my former high school, in the Lindberg resource room, to which I was confronted with so many memories of events that forever shaped my life. Yet I could not help but marvel at the irony of speaking to the students as a portrait of the man who introduced me to killing hung behind me.
As for my home life, we had waited to see if I were going to win the race so we would know where to move afterwards since I needed to live within the borders of my district. Yet no matter what I could spend as much time as I pleased at Nicole’s residence; which was convenient since I often wound up taking the children there so she could watch them. Sadly, she and Matt did not get a lot of time to spend together during her pregnancy due to his work duties, so it often felt like it was still her and I as it always had been. We figured that after we moved closer together all of us could benefit from having a built-in daycare situation where two of us, Matt and Nicole, Nicole and I or Matt and I, could spend quality time together and someone would always be there for the children.
Of course, Nicole and I went to Boise together a month after my return to speak for the police group that had invited my campaign manager, Dr. Hodge, to speak. I had also asked for a book signing so he negotiated with the police to get that and the seminar it the hotel where I had
been refused entrance. When we arrived I was entirely overjoyed to see the clerks at the desk were the same couple that had been so rude to me earlier. After the seminar was over, I walked over to the desk with Nicole and struck up a conversation, “I just wanted to compliment you on how wonderful and nice your hotel staff has been.” They both smiled and the woman stated, “It’s our job to make our guests feel right at home. Thank you!” I nodded my head and looked directly at her as I asked, “While we are here, is it okay to use your names when on some talk show or in a future book?” Of course I was recording their reply. She cheerful and said, “Certainly, you have our permission!” Their bubbly manner changed when asked, “I uh…I was just wondering if you remember a woman coming in here last month…she had a mini-skirt on and a cut on her left thigh and looked a bit out-of-it. Now let me see, she would have had hair about my length and she would have been my height.” The man continued smiling but the woman looked as though she had gone deep into thought. I continued, “I’m just wondering if such a woman might have been injured while hiking or mountain biking?” When the woman’s jaw dropped I realized she recognized me and so we departed. When I turned around she nudged the guy whose expression changed from pleased to a bit worried. Of course I had no intention of doing anything vindictive. The look on their faces as I held up my cell phone to remind them I had filmed our conversation was quite adequate revenge. I hoped they feared for their jobs for a long time after our encounter.
After my rendezvous with the clerks we excused ourselves from Dr. Hodge and borrowed his car to go to the bank. We only withdrew a fraction of the money; enough to make up for what Matt had spent trying to find me and to cover Nicole’s living expenses until we were able to move. Later Dr. Hodge suggested that it could be cathartic to drive by the burnt out house later. I did not really think closure was all that necessary for me, but when we reached the ruins and saw a “for sale” sign in front of the now-flattened property, I did feel everything had been laid to rest. I felt totally at ease by the time Matt and I returned to Boise just before Christmas to retrieve the rest of the money.
Yet even with the demise of Vincent I did not let his positive lessons go to waste. I planned on using his lessons on carpentry and engineering so that when I had a place in the country I would make sure we would be as independent as possible in regards to food and energy. And one thing that was nice about Nicole and Matt being together was that it provided me the opportunity to engage in extreme survival. Matt thought I was absolutely insane but he gave in to my demands. When I had several days in a row with no obligations he would take me to isolated areas in the Cascades, at the coast and sometimes in the desert. I would choose a place to be dropped off and once there I would strip off of all clothing before embarking on my little adventures. Matt did, however, insist I take a small GPS device to have in my camping area in case I was eaten by a bear or something.
While on these outings I discovered how amazingly easy it was to master one’s body and survive on whatever one could pick up, dig up or eventually kill. I learned to interact with nature as an equal, and in the process I developed a deeper sense of spirituality as my senses seemed to become more sensitive and my mind opened up to insights and inspirations that I was convinced were not a product of my own mind. I loved those moments of at once being at nature’s total mercy as well as being in my Creator’s care. It was then I fully became aware of how it was civilization itself that clouded the human mind; that corrupted the human mind and limited its potential. I am not sure Matt could fully appreciate my insights or activities though. On my first two excursions I had only been able to find protein under rocks or wood…the kind of stuff a child might put in a bottle for show-and-tell I put into my stomach. Yet on the third trip, this one in the mountains behind Cougar Reservoir, I had fashioned a spear. And the day before Matt was to pick me up I was able to connect to Vincent’s teachings so much so that I was able to stalk a small male deer for two hours before finding it eating in a meadow. I used the stealth of a mountain lion to close in on him. It required extreme patience as I moved closer…closer and then, bursting forward with all my speed and strength I thrust the spear into the hapless deer. It let out a scream and I immediately wrestled it down and pinned it as it attempted to kick me and get away until I finally got a firm grasp on my spear and forced it deeper into the animal until the steam of its breath ceased from streaming out of its nose and mouth! I was starving but I wanted nothing to go to waste. I quickly found a sharp rock and sliced open its belly and pulled the guts out of the animal. I pulled it away from the pile of warm organs and then separated some of the intestine and wrapped it around my arm. I proceeded to pull it over to a tall tree and then I carefully put the carcass on a tall branch and used the intestine to fasten the body in place. This would allow the remaining blood to drain as well as protect my kill from scavenging predators. I tried to build a fire but it was raining so I cult a chunk of meat form the leg and made it my dinner that evening. Of course the next day when Matt showed up he was in utter shock as I emerged from the forest carrying the carcass on my shoulders. It must have been a scary sight for as his naked wife emerged from the dense forest undergrowth covered in dirt and blood and carrying a dead animal around her neck. Yet he greeted me saying, “You are completely unbelievable, you know that?” I threw the deer down behind the car and without saying a word pounced on him with a primitive ferocity that combined the forces of eroticism with a total abandonment of any sort of human thought or inhibition. By the time it was over I was happy to find that I had not hurt Matt in any way because I was not in control in any sense of the word as we connected, not as man and wife but as male and female on the cold, wet ground. Afterwards Matt sat up and surveyed his torn, bloody shirt and he spoke, “Wow…I uh…” I interrupted, in a deeper voice than I was used to hearing from myself, “Want to taste some of my kill?” I am not sure why I said that but he stood up and replied, “Let’s take it home and let everyone share in your success. Maybe you should wash off now and get dressed.” For some reason I rolled over and sat up on my knees and growled, “Why?” He turned and looked down at me as if I were a wild primate that might not be tamed anymore. I suddenly snapped out of whatever state I had fallen into and said, “Yes. Of course you are right. The deer needs to be cut up and put in our freezer immediately.” I stood up and headed for the water trickling down the stream by the side of the road and then Matt called out, “Melanie, can I get a picture of you? You look fantastic!” I chuckled, “Sure but make sure you hide it well, okay?” He took his camera phone from the car and asked, “Can you pose with the deer on your back again?” I was surprised. He took a variety of poses and then commented, “These are so awesome! Not every man is blessed with a woman who can be a lioness one day and a state legislator the next.” I noted, “I haven’t won the election yet. And if you let those pictures out I will lose any hope of animal lovers voting for me.” He nodded, “True but you would get the hunter’s votes.” I walked to the spring and began washing off. Matt laid out an old blanket in his car and when I returned he handed me my clothes and commented, “There! We’ve got to go now. If a forest ranger finds out you poached a deer out-of-season you’ll probably wind up in jail rather than the state capitol.” As we drove off together I wondered what the voters in my district would think about my new hobby. I suppose they would think I had a mental condition. I laughed as I considered that the state mental hospital and the Oregon legislature were both in the same city of Salem.
While Vincent had sparked my interest in political matters, and trained me in the art of survival, Bethany’s influence would be great as well. I could feel her presence many times…I just knew it! And when I was with my family, and the whole family, I was delighted that she had given me the inspiration to return to them. I resumed my lessons with my children, as well as with Nicole’s children, so they would far exceed their peers. Nicole thought I was a bit obsessive but I had her daughter and my twins reading books long before o
ther children their age.
Speaking of her kids, Matt and I were both there for the delivery of Nicole’s third daughter. Sure enough she gave birth in May to a beautiful daughter with bright blonde hair and blue eyes. The grey haired nurse commented, “That baby sure looks like her father!” to which Matt, holding his new daughter said, “I don’t know, she looks like her sisters actually.” He then stopped for a very awkward moment…looked away from his daughter, and muttered something I could not hear while shaking his head and breaking out into laughter. He then cuddled his baby and gave me a funny smile which he usually reserved for when he knew something, but was not going to say what. In return I smiled when he chose this moment to break one of our little rules and he leaned over Nicole and kissed her and told her he loved her. He gave Nicole her little girl and then came over to me, kissed me and said, “I love you very much but you have to excuse me. I need to go out for a minute.” I asked, “Is anything wrong Matt?” He sighed, rolled his eyes and said, “Nothing is wrong, nothing at all, I just have to say I absolutely adore you.” He was still laughing as he went out to the waiting room. Nicole asked, “You think he knows?” I took her hand and nodded my head. I went out to see him and asked, “Please Matt, you have to tell me what’s up?” He sat down on the couch and sprawled himself out, “It’s okay Melanie, it really is. I thought this was going to be a joyous day and it turned out to be even more fantastic than I could ever have imagined. You just have to understand that I need a moment to take everything in…unless you have something you would like to share?” I sighed, “Well can we talk about it later?” He nodded his head and held out his arms. We hugged and he said, “Don’t forget…later!”
Deliverance from Evil Page 35