by Frost Kay
She blew out a breath and smoothed her dirty hands down her shirt. Now was not the time to lose it. Hazel carefully edged around the room and crept through the aisles to where Mesa and Baz sat. She sank into the chair next to Mesa and breathed a sigh of relief when she only earned a few glares.
“Where have you been?” Mesa whispered underneath her breath.
“Weeding.”
Mesa’s aqua eyes glanced in her direction. “That explains the red nose. How many times did you put sunscreen on today?”
Hazel smiled and leaned her cheek against Mesa’s shoulder. “An hour ago, Mother.”
Her friend flicked her on the nose. She rubbed at her stinging skin and glared up at her. “Not cool.”
“Neither is being late for blending rehearsal,” Baz grumbled next to her.
She leaned forward and gave him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”
He rolled his hazel eyes that were browner than green and flashed her a smile full of white teeth. “Only you would lose track of time for the blending.”
“It’s not like it’s today,” she whispered. “It’s rehearsal. I don’t understand why we need to practice anyway. We all know what to do. You stand when your name is called, and you accept or you don’t. It’s simple.”
“Only you would simplify a massive wedding ceremony to one sentence.” Baz pushed his tawny hair from his face and reached out to tug on her ponytail. “Have you decided yet?”
Hazel’s stomach rolled. “No,” she said, trying to ignore the looks of sympathy the childhood sweethearts were throwing her way. They knew this day would be hard for her.
“We miss him, too,” Mesa said, slipping her hand into Hazel’s. “I still can’t believe Matt’s gone.”
“He only had two weeks left,” Hazel whispered, the cement floor blurring as heat filled her eyes. She promised herself she wouldn’t cry. “Two weeks, and then he’d have been free.” She blew out a breath. “Two weeks left of his protection detail. Life is downright vengeful.”
“He loved you, you know…” Baz said, reaching his hand behind Mesa to clasp the back of Hazel’s neck.
She smiled, blinking back her tears. “I know. He was one of the few to notice me. We were never in love like you two, but we loved each other fiercely. He was my best friend, and I would have done anything for him. He was my family.” Both had lost parents. They dreamed of making their own family. “Matt would have made a wonderful leader, and father.”
Baz squeezed the back of her neck gently. “That he would have.”
“If he was here, he’d have been clowning around making everyone laugh,” Mesa murmured, a soft smile on her face. “His laugh was infectious.”
Hazel grinned despite the sorrow in her heart. “He could charm the pants off of almost anyone. It was practically criminal we were friends.”
Mesa rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I remember. He’d distract someone while you’d filch goodies.”
She shrugged, feeling a little lighter. “I was invisible. I was the perfect sneak.”
“Until you felt so guilty that you’d have to tell on yourself,” Baz teased.
She sniggered. “I couldn’t help it.”
“Baz, would you pipe down?” James, the balding blending proprietor snapped from the stage up front.
Mesa stifled a giggle.
“Sure thing,” Baz said. “I’m just so excited to marry this girl tomorrow.”
James’s thin lips twitched. That was as much of a smile as he could produce, apparently. “I’m sure,” he said dryly, before he continued on droning instructions.
Baz playfully glared at Mesa and her. “Why am I the one who gets in trouble for McGiggles over there?”
Hazel shrugged. “It’s a blessing and a curse. You should try being invisible sometime.”
Both of her friends sobered.
“You’ve never been invisible to us,” Baz said.
“Never,” Mesa reiterated. “But sometimes I think you encourage it.”
“Why wouldn’t I? Every time I’m the center of attention, it’s because I’m the butt end of a joke or a sneer.”
Baz and Mesa knew it was the truth. She never served the mandatory detail like everyone else. Sure, she served as a helper to the doctor, but that was inside the walls.
“He didn’t do you any favors by keeping you inside,” Mesa muttered.
“Don’t I know it,” Hazel said.
“What are you going to do?” Baz asked.
“What?” she asked.
“Tomorrow.”
Queasiness assaulted her. She didn’t need to ask what he meant. The blending. She’d have to make a choice. A choice that was permanent. When they said their vows, it was ‘til death do us part. Divorce was a thing of the past. “I don’t know. I have a lot of thinking to do tonight.”
“Who has approached you?” Mesa prodded.
“Jessy, Colton, Aaron.”
Baz snorted. “You’re not marrying Jessy. He’s a total tool.”
“They’re all tools. We all know why they offered for me.”
“Because you’re smart, kind, and beautiful?” Mesa supplied.
“Un huh,” Hazel muttered.
“Are those your only choices?”
She glanced at Baz, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. “They’re the only viable ones. Colton and Aaron are smart and courageous, from what my brothers say, but...” She snuck a glance at Colton, who had his arms thrown around two girls, and then to Aaron, who sat stoically down the row from him. Neither boy seemed right, and boys they were.
“But you’re the heir,” Mesa argued.
“The line continues through the female, but our leaders have always ruled by pairs. It’s what makes our community so successful. We need the advantage of both sexes.” She blew out a breath. “Now, I just have to pick someone that will be best for everyone.”
“No pressure or anything,” Baz retorted.
“And what about what’s best for you?” Mesa said softly.
She forced a smile to her face. “What’s best for Harbor is best for me.”
Baz and Mesa didn’t believe her. She could tell from the looks on their faces.
Hell, she didn’t believe it herself.
Four
Hazel
She rolled her neck and jogged toward home.
Holy bananas, the rehearsal was dull. James had droned on for another hour before they practiced walking. Bloody walking. It was ridiculous.
Hazel veered to the left and right, avoiding people, her faded boots kicking up red dirt behind her. The only interesting thing to happen was when Baz pulled her aside and handed her a letter. Curiosity tugged at her. What was in it? He’d made her promise to open it later when she was home with her family. That didn’t bode well.
She skirted around Mrs. Millian’s small but sturdy house and smiled in relief when her home came into sight. It was a medium-sized home that had once been white but was now a pinkish hue because of the sand and dirt. She grinned as a memory from school surfaced in her mind. At the age of five, she’d been shocked to find out that dirt and rocks weren’t only red. When she’d told her mama, she’d laughed. The next scavenger trip she went on, she brought Hazel a rainbow of colored rocks and a plastic bottle filled with different-colored soils.
Hazel smiled at the memory and focused on her home. She slowed and walked up the steps to the covered porch that wrapped around the whole place, hosting small tables and chairs to relax in.
She inhaled deeply, contentment filling her. She loved being home.
Brent’s voice boomed from inside, “Is that you, Haze?”
“Yeah,” she yelled back.
“It’s your turn to make dinner tonight, and I’m starving.”
Hazel yanked open the screen door, grinning. Her brothers were always starving, even if they had just eaten. The first floor was one giant room divided by a staircase in the center. She retied her hair into a bun while staring a
t their living room to the right. It held an old brown leather couch and two sturdy wooden chairs her brothers had made. A faded but clean rug decorated the worn wood floor in front of the fireplace. She eyed the socked feet propped up on the couch arm.
She tiptoed closer and slapped them. “No feet on the furniture.”
Brent sat up, scowling, his hair sticking up in every direction. “Hey, now. Don’t be like that.”
“You know the rules,” she retorted, cocking a hip. Hazel tossed him a saucy smile. “You weren’t raised in a barn.”
“Well … if you want to get technical, barn wood was used to repair this house, so…”
She rolled her eyes and leaned over the couch arm to plop a kiss on his cheek. “Always so contrary. How does spaghetti sound?”
“Positively delicious.” He licked his lips for emphasis.
Hazel pretended to gag and rounded the stair, entering the kitchen. “Could you light the woodstove in here?”
Brent groaned. “It’s too damn hot to light that.”
“Then start a fire in the pit and I’ll cook outside tonight,” she called while poking around their cabinets for some of her canned tomatoes.
“Will do, sis.”
She shook her head as boots tromped across the wooden floor; the screen slapped closed, signaling Brent’s departure. He walked everywhere with boot-stomping purpose. He was about a subtle as a gun.
Matt had been like that, too.
The thought stopped her in her tracks. Hazel rubbed at her chest where the ache began. Tomorrow would be so hard without him. She placed both hands on the dark wooden countertop and tried to breathe through her heartache. Matt seemed to haunt her every step these last few days. It seemed odd that all their plans turned to ash in just one moment. Their entire future disappeared in an instant, and in its place was a frightening new one. One that required her to marry a stranger.
“What am I to do, Matty?” she whispered, squeezing her eyes closed.
She didn’t have much more time to decide. Hazel exhaled and opened her eyes. Her decision needed to be made tonight. No sense in fretting about it now. She’d talk it over with Papa when he got home. He’d help her make the right decision. Shakily, she straightened and moved to the next cabinet. Deep red peeking out from between last year’s canned carrots caught her eye.
“There you are.”
She pushed the carrots aside and reached up, wrapping her fingers around a jar of tomatoes when hands skated up her sides, tickling her ribs. Hazel screeched and leapt in the air, spinning. Her brother Joseph stood smirking behind her, his light green eyes dancing with mirth.
“A little jumpy, sis?”
“You little devil,” Hazel growled, her fingers squeezing the glass filled with tomatoey goodness until they turned white. “I could have dropped the tomatoes!”
He eyed her clenched fingers. “I doubt you would have dropped them if the color of your fingers is anything to go by. Plus, I would have caught them if you had. I’m practically a ninja these days.”
Her eyes narrowed. “How do you know what ninjas are?”
“I read about them in a book once. They were renowned for their fighting skills and battle prowess.” He puffed up his chest. “Like me.”
She grumbled under her breath. It was probably true. He had exceptional reflexes, much to her chagrin. He moved like a damn cat.
“And I would never let the ingredients for spaghetti get ruined.” He smacked his lips. “It’s too precious to waste.”
She ignored him and plowed on while trying to open the lid of the tomatoes. “And you almost gave me a heart attack!”
“You’re much too young for a heart attack.”
“You don’t know that,” she grunted as she attempted to get the blasted lid off. “For all we know, you could’ve scared ten years off my life.”
Joseph brushed his shaggy blond hair from his face and held his hands out in surrender. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She snorted and gritted her teeth, twisting harder. “Of course you did, or you wouldn’t have snuck in here.”
He grinned, one side of his mouth turning up. “Okay, you’re right. But in my defense, you looked like you needed someone to cheer you up. You looked like a giant raincloud.”
Hazel stilled and glanced up at her brother. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Feel like sharing?”
“Not really,” she mumbled as she yanked on the jar.
“You need help?”
“No.” It was a jar for heaven’s sake. She should be able to open it.
Joseph crossed his arms and leaned back against the sturdy wooden table, crossing his feet at his ankles. That only meant one thing. He was settling in to have a long conversation with her about, God forbid, something serious.
“It doesn’t happen to have anything to do with the blending, does it?”
She flicked an annoyed glance in his direction. “Do we really have to do this now?”
“There’s not much time left, sis. Make a decision.”
Tension tightened her shoulders. Hazel gave up on opening the damn tomatoes and placed the jar into her brother’s waiting hands. “And what of Rose? Have you secured her acceptance yet?”
Joseph frowned at her. “It’s not that simple. She has children to think of.”
“Exactly. Nothing is simple. Nothing.”
With a quick flick of his wrist, he opened the tomatoes and held them out to her. She glared at the offending can and snatched it out of his huge hands. “I did all the hard work,” she mumbled.
Both siblings stared at each for a beat before bursting out in laughter. Joseph pushed off the table and wrapped his arms around her. Hazel managed to hug him back without dumping the tomatoes all over him. Barely.
“I love you so much, Hazel, and I’m sorry that he’s not here for tomorrow.”
She pressed her face into Joseph’s shirt, the acute heartache threatening to drown her. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Jo,” she whispered.
“I know, sissy,” he soothed, squeezing her tighter.
“What am I supposed to do tomorrow?”
“Trust your head.”
She smiled against his shirt. “Not my heart?”
“Never. All that organ ever does is get you into trouble and leave you alone while the object of its desire bears children for a man who doesn’t deserve her.”
Hazel squeezed her brother back. She wasn’t the only one to suffer from loss and heartache. “She was stupid. Hopefully, Rose won’t be.”
“Naw, Rose is smart. She’ll accept my offer.”
She pulled back and sat the tomatoes on the counter, then raised a brow at her brother. “That’s awfully cocky, brother.”
“Not cocky, confident. Her girls are her priority. If we were to marry, her girls would have protection they haven’t had since their father died. I can give them that protection.”
A bitter laugh escaped her. “What a pair we are. Men are offering for my awkward self to gain power over Harbor, and women are willing to accept your crazy ass because of the protection you can offer.”
“I wouldn’t call you awkward. Stunted, maybe…” He dodged out of the way when she tried to punch his arm. “And vicious.”
“You don’t know vicious,” Hazel joked, turning back to the counter. “Go bother Brent. I have dinner to prepare.”
Jo dropped a kiss on the top of her hair. “No doubt he’s started a fire the size of our house.”
She sniggered. “He’s always been a pyro. Make sure to curb his enthusiasm. I need to be able to get near it to cook.”
“’Kay.”
Hazel pulled a pot from the shelf underneath the counter and poured the tomatoes into it, lethargy hitting her hard. Today had been exhausting, and the worst was yet to come. She still had to talk to her father about the blending and broach the only subject he wouldn’t speak of.
Her mother.
Five
Hazel
“Dinner’s good, Hazel,” Jake said between bites.
She glanced up from her own bowl of spaghetti and smiled at her oldest brother, illuminated by lamplight. “Thank you. When’s Katie getting home?”
“Mrs. McShane is in labor, so she won’t be home ‘til tomorrow.”
Hazel hid a smile at his forlorn tone. Her brother was so in love with his loud, crass wife. Instead of choosing a home for themselves, they chose to stay with the family. Katie believed in keeping families together. The wild woman with gray eyes filled the house with laughter and smiles. Hazel counted herself lucky that she’d gained such an amazing sister-in-law.
Her gaze slid to her papa rocking in his chair on the porch, slowly turning a smooth stone in his hand. He was quiet tonight, which ratcheted up her nerves. When her father was quiet, it meant a storm was brewing. She glanced at Joseph, who was whittling away at something. She squinted and grinned at what he was working on. A little cat was forming in his hand.
“Creating storybook characters?” she asked.
Jo glanced in her direction and back to his project. “Cats aren’t fairy tales.”
“They might as well be,” Jake said. “The only cats I’ve ever seen want to rip my face off and eat me.”
“Jake.” Her papa’s sharp voice cracked through the night air like a whip.
Her brother fell silent and stared into his spaghetti bowl like it held the answers to the world.
She hated it when her father did this. Every time her brothers spoke of the world outside Harbor, he shut them down. He didn’t want her to deal with the horrors outside of their walls, but she’d have to deal with them at some time or another. Her hands clenched against the arms of her chair as she watched stars appear in the dark sky. “I wanted to hear what he had to say, Papa,” she said softly.
“You don’t need to hear about those horrors. It’s enough just knowing they’re out there.”
Her teeth clenched together, but she kept her tone mild. “I need to if I’m to lead Harbor.”