Nick shook his fist and tried to ward off the crunching agony in his knuckles. It was the first time he had given someone a smack like that and he was surprised by how much it hurt.
Dave grinned at Nick and patted him on the back. “Way to go, slugger. I owe you one, mate.”
“Don’t mention it. This is all a big mess, though. We have to live together. We can’t go around thrusting knives at one another and throwing punches. I already have enough wounds, thank you.”
Dave looked persecuted. “Hey, don’t tell me. It was that bloody muppet that tried to get all stabby.”
“What the hell is going on in here?” It was Annaliese. She was climbing through the window. As soon as she was inside, her eyes fell upon Shawcross, lying on the floor, and then moved over to Jan and Renee, who were both clutching knives.
“It’s okay,” Nick said, still rubbing his fist.
“Like hell it is. What happened to Shawcross?”
“I punched him.”
Annaliese stared hard at him. Eventually she said. “It’s about time somebody did, but you better have had a good reason for doing it.”
“Look, I know this looks bad. There was a standoff over whether or not to let Jan and Renee free…”
“I know,” Annaliese said. “Mike filled me in.” She glared at Cassie. “Wasn’t very diplomatic the way you went about things, darlin’. We can do without troublemakers.”
Cassie stared down at the floor sheepishly.
“She was just doing what she thought was right,” said Jan. “Trying to help me. I made a promise to protect her the day all this started. She probably feels she owes me.”
Annaliese sighed. “I’m sure she did just do what she thought was right. The problem with that, though, is that people have differing opinions on what’s right and what’s wrong.”
“We tried to talk it out,” said Dave. “But that loon came at me with a knife.”
Annaliese looked at Nick for verification. He shrugged at her. “It’s true. Shawcross was the one who got violent. He could have really hurt someone.”
“Well,” she said. “I doubt he would have done so unprovoked, but what’s done is done.”
“So what do you want to do?” Nick asked her. “Can we let Jan and Renee out?”
“Looks like the decision’s already been made. I don’t trust either of them, I’m not going to lie, but I trust you, Nick. If you think they should be free, then so be it. Just don’t make me regret it.”
“You won’t,” said Jan. “I promise.”
Annaliese looked at Jan and rolled her eyes. Then, without saying anything else, she exited the building through the window she came in by.
Shawcross stirred on the floor, moaning.
“What should we do with him?” Nick asked.
“Lock him in the cellar,” said Dave.
“No,” Jan objected. “Nobody else is being locked up. I think it’s time for a fresh start. An equal one. No more prisoners.”
“But he tried to stab me,” Dave cried out.
“And he got his clock cleaned for it,” said Jan. “He might have learned his lesson. If not, then he only gets this one chance.”
Dave huffed. “Fine, you just keep him the hell away from me.”
“I’ll personally guarantee it,” said Jan. “I appreciate you going to bat for me, brother.”
Dave nodded. “You’re welcome. Just be sure to make yourself useful.”
Eve climbed in through the window at that point. She headed over to Nick and placed a hand on his arm. “Anna just told me things were all sorted in here now.”
Nick sniffed. “Yeah, kind of…sort of…mostly. My hand is swollen from punching Shawcross, who tried to murder Dave, but other than that, everything is hunky dory.”
Shawcross continued moaning on the floor. He started to drag himself up.
Eve looked down at Nick’s injured hand and winced. “Wow, you must really have hit him hard.”
“Yeah, I suppose so. It’s fine, I’m sure; just bruised. Hopefully Shawcross will be okay, too.”
Eve grinned at him as though he was a misbehaving, yet amusing child. “Come on, let’s go back to the kitchen and bath it in some cold water.”
Nick felt the fuss was unnecessary, but it seemed important to Eve so he went with her. They headed behind the bar and went into the kitchen. The room was now filled with pots and pans full of water, intended to sustain them once the water stopped coming from the taps. Even now, it came only in tiny trickles. There had been a lot of discussion recently about using some of the water to wash with, but Shawcross and Dave had not been able to agree on the issue. Perhaps, now that Shawcross had been brought down a peg or two, Dave would start making decisions for the group unopposed. The thought sent a shiver down Nick’s spine.
Not sure I can figure the guy out. Having him as dictator may not be such a good idea.
“Over here,” Eve said. She stopped next to one of the kitchen sinks. “It’s not ice-cold, but it should be cool enough to stop some of the swelling.”
“You’re quite the nurse,” he said.
“I used to look after my little brother sometimes. He was always getting into scrapes.”
Nick saw a glint of sadness that appeared briefly in Eve’s eyes. He hadn’t known she’d had a little brother. In fact, he’d never really asked her much at all about who she was or what she had lost. There were certain questions that everybody in the group seemed to avoid asking each other. The less they all thought about their old lives, the better.
He dipped his swollen fist beneath the water and used his other hand to pull Eve into a hug. He gave her a quick squeeze and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I haven’t checked in with you much the last few days. Are you doing okay?”
Eve hugged him back. Then she broke away so that she could look him in the eyes. “I think we’re all doing about the same. Personally, I’m just feeling a little shell-shocked, like this is all just a dream or something. I mean, I can’t really be stuck up on a hill with a bunch of strangers, while monsters devour the earth, can I? That’s not real, is it?”
Nick looked down at his hand in the water and moved it around, creating soft swirls on the surface. “I guess the difference between nightmares and reality has become pretty thin recently.”
“You’re telling me. I keep expecting to wake up.”
“Me too. Every morning I wake up wishing that my wife is beside me. Then I remember everything that’s happened and I realise that I’ll never see her again. It takes everything I have just to face another day.”
“I know what you mean. I don’t know if I can keep doing it anymore. Not sure how much longer I can keep it up.”
“By getting up every morning and just getting on with it,” Nick said to her. He clenched his fist in the water and winced at the ensuing pain. “All of us left here are survivors. We’re all strong in our own ways. We just have to concentrate on doing what we can with whatever the day brings us. You stuck by me at the beginning. I don’t know if I would ever have made it this far without you. For that I’m grateful. I should have told you sooner. If you ever find that things are getting too much, then you come find me, because I owe you my life. I’m here for you, so just ask.”
Eve moved closer to him and looked up into his eyes. “Things are getting too much for me,” she whispered. “I need you to be here for me now.” She went to place her lips against his.
Nick moved away. He placed his hands out between them. “Eve, I’m married.”
Eve frowned in confusion. “You were married.”
The comment hurt Nick, even if it was technically true. To him, marriage wasn’t something that ended a few weeks after your spouse’s death. James and Deana were still in his heart, and while they were there, he was still committed to them.
Tears had appeared in Eve’s eyes and she struggled to look at him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “That was a really shitty thing to say.”
&nb
sp; Nick shook it off. He didn’t want to let such a silly little thing come between them. “It’s okay. No harm done.”
Eve made herself look at him. “It’s just…It’s just that I’m so frightened and I feel…I feel so alone.”
Nick held her close. “You’re not alone, Eve.”
“I don’t want to lose you, Nick. You’re the only person that makes me feel safe. The only person I have any sort of bond with. I just want to hold onto that, because it’s the only thing that makes me feel like I still have anything human in my life.”
“I understand. But you don’t have to be with me in that way just to keep me close. We started this thing together. We’re friends and I care about you more than anyone here. When I dragged you out of that broom closet you became my responsibility, so don’t worry about me going anywhere. I’ll always have your back.” Eve’s face scrunched up and she started sobbing. Nick held her tightly in both arms. “I’ll keep you safe,” he said. “Don’t be afraid anymore, okay? Things are going to be alright, I promise.”
“You can’t promise that,” she said.
“Maybe not, but I’d rather live in a world where we can still make promises to one another, than one where we’re all too afraid to. I promise to keep you safe, no matter how impossible the odds, okay?”
Eve sobbed and then said, “Okay.”
After a while Eve managed to get a hold of herself. She looked up at him again with clammy cheeks and watery eyes. Nick thought she looked beautiful – human and innocent. It was at that point that he decided in his heart he would keep his promise to protect her. He needed to be responsible for her and keep her safe. He had failed Deana and he had failed James, but he would not fail Eve. He could not.
I need to do something right.
Setting himself a mission and giving himself a responsibility made Nick feel stronger. It gave him back the purpose he had lost when he stopped being a father and a husband. It was the part of him that had been missing. Now that it was back, he felt complete again.
He kissed the top of Eve’s head. “Come on. I think it’s about time we all had a little fun.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Annaliese knew things were going to get tense. When she’d entered the restaurant and found Shawcross half-conscious on the floor and the two prisoners holding knives, she had known the best reaction would be to stay calm and not take sides. If she’d taken a hostile attitude then things might have become volatile.
As it stood, she had decided to trust Nick’s judgement, for now. She knew that his inclination was towards peace rather than confrontation. He wouldn’t have used violence unless it had been necessary. Loud mouthed Dave, on the other hand, was a different kind of man altogether. He was a small man with large ambitions, just like Shawcross. In Annaliese’s experience, men like Dave and Shawcross were trouble; like bullies who became police officers or politicians, abusers of power.
I just hope he doesn’t become a problem.
Mike caught up with Annaliese just as she was entering the zoo. The animals were due their feeding and she wanted something to do.
“I heard Shawcross went at Dave with a knife,” Mike said.
“Apparently. I wasn’t there. I wouldn’t put it past him, though. He’s a petty man with a bad temper.”
“You’re not a fan then?”
Annaliese shrugged. “Not a fan of most people, but I’ve seen Shawcross treat his staff like dirt in the past, enough times to know that he views other people as commodities. He won’t like not being in charge.”
“You think there’ll be more trouble?”
“I’d almost bet on it. The only thing more dangerous than the infected people down the bottom of this hill are the people still alive on top of it. It takes a lot to survive. People will do anything.”
“You included?”
Annaliese nodded. “If it comes to it, yeah, of course.”
“Well, I’m glad I came prepared then.” Mike lifted up his shirt and showed her a crude vest of armour. “Made it out of some binders from the offices,” he said. “I don’t want to be the next one to get stabbed.”
She laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
Annaliese shrugged her shoulders. “It’s just that before all this happened, I hated my life. I spent every night trying to drink myself to death. I suppose I was committing slow suicide, not brave enough to do it the hard way. It took the end of the world to make me realise how much I actually want to live and how much people could still make me smile.”
Mike stopped and stared at her. “You wanted to die?”
She nodded. It felt good to admit such weakness to him. It was like unloading a burden from her soul. “I was just done with things. Tired, you know?”
“Why?”
“Because one day I was pregnant and married, living in a three bed semi, and the next I was giving birth to a stillborn baby, divorced, and alone in a cramped flat.”
Mike was silent. His shoulders seemed to rise up and scrunch together like somebody had pinched his neck.
“Sorry,” she said, sensing his discomfort. “I doubt you’re very interested in my life story. Especially when it’s so depressing.”
Mike remained silent. He reached behind his back and plucked something from his back pocket. It was the wallet she had retrieved for him weeks ago in the hotel room. He opened it up and showed her what was inside. Amongst the useless money and credit cards was a photograph. Annaliese studied the picture with interest. It was obvious that the girl in the frame had Down’s syndrome.
“Who is she?” Annaliese asked.
“My six year old daughter, Lucy. Dead now, I suppose.”
“That’s why you wanted your wallet?”
Mike put the wallet back in his pocket and lowered his head so that his chin was against his chest. “I guess I sensed early on that things were pretty bad. I didn’t want to not ever see her face again. This is the only picture I had.”
Annaliese looked at Mike and realised, for the first time, how much sadness the man carried with him. He seemed to wear it around his neck like a lead-weight. “You’ve been so brave,” she said. “I never would have guessed you had a daughter.”
Mike cleared his throat and looked away. “Not talking about her doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about her. It’s just the way I deal with things, I guess. I had to be brave from the moment she was born. The best way to cope with her condition was to be positive all the time. I guess it’s a habit that stayed with me.”
Annaliese grabbed Mike’s hand. It was clammy. “It’s a good habit to have. You’re very courageous.”
“So are you, Anna. What you went through…” He let out a sigh. “At least I got to know my child, if only for a little while.”
Annaliese didn’t know which was worst. Her having never known her child, or what Mike had gone through, losing a child after raising her for six years.
“What about Lucy’s mother?” she asked. “Do you know what happened to her?”
Mike shook his head. “We were separated, long time ago. All I know is that they would have been together at the end. I hold on to that.” It seemed, for a moment, that he might cry, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “Thank you for giving her back to me. The photo, I mean.”
She patted him on the back. “My pleasure. She was a beautiful girl.”
He leant down and kissed her.
To her surprise, she let him.
They broke away after several seconds and Annaliese felt her cheeks growing red. She cleared her throat and tried to speak. “Wh-what was that for?”
Mike stroked her face with the back of his hand. “Life has become very short; no point spending all of it just trying to survive. There’s got to be a little time, here and there, for actually living our lives.”
Annaliese felt her cheeks burning, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sure there was a big philosophical point there somewhere.”
Mike smiled and kissed her again. Annal
iese’s stomach fluttered as though it were full of leaves and wind. She held on tightly as they continued to embrace for what felt like an eternity and, yet, as short as the briefest heartbeat at the same time.
I feel like I’m lost, but I never want to be found.
When they finally broke away there was the sound of laughter. It wasn’t coming from either of them.
Mike glanced around. “Do you hear that?”
Annaliese nodded. “Sounds like people having fun. Almost forgot what that sounded like.”
“Let’s go check it out.”
“Okay, but then I need to go feed the animals.” She found herself blushing as she asked, “Would you like to come along?”
Mike gave her a squeeze around the waist. “Where you go, I go.”
Annaliese wrapped her arm around him and the two of them headed towards the laughter. It was strange how much a single kiss could change a relationship, but it had. She hadn’t been thinking of Mike in a romantic capacity, not at all, but now she held onto him with a deep familiarity that actually managed to bring her comfort amongst all the darkness of the new and frightening world.
She realised how much his existence made hers better and felt embarrassed that she hadn’t seen him for what he was earlier. He was the only good thing in her life, and she had been oblivious of him.
I’m such an idiot.
After walking hand in hand for a few minutes, they discovered Nick and Eve up ahead. Pauline, Cassie, Alan, and Michelle were also there. It was quite the gathering. Earlier events had apparently been forgotten as all of them wore smiles on their faces and laughed amongst themselves gleefully.
“What are you all up to?” Annaliese asked as she walked between them.
Nick was holding a basketball and tossed it to her. She flinched and caught it, then held it in her hands feeling confused.
“Well, don’t just stand there,” he said. “Throw it in.”
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