by April Smyth
After the plane journey last night we stayed in a hotel before driving home. The entire journey I wondered how this was going to work. There is going to be a lot of distance put between us. Oliver lives miles away and Rose even further, how can I see them as often as I want? Well, I’m with them now. We can figure that out later.
Rose and Channing announce they have to leave promptly after dinner. I beg her to stay but she says, ‘I’m sorry I can’t stay longer, Cassie, but I really need to see my brother.’
I think of her sick brother and I send my prayers that he will make a recovery. She has wasted enough time with me; it is time for her to be with her family. ‘I’ll see you soon and I’ll call you every day,’ she grins. ‘And don’t think you’ll be escaping video chats either!’
I laugh and hug my best friend tightly, ‘Thank you for everything, Rose.’
She smiles at me. Channing helps her put on her coat and then they are gone. They disappear into the snow. Scotland seems to be under a full cover of white dust for Christmas which makes this scene even prettier. I made sure to take lots of photos of the day while all my favourite people were in one room although it is unlikely that the image will ever leave my memory.
At long last, I get to hold my baby sister and when I look at Lily’s tiny face I know that I’m going to be a good big sister to her. For the past eighteen years, I’ve always kept myself at arms length from my family. I loved them but was always scared they’d abandon me because I was a freak. I never want my sister to feel that way. I’ll teach her all the lessons this year has taught me. I’ll show all my siblings how to be happy with their lives. I always strived for me, always dreamed of things that I thought would make me happy but they never did. I don’t want them to go through that; I want them to learn from my mistakes and live full, satisfying lives.
My dad and Shannon agree to let Oliver stay the night but I know he’ll have to leave tomorrow. After dinner and countless games of charades, we all go to bed and it feels entirely dreamlike to have Oliver in my cramped single bed underneath the childish covers.
‘What are we going to do?’ I ask.
‘I was thinking I could buy a flat a little closer to you,’ he replies. ‘Not too close, I don’t want to be everywhere all the time. I don’t want to be that guy.’
I grin, holding him tight to me, ‘What if I want you to be that guy.’
‘You don’t. You want to go to University and make new friends and have an amazing life,’ he says and for the first time ever a normal life sounds extraordinary.
I arrived home to two acceptance letters to University: one from the University of Glasgow and the other from Edinburgh. ‘When I start University, we could get a flat together,’ I say.
‘We could,’ Oliver yawns. I guess we have had an exhausting couple of months. ‘We can do whatever we want.’
‘We can, can’t we?’ I smile. I wish I was feeling tired but sleep is the last thing on my mind.
‘Can you believe that we met in this room not so long ago?’
I shake my head, ‘No, it’s insane. I thought you were a crazy kidnapper.’
‘Nice first impression,’ he laughs.
‘What did you think of me?’
‘I thought you were very pretty. I instantly loved your eyes and your lips and your body,’ he says and he runs his hand down my neck, chest and stomach making my skin tingle.
I giggle, ‘Stop flattering me.’
‘I know you won’t believe me but I knew we would end up together from that first day,’ he shrugs. ‘I just had a feeling about you.’
For some reason, I do believe him. There had always been something there between Oliver and I, even if I had been in denial for a good section of our time together. It seems ludicrous that I was so against being with him. I think of the days we spent lying in bed together. I think of how close we came so many times. I guess I just needed more convincing. I rub my cheek against his chest and sigh. He’s a good convincer.
We kiss for a while and I start to get sleepy in the heat of his arms. I wish I’d realised as quickly as he had that we were a perfect match but I suppose sometimes two people take different paths to get to the same destination. My journey only makes it sweeter. My heart was broken and Oliver fixed it for me; I think that’s more romantic than if I had met him with a whole heart to give to him.
Oliver frowns. ‘What are you thinking about?’ I ask, making small circles with the tips of my fingers on his tan skin. I could spend hours tracing his skin. It frightened me that tomorrow he would have to go home and things would change. It was a good kind of fear though; it was exciting. Oliver was right about this being an adventure.
‘Just thinking about the first time we met,’ he whispers. I wonder how he feels about leaving me. I doubt he’ll like leaving me unattended when the vampires are still at large but he is better at separation than I am; I’m still learning.
‘What about it?’ I inquire.
‘You looked hurt and very scared but at the same time you seemed very brave. You didn’t want to be afraid.’
‘I try not to be,’ I think of the bundle of nerves that are living inside of me right now. I was scared then of what I had lost when I left Toulouse but now I’m scared of what I might still have to lose. When he met me, I was a mess. Gabe saw it in my eyes when he saw me in New York, Rose saw it when she first came to Oliver’s house and Oliver recognised my sadness when he snuck up on me here in my own bedroom. I was broken for a while but now I’m whole. I shouldn’t be afraid anymore.
As if he senses my anxiety about his departure tomorrow, he says, ‘I’ll never make you feel that way, I promise.’
His eyelids are beginning to get heavy and I feel him drift off to sleep. It takes me a little longer to fall asleep and, for a pleasant change, it’s not because of the nightmares. No, I just want to look at his face for a while and take in the magnificence of this moment. I’m home. I’m safe and I’m still me. My family are here, all five of them, and Maurice is dead. Rose and Channing are together and they’re happy. Gabe has Claire and he has found his happily ever after and as for me I am truly happy.
The sound of Oliver’s breathing and the familiar humming of my house send me into a blissful, dreamless sleep.