by Kacey Shea
He laughs, shaking his head as he wraps his arms around Lexi’s waist. “Don’t drag me into this. I have everything I need right here.”
“’Night, everyone. Love you,” Deb calls out on her way to the hallway. “Don’t worry about cleaning up. I’ll take care of the rest tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Deb!” we say in chorus.
Trent gives her a kiss on the cheek. “’Night, Mom.”
I glance around the room, taking in the happy couples. “You know what? Love stinks.”
“You should write a song about it,” Sean says. “But maybe change the title, ’cause that one’s taken.” He and Jess wave goodnight, and with an armful of presents, head for their room upstairs.
“Hey, but seriously”—Trent leaves Lexi’s side to clasp my shoulder—“don’t go out tonight, man. Nothing good’ll happen if you do.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I wave off his concern and make a show of rolling my eyes. “Go upstairs, have a fucking good time. I’ll be in my room masturbating.”
“Now, there’s the holiday spirit.” Lexi punches me playfully on the shoulder. Trent takes the gifts from the edge of the table and they follow Leighton and Opal out of the room.
“You guys used to be fun!” I shout at their retreating forms.
“We’ll party tomorrow night, after the show. Promise!” Trent turns, walking backward, and levels me with a pointed finger.
I wave him off and lay back on the couch. “Promises, promises.” I blow out a breath and relax into the cushions as the glimmer from the lighted Christmas trees, the big one in the corner of the room and the other on my chest, lull me to sleep. Fuck it. I’m too tired to go out on my own. But I’m holding my friends to it. None of this turning in early crap. When we jump back into the last leg of this tour, we better party like the rock stars we are.
110
Jayla
The murmurs of excitement rumble through the long line outside the side entrance to the Staples Center. I’ve been to dozens of concerts here, but never once have I splurged for these kind of tickets—ones that include a pre-show meet and greet experience. I told my girls it was my treat, a Christmas gift from me to them, but that’s a complete lie. This is an entirely selfish want. I’m not here for the music, or to take pictures with my favorite band. I’m here to see him.
There have been so many times I’ve wondered. Wanted. And now it’s really happening.
I resist the urge to flip my phone to selfie mode so I can check my makeup for the thousandth time. Nothing has altered my face or clothes since my girlfriends and I exited the Uber twenty minutes ago. It’s a cold night for LA, even with it being winter, and my teeth chatter despite the suede jacket that covers my upper body. Yeah, it’s the weather. Not nerves. Not because after years, regret, and countless hours of anticipation, I’m finally doing this.
My stomach plummets with the thought of seeing him.
He’s probably forgotten. Won’t even recognize me, and he shouldn’t. I’m not the young woman I was when I left Phoenix my junior year of high school. He’s not the same boy. Obviously, what with his famous rock star status.
Still, I hope.
“Girl.” Aaliyah steps in front of me. “What’s up with you tonight? You weren’t even listening to me.”
“Sorry,” I say and shuffle a few steps as the line moves forward. My stomach dips and dives knowing he’s right around that corner. We can see the security guards from here. It’s only a matter of minutes now. God, why did I think this was a good idea?
“You nervous?” Kalise eyes me suspiciously. I should have known better than to bring her along. She sees right through my crap.
“No.” I shake my head and tip my chin as I straighten my spine.
“Liar.” She laughs and turns to make a face at Aaliyah before settling on me.
“Shut up.” I want to be offended but end up giving in to my smile at her wide do-you-really-think-you-can-lie-to-your-best-friend stare. “Whatever. You know I like this band.”
“Yeah, you do. I can’t believe we’re missing Drake for them.” Aaliyah rolls her eyes.
“You aren’t missing Drake.” Kalise lets loose another laugh. “He’s playing halfway around the world.”
“I’m just saying. If we weren’t here, we could have flown to Japan to meet my man.”
I roll my eyes and let out a rough laugh. “Drake know about your undying love?”
“If he checks his Twitter, hell yeah, he does.” Aaliyah licks her lips.
“Tickets please,” the guy working the line says and interrupts our conversation.
“Oh, right.” I swipe open my screen and flip through each ticket for him to scan. I didn’t realize we’d moved this far up in line. Any easiness fades as a tidal wave of nerves crashes and settles over me again.
“Jay, you work with celebrities all the time. Shake it off, girl. You look like you’re gonna pass out.” Kalise knocks her shoulder into mine as we step over the threshold and into another line.
I shrug out of my jacket and place everything I’m holding before the security guard to check before passing through the metal detector. I wait as my friends do the same and try not to allow my knee to bounce as the anticipation builds. I’m not sure what I’ll say when we reach the head of the line, even though I’ve practiced this scenario in my mind more than I’d ever admit.
“Next.” A woman standing in front of the hanging red drapes waves us over.
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, caught between the need to rush through those curtains and the desire to run back to my apartment.
“How many?” the woman asks.
My throat goes dry and my mouth doesn’t open.
Aaliyah steps forward. “Three.”
“I don’t know what your deal is, but these rock stars are nothing,” Kalise whispers at my side and pushes me forward. “You’re a fucking queen.”
She’s right. Entirely. I don’t do nervous. I don’t do timid. I own my life, and I live unapologetically. Have for years. I give myself a shake, push my shoulders back, and walk forward with all the confidence in the world.
Maybe I should play it cool. Or at least try to look at someone else first, but I can’t help it. My gaze searches for his, and maybe it’s wishful thinking, but the minute his cool blue eyes catch me staring, I swear they light with recognition.
“Please tell me there’s free booze,” Kalise says as we join another line, this one for a photo op with the band. It’s the reason I paid an ungodly sum for these tickets; I wanted to get near enough to him so we could talk.
“Yeah, after our photo.” I manage to sound normal.
Kalise glances around and at the sight of the bar in the corner, she tips her chin. “This line isn’t going anywhere fast. I’ll be right back.” She takes a few steps and calls back, “You want something?”
Aaliyah laughs. “Hell, yes.”
“I got you,” she says and heads to the bar.
I focus on my friends and not tripping as we shuffle forward every few minutes, but my eyes continue to drift back to him. Each time I do, he catches me looking and his lips lift in a flirty smile that does things to my insides. The room is loud with laughter and conversation. The band takes time with each guest before they move along.
“Girl, he’s into you,” Aaliyah hums low enough he can’t hear.
“You think?” That flicker of hope in my chest grows a little stronger. I hold my head higher. My fears subside. I don’t know whether he remembers me, or if he just finds me amusing, but either way I have his attention.
“Can’t stop staring,” she says, and it’s true.
“Back, bitches.” Kalise grips three drinks in her hands and manages to hand two off without dropping one.
“Thank you,” I say, though my stomach is in knots and I can’t imagine drinking anything. Besides, I want all of my senses on full alert.
“Just in time.” Aaliyah grins and sucks back most of her drink as the line attendant greet
s us.
“Ready to meet the guys?” she says with an enthusiasm and familiarity that instantly strikes a chord of jealousy in my mind.
I brush off the feeling and walk forward, refusing to back down now that I’ve made it to this moment.
“Hey, beautiful,” he meets my gaze. His voice is all sex and bad decisions, nothing like when we were kids. “How you doing tonight?”
“Not great.” The old familiar pain strikes at the sight of him this close after so many years. I’m tempted to throw the goddamn drink in his perfect, smiling face.
As if she can read my mind, Aaliyah takes the glass from my hand.
“Oh? That’s a shame. Someone as gorgeous as you should be having a good time.” There it is again. The innuendo. Does that work for him? Does he think one smirk and all is forgiven?
No. He doesn’t recognize me. He wouldn’t be this arrogant if he did.
I ignore the part of me that jumps to attention at the thought of taking Austin to my bed. Letting him worship me in the way I’ve fantasized too many times. I shake my head and draw in a breath. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
“Shit,” one of the other guys mutters, but I don’t catch who. I’m too busy reading Austin’s face.
“You look really familiar.” he says with sincerity, and takes a step forward, closing the space between us.
I could reach out and slap him. Better yet, pull him to me and allow him to wrap me in his arms. Instead, my hands go to my hips and I tilt my head.
He takes a languid look down my body, obviously appreciating my full curves. Good. My efforts don’t go unnoticed. As his eyes scrape back up and settle on my eyes I finally say what I came here for.
“It’s me. Jayla.” I stare and wait for the realization to hit him. It does. His eyes widen and for a second he drops the cool rock star façade, looking more like the boy I fell for all those years ago. Words stick on the tip of my tongue—ones that berate him and express the anger, isolation, and sadness I felt when he never called or tried to reconnect. I never wanted to leave Phoenix, but at sixteen I had no choice. He was the one who broke his promise.
“Jayla,” he repeats my name, a whisper first and then louder. “Jay? It’s really you?”
I nod and take in the joy that lights his eyes, the thrill that runs through my body at being this close to him again.
“Jesus.” He opens his arms, taking one step closer, and doesn’t wait for my permission before pulling me into his arms. His body isn’t anything like I remember. His muscles are filled out where he was once all long limbs, and his chest is full and strong.
I resist the desire to sink into his warmth, his comfort, his masculinity. And after a beat longer than is appropriate, I step out of his embrace.
“God, it’s good to see you, Jay. I didn’t know.” His eyes don’t leave mine, and without glancing around the room, I’m certain we’ve garnered everyone’s attention. His words rush forth with what I think is a mixture of disbelief and genuine excitement. “You’re here? I mean you live here, in LA?”
“Yeah, I’ve been here.” My fingers clench my bag and jacket. I force myself to hold his gaze and school my features. I came here to tell him off. To show him what he missed out on. But instead, I can’t produce more than a stare and a few awkward words.
“Shit.” Austin turns to his bandmates and it’s then I meet Trent’s friendly gaze. “Guys, this is a friend from high school.”
“Jayla, I remember.” Trent steps forward, holding out his hand. “How are you? How’s your brother?”
“Good.” I return his firm handshake and offer a smile at the thought of my older brother. “Desmond. He’s good. Married and with two little ones.”
“That’s fantastic. Tell him I said hi.”
“I will.”
“Excuse me, Mr. Jones. Mr. Donavan,” the woman in charge of the line interrupts. “We need to get to the next guest. Can we get everyone lined up for a photo?”
“Sorry,” I begin.
But Austin turns to her. “We’ll get to them. There’s plenty of time.” He zeros his attention back on me before she even leaves and it’s Aaliyah who clears her throat behind me.
God. They’re going to kill me. I force my smile to stay in place. “These are my friends, Aaliyah and Kalise.”
“It’s so nice to meet you.” Austin gives them each a sincere handshake, and makes quick introductions to his bandmates. But while my girls shake hands and chat with the others, he turns back to me. “I don’t want you to leave.” His gaze holds no teasing or lightness.
“I think I have to.” I raise my brows and point toward the door. “You have a show or something.”
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He ignores my comment and reaches out to touch my arm, almost as if he can’t fathom it. “Thank you.”
His words swirl in my mind, catching me off guard. “For what?”
“Always believing in me.” And it’s as if time stands still. Frozen. Him looking at me. Me staring at him. All the years we lost disappear and I’m with my best friend again.
“Aust, we really need to take this photo,” Trent says.
“Sure. Sorry.” He guides me by my elbow, his touch gentle and light, and leads me to stand between him and Trent. We turn, smiling to the photographer as she snaps three quick photos. I try to smile. I swear I do. I hope I manage to appear happy and not full of the tremulous thoughts that race through my brain. This is all so surreal.
“Tonight. After the show. Come out with us. The Sands. We’ll get you on the list.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” I back up, knowing he has to go, and not sure where this leads. I can’t erase the last thirteen years as if they never happened. We’re not friends anymore. We can’t go back.
“Please. I don’t want to say good-bye.”
The next group walks forward, and the rest of the band turns their attention while Austin stares and waits for my answer.
“I’ll try,” I finally relent, and then Aaliyah and Kalise are at my side, walking my dazed self toward the exit and straight to the first ladies’ room.
“Jay, girl . . .” Kalise pins me with a no-you-fucking-didn’t look. “You got some explaining to do.”
“What?” I turn to the mirror and reach up to touch my corkscrew curls, hating the doubts that come to mind. Did he like my hair? I never used to wear it like this. Did he find me attractive?
Aaliyah rolls her eyes and shoves me over a few inches. “You never said you were friends with a rock god!” She glosses her lips in a natural shade of pink.
“He’s just a man,” I remind myself as much as my friends.
“A very famous one. A man who’s loaded. Girl, you need to get on that!” Kalise bugs her eyes and levels her stare.
“Then hook a sister up!” Aaliyah presses her nails into her chest and bats her lashes.
“I thought you were in love with Drake,” I say.
“I am,” Aaliyah says with conviction before letting a smile take over her face. “What the brother don’t know, won’t hurt him.”
Kalise gives in to a smile. “You’re ridiculous.”
The muted sounds of applause and wailing guitars greet my ears. The opening act. Not one I’m that excited to see, but if it’ll lessen the current inquisition, I’m game. “Let’s go. Concert’s starting.”
Aaliyah shakes her head, but steps ahead and leads the way.
I follow a half step behind, with Kalise on my left as we make our way through the now crowded concourse and to our section. After showing the attendant our tickets, she leads us through the almost deafening music to find our seats.
“Don’t think just because we’re here at this concert that you get out of explaining,” Aaliyah shouts as she takes the seat at my right. “Imma need to know everything.”
“Details.” Kalise nods. “Including why the hell you had to pay so much for these tickets!”
“Seriously. We should be backstage or something.” Aaliyah shakes h
er head, and I just know it doesn’t matter what I say, she won’t let this go. “Hook me up.”
“It was a long time ago. I didn’t think he’d remember me.”
“Mmm hmm.” Kalise stares across my body at Aaliyah. Together they exchange some kind of silent communication.
Aaliyah lifts her pointer finger and levels her manicured nail at me. “We’re going to that club.”
“What?” I say like I don’t know exactly what club she’s referring to.
“You heard me. You’re gonna meet him tonight so you can get whatever it is you came here for.”
Only, I’m not sure exactly what that is.
111
Austin
“We’re behind schedule. Sorry, they need you in the green room. Now,” Jax, one of the tour assistants calls from the open doorway.
We wave good-bye to the lingering guests and staff working tonight’s pre-show meet and greet. I follow behind Sean as we head toward the green room. These meet and greets are an addition since WMI bought out Off Track Records, and one of the few changes we’ve actually enjoyed. Face time with our biggest fans in a more intimate setting is an absolute joy. We usually have plenty of time after to hang before the show, though tonight we’re pushing it.
“What happened in there tonight?” Jax lowers his brow and taps at his cell, his long strides setting a quick pace. “Did they sell too many tickets again?”
“I don’t think so.” Trent glances over his shoulder and briefly meets my eyes. “Just a few familiar faces.”
Jax touches his earpiece and nods before he opens the door for us to pass. “The girls are already on stage left. We’re cutting it close. I need you guys ready in fifteen. That good?”
Trent tips his chin. “Ready when you are.”
“Be back in a few.” Jax taps the door frame with his knuckles and strides out the door, barking orders into his headpiece before it fully shuts.
Leighton settles on a chair and pulls his sticks from his back pocket to bang on one of the end tables.