by Emma Accola
“No, actually it did,” he said, giving me a knowing leer. “I analyzed what would be the best outcome for me under the given circumstances and made my choice.”
“Did Caleb know about the Teddy bear?”
Harry Spice chuckled. “You know he did. Once he interviewed me and saw the evidence, he figured out that I knew way more about your and Tamra’s apartment and daily activities than I should have. He was smart, way smart. He saw in the police reports that a Teddy bear had gone missing from a shelf and put two and two together. Caleb was the shrewd brother. When he asked me whether I had your apartment under surveillance, I was honest with him. Of course, he wanted me to come clean about it and spare myself a rape accusation, but I refused.”
“You should have.”
“No. I really couldn’t risk my public knowing that I had surreptitiously placed a surveillance device in the apartment of two beautiful women. People would have jumped to all kinds of unpleasant conclusions about me. I can’t even imagine what such news would have done to my stock prices. I’ve built my whole life on getting people to use technology in every aspect of their day-to-day lives. Can you even imagine the devastation this thing with Tamra would have caused my company’s reputation?”
My voice rose. “This was all about money?”
“Not all.” His expression scolded me. “Since I was innocent of raping Tamra, I was sure a smart lawyer like Caleb would get me off. I hadn’t counted on the jury finding you and that idiot dentist to be credible.”
Rage flushed my face. “You saw the intruder in real time and knew exactly what he was going to do to Tamra. You could have called the police and saved her.”
“Not without revealing the presence of a surveillance device.”
“Tamra was drugged and raped.”
“That doesn’t sound like my problem.”
The top of my head felt like it was going to blow off. “No, that night your problem was getting the Teddy bear out of the apartment before I got home.”
“Smart girl. Unfortunately it took longer to get across town than I would have liked, and you ended up seeing me. If only I had been five seconds faster. We could have avoided all this nastiness.”
I fought the urge to slap the smirk off his face. “How did you get into the apartment?”
Harry Spice chuckled. “Does it matter?”
“You foul, unimaginable swine.” I was shaking. “Did you come here to brag about how you could have saved Tamra and didn’t? What’s next? Will you boast about how you drove her from her home?”
His brow lowered as he frowned. “She’s never interested me.”
“Then why risk the Teddy bear in our apartment? What was it about my and Tamra’s day-to-day lives that kept a sick-ass, narcissistic voyeur like you watching us? You could have just hacked our social media sites.”
He frowned, chastising me. “Don’t be stupid. I wanted the real intimacy, the sacred, not just what you presented online.”
“And you need to know about something that had no effect on you at all?”
“I’ve looked inside your refrigerator and seen your favorite brand of yogurt. I know your sizes from your online shopping habits and seen the websites you browse. All that wasn’t enough. I wanted the facts.”
“Facts? Really? Did watching and listening to decent people living decent lives smarten you up? Did all those facts give you any wisdom?”
“Hashtag: who cares?”
“I care about the loss of our privacy.”
Harry Spice laughed. “There’s a little sign on my desk that says, Don’t come here for privacy.”
“Add the word decency to your sign.”
He gave me a look that was at once patronizing and benevolent. “You’re really too provincial. People all over the world are opening up their homes to technology. They want to run their appliances and security systems from their smartphones. Combine that with their browsing history and I can use the information to tailor their online experiences and desires. That progress can’t be calculated using a yardstick that only measures privacy.”
“Tamra might beg to differ.”
“Tamra is yesterday’s fortune cookie.” He sighed as his eyes marched up and down my body. “Really, Gracie, you disappoint me. Our society is becoming godless. Without a caring omniscient being watching over our actions, we have to turn to technology. People will use social media sites so that they don’t disappear into a vortex of oblivion. On social media, anyone can matter.”
My hands tightened into fists. “You’re a hypocrite. That night Tamra didn’t matter to you. What gives you the right to bring so much harm down on another human being?”
Harry Spice made a face as if he were thinking really hard. “Ah, maybe the lack of alternatives?”
“You’re a maniac.”
Harry Spice’s mouth stretched into a smirk. “I thought you might want to talk about your career.”
“Not with you.”
“No, you save those conversations for Micah. It’s heartwarming, how close the two of you are.”
I gave him a narrow look. There was no way I would discuss Micah with this creature.
Harry Spice seemed to understand that. He backed away, his eyes on me as he moved toward his car. “Very soon you will find out what’s next, darling Gracie.” He slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine. I watched him drive away.
The teenage girl who lived next door to me was coming up the sidewalk. She wore a knowing smirk. “Well, well, well. How many hot guys are you seeing? Between that one and Micah, you sure know how to roll.”
I had no words to answer that remark. My hands quaked so much my mail almost slipped to the ground. I gave her a quick, tight smile and went back to my townhouse. Darkness shrouded my living room. The furniture hunched down in inky mounds as if waiting for me to make a move. I set the mail on a table and turned on every overhead light and lamp. The menagerie of animals, the striped zebras and tigers, the spotted leopards, and the plain gray elephants, stared with fixed eyes.
My intuition hummed ominously that Harry Spice hid among them like a predator in the reeds. I circled the living room, recalling how Gary had spent the 1980s living in Africa and India. Most of his décor had come from the many countries he’d visited during that decade. I walked around the room, noticing how they were made of wood, ceramic, and other natural materials, all except one. One zebra in the middle of the herd on the mantle didn’t quite look like the others. It was the only one with bright, clean fur. I picked it up. It felt heavy for a stuffed animal, solid on the inside. Its round, black eyes glittered back at me.
In blind rage I ran outside and threw it down on the driveway with all my strength. The zebra hit the ground with a sharp crack and bounced off the big river rocks that lined the sidewalk. I dropped to my knees and picked up a rock the size of a grapefruit. Again and again I smashed the rock down on the zebra. Bits and pieces of plastic flew everywhere, until every last little component of the microphone and camera lay in tiny shiny, sparkling pieces. Even then I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t even see what I was doing because my eyes were full of tears.
Then Micah appeared at my side. He took the rock from my hands, pulled me into his arms, and knelt with me on the driveway. Sobbing, I pressed my face into Micah’s chest, all the while trying to tell him what Harry Spice had said about Tamra, how he had stood aside and let the attack happen. Micah lifted me up, babbling and incoherent, and carried me inside his townhouse. He held me in his lap for a long time as I cried out my bitterness and rage. He didn’t say anything, just nodded as he handed me tissue after tissue and made a sound like a low murmur. When I finally got myself under control, he caressed my hair.
“I think that zebra’s dead,” he said softly.
I sniffled into a tissue. My aching throat made my voice crack. “That was a surveillance device created by Harry Spice. He had a similar one put into a Teddy bear in my and Tamra’s apartment. It’s why he was in the building the ni
ght Tamra was assaulted, to retrieve it before the police found it.”
Micah’s arms tightened around me. His legs beneath mine flexed and became rigid.
“I thought Leonardo had sent it to me as a sort of peace offering after I broke up with him the first time. Tamra put it on a shelf.” I took a deep breath. “Because of that Teddy bear, Harry Spice knew the rapist had come into the apartment, but he didn’t call nine-one-one. He saw that she was in danger and he let it happen anyhow. He came to the apartment that night only to cover his ass by getting the Teddy bear. His plan would have worked perfectly except I saw him in the building.”
“Are you saying that Harry Spice didn’t rape Tamra?”
“He didn’t. You were always right about that. But he definitely knows who did.”
Micah’s face twisted in disgust. “And because he took the Teddy bear, you can’t prove that he knew about the intruder. I wouldn’t put it past Harry Spice to have provided the rapist access to the Teddy bear’s surveillance. It would explain why Harry wanted the Teddy bear back so badly. He didn’t want to disclose the pervert’s name because he was afraid the douche bag would turn on him. That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?”
“And he gloated about how that campus newspaper reporter Elina is writing an article about me. He’s sent her a transcript of the trial. Now she can smear Caleb for providing a poor defense and make me out to be a vindictive liar. Caleb won’t be allowed to rest in peace. I’m sorry.”
I felt him nodding against the top of my head. He sighed.
“Harry Spice is everywhere in our lives,” I whispered. “He heard everything we said to each other last night. There’s no place on this planet that he can’t reach.”
“There is.” Micah put his finger on my forehead. “In here.”
“I’ve never wanted to be forgotten so badly in my life.” Then my heart twisted, because I remembered that my family was already forgetting me. The knife’s point suddenly burrowed more deeply. “Harry Spice has given me to Tamra’s rapist, hasn’t he? I’ll bet that zebra I smashed up was transmitting to him. He’s made me the rapist’s property.”
“No, you don’t know that,” Micah said. “Besides, no one could ever own you.”
“These past months it’s like I am locked in a room with a rotting elephant. I can’t get away from what is suffocating me. The stink is killing me by slow degrees. I’m losing my mind.”
“I got you. I got you.”
I took several deep breaths. “Harry Spice is trying to ruin me piece by piece.”
“He won’t succeed.”
“He already has,” I cried, fighting the urge to wail. “I’ve hit rock bottom.”
“And what do you see down there?”
“What?” The question confounded me. “Who are you? My therapist?”
Micah took my chin and tipped it up so I faced him. “If I were, I would tell you that it’s at the bottom where you’ll find your badass. And you’ll never be more alive than when you’re making that climb hand-over-hand back up.”
“You sound like a greeting card. What will you tell me next? That it takes darkness for one to see the stars? That I have to be broken before I can find out what I’m really made of?”
“No one will ever break you.”
“Thanks,” I said reluctantly. The specter of Harry Spice began fading from the room. I started to feel like a little girl who had just been shown there were no bogeymen in the closet. Still, I didn’t want to get off his lap. I relaxed against him, settling in. “Why were you so late in getting home?”
“I’m glad you asked.” Micah shifted a bit to make himself more comfortable. “Are you in the mood for some good news? I heard from my contact at the police department that there isn’t enough evidence to arrest you on the hit-and-run charge. As for the harassment of Loren Hernandez, that goes away since he’s deceased and there’s no proof that he’s the one who wrote the complaint. The university you graduated from will have an original copy of your dissertation in its archive, which will take care of the plagiarism lies. As for the idea that you hacked the HR office, I’m sure that will be disproven at some point. At the very least, no one will be able to figure out who did it. It’s just a matter of time before you’re cleared of everything.”
Though the news was all good, I trembled, shaken and wearied by my anger. “Harry Spice will up his game. You know it.”
Micah tightened his arms around me. “He will, but whatever he throws at us, we’ll handle together.” Suddenly Micah put on the dean face that he used when leading meetings on campus. He looked past me, through me, as if I weren’t there. “Look, I have to ask you something. And you won’t like the question.”
“Is it part of hitting rock bottom?”
“That will depend upon your answer.”
“As if I could go lower.”
“Yes, you can go lower. Thanks to working with Caleb in the criminal justice system, I’ve seen how far vindictive people can go to punish others.”
“Ask away. Haven’t I been completely exposed already?”
“That depends upon whether Leonardo or any other men have nude pictures of you. Because that’s what’s next here. If digital images of you naked are out there, Harry Spice will find them.”
“None exists.”
Micah frowned slightly as he met my eyes. “Don’t say it if you’re only wishing it.”
My face burned. “The faked video of me and Faith’s fiancé may still be out there.”
“He won’t use it.”
The finality of Micah’s answer surprised me. “Why not?”
“Because Damien’s family are influential Bay Area venture capitalists. Making public a video that depicts Damien in a compromising position would cause a full-blown investigation. His family would be all over that like white on rice. Harry Spice would lose control.”
I allowed myself a tingle of relief. “You think so?”
“I know so. That video would never stand up against intense scrutiny. The last thing he wants is for your family and Damien’s to know that you and Damien were innocent and they were tricked. His goal is to keep us separated from our loved ones, so he won’t risk bringing it up.”
I put my hands on Micah’s chest. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are there any nude pictures of you out there in cyberspace? Any videos of you having sex, real or otherwise?”
One of Micah’s eyebrows rose and he smiled slightly. “Are you hoping there are?”
The challenge in his voice was unmistakable. “If I wanted to look at you nude, I would undress you myself. I don’t need the experience mediated by a camera or a computer.”
The start of a grin teased the corners of Micah’s mouth. “Would you now?”
“So answer the question. Are there nude pictures or videos of you out there?”
“None that I know of,” Micah said, moving his hands down my back.
My skin tingled from his touch. “Why aren’t you sure?”
“Thanks to Harry Spice, I don’t know anything for sure anymore. He made a fake video of you cheating with your sister’s fiancé, so who can say what sort of video he’s concocted about me?” Micah shrugged, but he never broke eye contact. “To answer your question, no, I have never knowingly allowed anyone to take nude pictures of me or film me having sex. What about you and your ex?”
I bit my lip for a second. “Leonardo wouldn’t have thought of it. He seemed kind of indifferent.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Micah’s hands were on the small of my back, drawing me closer. “You’re too beautiful for indifference.”
My heart started pounding. “He was,” I whispered.
“He was a fool.” Micah’s voice softened as he drew me against him. “You were with Leonardo the first time I saw you in person. His attention was on everything around him but you. His friends though, they stared at you, some of them with open lust on their faces. T
hey could see what he had, even if he couldn’t.”
“You watched Leonardo when he was with me?”
Micah didn’t loosen his hold. “Of course. Caleb was thorough when it came to investigating witnesses. He couldn’t figure out what you saw in Leonardo and thought you had to be hiding something. As for me, I saw how most of your conversation and laughter was for the women you were with, never for Leonardo.”
“There’s no way you could know that from watching.”
“I trust my own eyes, and I saw denial. I saw a woman who was settling because she had been convinced by others that there wasn’t anything better out there for her.”
My wounded pride reared up. “And why do you think you know so much about me just by looking?”
“Because in the mirror I saw all of that on my own face.”
I felt his heart beat unevenly under my palm, an unsettling sensation. “I’m sorry.”
“Your and my relationships had become two-person coffins and Harry Spice came along and put the nails in them.” Micah’s hand slid up my back and stopped on the nape of my neck. “Harry Spice didn’t care that he bludgeoned our exes in the process because to him the end always justifies the means. And it’s not over. Whatever fresh hell he has planned for us, we’ll be facing it together.”
“Let’s do it.”
“I’m going to kiss you now.”
Micah captivated me as he stared down into my eyes. I felt his breath hitch as I tipped my face back and pressed my palms into his chest. His thumb traced my bottom lip. He smelled like hot spices, linen, and wool. His fingers entwined in my hair, and suddenly, finally, his lips were on mine. The sensation overwhelmed me, weakening my knees, causing me to clutch Micah even harder against me. I opened my mouth slightly and his tongue found mine. He was sweet, so sweet, like wine and roses. I almost groaned when he pulled away. Without another word, he set me on the couch and left me alone in Gary’s townhouse.
Later I went outside to sweep up the bits of zebra. Micah’s home was in darkness.
*
Two days later I saw Micah from my office window. I wondered how a man wearing a long, dark trench coat could still manage to look so burning hot while he walked through a cold drizzle. As I packed up my briefcase and got ready to leave the office, I wondered why he had suddenly pulled away and left me the way he had the last time we were together. Clearly he had something on his mind, but did it have anything to do with me?