by Rachel Hanna
“What? Don’t leave me hanging!”
“I asked him to skinny dip.”
“You did not!”
“I did too! And it was amazing, Carrie. Skin on skin at midnight in the ocean. I can’t even describe how I felt out there. He’s so kind and gorgeous and strong.”
“You’re not even the same person,” Carrie said, eying her friend carefully. Laura opened her eyes to find Carrie smiling proudly.
“Of course I am!”
“No. I meant that in a good way, Laura,” she said softly. “This guy has done what I could never do. He’s brought the old Laura back, but an even better version. Somehow, he’s made you believe in yourself again. I saw Sweetcakes when I was being dropped off. It looks amazing!”
Laura knew she was right. In the short time she’d known Sawyer, he’d changed her world. Changed how she felt about herself and what she could accomplish. Made her smile again - a lot.
“I can’t wait to meet him,” Carrie said.
“Me either! You’re going to love him.”
“The question is - do you?”
Laura stared at her friend. It was impossible to love someone she’d just met. Wasn’t it?
Chapter 12
Sawyer leaned back on his sofa and took a deep breath. Today had to be the day. He couldn’t keep doing this, keeping up the charade that he was some down on his luck, struggling musician. If Laura even watched a TV entertainment show, she’d find out. If the wrong social media story passed on her newsfeed, she’d know. And he had to be the one to tell her.
Two nights ago, as he held her in his arms on the beach, he knew. She was the one. The only one. There was no going back. Swimming in the ocean naked with this amazing woman had been the highlight of his life.
He’d changed. She’d changed. And somehow they had become perfect for each other in the process.
The ringing of his phone knocked him out of his deep thoughts. “Hello?”
“Man, you’re hard to get a hold of lately!” his former agent, Dan, said.
“I’ve been busy. What do you want?” Sawyer closed his eyes, ready for the onslaught that was sure to come since he hadn’t returned to Nashville yet.
“I’ve got some good news, Sawyer. You know how they say when God closes a door, he opens a window. Well, you’ve got a big huge window open for you!”
“Dan, have you been drinking? What the heck are you even talking about?”
“Barnwell called. He wants to sign you to his label and immediately drop an album. They even want a U.S. tour planned, and maybe an international one if that one goes well.”
“I told you I’m done.”
“Don’t be a fool, Sawyer. Barnwell will produce the music you want. Think of all the years you put into this! Nobody walks away from something like this. You’ll be kicking yourself when you’re eighty.”
For a moment, Sawyer daydreamed about sitting with Laura in rocking chairs on the front porch of their own beach house, each of them in their eighties. He couldn’t imagine regretting anything.
“No. I’m happy here, Dan. I got my life back. I met someone…”
“Oh Good Lord! This is about a woman? I can get you another woman in Nashville who will suit you just as good!”
“Goodbye, Dan.” Sawyer ended the call before his anger got the best of him. No woman would suit him like Laura, and he had to tell her the truth. Today.
“So glad you could help me today. Sawyer had a check up with his orthopedic doctor. I don’t think the doctor is going to like the fact that he just threw his air cast in the bushes the other night,” Laura said laughing.
“Well, this has been fun. Everyone here seems so nice!”
“They are, Carrie. The best people I’ve ever met.”
“So this is home now?” she asked.
Laura stopped for a moment and smiled, before she went back to wiping down the bar. “Yes. This is home now.”
“I’ve never seen you so happy, my friend. I’m proud of you.” Carrie pulled Laura into a tight hug. “And your mother would be too.”
“And what about Aunt Dahlia?”
“Oh, she’s going to love this place! You have to invite her soon.”
“I will. I’ll email her tonight, in fact. Maybe she can come visit before you leave.”
“Oh, sweetie, I can’t stay long. I’ve got to get back to life in the big city.”
Laura frowned. “Well, you just remember that January Cove welcomes everyone, so when you get tired of the noise and the lack of hunky Southern men, you come back and stay, okay?”
Carrie nodded. “Maybe you should work for the tourism department here.”
“Hey, you want to go grab a coffee at Jolt?”
“Sure. I need a jolt right now.” Carrie said. “My boss is a beast!”
The two women laughed as they locked up and started heading toward the coffee shop. Laura pointed out all of the points of interest in town as they made their way to Rebecca’s coffee shop.
“Whoa. Oh. My. God.” Carrie stopped in her tracks, her hand over her mouth.
“What?” Laura asked, immediately worried something was majorly wrong with her friend. She turned to see what Carrie was looking at. There was Sawyer at the end of the road, walking toward them but looking down at his phone.
“Sawyer Griffin.” Carrie started fanning herself.
“You know him?” Laura was completely confused.
Carrie turned to her friend and then back to Sawyer, who had walked into Jolt ahead of them, still unaware of their presence. A look of recognition spread across her face as she put two and two together.
“That’s your Sawyer?” she asked.
Laura stared at her friend. “I don’t get it. What’s going on, Carrie? How do you know Sawyer?”
Carrie took a deep breath. “Did he not tell you who he is?”
“Who he is? I don’t even know what that means.”
“Laura, Sawyer Griffin is just about one of the biggest stars in country music. He’s toured all over the world, and he’s produced several albums. I have a ton of his music on my playlist. Look.” She handed her phone to Laura, a list of Sawyer’s songs taking up the whole page.
Laura stared down at the electronic device as if it was from another planet. She hit play on one of the songs, and sure enough, it was Sawyer. The very same Sawyer who had sung to her in his living room. The same one who told her he was a struggling - and failing - music artist.
“I don’t understand…” she stammered. “Why would he do this? Why would he tell me he wasn’t successful? He lied to me.”
Just then, Sawyer came out of Jolt and noticed Laura standing there with Carrie. A smile spread across his face as he waved at her.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said as he leaned in and kissed her cheek. She stilled and didn’t make eye contact with him. “Hi. I’m Sawyer. You must be Carrie?” The nervousness in his voice was apparent. He reached out to shake Carrie’s hand, but never took his eyes off of Laura.
Carrie slowly nodded, unsure of how to respond. “Yes. Nice to meet you.”
“I have to go,” Laura said as she started quickly walking back toward the B&B. Sawyer started to chase after her, but Carrie grabbed his arm.
“Is she okay?” he asked.
“No. She’s not.”
He looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed. “Then I should go catch up with her.”
Carrie held on to his arm. “I liked your last album, Sawyer. And I saw you in Baltimore a couple of years ago.”
His eyes grew wide. “She knows.” It wasn’t a question. It was more of a statement. “Damn it. I was going to tell her tonight.”
“Well, I think you might be a little late on that one.”
“I didn’t intend to deceive her, Carrie.” He leaned against the brick wall of the old building. “It was just nice being with someone who didn’t care who I was.”
“She opened herself up to you, Sawyer. And yet again, a man wasn’t who he said he was
.”
“You’ve known her since you were both kids. Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
Carrie bit her lips. “I don’t know this new Laura. She became someone else because of you. I can’t say what she’ll do, but good luck to you, Sawyer. I think you’re going to need it.”
“Knock knock,” Carrie said as she slowly entered Laura’s room. Laura was standing in the window, looking down on the quiet January Cove streets.
“I feel like a fool.”
Carrie hugged her friend from behind. “Sweetie, you couldn’t have known. You’re not a fan of country music, after all. Now, if he’d been some kind of classical music star…” Carrie’s efforts at making a joke fell flat.
“I don’t understand why he lied to me. I opened myself up to him in a way that I’d never done with anyone.”
“Maybe he has an explanation, Laura. I think he’s a good guy…”
“Don’t. Do not defend him!” She pulled away from Carrie. “I need some time alone. I’ll be back in awhile, okay?”
Before Carrie could answer, Laura was out the door.
The next few days were awkward to say the least. Carrie left for Baltimore, and Laura didn’t want Sawyer in the bakery. So she worked alone, and it was hard. She put out an ad in the local paper to find some part-time help before she keeled over of exhaustion.
Living in a small town meant seeing Sawyer on the street almost daily. He tried to wave, tried to smile. She would walk the other way even if it meant going the long way. And everyone knew what had happened. She could see it on their faces.
He kept texting her and calling her. She’d hit “ignore” so many times on her phone that she feared she would develop a callus on her thumb. And when he’d shown up at Addy’s, Laura had locked her door and refused to answer.
She felt deceived. Everyone around her had known, and yet no one had said a word. Even Addy. And Clay. And Brad.
Maybe she’d been wrong about everyone. Maybe she should go back to Baltimore where she was bored, but at least she knew where people stood. Where their loyalties were. She was an outsider in January Cove, and maybe she would never be part of the crowd.
“Hi, Laura,” Addy said softly as she approached the counter in the empty bakery.
“Hello.” Laura tried not to make eye contact. “What can I get you?”
“I’d like a red velvet please,” she said. “And the opportunity to apologize.”
For some reason, Laura couldn’t help tearing up. She quickly wiped away the stray tear and pulled a red velvet cupcake from the case, placing it in a clear plastic box and handing it to Addy.
“No apology necessary,” she said. “Your loyalty should be with your friend.”
Addy handed her the money. “Laura, it wasn’t like that. Sawyer had his reasons, and he promised me he would tell you soon and…”
“Addy, I appreciate your hospitality, but I think I should tell you that I’ve found a rental home over near Savannah. So I’ll be moving out this weekend.”
Addy looked stunned. “Oh. Okay. Savannah? That’s quite a drive…”
“I’ve got some decisions to make. I’m looking at space over in Savannah. Maybe I’ll have someone take over this location. I didn’t plan to expand so soon, but life throws you curveballs sometimes.”
Addy nodded and took her cupcake. “If I can help you in any way, Laura, please know I’m here. You’re a part of January Cove now, and no one wants to see you leave.”
“Well, small town life might not be for me, as it turns out.” Her gaze followed Sawyer walking down the sidewalk in front of the bakery.
Laura locked the door to the bakery and looked around, trying to make sure that Sawyer wasn’t anywhere to be seen. She hadn’t seen him for a couple of days, so maybe he had gone back to Nashville.
Her rental house had gotten delayed. Something about a roof leak. So she would be at Addy’s for at least another week.
Instead of going back to her room, she decided to take a walk down to the beach to clear her head. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal.
A part of her felt like she was overreacting. After all, Sawyer hadn’t slept with another woman or hidden a secret wife and kids somewhere. At least not that she knew of.
But he had lied. At least by omission. He had let her believe he was just some guy trying to make it in Nashville.
She had felt the worst when she checked his name on Google, which she should have done before. Pages upon pages came up along with videos of his concerts. She had listened to each of his albums, noting how the most recent one was so different, so much more like what he’d played for her that night at his house.
And if she was honest with herself, she missed him. Ached for his presence. How had she fallen so hard and so fast for someone she really didn’t know? That thought scared her, and it made her lose trust in herself a little bit.
Maybe she hadn’t changed at all.
She sat down by the water’s edge, dipping her now bare feel in the lapping waves. The sun would be going down soon, and something about sitting by the ocean in the dark allowed her to block out all of the voices debating what to do inside of her head.
“You’re a hard lady to reach.”
Sawyer.
“Go away,” she said, too tired to stand up after manning the bakery alone for days.
“No.” He sat down beside her and stared out at the open water. “I remember when I was a kid and my father would drive me crazy about something. I always came out here and felt like I could throw my problems to the ocean wind and they’d be magically wiped away.”
“And did it work?” she asked softly without looking at him.
“Not once.” Sawyer sighed. “Laura, I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you who I was.”
“Yes, you should have.”
“I want to explain…”
“And I don’t want to hear it. Please just leave me alone, Sawyer.”
“I can’t do that. I need you to know why I did what I did.”
She turned and looked at him, trying desperately not to show the pain in her face. He looked tired; no less handsome, but tired.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said softly. “You didn’t trust me with who you really are.”
His jaw tightened as he sucked in a sharp breath. “See? That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you,” he said, standing up and pacing along the shoreline. She stood to face him.
“What?”
“I’ve got millions of fans, Laura. Millions. Random strangers want me to sign stuff in case it might be worth money one day. Women throw under garments at me while I’m on stage. When I walk through a crowd, I get pinched on my butt by complete strangers. Does that seem normal to you?”
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you, Sawyer? You chose the life of a famous musician. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
He shook his head and looked down. “I thought you knew me better than this.”
“You didn’t tell me…”
“No. I didn’t. And you want to know why? Because I came back to January Cove to find myself again. People here don’t care who I am. They don’t follow me around with a camera, waiting for me to look ugly or kiss a woman so they can sell the photo to the tabloids. They don’t write nasty blog posts and articles about how sucky my last album was… you know, the one that I poured my heart and soul into? They just accept me as Sawyer. And when I met you and realized you had no idea who I was, it made me happy. You liked me for just being me. Not rich and famous me. Just me. Or so I thought.” He sighed. “You said I didn’t trust you with who I really was. That’s not true, Laura. This is who I really am, not some caricature of a superstar musician.”
“But you didn’t trust me, or that I could know that information and still have feelings for you…” she started.
“I barely knew you. When you’re a celebrity, your guard has to be up or…”
“Or I might have wanted you for the money?” she said,
her hands on her hips.
“That’s not what I was saying at all. Look,” he said, walking forward and grasping her hands, “I’ve never felt this way about a woman. I love you, Laura. I’m not going to deny it. But what I need to know is if you love me too? Can we work on getting past this?”
She looked away from him, tears building up in her eyes. “I don’t know, Sawyer. I feel like I don’t really know you. I’ve already been with one man who turned out to be someone else.”
He dropped her hands and stiffened, his jaw tight. “No. You’re right. We don’t really know each other. I thought you were the one woman on Earth who wouldn’t care about my fame, but it turns out you do. So maybe I should just take Dan’s offer…” he said as he started walking away.
“Dan? What offer?” she called to him.
Sawyer turned one last time. “I’m going to go be what everyone thinks I should be. A freaking sell-out.”
Laura sat at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee and staring into space. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to just forget all of this had happened, but how could she? The last thing she needed in her life was another romantic drama to upend her whole world.
“You look exhausted, Laura. Is there anything I can do?” Addy asked as she sat down across from her. “Besides apologize again?”
Laura smiled sadly. “I’m not mad at you, Addy. I understand you were just protecting your friend.”
“Did you talk to Sawyer?”
“Yes. A little while ago he found me on the beach.”
“And did you guys work anything out?” Addy asked hopefully.
“No. I just don’t understand why he couldn’t trust me.”
“Did he mention someone named Paula to you?”
“No. Who’s Paula?” Laura asked, ready for some other huge secret to be revealed.
“I probably shouldn’t break Sawyer’s confidence here, but I’m going to because I know how much he cares about you, and I want to see y’all work this out.”
“Okay…”
“Sawyer told me that a few years ago, after his second album, he met a woman named Paula at a Nashville coffee shop. At first, she was kind of a fangirl, but then they started getting close. He thought she really liked him for who he was. This was at the height of his career when he was playing the big stages, but what he really wanted was to be in love with a normal woman. She played that part for almost six months before one day he found out she’d been taking out credit in his name and using his debit card. He lost thousands of dollars and ended up in court with this woman. It broke him, Laura. He stopped trusting women. He didn’t date anymore. So when you came along and truly had no idea who he was, it felt like his only real chance at being himself and finding a woman who might love him just because he was Sawyer.”