“I stood out back the day of my father’s funeral, looked up, and you were there,” Gray told her, his gaze softening, though his voice remained stern. Just the way she liked it. “And I told myself it made sense. I told myself it was practical. Reasonable. Rational as hell and good for my daughter. But the truth is, I just wanted you.”
“You have to stop,” she whispered to him. “Please, you can’t say these things.”
“I don’t really know how to love,” Gray told her solemnly, the same way he’d said his vows in city hall. As if he was carving them into stone with his voice alone. “I know how to give myself to the land. I know how to be a father, more or less. But I never believed I was capable of anything else. I never believed I deserved it.”
She moved then, pulling her hands from his so she could hold them against his jaw. “That’s your father talking.”
“I thought I was him,” Gray said simply.
“No,” Abby said with her own quiet certainty. Like another vow. “You’re nothing like him at all.”
“Baby, listen to me.”
He smiled up at her, and it dawned on her that it wasn’t the first time he’d called her “baby.” It wasn’t the first time the endearment had tumbled through her, wild and bubbly and right. Another tear made its way down her cheek, but she didn’t wipe it away.
She was too busy holding on to Gray for dear life.
“I want to love you for the rest of your life,” he told her, smiling this time. “I want to take care of you. I want to live with you. I want to fight with you and sleep with you and wake up in the morning to do it all over again. With you, Abby. Only with you.”
“I already said yes, Gray. I already married you.”
“You married me for all kinds of reasons,” Gray agreed. “You’re already my wife. But, Abby, I want you to be my everything. My love. My light. If you want words, I can give you words. If you want actions, I can do that too. I just want you. Because this is love, and I want more of it. I want all of it.”
“Of course, this is love,” Abby whispered, through tears and laughter that felt like the same thing. “I told you. I’ve always loved you.”
“And I made you feel like you were alone in that,” Gray said gruffly. “That’s not going to happen again.”
Abby sank down on her knees, pressed herself against him, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes to love. To words and actions, light and happiness and everything else. Especially the everything else. I want it all.”
“We’ll make a new deal,” Gray said, low and urgent. “I’ll believe that I’m capable of love, if you’ll believe you’re beautiful. Because you are. More and more, every time I look at you.”
She had never believed that. She’d have assured anyone who asked that she knew better. But Gray was looking at her as if she was his very own Christmas. And she could almost see the woman he saw.
“I believe in you,” she whispered.
“And I love you,” Gray told her, like he knew she could never get enough of those words. “I love you, Abby.
“I love you too,” Abby whispered against his mouth, so much happiness inside her she might burst. “Merry Christmas, cowboy.”
Then she kissed him in the glow of all those unexpected Christmas lights.
She kissed him because it was Christmas morning, and of all the things he’d given her this morning, the sweetest by far was hope.
Hope. Love. Him.
Abby kissed him and she kissed him, until they were both laughing, because his brothers were in the doorway and Becca was clapping her hands together with tears wetting her cheeks.
Hope, Abby thought. Love. Family.
And the perfect Christmas she’d always wanted, after all.
* * *
A week later, Gray and Abby planned to stay up and watch the New Year’s ball drop from the comfort of the couch, leaving the parties to Gray’s brothers and the all-night sleepovers to Becca.
By nine o’clock they were upstairs in bed, which suited Gray fine.
It was coming on eleven when he’d finally sated himself, for the moment. The sheets were tangled around them, and Abby’s beautiful, naked body was stretched out next to his in the cool air while they both fought for breath.
“I have something for you,” Gray said.
He twisted to reach for his bedside table, and when he turned back, Abby had curled on her side, propped up on one elbow and smiling that sleepy, lazy, sexy smile of hers that Gray knew he’d love looking at for the rest of his life.
He wasn’t a man of too much ceremony, so he took her hand in his and slid the ring into place.
For a moment she said nothing.
“You got me a ring,” she breathed.
“I gave you the gold ring for all the practical things we wanted out of this marriage,” he told her, playing with the wedding band. Then he moved to the new, much more sparkly ring. “But this one is for the rest of it.”
“Love,” she whispered. “A Colorado aquamarine, in case I need reminding what the sky looks like.”
“Yes.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “Together, they’re forever.”
“That’s what we are, Gray,” she said, and she kissed him again.
Sweeter. Deeper. Until he could feel the heat roar in him anew.
He pulled her into his arms, but paused when she took her mouth from his.
“I have something for you too,” she said.
“I don’t think a pretty ring will look that great on me.”
Abby smiled. Then she took one of his hands in hers and slid it down to cover her belly.
Gray froze. It couldn’t—
His hand tightened against her. He searched her face until she nodded, her smile wide and happy.
“It’s better than a ring,” she said. “It’s the future. Our future.”
Gray leaned over so he could press his mouth against the place where his next child grew.
Once, twice, until Abby’s eyes were damp, and they were both laughing again.
Just the way his future should feel, Gray thought. Because there was a lot of road to travel between this bed and that grave by the river, and he intended to acquaint himself with every colorful, beautiful, glorious inch of it.
With his practical, wonderful, perfect wife by his side.
One kiss at a time.
Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for joining Gray and Abby for Christmas at Cold River Ranch!
I hope you loved your trip to the Colorado mountains. And I really hope you loved a little glimpse into the complicated Everett family.
The story doesn’t end here! Look for Cold Heart, Warm Cowboy next summer (2019). We’ll head back to Cold River and out to the Everett ranch to see bull-riding rodeo star Ty and the life—and love—he can’t quite remember …
Until then—
Happy Reading!
About the Author
USA Today bestselling, RITA-nominated, and critically acclaimed author Caitlin Crews has written a lot of books: from women’s fiction, chick lit, and work-for-hire young adult novels to Harlequin Presents. These days her focus is on contemporary romance, from small town to international glamor, cowboys to bikers, and beyond. She sometimes teaches creative writing classes both online at mediabistro.com and at UCLA Extension’s prestigious Writers’ Program, where she finally utilizes the MA and PhD in English Literature she received from the University of York in York, England. She currently lives in California with a husband, who draws comics and animation storyboards, and their menagerie of ridiculous animals. You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
A TRUE COWBOY CHRISTMAS
Copyright © 2018 by Caitlin Crews.
All rights reserved.
For information address St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.
www.stmartins.com
eISBN: 9781250295248
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St. Martin’s Paperbacks edition / November 2018
St. Martin’s Paperbacks are published by St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.
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