by Ciara Knight
“Then what is it?”
How could she explain to the man that she didn’t trust herself in a car alone with him? She about-faced, marched to the car where Dustin waited holding the door open for her, and plopped into the passenger seat.
Dustin rounded the car, hopped in, and drove halfway to Cocoa Beach in silence. The sun drifted down, and Trace’s thoughts slipped to her last day in Brazil before Matt had decided to impress her with thwarting the big oil rig. He’d been twenty years her junior, and she hadn’t taken him seriously enough when he’d warned her the owner of the company was only using her to get what he wanted. How had someone so young understood so much? Her pulse revved, her heart revved, her sorrow revved to full throttle.
“Whatcha thinking about over there?” Dustin asked in a light tone, soothing her anxiety, or at least distracting her long enough so she could escape the memories.
“Nothing I can share with you."
He shot her a sideways glance and then pulled the car to a stop off the road onto the gravel shoulder.
“What are you doing?” Trace yanked at the constricting seat belt bruising her clavicle.
He gripped the steering wheel and didn’t look at her. “Listen, I’d hoped to have a pleasant evening with you, but that isn’t going to happen.”
“I didn’t mean…” She lifted her chin, fighting away the anxious tears she’d managed to escape when she’d seen Matt through the window, watching her embraced in a kiss with Robert Remming. Matt had tried to warn her about the man, but she hadn’t listened. Maybe if she had, he wouldn’t have rented a too-small boat in too-high seas to get proof of the oil rig’s faulty procedures. A stunt that had cost him his life. “Take me home.”
“No.” He dropped his hands to his sides and leaned his head against the rest behind him. “Listen. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never been a direct man because I’ve never had to be. If you hate me for taking Rhonda’s side, I understand, but I’m asking for another chance. A chance to work with you to fix up your father’s place without resentment and hostility.”
She blinked the tears away and forced the horrific memories from her mind. “I don’t hate you.”
Dustin released his seat belt and angled to face her. “Then what is it? Do I aggravate you that much? I know you think I’m shallow and that I’m a man who only cares about the next business deal—and maybe that was true once, but I came here to be a different person. I’ll help any way I can with your father’s place, and I vow never to try to tear it down again. I don’t know how many times I have to say I’m sorry, but I didn’t know at the time.”
Trace fidgeted with her purse strap, trying to think of something to say. Honesty would be a good start, but was he really trying to change, or was it all an act like Robert? A game he’d play to get what he wanted. “I forgive you. Let’s go eat.” She channeled her inner Wind and produced an Emmy award-winning smile. “I’m hungry.”
His head tilted to one side as if he needed to look at her from another angle. “So you trust me now?”
“Trust? I don’t know that I trust anyone. Let’s just try to work together without too many arguments.” She could see in the way he returned to driving with his head a little lower and shoulders slumped that she hadn’t given him what he wanted. She had no clue what that was. Wind’s words filtered into her head. “Are you lonely?”
The car swerved. Dustin cleared his throat. “What?”
Trace didn’t look at him. She kept her gaze on the passing trees and small homes. “You’re the moon. A cold, lonely place where you’re stranded far from any real contact with anyone.”
Dustin laughed. Too loud for the small space of a car.
“Forget it.” Trace twisted the strap of the purse into submission. “Last time I listen to Wind.”
Dustin turned down a side road headed for the beach. “How does she do that? I mean, I thought I could read people in a boardroom. It’s what’s served me well in business. But Wind takes it to a new level. She can look at a person and know what they’re thinking. You sure she isn’t a mind reader instead of a dancer and actress?”
The tension in Trace’s neck eased. “You have a point. The woman is gifted at knowing everything about everyone before they know it themselves. She told me that I’d go on a date with you before we went to the courthouse to fight it out. I told her she was crazy, but now look at us.”
“On a date.”
Trace snapped her gaze to Dustin, who drove with an ear-to-ear grin on his face. “Non-date.”
“Oh no, that’s not what you said. You said date.” Dustin pulled into a parking lot and settled the car into a space before cutting the engine and looking at her. “If you insist. That means I pay.” He bolted from the car before she could argue.
No. No. No. This wouldn’t happen. She couldn’t and wouldn’t date another man like Robert. Not when a man like that cost a person too much.
Robert had cost Trace her job, her career, her dignity, her friend. Acid roiled and boiled up her throat. No, she couldn’t trust Dustin. Not with her father’s place, not with her future, not with her heart. She needed to be a moon. A dark, cold, lonely place where she couldn’t be hurt or hurt anyone else.
The door flew open, and she pushed the emotions down, closed the compartment on loss and fear and hope. But when she stood up too fast and the emotions and lack of food took hold, dizzying her, Dustin was there to catch her. He held her up with his strong arms and made her believe he could be a man worth trusting.
Dustin wrapped one arm around her and brushed her hair from her face. “I’ve got you.”
There were never three more terrorizing words Trace had ever heard in her life, because for the briefest of moments, she believed him.
Chapter Sixteen
The restaurant he’d carefully chosen so as not to be too fancy or romantic yet calm with a beautiful setting was anything but those things. Dustin kept his hand out to make sure some drunken college kid didn’t bump into Trace.
He longed to ask her what she was thinking about, had been thinking about since they’d ridden over here together. It didn’t look good. Something in her past, maybe? Part of him wanted to ask Wind about it, but that wouldn’t be right. He couldn’t go behind Trace’s back to find out. If he’d gotten to know Trace at all, he knew one thing: She didn’t like people who weren’t honest.
“Why don’t we go somewhere else?” he shouted over the bad karaoke echoing around the Tiki-style restaurant, pounding relentlessly against his head.
“Everything around here will be packed. It’s summer and a weekend. We could go back to Skip’s.”
No. That wasn’t happening. Dustin wanted a chance to get to know Trace better. He was intrigued and attracted to her, no matter how much he protested to everyone else. He eyed the bar area and spotted a takeout sign. The view out the back window was romantic with the moon setting, and it wasn’t a windy evening. “I’ve got a better idea. Wait here.”
He went to the sign and waited for a girl to return with bags for two other people. “How long to get an order to go?”
“Depends on what you want,” she hollered over the music still blaring over the speaker.
“What’s quick?”
“Special. Grilled grouper sandwich and fries are available now since the person just called and canceled their order.”
“Sold.” Dustin paid the lady and only hoped Trace liked the food. He knew she wasn’t a vegetarian based on what she had eaten at Jewels’s birthday party a few months back, so he took a shot, paid for the food, and joined Trace once more by the door. “Come on.”
“What?” She cupped her ear, and he knew it was a losing battle to speak in this bar, so he took her by the hand and headed out the door. The fading of the ear-piercing music and the welcoming of the night air made him grasp the possibility that the night wasn’t a complete loss.
Even better, he noticed at the edge of the beach, was that Trace hadn’t pulled her hand away from his
. Instead, she walked with their arms brushing on occasion. “I’m sorry about that place. I spent so much time looking for the best spot for a non-date with you that I never thought about what night of the week it was.”
“You did?” Trace looked up at him with soft eyes. The anger and resentment had been replaced by an inquisitive raise of a brow.
“Yeah. I mean, I couldn’t take you just anywhere, not after all that’s happened between us so far. I wanted to take you for a nice meal to prove I wasn’t a jerk who wanted to rip your childhood from you. The place couldn’t be too fancy, or you’d accuse me of being full of myself and wanting to seduce you or something. I didn’t want to take you to a dump because you deserve better. It couldn’t be too romantic, or you’d think I was trying to trick you.”
“Have I been that bad?” Trace chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I have. But in my defense, we didn’t start off well.”
Dustin paused halfway down the beach and hung a right, spotting a nice spot with smooth sand farther down the beach away from the music. “You weren’t. It was justified. As a matter of fact, you impressed me. You showed your strength and were direct and firm. I’m an idiot. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Trevor. He’s told me that all the time since I arrived.”
“Really? What else does Trevor tell you?” she asked.
Dustin stopped and set the bag down. His pulse double-timed. “I’m not sure how to answer that. If I tell you the truth, you might run. If I tell you a lie, you’ll know it and hate me.”
Trace tightened her grip on his hand. “Truth. I always want the truth, no matter what.”
Dustin didn’t look away, crack a joke, or throw out some compliment to win her affection. Instead, he did as she asked. “He told me that I should stop lying to myself and him because I was lost the day I saw you at Jewels’s birthday party. You came out in that formfitting dress with more strength and drive and conviction and honesty and natural beauty than any woman I’ve ever met in my life.”
The breeze picked up, sending Trace’s hair flying like a halo around her head. He reached up and smoothed it away from her face while keeping hold of her with his other hand. He wanted to kiss her, pull her into his arms and show her how much he thought of her, but it was too soon.
“You see me that way? Not a cranky old lady who’s always shouting about some tree-hugging cause?”
“Old, no. Cranky, sometimes. Tree hugger, often. Beautiful inside and out, always.”
Trace looked up at him, and he thought he’d be lost forever in her gaze, but then she took a step away and his gut clenched tight. “Don’t put me on a pedestal. I’m not that person. I’m not strong or brave or even good.” Her voice cracked, and he couldn’t imagine what Trace could have to be ashamed of in her life. The woman only cared about making things better.
He cupped her cheek. “I think you’re exactly those things.”
She shooed his hand away. “Don’t. I’m not. I’ve done things. Things I don’t want to talk about. Not with you, not with the girls, not with myself. I can’t talk.” She sank to the sand, pulled out the boxes of food, and plopped one on her lap.
He knelt by her side and scooted the box from her lap. “Is this about your father?” Dustin settled cross-legged in front of her and took both her hands.
“Not only my father.” She looked to the stars, and he saw the tears pooling in her eyes. They were like acid on his heart. “It’s more than that.”
He stroked her hand with his thumb, willing her to trust him. “What is it?”
The surf crashed against the sand, drawing Trace’s attention. She took in a stuttered breath and shook her head. “I-I caused a friend and his family great pain.”
Seagulls squawked above, as if to question her words before he could. “I doubt that’s possible.”
The moon shone down on her skin, illuminating her face in a mystical glow, highlighting the pain etched in the lines around her eyes. “It’s the truth. And what’s worse is what I did to cause him so much pain. I was focused on myself. What I wanted and not on my job. He tried to show me the truth, and I didn’t listen. So you see, Dustin Hawk, you have no reason to apologize to me for being a businessman who mows over people for what he wants. I’m worse. I pretend to be a good person, even though I’m not. I’m the kind of person that ruins people’s lives or, worse, causes their deaths.”
Chapter Seventeen
Trace thanked the Lord for Dustin not pushing her for more information. He only held her and watched the moon and stars dazzle in the sky above. The night had gone from emotional to exceptional, but when he pulled up to the curb at Jewels’s place, she didn’t want the night to end. That scared her more than anything.
Dustin grasped the handle to the car door, but she stayed his movement with a soft touch to his forearm. “Wait.”
He sat back and looked through the front windshield and then to her. “You don’t need to tell me anything. But if you’d like to tell me what happened, I’ll listen.”
The tunnel at the edge of the fence jiggled, telling Trace that Houdini waited and watched. He was the perfect small-town, all-up-in-your-business resident.
She closed her eyes and knew that this was her way out of how she was feeling. The way her pulse quickened at the sight of Dustin. His touch heated her skin, and his kindness soothed her anger and resentment and hatred for herself. No. She didn’t want to care for a man. Especially a man like Dustin. Sure, he wasn’t some important oil tycoon, but he was still a man of business and played the manipulation game. She’d witnessed his tactics firsthand. “I’m not allowed to talk about this, but I can’t let you think I’m somebody I’m not. If you tell anyone, though—”
“I won’t.”
“I caused the death of my partner and friend while working to stop an oil rig from drilling off shore,” she blurted at rib-stinging speed.
He covered her hand with his, but she pulled away. “No. Don’t. I don’t deserve your comfort. I’ve criticized all your manipulative ways, but I’m a hypocrite.” She eyed the walkaway to Jewels’s front door and the escape route from the truth. A truth she’d avoided for so long, she almost believed the lie that it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t hold it in any longer. She had to tell someone, and if he hated her, it would be a solution to her attraction. And if he did tell someone, well, she deserved the punishment she’d receive for breaking the gag order.
Dustin didn’t say anything, which drew her to look at him once more. The man only sat there with soft eyes. Not even a hint of judgment on his rugged and handsome face.
She took in a sweltering breath of denial and exhaled the facts. “I worked as the lead on a project to stop an oil company from damaging the ocean habitat. There were rumors that the company cut corners, causing even more impact on sea life. It was my job to fight them—a fight I was ready for—but then I was invited in to be part of the company instead of working against it.” She fisted her hands. A sharp pain shot up her wrist.
Dustin reached over, unfurled her fingers, and entwined them with his.
She tugged to free herself. “No, I don’t deserve your comfort.”
He didn’t let go. “I think you’ve been facing this alone long enough.”
A dryness coated her tongue and throat. She thought she wouldn’t be able to speak again, but she glanced out the front windshield at the sparkling, moonlit waves. “I’d been in the business so long, I thought I was immune to their tactics, and I was—the normal business bait and switch and guiding me toward what they wanted me to see. But then the head of the company flew me to the oil rig. Something that would never happen in US waters. He invited me for an unobstructed all-access tour of the rig, along with an inspector. That had never happened before. I’d always been a gnat on an ape, not worth anyone’s attention. But there I was, getting the red carpet treatment.”
Dustin shifted in his small seat and angled to face her as if there was nothing else in the world that meant more than her words.
She
needed to get this out and stop paddling around the gapping whirlpool of regrets. “I was dazzled by the man. He convinced me that he had been thinking about getting out of the oil industry altogether. That he’d made his money and I’d changed his mind about what he was doing.”
The tunnel at the edge of the walkway raddled again, as if her words were too much for Houdini to witness, not that he could hear from that distance or understand. If she could crawl into that tunnel with him at this moment, she would.
Say it. Confess and let him know the person you really are.
Trace cleared her throat. “I fell for him and his manipulation, hook, line, and drill. My intern and friend told me how I was being used, but I told him he was jealous. That he was my intern and still had a lot to learn. I was a fool. And it cost him his life and my reputation.”
Dustin tucked her hair behind her ear and tipped her chin to force her to look at him.
“I allowed myself to be used. And then I wouldn’t listen. There I was, the one who thought no one ever listened to me, even though I knew I was in the right. I’d trained Matt. He only did something based on a story I’d told him about a stunt I pulled years ago.” A coldness seeped out from her insides, and she shivered. “He looked up to me for so long. Had a crush on me, the way you do with teachers, so I dismissed him the way I’d been dismissed all those years.”
Dustin didn’t move, didn’t blink, didn’t breathe that Trace could hear. He only sat there, by her side, holding her hand and her grief. Finally he said, “I don’t believe it was your fault.”
“You don’t know what happened.”
“I don’t have to. I know who you are, and you would never harm anyone.”
“I was with the scoundrel Robert Remming, having wine and dinner and conversation and kissing when Matt took off on a boat too small for the waters, to unveil Robert’s deception. If I hadn’t been so caught up in being the center of attention in Robert’s eyes, I would’ve been with Matt and he wouldn’t have drowned trying to gather evidence. He was trapped beneath the small boat against the rig. A storm had rolled in, and he shouldn’t have been out there. It’s my fault the boy’s dead.”