It was then that I looked down and saw hundreds of little spiders seeping from beneath the crack of the door. Hundreds were escaping, but if there were hundreds fleeing… how many were still inside?
More screams from Fallon answered my question.
Spiders, oh shit! Fallon had always been terrified of spiders. It had always been one of her greatest fears… and no doubt the Elders knew it.
Sick assholes that they were.
“It is up to you to save your belle,” another Elder announced. “You have all the power. You have the keys. How long she suffers is in your control. Torture her or save her. Your choice.”
Not being able to take the time to process the words of the sadistic men behind me, I tried to unlock the first padlock one key at a time. “I’m coming, Fallon!” I screamed at the door as I tried to steady my shaky hand. “Hold on. I’m going to get you out of there.”
“They’re crawling all over me! I can’t get them off! There are so many! Rafe. Rafe!”
More screams. More cries. Just like the night my brother died. Haunting sounds of distress and horror. Over and over I heard her cry and scream at the door. She pounded her fists against the wood, but I knew her actions were pointless. Only I could get her out. Only me. All on me.
I got one padlock undone, but I couldn’t take joy in that since there were so many still to go. Spiders began to crawl up my leg, blackening the white fabric, but I had to focus on my hands and the keys. I stomped on them but soon realized that there were too many to defeat.
“Just keep brushing them off you. You can do this, Fallon. You can do this,” I tried to soothe as I worked the locks repeatedly, trying to find the matching key.
“I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!”
“Yes, you can. Deep breaths. You’re strong. You can handle this.”
“Get me out of here! Now! Now!”
I needed to stop the screaming. I needed to make it stop.
Just like my mother’s scream.
Just like my father’s howl at both the devil and God.
But Fallon’s cries were worse. So much worse.
“Try to calm down, Fallon. I’m working as fast as I can to free you.” Part of me wanted to ask the Elders for help, demand they assist me in getting her out, but at this point only I could do this. There wasn’t enough room to have more than my hands trying to work the locks anyway.
“Please, Rafe. Please get me out of here.” Her screams were becoming full-on sobs. “They’re in my hair! My hair!”
I was failing her. Just like I failed my brother in saving him. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do what was required.
“Hurry!” she howled, snapping me out of my self-pity. I needed to get her out of there. “I can’t be in here. I can’t.”
I glanced down at my legs and saw they were now nearly completely covered in spiders. The white fabric marred with little specs of crawling black. I could only imagine what Fallon’s white wedding dress looked like on the other side of this door.
“I’m coming! I’m coming!”
But the screams continued.
14
Fallon
I was back there. Playing in the old barn.
I wasn’t supposed to be playing there. But Rafe was playing with his other friends. Montgomery and Beau and the other boys.
I didn’t have any friends other than Rafe. He was popular, and I was the weird girl at school who wore old, scuffed shoes and hand-me-down uniforms. The kids made fun of me for being dirty. They said I didn’t take showers, but I did. Some mornings I didn’t have time, but I always made sure I didn’t smell. It wasn’t fair they said I smelled because I didn’t. I made sure. I made sure. I even put baby powder under my arms to make sure.
It didn’t stop them from teasing. From saying I had cooties. From saying their parents kept trying to get me kicked out of school because they didn’t think their children should have to go to school with “charity cases”. They’d paid good money to go here and it wasn’t fair that some unwashed idiot girl got to be in the same classes as they did. The maid’s daughter.
They’d worked hard to give their children the advantages they did, and what had my mother done? Spread her legs for some loser and never made it to college. Not fair, they said. It was teaching their children that hard work wasn’t rewarded, that you could just skip to the front of the line with no effort. Think of the children.
But the board didn’t budge, and I was allowed to keep going to school there. That didn’t stop people from having opinions about it, and so, naturally, did their children, because they were not quiet about their opinions.
Everyone at school hated me. Except Rafe. His friends were nice enough to me, when they weren’t ignoring me.
But Rafe couldn’t protect me every second of the day, and girls were cruel. Especially Julia, who had a crush on Rafe.
She’d been mean to me on the playground today and told me no one wanted me there, and I should move to Mexico where I belonged. I was confused and told her I wasn’t Mexican. She just laughed and said I was so stupid I didn’t even know where I came from.
But I was born in Darlington County Hospital, same as she was, and I told her so.
That was when she hit me. When I was on the ground, she told me I was stupid again.
So, when I got home from school, I ran straight here to the barn behind Rafe’s house instead of going to wait out back of the kitchens like I usually did. I didn’t want Mama to see the bruise on my eye.
Stupid Julia. I kicked a hay bale, wishing it was her face.
That was when it happened.
I kicked the hay bale, and then the golden hay bale started to turn black. At first I was confused, and I bent over to see what had happened.
That was when I saw. I must have disturbed a nest of spiders, because they’d all come spilling out, little tiny spiders.
I started screaming but it was like I’d been paralyzed. Maybe they’d spit some paralyzing venom at me. That was what I thought, because I literally couldn’t move.
I hated spiders, always had, but it was never anything like this, being so close to what felt like a thousand thousand spiders, all spilling out of that tiny hole.
Down the hay bale they went, and out onto the floor and towards the sole of my boot.
Run away. I needed to run away!
But I was frozen. Just as frozen as I had been when Julia had said those horrible things and all the other girls had laughed and laughed at me. I hadn’t been able to say anything back or run away or do anything but take it and fight back tears because that would’ve made me look even stupider, even smaller in front of those mean girls.
And the spiders came swarming closer, closer, and all I could do was scream and watch them come. They were about to get me, to swarm up my little leg, to devour me until there was nothing left, nothing left. Just like I felt after Julia and her gang finally left me alone, it felt like there was nothing left inside—
They started up my boot and up my leggings. I screamed and screamed and felt light-headed and dizzy.
Run, run! my brain screamed, but my feet were stuck, and I couldn’t do a thing to save myself.
But then there was his voice.
“Fallon! Fall!”
Rafe.
My hero.
He swooped in right before all those spiders ate me up.
He yanked me backwards and swept all the spiders off me. He yanked off my boot and checked for spider bites. He took me up to his room and every time I said I felt another spider and felt like crying, he’d do an in depth “spider inspection” with a flashlight to assure me I was safe now.
He made everything better when I’d been sure I was a goner.
It all came back in a flood of memories.
Except this was no memory.
This was very, very real. And these weren’t innocent little barn spiders I’d unearthed. There was just enough light to see the big, fat, hairy backs of the little pests.
And the terrified adrenaline of when I was a paralyzed little girl was hitting me full force. Here I was screaming again, except Rafe couldn’t get to me this time.
And they were crawling up my legs. Oh God, they were on me. They were everywhere. I couldn’t get away. I couldn’t bat them off, if I touched them, they’d just get on my hands, and they’d bite, and they’d--
“Rafe!” I shrieked, “Rafe, help!” I hated that all I could do was scream like a girl. A pathetic, stupid girl.
But I was frozen, crying stupid useless tears, frozen, frozen while they crawled, up my legs under the dress, up the dress, up the lace, covering the white with black, covering, consuming. They’d eat me alive; I’d just be bones in a dress. Why wasn’t Rafe coming, why wasn’t he saving me this time?
“Rafe!” I screamed; except this time my voice was just a hiss. One of the spiders had made it onto my chest. It crawled up my neck and my voice was gone.
Oh God, it was so big. It was so big and hairy, its legs were so long.
I could barely breathe; except I was breathing too hard. I was going to pass out, my chest was moving up and down too fast.
I tried to freeze, to stop breathing, but I couldn’t stop, the panicked breaths kept coming, tears squeezed out my eyes, the spider made it up my neck. It was on my face, oh God, oh God it was on my face, my face, MY FACE, it was crawling, hairy legs across my lips—
I swayed backwards, my vision going black.
“Fallon!”
Rafe exploded through the door.
His hands came to my face and he knocked the spider off my lips. I was so dizzy I barely could feel him yanking the dress off me and stomping, stomping all around us, screaming like that would scare the little monsters back.
Then he was yanking me forwards, out of the damp, terrible little room and out into the light.
A host of men stood there just watching. They’d all been there while I’d screamed for my life. The horror of that was just barely numbed by the horror of the spiders, and they were still on me, still crawling up my legs.
I came back to life, screaming and wriggling in Rafe’s arms. “Get them off! Get them off me!”
“I’m trying! Stand still,” Rafe said.
But I couldn’t. Now that I was finally unfrozen, I couldn’t stop moving. Couldn’t stop twisting and smacking at my skin.
Rafe brushed his hands all over my body but I couldn’t stop. I was itchy everywhere. I felt their terrible little legs everywhere. Unending. They were all over me. They were in my hair. They were crawling in my most intimate places. I hit at my vagina, I screamed, I bent in two, I tore at my hair.
“Fallon! Fallon!” Rafe screamed, holding me to him. “It’s okay, you’re okay now. I got them all. You’re safe. They’re gone. I got them all.”
But I couldn’t believe him. I still felt them. They were everywhere. I was frozen and he wasn’t there in time and they were biting me, eating me alive, my worst nightmare. I was still locked in that room and he was still on the other side of the door. Why was I frozen? Why couldn’t I move? Why the fuck couldn’t I protect myself?
“Get them off! Get them off!”
“Somebody sedate her.”
I just kept screaming and scratching. Rafe held my arms at my side, shushing me. “It’s okay now, Fallon. They’re all gone. You’re safe now.”
But I couldn’t stop. I could still feel them.
And then one sunk its teeth in my neck and the world went dark.
“What the fuck did you just give her?” I heard Rafe shout as my body relaxed.
“She was hysterical. Now she’ll sleep. Congratulations, you passed the Trial.”
And then their words came true. Darkness swallowed me whole.
* * *
When I woke, I immediately jumped up in bed, my hands sweeping up and down my body.
No spiders. I breathed out, my head sinking back.
Dear God, it was over. I was safe now. I blinked, looking around, but I could barely see a thing. It was nighttime.
I checked the clock by the bedside: 3:30 am. What the hell? It had been early evening when we’d started the Trial.
But then I remembered, shuddering. I’d been hysterical at the end. And some fucker had injected me with something. It hadn’t been a spider biting me. Those fucking bastards. Instead of helping to talk me down or soothe me, they’d just knocked me out.
Movement on the bed beside me had me looking over.
Was Rafe awake, too?
But no, he was asleep. Asleep but not at rest if the way he was tossing and turning was any indication.
His brow was knotted, distress on his face. He started to shake his head. “No,” he moaned. “No, Tim, no!”
My heart squeezed.
So many nightmares in this place. But I wondered how long these nightmares had tormented Rafe.
I put my hand on his shoulder, but he shook it off. “Tim, don’t,” he mumbled. But then he shouted. “Don’t! I’m sorry!” and startled awake.
His eyes were wild and sweat poured down his forehead.
“Rafe,” I called his name. “Rafe, it’s okay.”
Only after I said the words did I realize I was echoing what he’d said over and over to me earlier.
But just like when I’d relived my nightmare with the spiders, my words had little to no effect on Rafe.
He whipped off the sheet and got out of bed, standing with his back to me. He was breathing so hard, his back heaved up and down.
“Rafe?” I called softly. I crawled over the bed to get to his side. “Rafe, are you okay?”
“I was too late,” his voice was rough.
I frowned. What did he mean? “Too late for what?”
“I couldn’t get to you in time.”
I shook my head. “But you saved me. You got me out.”
“Not in time!” he all but shouted, ripping his hands through his hair. “Never in time!”
I drew back, not understanding his vehemence.
“I couldn’t help you. They had to knock you out.”
I ground my teeth. “They definitely did not have to do that.”
He spun around. “Don’t you see? I should have gotten you out before it ever got to that point. But there were so many keys, and I couldn’t find the right one.”
“And that was your fault?” I was furious. “Seems like the fault of the twisted fucks who would put us in this situation or do that to another human.”
But Rafe just shook his head. And when I reached for him, he pulled away even further.
I wanted to comfort him, but he wouldn’t let me. It wasn’t like last time. Even if he needed me, he wasn’t going to let himself have me.
“I’m going to take a shower,” he said brusquely.
I tried one last time, blinking at him coyly. Because the spiders weren’t that distant a memory. Didn’t he see that? I still needed him, too. He could still save me. I tried to put that in my eyes too. I tried to beg him to understand.
“I could come with you,” I suggested. I begged with my eyes.
But he stayed cold. “No, I’ll be fine on my own.” And he turned for the bathroom without another look back. The door closed behind him with a solid thud.
And I was left behind, bereft and alone as always.
He could leave me so easily.
He could turn it off. Just like that.
He didn’t see me. Maybe he never had. He didn’t see what I needed. Maybe it was his own demons, or maybe I’d just never been that important to him.
I wasn’t worth chasing, and I wasn’t worth staying for.
My jaw clenched, a familiar pain slicing through my chest.
I climbed out of bed and stomped across the room to my easel and my paints. They were stacking up now after more than two months cramped up in this stupid place. Painted canvases all but covered one side of the room, some drying, others stacked up already dry.
I kicked the painting Rafe and I had started to the side.
I’d been treasuring the mostly blank canvas with our messy globs of paint, stupidly preserving it out of ridiculous sentimentality.
I grabbed it off the floor and grabbed a small roller, covering it with a base gray to start a completely new picture. Erasing our painting. Erasing the moment we’d connected, erasing what I’d thought it meant, because I was obviously a stupid, stupid girl. Reaching for things that weren’t there and pretending Rafe was the one to come save me when he was just a broken prince too lost with his own ghosts to ever be able to love me.
15
Rafe
I remember the sound of silence from when I was a kid. We all sat at the dinner table together as a family… if that is what you would call us. We had our assigned chair—Dad at the head of the table, and Mom on the other end.
Timothy and I sat across from each other on each side of my father and we always used nice china, expensive flatware, and always fresh flowers as the centerpiece. It was the picture of perfection. Every single night it was expected we’d have dinner as a family.
All normal on the surface.
Except what no one would know from looking in from the outside… we ate in silence. Always silence. No questions about how our day was, how school went, or how work was going. Nothing. We ate in our own worlds even though we all sat together as a family.
Our silent family. Our mute family.
And as I ate breakfast at the head of the long table, with Fallon on the end of the other side, we sat in silence.
Our silent friendship.
Our mute past and present.
It dawned on me that I was slowly morphing into my father. He had made me all I had become. He had taught me the business that I was about to take over. He had taught me how to manage my money and make it grow even as I slept at night.
And he had also taught me how to be mute with the ones I loved.
And yes… Fallon fell into the category as someone I loved. Not that I would ever be able to tell her that. My father had taught me many things, but being loving, speaking from my heart… all skills I lacked thanks to my upbringing and my role models. I lived in my own world, and when I was hurt, angry, sad, or was afraid… I just went deeper in.
Opulent Obsession: A Dark Secret Society Romance Page 13