by Sarah Fine
“Oh, I meant no offense, ma’am,” said Ben, switching into his smooth customer-service voice. “I was just surprised at how thorough the . . . what’s it called? A glamour or something?”
“Call it whatever you want to,” Betsy said flatly. “We call it home.”
“We’re going to get set up,” Asa said before Ben could offend the woman further. “Help Mattie walk to the tent, okay? She’s a little unsteady.”
Ben looked utterly confused for a moment, but then his eyes lit on me, leaning against Asa. “Oh! Oh, damn, Mattie. I’m sorry.” He rushed forward and tugged me away from Asa.
I glanced around me. Curtains twitched within a few of the lighted trailers, and a few darkened ones as well. Our arrival had been noted by all. I clung to Ben as Asa released Gracie from the front seat. She sniffed at Vernon and Betsy, gave me a quick lick on the hand in passing, then scampered over to Asa. He pulled a black toolbox out of the van, along with his Walmart supplies, and walked ahead with Vernon and Betsy, talking quietly with them.
“You see what I mean?” Ben whispered, leaning low to talk in my ear. “What if he’s made some kind of deal with these hillbillies? These are the kind of people who steal babies to sell on the black market.”
“If anyone tries to sell me on the black market, feel free to grab me and jack Asa’s van,” I said with a groan. “Apart from that, give it a rest, okay?” It took me forever to get the words out, because I was too focused on getting one foot in front of the other. Everything felt wrong, like all my limbs had been pulled out of joint. Finally, my legs just sort of melted away beneath me in a flood of heavy tingling.
“Mattie!” Ben grabbed me before my face hit the ground.
“My legs,” I whispered. “They’re gone.” I drew in a halting breath. “My arms are going, too.”
“Asa,” shouted Ben, his voice tinged with panic as he pulled me against his chest and strode quickly after his brother.
I heard distant, urgent voices as Ben sped up. My world was oozing red, blood pulsing at the edges of my vision and thumping wetly in my ears. The pain that had been my constant companion for the last few months had evolved into a fanged beast, clawing for release. Then the darkness lifted, and I cried out as harsh light burned my eyes. We had entered one of the silk tents, and this one was lit with a few electric lanterns hanging from the frame above our heads. I writhed in Ben’s grip as he laid me down on something soft and low to the ground. A cot. Vernon plopped down next to me and patted my leg. “No worries, darlin’, we’ll pull it right out. We’ll work together.” He grinned again, and I stared at the crooked brown mess of his front teeth.
Asa coiled a length of rope around my legs, his expression tight and his movements sharp. “Vernon’s a pro, Mattie. You don’t have to worry about him.”
I looked at Vernon. “This is big. Really big.”
“I know, darlin’,” he said kindly. “Asa told me. Pretty sure I can take it.”
“He’s tough as a gator,” Betsy said, but I could hear the worry that stained her words.
Asa sank down on my other side. “You’re gonna be fine.” He glanced down at my arms, which I had forgotten were there. “Do you want them by your sides or tied over your head?”
“I can’t feel them, Asa.” I swallowed. “Can you just—”
“Got it. I’m in charge.”
My eyes fell shut in relief as Asa moved and shifted me, securing me to the cot while the pain devoured me.
“Is all this really necessary?” Ben asked.
Asa paused in his preparations. “How did you get it in there in the first place? This is some of the biggest, baddest magic in the whole fucking world. Didn’t she tell you she needed to be secured for the transaction?”
“Um. No. She didn’t tell me to secure her.” Ben said it haltingly, in the way someone does when he’s choosing every word carefully.
Asa picked up on it immediately. “What the fuck aren’t you telling me?”
Ben sighed. “She didn’t want to do it, okay? She was sick, and she had been for a long time. She didn’t want anything to do with magic. She hasn’t since last year, after you guys got me back.”
“Say that again,” Asa said slowly.
“I set it all up. I told her it was a romantic weekend in Chicago, hoping she would get on board when she realized how much money we could make. She didn’t budge. But that conduit guy pulled a gun. He threatened to kill me if she didn’t go through with it.”
“She did it to save you, then?”
“No. I tried to save us both. I fought the guy. But then . . .”
I arched up as pain stabbed straight down my spine, and Asa tightened the ropes. “Spit it out.” Each word was a bullet.
“He’d tied her to a massage table. And I hit him, and he just sort of fell on top of her.”
“So it happened by accident—”
“Let me finish,” Ben said loudly. I opened my eyes, and he gave me a look so intense that it reminded me of why I loved him. “Marcus had just told me that Zhong’s people were going to find us, and if the magic wasn’t hidden, they’d be able to track us.” His mouth twisted, and it looked as if he were choking on his words. “So I made the decision.”
Asa went very still. “Did she agree with that decision?”
“No,” Ben blurted out, his voice clogged with tears. “She begged me not to do it. But I was so scared, and I-I-I . . . I had to decide, Asa. I did it for both of us.”
“You did it for both of you,” Asa said, slow and wooden. “After Mattie begged you not to.”
“I know it sounds bad.” Ben was pleading.
“She can’t control it on the way in. And I’ll bet you knew that.” Asa’s gaze was on my shoulder, but his pupils were dilated. Unfocused. The relic clinked and rattled in his grip. “It forces its way inside whether she wants it or not.”
“But you have to understand—”
Asa jabbed his finger at the tent wall. “Wait over there.” Then his face was suddenly over mine, and his fingertips traced a delicate path along my throat. “Mattie,” he said, his voice firm. “Let me talk to Eve.”
“I can’t, Asa. I can’t do this.” It hurt to even think.
He leaned closer. “Who’s in charge?”
“You’re in charge, sir,” I answered automatically, and it was like a lever had been pulled. I looked up at his crooked nose, his honey eyes. “You’ve got me.”
The corner of his mouth twitched upward. “Yeah, baby. I’ve got you.” His fingers went hard over my throat as another bolt of pain went through me. “Hang on for me, okay? Breathe slow and easy. I’m handling this.”
I breathed while he pulled my T-shirt up and tied Vernon’s hairy arm across my belly.
“Damn,” muttered Vernon. “Girl needs to eat.”
“She will,” said Asa. “When we’re done.” He leaned over me again.
“You’re all sweaty, sir,” I mumbled.
He chuckled. “No shit. You’re killing me.”
“It’ll be worse for you when the magic is back in the relic.” It would hurt him. It would feel like nails being hammered into his skin and heart and mind. “Maybe I shouldn’t—”
His smile disappeared. “No. That’s not for you to think about. Who’s in control, Eve? Say it.”
“You are, sir.”
“Do you get to decide whether or not you release this magic?”
“No, sir.”
“Who gets to decide?”
“You get to decide, sir.”
“What the hell is this?” asked Ben. “Why are you making her talk like that? Who’s Eve?”
Asa didn’t take his eyes off me as he pointed to Ben. “Somebody make him shut the fuck up.”
“She’s my fiancée!”
“She’s mine,” Asa growled, hunched over me like a hungry wolf. I heard Betsy muttering to Ben, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. It hurt too much. The only thing that made sense was Asa. “You’re gonna do thi
s now,” he said to me. And then he kissed me on the lips, soft and gentle, the most wonderful present in all the world.
“More, sir,” I whispered. “Please.”
His smile was a knife. “On the other side, baby. You gotta earn it.”
I wanted to. I needed to. No future and no past, only this moment and the next, the hope that maybe, maybe I could feel his mouth on mine again. It was worth the risk. I parted my lips and let Asa slide a thick leather belt strap between my teeth. His expression was strained as he nodded at me, and like before, I wasn’t sure if he was reassuring me or silently saying good-bye forever. In a daze of agony, I watched him open the locket and take out the knobby lump of gold. He placed it in the palm of Vernon’s hand, and Betsy slid a rubber glove on over it, securing the relic to his skin. Already I could feel the pull of it sending fissures along the thin, weakened walls of the vault inside me. If I didn’t let it out, it was going to burst right through and shatter me.
“Give it up, baby. Don’t wait for it to take control. Open that door and let it out,” Asa said, bracing himself above me with his hands on the metal frame of the cot, making sure he was the only thing I could see. “Give it all to me.”
Yes, sir.
And I let go.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I don’t remember what happened next. I think maybe my mind simply refused to form a memory of what it felt like to allow the most powerful piece of sensing magic in the history of human existence to go tearing out of my badly weakened body. All I remember was surrendering to Asa, and then his hands on my cheeks and his voice in my ear, pulling me back.
It might have been seconds. It might have been several minutes. I’ve never tried to find out.
“Breathe for me, baby.” The flutter of Asa’s lips against my temple made me shiver.
“How’d I do?” My eyelids were too heavy to open, and the rest of me was jelly, completely relaxed but utterly unable to move.
“Fucking incredible,” he said with a laugh, but there was something wrong with his voice. Tight. Filed to a point. “Rest here for a minute, okay? I’ll come back for you.”
“Where are you going?” I tried to open my eyes, but I was too thrashed.
“Gotta take care of something.” There was a faint clinking sound, then the snap of Asa’s toolbox closing.
“Yes, sir,” I whispered. The realization was slowly sinking in—he’d gotten me through. The magic was back in the relic. And I was still alive.
A shout made me jerk with surprise and pull at the ropes securing me to the cot. It was immediately followed by the unmistakable sounds of a fight—grunts and shuffling, the dull smack of fists against flesh. Alarm pierced my little post-transaction cocoon of relief and peace, tightening my muscles and allowing me to open my eyes.
I was alone in the tent. Just beyond the gently fluttering silk flap people were yelling and gathering around. I could see flashes of pant legs and skirts and work boots and sandals. Gracie was barking, deep and ferocious.
“Hey!” I shouted feebly. “Someone?” I squirmed, but my wrists were tied together and fastened to the head of the cot. My ankles were fettered in a similar manner at the foot of the cot, and a long length of rope had been wrapped around my body, making it impossible for me to raise more than my head off the musty canvas. “Hey!”
The tent flap lifted, giving me a glimpse of two struggling figures in the grass. They were surrounded by onlookers, some of whom appeared to be cheering, waving their fists. My view of the scene was almost immediately blocked out by Betsy, though, who came bustling forward, rolling her eyes. “We forgot all about you in here, you poor little thing,” she muttered, kneeling at my side.
“What’s happening?”
Her dark-gray eyes flicked toward the tent flap before returning to me. She began to work the ropes, untying my wrists first. “Did you think he would stand fer that?” She grunted and shook her head. “This is why Vern and I came out here in the first place. Some people’s just happy to use us. Don’t see us as anything but commodities.”
“I’m not following.” I winced and rubbed at my wrists. The ropes hadn’t been tight, but I must have strained against them during the transaction, because my skin was red and raw. The sight snapped me into the now. “How’s Vernon? Is he okay?” This magic had broken so many people, and I didn’t want another on my conscience.
Betsy offered a tremulous smile. “Got some of the boys to carry him to our winter trailer, where he could have a real bed fer the night. He’s gonna be all right. Like I told you, he’s tough as they come. That was some transaction, though.” Her chuckle was warped by the tears that glinted in her eyes. “Had me pretty scared there for a minute or two.”
I stared up at the ceiling of the tent, listening to the sounds of the brawl outside, as Betsy unwound the rope from my body. “Who’s fighting out there?” Misgiving stirred inside my strangely hollow-feeling chest, unsteady and faltering.
Betsy arched one snowy eyebrow. “Maybe you’d like to stay in here and rest like Asa told you.”
“Oh, crap.” I pushed myself up to standing, and Betsy rose with me, catching me as I nearly toppled backward over the cot. With her at my side, I clumsily pushed my way through the tent flap and squinted between the legs of the people standing in front of me. It confirmed my fear. “No!”
The two people directly in front of me, a gangly red-haired kid who looked like he couldn’t be more than seventeen and a middle-aged woman with black hair so long that it nearly reached her knees, turned at the frantic sound of my voice. In the space they created, I caught a full view of the drama playing out in the grass.
Ben was lying on his back, his face a bloody mess. Asa, whose cheek was bruised and whose knuckles were split and bleeding, was straddling him, landing punch after punch. Ben thrashed and tried to block, but Asa was utterly merciless. His face was rigid with rage.
“Stop it,” I shrieked. “Asa! Please!”
Asa froze midpunch and turned his head. His eyes met mine, and whatever he read in my expression made his jaw clench. He shoved himself off Ben and got to his feet, staggering a little in the thick grass. Then Asa spun around before I had the chance to say anything and pushed his way through the ragtag crowd that had gathered to watch the excitement. Gracie trotted after him. They were out of sight in only a few seconds, sinking into the darkness. My heart hammering, I took a few halting steps toward Ben, who had rolled onto his side and was propped up on an elbow, spitting blood onto the ground.
I stared down at him. “Why?”
Betsy appeared at my shoulder. “Told you why already. Asa weren’t going to stand for it. You shouldn’t stand for it, neither.”
“I’m sorry, Mattie,” Ben said thickly.
“Can someone get us some ice or something?” My voice was nearly an octave higher than usual, quavering with horror and the strange unsteadiness inside of me that had replaced the stuffed-to-bursting agony of the Sensilo magic.
The long-haired woman gently shoved the redheaded boy in the shoulder. “Terrence, help the lady. This isn’t her fault, and she’s one of us. Go fetch some ice and clean cloths if we got ’em.”
The boy took off, jogging toward the gathering of trailers across the road from the tents. The rest of the onlookers—to call them an eccentric bunch would be an understatement—were slowly clearing out, tossing me curious looks over their shoulders as they trudged back to their trailers and tents, melting back into the night from which they’d emerged. I shuddered as the wind tossed my hair, and awkwardly sank to my knees next to Ben. “Are you okay?”
“I think he broke my nose,” he said with a groan. Blood was indeed flowing freely from the swollen mess at the center of his face. “What the hell, Mattie? He attacked me out of nowhere. I was just defending myself, I swear.”
Betsy made a skeptical noise in her throat. “And I’m Hillary Clinton. I practically had to hold you back to keep you from busting in on them during the transaction.”
&n
bsp; Ben peered up at me with bloodshot eyes. “He kissed you. You asked him to do it again.”
Heat bloomed across my cheeks. “It was just—”
“Don’t you dare feel like you need to explain yourself, darlin’,” said Betsy sharply, but then her face relaxed into a kindly smile. “Best sniffer-reliquary work I ever witnessed. Once Vern recovers, I’m sure he’ll say the same. That’s how it’s supposed to be but rarely is.”
I had nothing to say to that—I already knew it was true. Whatever Asa and I were, it worked when it came down to business. I offered absolute trust, and in return he offered absolute care.
And now he had disappeared, and his absence was gnawing on my bones. Was he still angry at me, too? Yes, he had put all of that aside when I needed him, but I wasn’t foolish enough to believe that everything was settled.
Not when he’d just pulverized his brother, my fiancé . . . I glanced down at my engagement ring, a reminder of the decision I had to make. The stress twisted like a rusty nail in my chest. I frowned and rubbed at the spot.
“You okay, darlin’?” Betsy asked, leaning so she could look at my face. “You need to rest. That kind of transaction’d take the piss out of anyone.”
Terrence came running over with a bundle of ice wrapped in a dingy gray dish towel, a few more dishrags clutched in his other fist. I accepted both, but when I moved toward Ben, he put his hand out. “I can do it myself.”
“But—”
“Give me some space, for God’s sake.” He snatched a dishrag from my grip and pressed it to his nose, letting out another strangled groan.
I gritted my teeth and tossed the ice pack in his lap. “Take all the space you want.” I pushed myself to my feet and turned to Betsy. “Where did he go?”
“Nearest running water’s a stream ’bout two hundred yards into the trees.” With a faint smile, she aimed her chin at the woods, then leaned into her tent and grabbed a flashlight, which she tucked into my hand. “Might’ve wanted to clean himself up.”
Or maybe he needed to get as far from the Sensilo relic and the magic of this camp as possible. I set out marching on wobbly legs across the field. My anger toward Ben temporarily tamped down my anxiety about what I was walking toward. Was Ben mad at me, after he had created this situation? I had only done what I had to in order to survive. Yes, I had brought Asa back into our lives, but would Ben have preferred that I die in agony while he watched helplessly? That had been pretty darn close to happening, actually, and still he seemed more miffed about Asa’s and my behavior during the transaction.