by Aimée Thurlo
Jake nodded as he brushed off his pants, then picked up his sweater and shirt.
“I better get going,” Rick said. “I’ve got to fix some fencing. Be seeing you.”
After Rick left, Annie watched Jake for a moment. He stood by the barn doors, back erect, muscles tight, like a man bracing for a fight.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
He nodded. “I know from my father’s accounting ledgers that he spent two thousand dollars for hay less than a month ago. But there’s less than five hundred dollars’ worth in this barn.”
She exhaled softly. “And as much as you hate to even think it, you’re wondering if Martin has been pulling some kind of scam,” she said, finishing his thought. “Let me set your mind at ease on that score. Martin would never have cheated your father. If you have a question, why don’t you just ask him about it?”
“That’s not always the best way.” He held her gaze, then dropped it to her swollen belly. “Questions aren’t always answered.”
“It depends on how they’re asked. When a person is innocent, it can really hurt to have someone close doubt them or ask for an explanation. Go gently with him,” she advised as they reached the truck and got in.
He wondered what made her such a sensitive soul. “Annie, will you ever trust me enough to tell me about yourself? Surely by now, you know I’m your friend.”
“We can be allies, Jake,” she said, “but never friends. The attraction between us makes that impossible. My life is too complicated right now—my baby, my work, and finding Paul’s killer. I can’t afford to think about anything else because I need to stay focused on those priorities.” Even as she spoke, her heart ached with yearnings she couldn’t deny.
“Then tell me how to forget,” he said, his voice a husky murmur. “I don’t want to remember what it felt like to hold you in my arms, or how you tasted when I kissed you.”
His words flowed over her like molten wax, burning a path to her soul. She tried to answer him, but no words could slip past the lump at her throat.
He sat still, not bothering to switch on the ignition. “I don’t know what’s happening between us, Annie, and I sure as hell don’t understand it. But what I do know is that my feelings for you are more than just simple attraction. I’ve known many women in my life, but any thoughts of them never followed me every waking minute, or made me think of tomorrow and all the days after that.”
As their eyes met, a shiver ran up her spine. She looked away quickly. “I don’t know what’s happening, either, Jake, but I know that I can’t give in to it. I don’t want any more heartbreak in my life. I’ve had enough to last a lifetime.”
Before he could stop her, she left the truck and started walking down the road to the bunkhouse.
Muttering a curse, Jake went after her, but she refused to let him even walk with her.
Jake let her go, feeling helpless and hating every second of it. She ambled slowly, the baby’s weight keeping her slightly off balance. He wanted to go to her, to take care of her and keep her safe, but it was the last thing she wanted from him.
He watched her, making sure she was okay until she entered the bunkhouse. Finally he drove to the main house. He understood her pride and her need to stand on her own. He admired her for it. He only wished she hadn’t made it into an obstacle between them. It didn’t have to be that way, though he couldn’t seem to convince her of that.
“Did you two have a fight?” Martin asked as Jake walked through the front door. “I saw her walk off by herself.”
“Not a fight—not really.”
“Having a child is a huge responsibility. For a single woman like her, it’s even more so.”
“I want to help her, but she flatly refuses to allow it. She thinks it’s charity.”
“Is it?”
“No, it’s not,” Jake snapped.
“Then why do you want to help her? Your motives would be important to a woman like Annie.”
Martin, as usual, had managed to cut right through to the heart of the matter.
Jake said nothing, sorting his thoughts. “I like her,” he said at last.
“You probably like a lot of people, but you don’t go out of your way for each one of them. What’s so special about Annie?”
Jake muttered a curse under his breath. “I know next to nothing about that woman, but I’m still crazy about her. Maybe I’m just losing it. You think?”
Martin smiled slowly. “They say recognizing that you have a problem is a good sign.” With a chuckle, he turned and left Jake alone.
Jake paced, seething.
Hearing a knock at the door, he glanced up to see Rick standing there.
“Boss, I need to talk to you.”
“Come in.”
“I was wondering if there’s any extra work I could do for you. There are already enough men watching the bunkhouse, but I still need to earn a little extra for Christmas.”
Jake contemplated Rick’s request, wondering if he could find a way to help Annie without making her feel she owed him.
“There is something,” Jake said slowly. “But it has to remain completely confidential.”
“Understood.”
“I want to know more about Annie’s background—where she went to school, who her parents are—things like that. Think you can find out for me?”
“Sure. I can ask a few people I trust. What is it that you’re after? It would help to know.”
“I want to find a way to help her without putting her on the defensive or hurting her pride. To do that, I’m going to need to know a lot more about her.”
“I’ll get started right away.”
“Give it top priority. Tell the other wranglers to cover for you with the animals and the ranch. If Martin asks you about it, tell him you’re doing a special job for me.”
Chapter Eight
As the hours passed, one accounting problem continued to defy Jake’s best efforts to explain away. He was a good businessman and he knew as much about accounting as the people he hired to maintain his books. But there seemed to be no way to reconcile his father’s large cash withdrawals. For the past six months, he’d made withdrawals totaling more than thirty thousand dollars.
His head pounding, Jake leaned back in his chair and picked up the framed sketch that had been broken in the scuffle with his uncle Thomas. His mother had drawn the horse as a gift to her husband. It captured the personality of the fearless stallion his father had prized. His father had proudly shown the sketch to every visitor and his mother had never failed to blush at his praise. It was one of the good memories he had of his life here, yet he’d almost forgotten it, burying it under memories of the hard times that had come years later.
Glancing at the box of unanswered correspondence, he decided to work on his father’s mail next. Some of the letters had yet to be opened.
As he went through the stack, one envelope near the top caught his attention. It had been neatly typed, and had a Santa Fe postmark, but there was no return address. Curious, he tore it open.
Inside, there was one sheet of paper—a photocopied page from what appeared to be a diary. The date at the top was twenty years old. If his memory could be trusted, it looked like his mother’s handwriting.
Though the idea of invading his mother’s privacy repulsed him, he forced himself to read it.
I’m trapped in a prison of my own making. I can’t leave my boys, and I know Paul will never allow me to take them with me. He wants me here, a caged bird too wounded to fly. A horrible silence lies between us every time we’re together. It’s like an icy hand over my heart. But even this would be bearable if I thought there was some hope of us ever being a real family again. The truth is I still love Paul, and I know he still loves me.
The rest of the page was blank except for a typewritten note.
Your payment was late, so the price for my silence has now gone up. Double the original amount, and consider it a bargain—unless you’re willing to tak
e the chance that your sons will forgive you for what you put their mother through.
Jake stared at the blackmail note, feeling sick. His father had been wrong if he’d thought that the diary could turn his sons against him. He’d done that himself years ago. No revelation about his marriage, which had required the consent of two adults, could have hurt them as much as being turned out of their home by their own father.
His parents might have had a troubled marriage, but despite their private battles, they’d always presented a united front to the outside world. His parents had instilled in him a code of honor that made him the man he was today. It was his duty to get the diary back from the traitor who’d used it as a weapon and a source of profit.
Obviously someone else beside his uncle Thomas had been interested in the diary, and he’d succeeded where Thomas had failed. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what was in that diary and why his uncle Thomas was so determined to get it. He had a feeling there was more to it than he’d let on.
The wind rose outside, and dried leaves and sand rattled against the glass. The voices of the dead would never be still until blood avenged blood. Destiny had brought Jake back to Black Raven Ranch. Whatever the cost, there would be no turning back now.
HEARING SOMEONE KNOCK, Annie set down her cutting knife and wiped her hands. It was nearly noon and she’d been working intensely on her newest piece for hours, lost in her craft. Her concentration broken, she sighed and went to answer the door.
Annie smiled at Elsie and invited her inside. “We didn’t have a scheduled appointment, did we?” she asked, hoping she hadn’t forgotten. With everything that had happened, it would have scarcely been a surprise.
Elsie shook her head. “No, we didn’t. I was in the area, and since you’re within a few weeks of your due date, I thought I’d stop by and do a routine check on you.”
After Elsie’s exam and her assurance that everything was proceeding well, Annie poured them each a cup of herbal tea. “I’m glad you came by but what’s going on? You generally don’t pass through this neighborhood.”
Elsie took a deep breath then let it out slowly. “Annie, I know how you hate gossip, but there’s something you really should know. I was over at Lucinda Crow’s house when Martin’s nephew, Rick, stopped by. I heard him talking to Lucinda’s husband. As you know they’re in their nineties and have lived on the pueblo all of their lives. If I wanted information, I’d go to them, and that was exactly what Rick was doing. But he was asking questions about you and your days at the foster home. Although it wasn’t on pueblo land, it was closer to here than Santa Fe.”
Stunned, all Annie could do was stare. “I remember the Crows. They used to visit all the kids and tell us stories about the Tewas. But I don’t get this,” she said. “Why would anyone—least of all Rick—want to know about my life at the home?” The answer hit her before Elsie could reply. “Jake,” Annie said flatly. “This has to be his doing.”
Elsie nodded. “I think so, too. From what I’ve seen, he cares about you, Annie. He may want to know more about you and, face it, you really don’t open up to anyone.”
“That doesn’t give him the right to invade my privacy. I think it’s time he and I had a little talk,” she said flatly.
“Now you’re furious.” Elsie sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.”
“I’m glad you did. And don’t worry, I’ll keep your name out of this. But it’s time Jake Black Raven understood that he can’t have anything and everything he wants.”
After Elsie left, Annie walked to the main house. She was hoping the brisk air and physical exercise would help to calm her down, but so far, it hadn’t helped. By the time she reached the main house, she was eager for a confrontation.
Annie knocked and simultaneously turned the knob to enter but this time the front door was locked. The discovery made her realize just how many changes Paul’s murder had brought about in the peaceful pueblo community.
Martin answered the door and stepped aside, inviting her in. “Start bringing your key,” he advised. “We have to keep the door locked for Jake’s protection.”
She nodded. “Yes, I suppose extra security is a necessity for all of us now. Where’s Jake?”
“In the study, going over his father’s papers.”
“He and I are going to have a little chat. Don’t worry if you hear loud voices.”
Martin smiled. “What’s he done?”
“You don’t want to know. First let me yell at him, then I may be able to discuss it rationally with someone else.” She strode into the study without knocking, then closed the door behind her as Jake looked up in surprise.
“What is it with you, Jake? Do you think that I have no right to my own privacy just because I live on your property?” She saw in his eyes that he knew precisely what she was talking about. “You sent Rick on a fishing expedition without any regard for my feelings or rights. You may be the owner of the building I live in, but you don’t own me.”
“Let me explain—” Jake stood, and began to cross the room.
“There’s nothing to explain. And don’t bother to deny that Rick was acting on your orders.”
“I’m not, but it’s not what you think. All I wanted was—”
“To get information I didn’t want to give you myself.”
“Well, yes, but there’s more—”
“More? What else have you done? And how dare you take this upon yourself?”
She wasn’t going to give him a chance to get a word in edgewise, unless he first got her attention. Jake suddenly gathered her against him, his fingers tangling in her hair and forcing her head back as he took her mouth with his own. His tongue filled her mouth, taking and giving her pleasure until she melted against him. When the fire inside him grew too hot to contain, he reluctantly eased his hold.
Annie’s lips throbbed and her heart was drumming frantically. As she looked up at him, the wildness in Jake’s eyes made a shiver course up her spine. She wanted to demand an explanation for his actions, but she couldn’t speak. The urge to step back into his arms was almost overpowering.
“I see I finally have your attention,” he said, his deep voice vibrating with needs too powerful to hide.
“There are easier ways to get my attention. Though, I admit, this was effective,” she managed to unsteadily concede. Her lips were swollen and, as she ran the tip of her tongue over them, she could still taste him. She fought the almost desperate impulse to renew their kiss and let whatever happened, happen.
“You’re a proud woman, Annie. You don’t want anyone’s help, and I can understand that. But I care about you. All I was trying to do was find a way I could help you, if only from the sidelines.”
“I’ve always paid my own way, with money or with hard work. You don’t have the right...”
“When you care about someone, your heart overrules your head and sometimes you end up doing things you know you shouldn’t do. I’m sorry Annie.”
His apology touched her deeply. In all fairness, she’d asked questions about him, too. “We all do things we shouldn’t sometimes,” she admittedly slowly.
He gave her a curious look then smiled slowly. “So you’ve asked questions about me, too?” he asked, reading her mind.
“A few,” she answered cautiously, avoiding his gaze.
He laughed, obviously pleased with his discovery. “I bet that was hard to admit,” he said, brushing his knuckles against her cheek in a feather-light caress.
His touch sent an intoxicating heat spiraling through her. Her breath caught in her throat. Aware of the danger, she forced herself to move away from him and sat alone on the couch.
“There’s only one way to handle this attraction between us,” she said, her voice unsteady. “Except for the times when we’re actively working to find your father’s killer, we have to stay away from each other. We both know that a relationship between us can’t work. I have my baby and my work to think of. To me, family and commitment ar
e what give life meaning. But for you, it’s different. You preferred to stay away from those things when you were growing up.”
“You might be right,” he admitted. “But I do care about you, Annie.”
“Then help me do what needs to be done.”
Annie saw the pain flash in his eyes and her chest tightened. She was right and, deep down, he knew it. The last thing Jake wanted was an instant family. To him, all “family” had ever meant was heartbreak.
Jake sat at his father’s desk, then took out the photocopied letter he’d opened and encased in a plastic bag. He slid the note across the desk to her. “Someone was blackmailing my father,” he said, then added, “I have to turn it over to the police, so leave it inside the bag.”
As she stood in front of the desk and read the excerpt from Saya’s diary, tears brimmed in her eyes. Paul and Saya had been trapped by pride and circumstances. She couldn’t even imagine their pain—two people living together and loving each other from a distance, knowing that what separated them would never be bridged. The similarities between the past and her present relationship with Jake struck her hard.
“They suffered so much, Jake, but they were both victimes.”
“And then someone decided to use my mother’s innermost thoughts to make a profit.” His face hardened. “I don’t understand why my father ever paid this scumball a dime.”
“I can answer that,” she said slowly. “Your father wanted to seal the rift between himself and you and Nick. That was at the heart of all his dreams for the future. He really hoped that you and Nick would return for good someday and run this ranch. He was afraid the diary had the potential of destroying what mattered most to him.”