“Pack your bags. The tour is on,” Nico announced, breaking my contemplation.
“What?” John’s mouth dropped.
“Toxic Fox Records is going forward with a three-week tour on the West Coast!”
“Holy shit,” I said. Our record company was sending us out west?
Nico beamed. “Sometime this spring.”
We’d dreamed of this moment, so we toasted and chattered on about what this meant. What it meant for the Velvet Cocks. Our record company believed in us to put up this investment. We’d had short tours on the East Coast, but nothing like this.
A tour like this was something I’d dreamed about since I was a teenage boy picking up a guitar to emulate my rock idols. But, something was missing. I wanted to share this news with someone.
With one woman in particular.
We finished our beers, and I moved my gaze to the dancers.
The DJ Mistress Mona announced, “How are all my freaks tonight?” When the crowd cheered in reply, she said, “You’re all beautiful. This is for you.”
The opening sounds of Marilyn Manson’s The Beautiful People boomed from the speakers and bodies erupted into a conflagration of movement. A blonde broke through a sea of blackness. My heart stuttered and then throbbed with expectation.
Could it be her? No, it had to be wishful thinking.
I leaned forward, but with her back facing me, I couldn’t be sure. The dancers blocked a full view of her again. I could only catch glimpses of her in a short skirt and black tank top.
Another woman joined her. Lily. Yes, that meant it was definitely Allana.
I strained to catch more of her through the crowd, of her body bouncing and swaying with the music. She turned partly my way, sporting a wide grin. Strange tingles heated my body. She appeared happy.
When the song ended, she and Lily maneuvered through the crowd to the bar. My pulse fired like the opening of Hot for Teacher. My palms turned clammy. What would I say?
I elbowed Nico. “Did you know about this?
He had a hangdog expression but didn’t reply. “Lily, Ally,” Nico greeted them. “Fancy seeing you lovely ladies here. What a surprise.”
Allana’s eyes caught mine and I froze. The spark in our locked gaze catapulted me into awareness. Whatever was between us was real. A lasting connection. She was the one and I’d do anything to protect her. To love her.
“What luck,” Lily added with a smirk. “I didn’t know you were coming here tonight.”
Snapping back to face Nico and then Lily, I said, “Oh come on, I’ve seen better acting in porn.”
Allana giggled, a musical sound that made my heart flutter.
“If you’re trying to get us together, you need to work on the false surprise lilt,” I added.
“Ah well, you caught us.” Nico patted my back. “You might as well have a chat while I take my lovely woman out for a dance.” He turned to Lily. “Shall we?”
“Of course.”
Lily gave Allana a sheepish grin to which Allana responded by widening her blue eyes. We watched Nico and Lily depart for the dance floor, awkwardness blooming between us like two middle schoolers being nudged together at the school dance by giggling friends. We hadn’t exactly parted ways on a civil note.
“I’m out of here,” John said. “Congrats, man.”
He patted my shoulder and left.
“Congrats about what?” Allana asked.
“Our record company is going to send us on a West Coast tour.”
Her face dropped, which stimulated hope that she might be disappointed to see me go. “That’s fantastic,” she said, covering it up with a bright smile. “For how long?”
“A few weeks, I think, but I don’t have the details yet. Sometime this spring.” If we were going to talk, it would be easier to hear each other at the back of the club instead of shouting over the music. “Want to grab a table?”
She nodded. I purchased a couple more drinks while she grabbed a table. The music still echoed back here, Clan of Xymox’s The Stranger, but at least we could have a conversation without yelling.
Once we sat across from each other, she asked, “Do you think Nico and Lily concocted some lame-ass plan to get us together?”
I chuckled in agreement. “Definitely. Nico got me and John down here to tell us about the tour, but he could have just as well done that at work, practice, or over the phone.”
She peered at me from under her dark lashes. “Why do you think they want us to run into each other?”
“To talk, I guess.” I shrugged. “You know how couples are—when they’re happy and in love, they want everyone to be happy and in love. When they get married, they want all their friends to get married. When they’re having a baby—”
“Ah, yes. I see.” Her scent washed over me with its hint of coconut. She smelled so good. Much better than the others scents in the club. She always smelled so tantalizing I wanted to bury my face in her hair, taste the sweat off her skin, lick her all over… My cock stiffened and I forced myself to brush those thoughts aside. “How have you been?”
“Great. Today was the official opening of the studio. Lily brought me here to celebrate.”
“Congratulations.” I lifted my glass.
“Looks like we both have big changes coming up in our lives.”
“Part of growing up, I guess.”
Neither of us spoke for several seconds. I took a sip of my drink to do something with my hands.
Her bottom lip trembled. “I-I, uh, wanted to call you.”
“You did? Why?” My expectations jetted to the rafters.
“I wanted to invite you to the opening. You did so much to help me. It seemed only right to have you there.”
My hopes crashed to the sticky, beer-covered floor. She only felt an obligation, nothing more. “You already thanked me.” I raised my chin. “We’re good.”
Her eyes searched mine and I tried to read the message. They were filled with warmth and tenderness, maybe a little hunger and regret. Or I was reflecting my own emotions onto her. I was always better at understanding numbers than people.
For several seconds, the silence loomed heavier between us, palpable and simmering with sensual tension.
“I’m sorry I ran out on you like that,” she said.
“No, I freaked out on you. I would have taken off, too. I’m the one who’s sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
She paused. “You were right about me.”
I weighed her statement, searching for the context and found nothing. “About what in particular?”
“About everything,” she said. Glancing at me from the corner of her eye, she spoke in a small voice. “Maybe I did use you in a way.”
Shit. My lungs slammed into my ribs, making it difficult to breathe. Even though I’d accused her of it, hearing her admit it was like ripping out my organs.
“Not many people know this, but I was engaged a long time ago.”
Wait, what? Where was she going with this? “Engaged?” My eyes widened. If she told me she was married, I’d slam my stupid head on the table.
“Not anymore. He died.”
I shifted in the chair. What an idiot I was. I did not see that coming. “Holy shit, Allana. I’m so sorry. I pushed and pushed and—I had no idea.”
“It’s complicated,” she said, leaning back in the chair. “I grew up in Portsmouth and we were high school sweethearts. He was in a garage band. We were eighteen and in love and we got engaged the summer after graduation.” She picked up a coaster off the table and flipped it absently. “Then one night, he was out drinking with his buddies and got into a car and ran off the road. He died. I was heartbroken.”
“Allana.” What could I say? “I’m—I’m so sorry.”
She raised both hands, palms forward. “What happened afterwards, it hurt even worse. At his funeral, I discovered I wasn’t the only one who was heartbroken. He’d been cheating on me the whole time we’d been together. Not just
one-night stands, but a couple of long-lasting relationships, too.”
What a fucking prick. Rage twisted inside me, clawing for retribution. My hands shook and I curled them into balls under the table. He was lucky he was dead, because I would have destroyed him for hurting Allana.
I took a deep breath to calm the fury. “I don’t know what to say. You must have been devastated.”
“On top of grief, I felt betrayed. And utterly stupid.” She fixed her eyes on her drink.
The pain in her eyes hinted she was descending a path of haunted memories.
“There were signs all along,” she said. “If I’d looked closer I would have seen it. But, I’d brushed it away, blind in my happiness, even though I knew something wasn’t right with us.” She wrung her hands and glanced around the room. “I can’t explain how conflicted I felt. I was a young, grieving almost-widow, and I was crushed by his death. At the same time, if I had him back, I would have killed him for all the lies and betrayal.”
I didn’t blame her.
She finally fixed her gaze on me. “To say it made me wary of trusting a man again would be an understatement.”
An urge to reach out and hold her swept through me. I wanted to plant a thousand kisses on her to help brush away her pain. Not knowing how to act or how she’d react, I simply took her hand and squeezed it.
Since I had a way of saying the worst things at the wrong moments, I rehearsed what to say before I said it aloud. “What you went through would be difficult for anyone, let alone someone so young.” She didn’t pull away, so I figured I didn’t stick my foot in my mouth.
“I moved here to start over,” Allana continued, staring off into the distance. “When I discovered yoga, it changed my life. It helped me learn how to mend. I began to feel like a person again rather than the scorned, bitter, grief-stricken shell of what I once was. Eventually I went to school.” She nodded my way. “Just a community college, nothing fancy like MIT. I started teaching classes at the gym. I swore off relationships. The way I saw it was the only thing I wanted from a guy was to scratch the occasional lusty itch. Why not use them for sex, so that way nobody has false expectations, and nobody gets hurt, right?”
That’s how I’d rolled in the past. “Sure.”
She paused and her eyes took on a hopeful glint. “Then I met you.” Her eyes searched mine. “What girl doesn’t want to have a fun night, no strings attached, with a hot rock star she’d had a crush on?”
Based on all the women who didn’t pursue me until I played guitar for the Velvet Cocks, I was well aware of that concept, but I kept my mouth shut so she’d continue.
“After we started spending time together, more feelings grew. Deeper ones. And they scared the shit out of me. Would I be stupid to repeat the same mistake twice?” She pulled her hand away and threw it up for emphasis. “I mean you’re known for womanizing; you didn’t even remember my name. The signs were a huge, glaring warning.” Her voice rose a notch.
Her words affected me with a strange pang twisting my gut. I hated being the big bad boy warning when it came to her.
“But, you were also so considerate.” Her voice softened. “The contrast baffled me. My feelings confused me even more. I couldn’t control them, and I couldn’t turn them off. When you suggested giving us a try, the fantasy became an actual possibility. Something I wanted, yet it terrified me. Even more than opening the studio.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “For everything that happened to you. For not understanding. For pushing you.” I fixed my gaze on her to emphasize my sincerity; they weren’t empty words.
Something odd happened—the air between us shimmered. I wasn’t sure the vibrancy was even real.
“You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you,” she replied. “Of course you’d think I was just playing games.” She took my hand again.
A surge of energy passed between us. From our hands touching, from our eyes, from the space between us. A powerful connection, maybe magical. I wondered if she caught it, too.
Her eyes widened and she fixed her stare at me. Her mouth fell open. She had to feel that sizzle between us.
She studied her hand as if it were something foreign and then pulled it away. “I have to go.”
After she stood, my gaze fixed on her as she walked away.
“Hey, Chee,” a woman with dark-red hair stood before me. “How have you been?”
Distracted by Allana, it took me a moment to respond. She looked familiar. We might have hooked up one night.
“Not bad,” I replied. My interest in any woman besides Allana was zilch, but I couldn’t be a downright ass. “Yourself?”
“Fine.” She pulled my arm. “Dance with me.”
I glanced into the mass of people where Allana had disappeared and then I found her. Her mouth dropped open. She glared at me.
It had to be right when that woman was pawing at me. Great.
“Not right now.” I wrestled out of her grasp.
I had to find Allana.
Chapter 16
Ally
Seconds after I walked away, a woman approached Mike and hung all over him. He didn’t appear to mind one bit.
It hit me like a slap. But, I shouldn’t have expected anything different from him.
I strode to the bar and squeezed into an empty space between two people. “Can I get a shot of whiskey?” I asked the bartender.
I downed it as soon as she set it down, letting the bite roll over my tongue and burn my throat.
The night had taken a twisted turn. Running into Mike here was unexpected. Confiding in him about my past hadn’t been planned. Something strange had happened between us, a sensation unlike anything I’d ever experienced. The connection between us was so vibrant, almost alive. Combined with my big emotional revelation, it was all too much—I had to get away.
And a different woman stepped into my place before I’d even left the club. Nice.
“I’m glad to see you here tonight,” a low female voice from behind me said. “I’ve been looking forward to running into you again.”
When I turned, I faced Nike, the woman from backstage. A night that seemed so long ago. My instincts flared with wariness.
Watch out for her. She bit you last time. Drew blood. She’s dangerous.
But, when I glanced into her turquoise eyes, a soporific effect took over. My defenses weakened, and a calmness settled into me, not unlike what I had after meditation.
She put her hand on my lower back and leaned in, whispering into my ear. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Okay.” My voice sounded strange—monotonous. “Let me get my coat.”
After I retrieved it, she led me by the hand to the back door. Although the cool night air bit at my exposed skin on the way here, it now felt balmy after dancing inside the warm club. We walked away from the warehouses, closed at this time of night, which cloaked the club in seclusion.
“I’ve been looking for you.” She smiled.
“You have?” I asked. “Why?”
She turned and pressed me against the brick wall of one of the buildings and buried her face in my neck. Kissing it. It felt good—but at the same time something was off.
She jerked her head back. “Someone’s coming.”
I strained, but didn’t hear anything besides the sounds of traffic in the distance. “Where?”
“Shh,” she said. “Let’s keep going.”
As we passed an old graveyard, a voice in the back of my head warned me to be careful. But, why? I couldn’t remember.
An image of Mike’s face formed in my mind. A pang of despair followed.
Why wasn’t I with him? Something just happened between us. What? Everything was cloudy in my head. I struggled to pierce through the fog. Earlier, I was upset. I’d rushed from him. Why?
He was with that woman. Oh yes, that was why.
Why think of him? I shoved that unpleasant memory away, instead focusing on the surrounding scenery. The reflection of the
moon shimmered on the water ahead. The furiousness in the sound of the waves crashing against the shore indicated the winds must be building, as if on the verge of a storm. It was odd that I didn’t feel the sting of the wind.
“This is better,” Nike said, scanning the beach. “Nobody’s here to disturb us.” She flashed a grin.
I glimpsed white fangs gleaming in the moonlight.
She bit me. I should run.
My feet remained planted. “What do you want?”
She ran her fingers through my hair, pushing it from my face. “You.”
She stared into my eyes, trapping me. Wariness drifted out of me like a kettle removed from a hot stove. She led me onto the sand, spreading out my winter coat beneath me. She ran her hands over the side of my body, lighting a fiery path in their wake.
Through the mind fog, I pictured Mike again. It should be him touching me.
Forget him. He’s with someone else.
His image turned blurry, like I’d suddenly needed glasses.
Sharp points pierced my neck.
“Mike!” I cried.
I struggled to get up, but she was stronger than she appeared. She pinned me down and fastened her mouth onto my neck.
I need you, Mike. Please.
It was ridiculous to reach out to him since he couldn’t hear me.
Pleasurable sensations ushered the sharp pain away. I stopped resisting.
Mike
After I shuffled out of the woman’s advances, I joined Nico and Lily at the bar. “Where did Allana go?”
“We haven’t seen her.” Lily said.
I searched the club for a glimpse of her blonde hair. Glancing up at the gargoyle statues was in vain, but I silently asked Where is she?
The only response was their usual stony silence. Some help they were.
An image of Allana flashed in my mind. Her face was etched with pain. I ran to the exit.
Outside the club, I questioned what the hell I was doing. Why did that picture take shape?
Did she need me?
I ran from Vamps, seeking insight as to where to find her. The only signs of life were the smokers huddling out front, clad in their tiny outfits.
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