I caught Billie’s gaze and understanding clearly showed in them. Understanding and something else. “She was uncomfortable with you.” I didn’t acknowledge that, but she was getting a pretty good picture. Too good. Feeling like I should say something, my tongue instead worked itself into a dry husk with no voice. “When you started finishing her sentences and telling her what she was thinking, anticipating what she wanted, she couldn’t handle it.”
I nodded, wondering if Billie would stand up and leave right then, but part of me knew she wouldn’t. Part of me thought she should. She’d known for a while that I could do this: pull a thought or read a vibe. Strangely enough, she liked it. I took a sip of my beer to give my hands something to do so they didn’t shake.
She liked it now, but would she later? When the creepiness factor kicked in. When I knew of the birth or death of someone she loved. When I shared her own memory with her, not realizing she’d never spoken of it. I’d done more than make Annie uncomfortable, I’d scared her.
“That won’t happen with me.” She spoke softly and sounded so certain. How could she understand the intricacies of a relationship with someone like me?
“Won’t it?” Starting to get cynical, I challenged her. “When I pass you the salt before you ask, you’re not going to think I’m a freak? And if I call you moments after you find out your father’s dead, you won’t fear me? What about when I answer you before I realize you didn’t say it aloud?” I didn’t want to lose her, but if we were having this conversation, I wouldn’t pull the punches. I wasn’t ready to tell her everything, but if she already knew the basics I refused to sugarcoat it.
Part of me wanted to end it right there. To lose her after one day would hurt so much I didn’t want to think about it, but to lose her later … I didn’t know if I could bear it. If she was going to walk away, I was going to give her the opportunity.
“You already anticipate what I want and need. I love it, and not just the sex part. And when my father dies, a phone call from you will be exactly what I need. What you do is not normal, but it is special. You don’t have to hide it from me.” Her sincerity was genuine, but I simply didn’t believe she understood the situation.
“You mean it – I see that – but putting it into practice every day is different. Once I get close to someone, I start losing control of it. And I already can’t control it with you. It’s not a light switch that I can turn on and off. It sort of is, but when I drop my guard it comes on randomly when I don’t ask it. Sometimes I can’t even tell what’s spoken and what’s not.” My frustration at this was evident, and she took my hand.
“Don’t push me away because you don’t know if you can trust me.”
I shook my head, deciding at that moment that I wouldn’t. I’d asked her to trust me, and I wanted to trust her. “I’m not going to, but I am afraid. You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. You don’t know what I am.”
Her words drifted to a new topic, but it was the same conversation in her mind. “When you meet my family, you’re going to feel undercurrents that you don’t understand. Secrets and whispers and things hidden. It’s not bad, and you’ll feel that, but I need to warn you. We’re very tight, and very private. I’ll keep things from you, not because I want to but because I made a promise. I’ll never lie to you, but I won’t be able to tell you everything. And please don’t go digging.”
“I try not to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. At least when it comes to my abilities. I can’t promise I won’t pick up on something accidentally, but I promise I won’t dig. ”
“Are you okay with the secrets?” Her question was important, both to her and to us. Her fear about that rivaled my own about my abilities.
I thought about it a moment, needing to know that my words were not false. “What you said was true, at least in your mind. It’s not bad, just private. So long as that stays true I’ll respect it. How can I not respect your privacy? I keep parts of myself private, too.” She nodded her thanks. “Are you going to tell them about me?”
She grinned. “Oh, they’ll know. And it’ll be fun seeing their faces.”
“How will they know? Are they psychics?”
She scrunched her nose in distaste. “We don’t like the term psychic, it’s been ruined by all the frauds out there. We call people like you Sensitives, and no they are not Sensitives exactly, but they recognize one when they meet her.” Great. A room full of people who know I can read their minds.
“They won’t care?” I had a hard time accepting that. I’d have to experience it to believe it.
Her certainty on this was clear. “No.”
The idea of a group of people, people I might consider “family” someday, who were comfortable with someone like me around intrigued me. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but if what Billie said was true I thought my loneliness might soon dissipate.
We finished our meal, enjoyed some public display of affection just to annoy the proprietor, and stood to go. Leaving two twenties on the table, Billie gave her credit card to the proprietor. Scowling at her, he said nothing while running it. Ready to leave, she had to have the last word. Her grin wide and sweet, she said, “The food was delicious. See you next time.”
Not waiting for a reply, she slipped an arm around my waist and we walked out, leaving him stewing in a rage behind us. Out of sight and sound, she burst into laughter, and I found myself joining her. “That was fun.”
I had to agree. “It was, once I figured out the game. At first I was really uncomfortable, but I’m glad we did it that way.”
“I’m sorry. I knew you wanted to get out of there, but I really wanted to come out on top with him. Forgive me?”
That was too easy. “Are you offering penance? I could think of a few things you could do to make up for it.” Running my fingers down her neck, I kissed her. I couldn’t wait to get her home.
“That’s not penance, that’s a reward. Careful how you punish me for stunts like this, or I’ll do them more often.” Desire and amusement rose within her, and I wasn’t the only one ready to get to my place.
“I can’t imagine anything that you could do that would require my forgiveness.” The words, meant as a compliment, struck her in an unusual way. Guilt surfaced, and a tense look crossed her face. She was afraid that whatever she was hiding from me, whatever secrets her family held, would create a need for forgiveness. “Billie, you said it’s not bad, so why would I have to forgive you for it? I wasn’t poking around, it came to the surface of your thoughts.”
Pulling me into a hug which was somehow more intimate than our kiss, she whispered into my ear. “I won’t lie to you. But I’m going to be more honest than I probably should. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t roses and cotton candy either. I have my dark side, and I don’t want to hurt you because of it. Sadie …” She reached out to me, begging forgiveness in advance.
I didn’t know what this incredible woman had to hide that was so terrible, but I knew her heart was true. Most people only believe that about their partners, but I knew. “I’ll try to understand.” Knowing I meant my promise, she released me and we climbed into the jeep.
Grey light fell as we pulled onto my street. My previously empty house felt inviting again as I imagined sharing it, even part of the time, with Billie. Fantasies of waking up next to her warmed me in a way that I hadn’t felt in a very long time. And never this intensely.
“Okay if I come in?” She teased me.
“You better.” I let her trail me to my door, not glancing back and knowing she followed. Her intensity overwhelmed me as she watched my form in front of her. It enveloped me, consumed my whole being, this desire that was both mental and sexual. To her I was a drug, and she was hooked after only twenty-four hours.
For me it was more earthen. I felt like I’d found something I never knew I’d missed, and she filled that void. We weren’t two halves of a whole, like some people say, but rather together we were more than either one of us apart. We complime
nted each other.
Kissing the back of my neck as I tried to work the lock, I had a little trouble. My words came husky from my throat, but I didn’t turn. “If you’d like to make love on the front porch, keep going. But my neighbor is a voyeur. If you want to actually get in the house …well, this distraction is not helping.”
Silently she took my keys from my hands and unlocked the door, reaching around my body but not even pausing in her adoration of my neck. “I’d rather not give a performance, but I’m not sure I can quit.”
Once in the house with the door closed, I turned to face her, and she took my head in both hands, my gaze raised a bit to meet hers. “I could use a shower.”
That sounded like a great venue to me, too. And it guaranteed a lack of clothes, though I doubted they’d stay on much longer either way. She grabbed a bag that I didn’t know she’d brought in and followed me down the hall.
I started the shower while she added her toiletries to mine, which excited me more than even her presence. It was a not-so-subtle reminder that she was here to stay. Somehow she knew that I liked it and she didn’t need to ask permission – I still didn’t know how she could possibly read me so well if she wasn’t a Sensitive.
“Sensitive.” I hadn’t had much time to think about the term, but I decided I liked it. Always reluctant to be grouped with psychics, I turned the new word over in my mind. It was descriptive, even if it was incomplete. Certainly sensitive to those around me, I nevertheless could do so much more. But I’d admitted to very little of that fact, and I was determined to keep it that way. Besides, it’s not like I was using the rest of my abilities.
What I’d said about the waitress, that I wished I could see more, was true. Even though I could have found out more about her situation, I couldn’t let myself actually do it. I’d learned my lesson on that one, and I didn’t dare cross that line again. It was one of those situations when “couldn’t” and “wouldn’t” were the same thing.
Feeling her lips on my neck again, I decided I liked her at my back. Undressing me gently, all the way down to my boots, I could feel my body respond, ready and eager.
I wanted to touch her, but she wanted me where I was, and I let her call the shots, even without saying the words. Especially without the words. “You have a mole on your shoulder.” She kissed it and ran her tongue over it.
“I have several.”
“I know. I think I’ve found them all now.” Her arms reached around and her hands caressed my belly. Tilting my head back onto her shoulder, I allowed her to just touch me with nothing in return. Yet. “How much hot water do you have?”
“Not enough.”
Stripping out of her clothes in an instant, we stepped into the aging tub. Still she wanted my back, and her thoughts told me why. She wanted to explore my body without being consumed by my eyes. And explore she did, with the water falling over both of us, and the soap lathered in her hands and over my skin. My hands pressed against the shower walls, I closed my eyes at her ministrations. Working her way down, she caressed and cleansed. Other than her hands, she barely touched me, her breasts grazing my skin occasionally and her breath more than her lips raising the hairs on my arms.
God, what she could make me feel with even the slightest touch. She brought me instantly to arousal as soon as we wanted it. Foreplay was only part of it – what we felt together was everything. It wasn’t just her body and her loving – her mind pushed me towards an unbelievable passion. The whole package was intoxicating, and sometimes during sex I couldn’t tell her thoughts from mine.
“Sadie, turn around.” I obeyed without hesitation, and she began on my front, starting at my feet and making her way up. Seeing her kneeling at my feet, I felt incredibly vulnerable. She paused at my sex, gently teasing while she cleaned, lingering in the folds she found. Her mouth pressed against it, and it almost ended there – or began there, however you want to think about it.
Yet she managed to finish the job, provoking the nerves in my nipples on the way. Finally face to face, she couldn’t hold herself back any longer, and neither could I. Touching her for the first time since entering the bathroom, I felt her body respond before I even touched it. She pressed against me while leaving the upper body free for physical endearments.
Reaching for her lips with my own, I slid my tongue inside, losing myself in her taste. As she responded, I reached around with one hand – the other still fondling a breast – and found her ass as firm and perfect as I remembered. As I grabbed it, pulling her into me, I could feel the muscles flexing beneath.
I didn’t know how much more I could take before I would explode, and I wanted her to writhe beneath my hands before that happened.
Inserting my other hand between us, I found what I was looking for and gently massaged her labia. Her folds were warm and moist, and her breath quickened when I entered the tip of a finger, all that I could manage in the position we were in.
“Sadie. More. Please.” She begged. Leaving her lips reluctantly, I lowered myself until I found her breasts. Her mind told me what she wanted, and I eagerly obliged: a tongue across a nipple followed by a gentle nip. As my teeth grazed her tits, her fingers touched my own, and I might have climaxed right there had I wanted to.
I wanted more of her than I had, so I knelt in front of her, my eyes level with her red curls. Gripping my wet hair between her fists, she longed to touch me, but the moment was mine.
Entering her with a single finger from behind at the same time as from the front with my tongue, she gasped, her body tensing in the sudden ecstasy. It urged me further, tasting her, feeling her, wanting her. Gentle motions in and out while my tongue flicked her clit repeatedly, she panted at my efforts. Easing a second finger in only increased the effect, my spare hand holding her against me.
Her body began to shake as I increased the rhythm of the thrusts. Without warning, I inserted a third finger and increased the intensity of the thrusts at the same time. Her hips tilted towards me in invitation, and I knew she was nearly there. Nothing held her back except her will to make this the best orgasm of her life, and for that I needed one more thing.
As I grazed her clit with my teeth, I simultaneously felt a contraction beneath my mouth and hand and her orgasm in her mind, intense and euphoric all at once. Intensifying the thrusts as well as the oral torture, she came with me in her, then melted around me.
Withdrawing, I could feel her ecstasy and hear her breathing begin to slow. “Sadie. Sadie.” She couldn’t seem to say anything else, and that was fine with me. I loved the satisfied way she said my name.
Standing, I brushed my lips against hers and felt the water begin to cool on my back. “Perfect timing.” She said.
“For me, but not for you.”
“Another time. Come on, you’re getting cold.”
Despite my urging and my departure, she remained to finish her shower, saying the cold didn’t bother her. While she remained in the shower, I grabbed a second pillow from my closet and tidied up my bedroom.
I felt her presence in the doorway before I realized the shower had turned off. She stood there, leaning against the doorframe, gloriously naked, watching me.
“What’s your favorite part of the body?” I searched hers, but that wasn’t what she meant. “I offered you penance earlier, so what do you want me to do?” Her offer was genuine and playfully sexual, not raised by some imagined guilt, so I felt myself rise to the challenge.
“How are you at foot massages?”
“I can manage.” Her delight told me she could more than manage. Without a word she retreated to the bathroom and returned with a bottle. “Lie down.”
Stretching out on my queen sized bed, propped up a bit by the pillows, she sat at my feet. Cross-legged again – God she knew how to tease me. I had a perfect view of her breasts, and they glowed under her tanned skin. The bottle contained vanilla oil – I could smell it soon after she opened the bottle. Then she took my left foot into her hands.
I’v
e always loved a good foot massage, on the rare occasion when I could get one, but this one was the best. First I had quite a view with her naked body at my feet and my foot in her lap. My feet genuinely hurt after our hike. Under her touch the muscles eased and my whole body began to relax.
“Is there anything you can’t do?” I wondered as she worked each toe individually.
“I can’t sew. Never learned, and never wanted to. I can’t draw or paint or sculpt. I can do a few things with a screwdriver, but don’t ask me to work on your car.”
“You’re enjoying this, too.”
“It’s the first intimate thing I’ve done for you – intimate, not sexual or romantic. I’m loving it. I usually like to do things the other way around: romance before intimacy, intimacy before sex. It’s usually more fun to discover the person before you discover their body. But you turned my world upside down the moment I saw you, and it all happened backwards.”
“Our libidos did sort of take control.” I admitted, though with no regrets.
“I like the way we started. I wanted you the moment I met you, and at the same time I saw someone I wanted to know and discover. I’ve never felt the two together so strongly before. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was leave you at your front door last night. But it was worth it, waiting until we found the clearing and finding each other under the trees. I can’t imagine a more perfect beginning to our relationship.” She switched feet.
I was getting sleepy, but she had one more question. “Do you need to get up in the morning?” She would be there in the morning, I thought, smiling.
“No. I don’t work until Monday.”
“Any other plans?” She wanted to know if she could stay all day.
Psyche Moon Page 6