“It’s pretty casual. Don’t make a big fuss of it. They won’t care anyway.”
“So long as I show up clothed?” I tried to joke.
“That part wouldn’t matter much either.” I wasn’t sure what to make of that statement. Mentally reviewing my wardrobe, I started getting excited.
We parted with a kiss, lingering over it as long as I dared. With the nosy neighbor still asleep, we kissed in the street. “A flat tire would really be nice about now.” I jokingly suggested as I drew away.
Mentally, she agreed. “I’ll see you tonight.” Her eyes burned my back as I walked away. Only when my old Mazda fired up did she hop into her jeep. Her thoughts turned eagerly towards the conversation with Richard.
Lorren, Volstein and Marks was as pretentious as a successful law firm was expected to be. Occupying the entire top floor of one of the downtown business buildings and decorated at great expense, the firm deliberately created an atmosphere of power and authority. Useful, Billie conceded, but a bit much. Stepping off the elevator, Billie greeted the receptionist warmly. Lilian had been with the firm longer than Billie, and Billie both respected and liked the woman.
“Good morning Billie.” She smiled affectionately over her desk. “Mr. Lorren would like you to stop by his office first thing.”
“Did he ask before or after 8:00?” Billie quirked her eyebrows and grinned.
“After. But I don’t think it’s about being late. Want me to let him know you’re here?”
“No. I’ll surprise him.” She nodded and returned to the monitor.
Her office was in the very back with minimal distractions from clients and coworkers. She walked briskly down the long corridor, saying hello to the people she passed. In contrast to the rest of the firm, her office sported simple and functional furniture with little décor. A single photo of her and her sister pretending to throw their father into a river adorned the wall. Her mother stood out of sight behind the camera. Dropping her briefcase on an expansive desk, she took a moment to glance at her inbox. Nothing there was more urgent than seeing Richard, so she headed back the way she came.
As the foremost attorney in the firm, Richard had the biggest office. The door was cracked, and Billie knew Richard was alone. She knocked quietly as she opened the door wider. “Good morning, Richard.”
Richard was in his normal gregarious mood, a personality trait that had taken him far in his career. “Billie! Come in.” Unburying himself from his computer, he smiled brightly.
“Sorry I’m late.” She began, closing the door behind her.
His eyes lit up as he navigated around his desk. “Ha! Good sex should never be apologized for. Who is she?”
Billie hugged her friend. “Her name is Sadie, and she’s fantastic.”
He patted her on the back, “By the glow, I’d have guessed she’s Branwen.” He referenced the Celtic goddess of love and beauty. Richard revered the old gods and goddesses of Europe.
“That would be an excellent description.” Billie decided. “I met her on Friday, and we spent Saturday in the mountains.”
“Not just Saturday by the scent of it.” His eyes twinkled.
Billie grinned her reply. “She’s coming to dinner on Friday.”
He leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head. Kathryn called it his ‘Tell me everything!’ posture. “What’s she like?”
“You’ll have to meet her and find out.” Billie teased.
“Now what did I ever do to you?” He acted offended.
“Absolutely nothing. I just enjoy torturing you.”
“Sadist.” He grumbled.
“So what’s up? Lilian said you wanted to see me first thing.”
“One of our clients thinks we’re overbilling. They’re working with the new guy, Pearson, and there’s something about him that I don’t trust. Would you check him out quietly? Client accounts, logs, the works. Something is off, and I’d like to know what.”
“Sure. Want me to prioritize it over the reports you asked for on Friday?”
“Yes. I have a bad feeling about this. Prioritize it as much as you can. What’s your impression of him?”
“I haven’t interacted with him much, but my hackles rise a little. I’ll check into it right away.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem. Anything else?”
“That’s it, unless you’re willing to talk about Sadie.” He looked hopeful, but Billie dashed his hopes.
“Not a chance. But something happened last night.” Billie filled him in on the attack. “Sadie was my priority, so I didn’t call the Trackers. It started to rain right after, so their scent is long gone. I don’t think there’s anything that can be done about it. But I’m open to suggestions.”
“Without a way to identify them, there’s not much I can do. If I think of something, I’ll let you know.”
Billie nodded. “Thanks. It really shook Sadie up.”
His face grew sober in thought. “Do you think they’ll retaliate?”
“I doubt it. They’re just a couple of kids. I bruised them up pretty solid – nothing permanent, but they’ll feel it for a couple weeks. They wouldn’t dare even if they wanted to.”
Richard nodded, thoughtful. “Assault and Battery and Attempted Rape at such a young age. Makes you wonder where they’ll be in ten years.”
She’d considered that as well. “I agree with Jason’s policy, but I probably should have called the police anyway.”
“I understand how you feel, but I’ve seen that end very badly too many times. The policy is sound.”
“I know, which is why I didn’t. Right now I don’t like it.”
“I’ll run their descriptions by my police contact. See if anything turns up.”
“Thanks Richard.” Billie responded with a sigh. “I better get started on Pearson. He’s a smart one. If he is up to something, he won’t make it easy for me.”
“Probably not. One of the many reasons why I like having you as our accountant. You’re the best.” He grinned, punching her on the arm.
Billie returned to her office and started hunting.
I couldn’t remember a drearier day of work. It took a half hour to get into the swing of things, and even after that it all seemed too mundane. Glancing at my watch repeatedly, the hours ticked by at a fraction of their normal speed.
My normal routine consisted primarily of directing the crew, organizing the shipments and an endless stream of paperwork. Ordinarily it was moderately satisfying: figuring out the logistics and accomplishing a task. It sounded boring to most, but I knew the routine well and my days usually passed quickly. That day it just wouldn’t end.
Billie had intoxicated me, and I didn’t want to be at work. I couldn’t wait for the final minute to turn over and I could be with her again. I found myself staring at a computer screen at one point, reading the words but not registering a thing. Instead, a beautiful redhead occupied my thoughts.
Gary, the newest member of the crew, noticed. I knew little about him and even less that didn’t come from his application and interview. I’d been impressed with him immediately, for he was a naturally loyal person, and someone I knew I wanted on my team after less than a minute. One week on the job and I wasn’t disappointed. “Got a hot date?” I liked him – friendly and kindhearted, he was quick with a smile and pleasant towards all the other employees. He also was turning into an efficient and conscientious worker.
I smiled secretively. “Yes.” He caught the glow in my eyes.
Pausing a moment in his chore, he chuckled curiously. “What’s his name?”
It took a second for his comment to register. I hadn’t realized he didn’t know – everyone knew. Not all were okay with my being a lesbian, but company policy forbade them to do anything about it. A rare thing in Idaho. “Her name is Billie.” I emphasized the pronoun.
He didn’t hesitate and pressed a little further. “New girlfriend?”
I appreciated his honest interest, but wo
ndered how everyone but he knew I was a lesbian and previously single. I leaned back and cocked my head, challenging him good naturedly. “You must not listen to the gossip around here. Yes. New girlfriend. We met this weekend.”
He shrugged. “Gossip is more often wrong than right. It’s always rude. Cool. Is she cute?”
Enjoying sharing her with someone, I responded. “She’s beautiful. She has red hair and the most amazing legs. She’s an accountant at a law firm.” I couldn’t help but show my pride.
He whistled at my words then wagged his finger at me. “Sounds like a keeper. Make her take you someplace nice.” I laughed, unwilling to tell him I’d rather stay in. “I better get back at it. Have fun.”
“Thanks.” The conversation, though pleasant, didn’t speed up my day. Fifty forms and a performance review later, the day finally ended. Clocking out, I felt Gary walk by and looked up in time to catch his wink as he passed.
“See you tomorrow.” He was happy for me and honestly wanted me to have a good time.
“Bye Gary.” I strode out the door and found my car. Shift change was always a nightmare in the parking lot, designed for a single crew without thought to the transition in between. Though usually patient, I drummed the steering wheel in my hurry, muttering under my breath. Twenty minutes later I pulled in behind Billie’s jeep, brushing her mind in hello.
Sitting on the front step of my simple home in her tailored business suit, she looked pleasantly out of place. The sight of her lifted my spirits. Remind me to give you a key.
I approached her. “That would make it easier to surprise you with dinner already cooked. I brought you a present.” Lifting my eyebrows, she blew it off. “It’s not exactly romantic, and it’s as much for me as for you. After yesterday, I’ll sleep easier when I’m not here.”
Not even wrapped, I pulled a security bolt out of the bag – the kind that won’t break before the frame does. It was very thoughtful and protective, especially after the night before. I didn’t know how to express what I felt, so it was a good thing she could sense it anyway. “Billie. Thank you.” Somehow it was better than roses.
“And I brought a screwdriver, food and some oil. You are getting a massage tonight.”
“What do you get?” I kissed her, holding her chin between two fingers.
“You.” Her thoughts told me that was all she wanted.
“You’re spoiling me.” I warned her. “I might get used to it.”
“That’s the plan.” Her mind promised me much more to come.
We pulled more groceries out of her jeep than my house had ever seen at one time. “God, Billie. How much do you spend on food each month?”
She rolled her eyes dramatically. “You don’t want to know. And I don’t expect anyone outside the family to keep up with it, so no complaints about stocking your cupboards.”
I didn’t argue with that, and was financially glad she didn’t expect it of me. I would have done it in a heartbeat if I could still pay the rent, but what little I had to spare each month went to an old hospital bill. Every month they called me to say it was insufficient.
“So what’s on the menu tonight?”
“I brought lots of possibilities. Garlic chicken and stir-fried vegetables maybe. What are you in the mood for?”
“That sounds good. Some of the herb bread I saw would go well with that, and we can caramel a couple of pears for dessert.”
“Perfect.” She set about the kitchen and wouldn’t let me help. With her suit jacket off, I enjoyed the scene while she made dinner. No jewelry adorned her whatsoever. Her thin white blouse underneath made it clear that she wasn’t wearing a bra, even though she’d come directly from work. I imagined myself confirming that, reaching under her shirt and finding her breasts bare. As I fantasized about her nipples, they hardened and nudged against the silky material. That and a smug grin told me she was following my thoughts.
As she cooked, she chatted about her job, and it seemed just too mundane for someone like her. Spreadsheets and deadlines and an endless array of numbers. Still, it was obvious she enjoyed it, and I couldn’t argue with that.
“What did Richard say about being late for work?” I had to know.
She rolled a shoulder suggestively, smirking at the memory. “I walked into his office and apologized for being late. As soon as he knew the reason, he said, and I quote, ‘Good sex should never be apologized for.’”
“He actually said that?” I laughed, embarrassed.
“Exact quote.” Billie threw me a grin as she grabbed a pan. “He’s eager to meet you on Friday.”
“I can’t wait. What should I wear?” I’d asked that before, and she’d said casual, but I didn’t know what that meant when a lawyer came for dinner, even one who was a friend.
She reiterated what she’d said before. “It’s not a big deal. Richard and Kathryn won’t care.”
My eyebrows shot up. “A lawyer who’s not interested in the clothes a person wears? Does that exist?” That was hard to believe.
“On the job he cares. Among friends and family he doesn’t.”
“What did you tell him about me?” I wondered nervously if she’d told him I was a Sensitive. The name was still new to me.
Her wicked grin told the truth. “Almost nothing, which is driving him nuts already. I’m going to enjoy watching him figure you out.”
“Great. A lamb thrown to the wolves.”
That amused her immensely, though I didn’t understand why. She approached me, pulling me towards her, and bent her head to my neck. Breathing on it, not quite touching it with her lips, I could feel the skin prickle. My eyes closed and head leaned back under her breath. Anticipation and desire filled me, and she murmured softly. “I would hardly call you a lamb. You smell so much better.” Between the laughter in her mind and the seriousness of her voice, I laughed.
The chicken in the oven and everything else ready to go, we made ourselves at home on the couch. With her legs wrapped around mine, she nibbled my neck from behind. Even though I enjoyed it, I couldn’t keep my mind away from the night before. “What’s bothering you?” She wanted to know.
“We should have called the police last night.” It had been bugging me off and on all day.
She invited me closer, and I rested my head on her shoulder, the foreplay delayed for a moment. “I know. But I couldn’t.”
“Are you in trouble?” That didn’t feel right, but I needed her to voice it for once.
“No. It’s just that my family’s legal matters get complicated when the police are called in. Not a single one of us has a warrant or is under investigation or is illegal. However, we have to be very careful about when we call law enforcement.” Once again I felt her holding something back, and for the first time it bothered me.
“But they’ll do it again.” I shuddered, unable to help imagining them attacking another woman.
She sighed, rubbing my arms in apology. “I know. And I hate it too, but I promised my family.” She truly did detest letting those boys get away, but she felt trapped so I didn’t push her.
Guilt pervaded my emotions, and Billie knew it instantly. “He got away with it, didn’t he?”
I couldn’t answer right away, and she gave me the time I needed. “I never called the police.”
“And that haunts you.” She’d hit the nail on the head.
Remorse that I hadn’t realized I’d pent up hit me hard, and my voice shook. “I know I condemned someone else to the same thing.” I’d never voiced any of this before, and I wasn’t sure how I was doing it.
Her arms embraced me, and I felt protected. “No. He’s the rapist. Put the blame where it should be – on him. You did nothing wrong.” Her tone was gentle, her mind insistent. A low pulse of anger rose within her, and I could tell she went to great lengths to control it. I also knew her anger was for my sake, which reassured me a bit.
“If I’d turned him in, he’d be in jail now.”
“Why didn’t you?” Her min
d held me in a comfortable embrace. Her question came with no recriminations, only genuine interest.
Snuggling my head even further into her shoulder, I nevertheless turned my gaze away from her. Away from this woman who was strength incarnate – everything I wasn’t. I didn’t want to admit my weakness to her, but it was important, and I knew it. “I was alone. I had no one.”
“You are so strong.” I didn’t understand or believe, and she felt that. “There are many types of strength. To survive something like that alone shows incredible inner strength. Believe it.”
“How?” I knew she didn’t mean it, but I felt minimized by her words. They simply weren’t true. I was weak, and I’d always been weak. I felt the tears on my cheeks and realized they’d been flowing for a while. “I ran away, and he walked free to attack someone else.” My voice came out harsher than I intended, but she didn’t take offense.
“Growing up I had my parents and sister, and now I have my family too. Much of my strength comes from them, because no matter what happens I can turn to them. It’s easy to be strong. But you. You’ve had to find all of your strength from within you, without family or support. It’s always been that way, hasn’t it? To be the person you are today without help through the shadows … that takes more strength than I will ever have.”
She believed it wholeheartedly, but I wasn’t sure I did. It was nice to hear – and confusing – and I knew internalizing it would take time even if it were true. I still doubted that last part. “I thought I was supposed to be the expert on human behavior.”
“Not when it comes to you. You see everyone around you so clearly, but you are a stranger to yourself.”
I thought about that, and knew she was right. “Other people I don’t have to figure out. I just know.”
She knew where my thoughts were going. “But you struggle to figure out your own feelings.”
“I do. I always have. It’s so frustrating!”
“That’s normal.” We both laughed a little.
Psyche Moon Page 9