“Instinct.” He said, and I nodded. That was apparently something he understood. He was beginning to relax, and the intense anger and distrust had softened. But something new had him very worried. “Have you ever controlled someone’s thoughts before?”
I nodded slightly, not liking to admit it. “A couple of times. A long time ago.”
“Why not now?”
I gathered my thoughts to try and put words to it all. What I could do defied language, and I knew I couldn’t explain it well. I tried. “Reading simple thoughts and emotions is as natural for me as breathing. I just do it. But when I control someone’s thoughts it’s different. It’s forceful, and I feel … I don’t know how to describe it. Godlike. Volatile. Like it’s my right to do anything I want. It’s seductive, satisfying. I scared myself when I did it before. I hated that I used someone. Tonight was worse. When I was holding onto the power, I was enjoying it. I saw the bodies, and I was glad they were dead. But when it was over I was horrified.”
“I’ve never met a Mage who didn’t like that power.”
My voice turned harsh and clipped. “I don’t. It’s like knowing there’s a psychopath living inside of me. If I don’t touch that power, she can’t come out. ”
“Billie will be okay. You saved her life, and you called me in time. Wolves either die quickly or heal completely. Her body has started to repair itself, and now she just needs food and sleep. So do you. Go to bed.”
“I won’t leave her.”
He nodded and disappeared into my room again, returning with more bedding and a shirt. He didn’t even seem to notice my nudity, as if my breasts were no more interesting than my chin. So I dropped the blanket and slipped the shirt over my head despite his presence. Spreading the bedding on the floor beside the couch, I lay down wishing I could still feel Billie’s touch. But the couch wasn’t big enough for a human and an injured wolf.
As I closed my eyes, Jason spoke thoughtfully, “I don’t know what to think of you, Sadie. We’ll see what happens next before I decide what to do with you. Reading thoughts may be normal for you, but it’s not to me. To me it’s an attack, and I always defend myself and my Pack.”
I didn’t open my eyes or turn in his direction. I didn’t want to see his accusing eyes any more. “Blocking out surface thoughts and emotions is like trying not to hear a conversation happening right beside me. I can’t promise I won’t pick up surface thoughts – I don’t know how to block out everything. But I’ll block out as much as I can. You have my word.”
He didn’t reply, and I left it at that.
Chapter 11
Her desperate mental call woke me. Sadie! The urgency in it put a loaded spring under my back and I bolted up to check on her. Her legs thrashed as she searched for me, not understanding I was right in front of her.
Shhh. I’m right here, love. I’m safe. You’re safe. Jason’s here too. I locked my eyes onto her crystal almond shaped ones, and she stilled. I buried my hands in her warm neck, strangely finding comfort in the softness of her fur. “Everyone is safe.”
Did they hurt you?
A few bruises. That’s all. You stopped them before they could do more. I promised her. I wasn’t injured much, but I couldn’t honestly say I was dandy.
You’re really okay? I’d convinced her about as much as I’d convinced myself.
She wouldn’t believe it until she felt the full truth from me. An explanation was in order. “I’m really okay. I’m shaken up and scared and my face feels pretty mushy, but it doesn’t hurt much unless I touch it. It’s not serious. I’ll heal.”
They didn’t rape you? Her voice shuddered at the question, and an involuntary shiver swept over me.
No. You saved me, love. I couldn’t believe it when you were suddenly there. I never thought you’d get there in time. They were going to rape me and kill me – I could see it in their minds – but then you came.
I ran as hard as I could. As soon as I heard you, I changed and ran. I’ve never run so fast. A clear memory of her racing through the streets surfaced, a wolf running with houses and trees rushing past as she frantically tried to reach me in time. Not knowing if I’d still be alive when she got there.
I never expected you’d come to my rescue in a fur coat. I teased her.
She hesitated and her body went still. Does it bother you? What I am?
No. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t. Her belly rumbled. Don’t you ever get enough to eat? I laughed out loud. “Cooked or raw?” I didn’t know until that moment that a wolf could laugh.
Jason had been watching the exchange, not hearing the mental conversation of course, but sensing our exchange the way they all could. “Raw.” He replied for her.
I patted my girl on the rump, and stood. “I take it food poisoning isn’t something to worry about?”
“Not when we’re Wolf.”
“Well she can’t complain about my cooking that way.” I snorted and retrieved some meat from the kitchen.
When I returned, Jason was at Billie’s side, checking her wound and speaking to her. “I’m not leaving you until you’re well, Beta. Eat and rest. Someone’s hunting for you tonight and you’ll have game by morning.”
She rolled her head in obvious loving supplication. Where’s Richard?
“She’s asking for Richard.” I set the bowl in reach and she began to scarf delicately at the food, a telling change to her initial feeding frenzy. She was fully awake and aware of her surroundings, but exhausted.
Jason aimed his reply at Billie. “He’s on his way. They were visiting his friend in Pocatello. When I called him he headed right back. They’ll be here in a few hours.” She licked his hand. “Don’t even try to suck up to me, doll.” His scold came out stern but not unfriendly. “You’ve got some questions to answer when you’re feeling better. It’ll be a while before you’re ready to change. Lucky for you, I don’t feel like bitching you out using a Mage as a translator.” She lifted her lip in distaste at his comment against Sadie. He thumped her nose. “You’re the one who didn’t tell me you were dating a Mage. You know the law.”
Billie shifted her body in a show of putting herself between Jason and me, an impressive motion amidst painful groans. Curling her lip, the message was clear. I will protect her, even from you.
His face became unreadable, a blank slate, and I didn’t dare check his thoughts. “She’s promised to behave. So long as she does not threaten the Pack I will not touch her. You have my word. She saved your life, and for that I am grateful to her. But this is serious, Beta. We have a lot to talk about.” She set her nose on my arm and looked directly into his eyes, claiming me in front of her Alpha. “I can see that.” His tone sardonic. “No promises.”
Uncomfortable with their conversation on too many levels to count, I interrupted. I spoke to Billie aloud so that Jason could understand. “Argue later. Eat now. We’ll figure everything out when you’re feeling better, love.”
Obediently, she turned back to her meal and cleaned the bowl. A slight flicker of emotion bled off of Jason – annoyance that his Wolf obeyed me after defying him. Not wanting him to realize I’d inadvertently read his thoughts, I changed the subject. “I’ve never seen anyone heal like this. The wound is already closing and her strength is coming back.”
Jason nodded. “We heal very fast if we can eat and sleep well. Our ability to transform our shape also lets us heal quickly. She’s in no danger now. She’ll make a full recovery.”
“Thank God.” I sighed.
He nodded. “There’s more going on than just her, though. I need you to shower and get dressed for a morning jog. A Wolf is coming to take you to where the cops are processing the scene.”
I panicked. “Why?”
His eyes flicked sideways at me, and I imagined I saw light reflecting off of them like a cat. “The only way they’ll believe it was a gang fight is if you make them believe it. Later you’ll have to go see the coroner and anyone else you miss this morning.”
Coldness passed over me at the idea of seeing the bodies of the boys I’d killed and of remembering their thoughts when they attacked me. “I don’t think I can.” I whispered.
“They’re almost ready to take the bodies away.” He said softly. “I’m not a cruel person, Sadie. I don’t want to force this on you after what they tried to do to you. But for everyone’s safety you must make them believe it was just a fight. Someone brought an attack dog, and no one got out alive. We’ll be providing them with a German shepherd as soon as we have one. If they close the case today, the Pack will be safe. If they keep looking for answers and they find some, people will die.
“If you really do love her, protect her. If they find out what she is and what she did, they will try to kill her. They will come after all of us, including you. It will be a blood bath on both sides.”
I nodded, biting my lip. I understood well how people feared what they didn’t understand. That fear had been turned my way more than once, and it would be worse for Billie. They would hunt down any animal that killed two people. I could only imagine what they would do to a monster that did it, and that’s exactly how they would see all of us. I stroked the now sleeping Billie and went to shower.
I didn’t know if the blood washing down the drain was mine or Billie’s – probably both. I focused on it, using it to build my resolve at what needed to be done. This won’t be the last of the blood if I don’t fix this. I told myself. I have to break my promise, for Billie’s sake. And for her Pack. Showering quickly, I blew my hair dry and dressed in training clothes.
When I emerged, a strange man stood near the door. Young and athletic, he too was dressed for a jog. Hair trim and nothing out of place, he reminded me of someone in the military. He stood casually against the doorframe and yet gave an impression of readiness. His eyes raked over me and his voice came out contemptuous and sarcastic. “Nice of you to hurry. If you’re done making yourself pretty we have something important to do.”
For a moment I didn’t understand his contempt, but then it dawned on me. “How often do people shower before they go jogging? I had to get all of the blood off of me, but a morning jog with wet hair doesn’t make sense. It might be noticed.” I was starting to feel like the school nerd, picked on and bullied one too many times. I was finding my voice.
His lips quirked in an appreciative grin, but he didn’t reply. He didn’t trust me but granted a modicum of respect at my willingness to stand up to him. I was getting the distinct impression that no one stood up to a Wolf.
Jason gave the instructions. “This is Matthew. Go with him and do what he says. And Mage, your promise extends to him. When you promised me you promised the Pack.”
“I keep my promises.” I replied stonily. Giving Billie a kiss on the forehead, I steeled myself and turned to Matthew. “I have to stretch if we’re going to actually jog. What’s the plan?” He filled me in on the details while I stretched out my muscles, relaxing into the ritual.
“There are a couple of problems with your plan.” He glared at my challenge but waved for me continue. “I’ve never intentionally controlled someone’s thoughts. I did it by accident a few times when I was young, but I learned how not to do it. I’m no pro. And I don’t know anything about crime scenes and investigations. I don’t think I can figure it out myself. You have to take the lead, talk to the police. I’ll make them believe it somehow.”
“You don’t know how?” His eyebrows rose skeptically. “How do you plan on succeeding, then?”
I paused in my stretches for a moment and huffed. “Instinct. I’ve never been taught how to do these things. I simply knew. I had to learn how to hold myself back. When I want it to happen it will.”
He nodded, understanding. I thought about the plan in silence while I finished stretching my calves. There was one more thing I needed to be sure it would work, and I didn’t want to ask for it. I didn’t like the idea of pissing off a werewolf.
I turned squarely at the powerful man in my living room and laid it all out. “Here’s the deal. I promised Jason I would block out the thoughts of his Pack. Except Billie of course. But I don’t know the first thing about crime scenes and knife wounds. If I try to do this blindly, I’ll probably screw it up.” Taking a deep breath, I continued. “I need your thoughts to guide me. I swear I will not look at anything personal. I won’t stray from what we’re doing. And I won’t influence you in any way.” I left the statement as a question hanging in the air, waiting for his permission. Meeting his eyes, I didn’t waver and I hid nothing.
He didn’t like it and expressed his disapproval with a growl. “How do I know I can trust you?”
“Billie trusts me. Do you trust her?” He didn’t reply. Tired, hungry, and emotionally exhausted, I pulled no punches. My voice grew low and forceful, every inch of frustration showing through. “I don’t trust you either. You come into my home, order me around, and threaten my life. Both of you. I’ve done nothing to deserve that and you’ve given me no reason to like you or trust you. But I would walk through fire for Billie. She risked her life for me last night. I felt every emotion and heard every thought those boys had while they were attacking me, and you don’t want to know what they were planning to do to me. Billie came out of nowhere and risked everything to save me from them. She thought I would reject her when I saw her in fur and she didn’t hesitate. If I can do anything to keep her safe I will.”
Was that respect I saw in Jason’s eyes? Without a mental tone to follow, I wasn’t sure. “True enough.” He snorted and nodded at Matthew.
“Fine.” Matthew stated reluctantly. “I agree. But only while we’re doing this. After that, stay out of my head.”
“Promise.”
Pre-dawn light touched the horizon, and the air was crisp – perfect jogging weather. I wished I was just going jogging – I could use some of the clarity that always came with it. I set the pace and he led the way. Opening up my senses, I searched for anyone who noticed us. When someone did, I nudged their focus elsewhere. I didn’t want us noticed, and I didn’t want my bruises seen. He took us around so that we came to the scene from a different direction than my house. When I saw the commotion of police and onlookers, lights flashing everywhere, I gasped.
Anger and fear dominated every person at the scene. People were horrified at the carnage and shocked that something like this could happen in their neighborhood. I did this. I thought, verging on panic.
“Hold it together.” Matthew ordered softly. We slowed to a walk and came upon the scene as if with the same curiosity as a half dozen others. The bodies were covered, thank God. I didn’t have to look at their faces in the light of day. I didn’t have to remember what they tried to do to me or what I did to them.
“What happened?” I asked an older man leaning on a cane, carefully making sure no one who saw me noticed my injuries. I’d never used my abilities this way, but it wasn’t difficult. Instinct.
“Not sure. A bunch of kids got killed last night.” I touched his mind and discovered only a little more. The police were calling it random violence, and an animal was involved. From other minds I gathered memories of the one who found the bodies and of the police’s arrival. It gave me an impression of the situation but told me little of interest.
An officer glanced our way and I placed a suggestion in his mind that he should talk to us. Planting the thought was even easier than I suspected. I’d dropped my barriers, and my true nature came to the forefront. I only had to decide what I wanted him to think and he thought it. Too easy. I began to enjoy myself.
He strode our way. “Been out jogging long?” The thirty-something year old man asked us.
“Not long.” Matthew replied, giving the officer a curious look. “What happened?” His acting skills rocked.
“Nine dead teenage boys. The rest we’re still figuring out. Did you notice anything out of the ordinary around here last night?” The officer’s training told him to collect information not provide it, and I only contradicted that a
little. After all, I could get what I needed from his head.
I shook my head and let Matthew do the talking. The officer said little but I found all I needed from his mind. The bodies were planted. There were post mortem stab wounds. The only thing straight forward was that two of the boys were killed by an animal. Probably a dog.
I went to work changing his mind about the whole scene, using information from Matthew’s mind as a template. It wasn’t something I had any practice at, but I let the power flow and allowed my nature to emerge. It felt powerful, chasing away the last of my fear. “Other than the dog fight it was pretty quiet last night.” I mentioned.
“Dog fight? When was that?”
I tried to remember when I arrived home, but all I could remember for sure was that it was dark. “I’m not sure exactly. It was after sunset.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t watching the clock.” He almost asked for my name and address, but I curtailed that thought and entwined my comment into the new story developing in his mind.
Once satisfied that his new memories were complete, tapping into Matthew’s knowledge for guidance, I focused on every other officer on the scene. I lay the new memories and opinions out in front of them, braiding them into the minds of the men and women around me. Officers and onlookers alike. Discovering that several were no longer present, I stretched my awareness out to find them, tracking each person involved.
It was a violation, and somewhere within me I knew that. But as the power flowed through me I didn’t care. I felt like a god.
As my awareness returned to my immediate surroundings, I swayed. The officer noticed and spoke kindly. “It’s pretty gruesome, I know. If anyone responsible got away we’ll find him, and we’ll find the dog and put him down. Your neighborhood is safe.”
I nodded at his reassurance. He’d thought I was about to pass out from the shock of what happened. Taking advantage of his cue, I turned to Matthew. “Can we get out of here?”
Psyche Moon Page 15