by Sarah Monzon
Every day they’d spent together had been the best day of his life. If he didn’t convince her to take a chance on them, would he be relegated to living in his memories? Maybe if he had kissed her, it would be enough. A single kiss to feed him for all his days.
He closed his eyes and waited for his pulse to calm. For his reason to return. Because there had been a reason why he hadn’t kissed her yet. He respected her too much. Loved her too much. And though he’d never profess that he knew much of the Bible after such short a time being a Christian, he did know one thing—love was patient.
And so he’d wait. Never take, but only give when she was ready to receive.
He had to hope it would be enough. That she would eventually come to the same conclusion he had—that they were better together than they were apart. Or would she always justify her reasons for them staying apart? Put other people and other things ahead of her own happiness. Her own feelings.
Because whether she admitted it to herself or not, whether she said the words back to him or not, he knew she loved him as he loved her.
“Something wrong?” Kayla walked into the kitchen, tying off the end of her long plait.
Seth set his cell on the table and glared at it with contempt. “Coach called. Seems I’m commanded back to the club tomorrow. Or else.”
Kayla pulled down a mug and poured the pot of tea he’d prepared earlier, finishing it off with a splash of milk. “I thought you still had a couple of weeks.”
He ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I thought so too.”
She blew over the top of her mug and took a small sip. “I’m going to assume the dejected look on your face is due to a certain American?”
He tossed her a look, half warning and half plea.
“If she’s as smart as you claim, then she’ll see what’s in front of her face. If not, then give her one of your infamous heart-stopping smiles and a wink. She’ll be so overcome by your charms she’ll follow you back to England and fling herself at you like one of your many groupies.”
He turned his stare to all-warning.
She laughed. “Fine. I’m sorry Monk Marshall.” Her grin disappeared behind the lip of her mug. “You’re taking this entirely too seriously, in my opinion. Don’t you Christians have some sort of saying like God destines your steps or some such rot? If you think the two of you are ‘meant to be’”—she raised her hands for air quotes—“then isn’t your God powerful enough to make sure everything works out?”
An invisible fist jammed into his diaphragm, knocking the breath out of him. Kayla was right. He’d been so worried about how he was going to convince Amber of the power of their feelings for one another that he forgot the One who’d brought them together in the first place.
One day he’d learn to trust first. To let He who keeps the universe in motion have first and last control of his life. For now, he was thankful that God used even unbelieving, annoying little sisters to talk sense into him.
Everything would be okay. Even if he and Amber never came together, he’d be okay, because he trusted in Someone who saw the end and the beginning. Who knew his heart and Amber’s, and Who could do more than he could even ask or think.
Time to sub you in, Father. I’m out of this game and trusting in You to win her heart for me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Holy Roman Empire, 1527
Light called out of the darkness. Slashed across Christyne’s closed eyes and stabbed at her mind.
Heat.
So much heat. In her throat. Her chest. Her stomach.
She burned. Fire inside her. Scorching her.
Must breathe.
She opened her mouth, expecting more water to flow in. But, nay. Air. Blessed air. She sucked in, filled her lungs. Pain shot through her. Stabbed her without mercy. Her chest seized. Throat spasmed. Coughing overtook her body.
Was that a warm hand upon her shoulder? She looked up past the liquid that filled her gaze, her chest constricting and causing her whole body to shudder.
Concerned blue eyes stared back at her. Lorenz? How was it possible? She had seen him enter the water. Be carried down by the stone around his neck.
Her stomach rolled and pitched. A sick sensation raced up the back of her throat. She turned her head in time to lose the contents of her stomach upon the ground. Her muscles convulsed. Tightening over and over. More of the lake exited her middle and muddied the ground beneath her.
Her arms shook with the effort of holding her head above the ground. She gasped in air, collecting every small breath like a greedy beggar. The air only flamed the heat scorching her throat and middle, but even so, her lungs never seemed to fill.
“Praise be to God,” Lorenz whispered. He placed his arms around her shoulders and pressed her back to his chest.
She leaned against him, comforted by his strength, and closed her eyes as she willed her pulse to slow. Though it felt like daggers slicing her throat to use her voice, she spoke. “H-how?” How had he managed to break free of his bindings? To escape his watery grave and save her as well? These were the questions she tried to push past her swollen lips, but no words formed beyond the first.
He settled her more firmly in his arms and turned her so he could look into her eyes. “Your father.”
Her sire? He had a hand in their survival? But was it not he who ordered their deaths to begin with? If he wished to save them, why cast them into the lake?
She ran her tongue across the top of her mouth, her mind pushing for more answers but her body too spent, her pain too great to fight for the words she sought.
Lorenz traced a finger across her brow, pushing sodden locks of hair from her face. Just as she had oft done to him when he was in her care.
She looked up and caught his gaze. His eyes. Oh, those eyes that had so captivated her when she first beheld them. They held her now. Softened along the corners and peered deep into her soul.
What did he see? Could he glimpse the depths to which her feelings for him had plunged? Or the confusion over her sire’s betrayal? The uncertainty of what her future now held for her? Questions churned in her middle, threatening to once again overwhelm her with sickness.
“In secret, your father pressed a blade into my hand by the lakeside and bestowed upon me your safekeeping henceforth.”
Her father? Was that what he had been doing instead of bidding her farewell?
Lorenz looked away, a vestige of doubt washing across his stalwart countenance. The knot in his throat bobbed. “I thought I had not proved myself worthy of such great a reward.” His regard returned to her and his voice quivered. “I thought I had lost you, my angel.”
The burning within her became a sweet ache. To have such a man gaze upon her as he did soothed the hurt that flowed through her. Though her muscles had been spent, she rallied her strength and lifted her hand. Pressed her palm against his cheek. “You could never lose me.” For though her father may have given her physical safekeeping to Lorenz, she had already bequeathed him her heart.
His gaze searched hers, swept over her as if to memorize her every feature, dipped to her mouth. His brows rose as if in question.
Did he seek to kiss her?
A new and pleasant thrill shot down her spine. She had never received a kiss before. She had witnessed them—ardently given by the landsknechte to the kampfrauen, shyly accepted by maidservants from stable hands. But a kiss herself? Never.
Overcome by a surge of timidity, her cheeks warmed, and she sought to conceal her gaze from him. He lifted her chin and peered down at her. From the moment of their introduction she could hide nothing from this man. That had not changed. In his gaze she read his heart and knew that he read hers as well.
Slowly his head descended, and she raised hers to meet him. Their lips touched ever so lightly, but just as her body had demanded to breathe when pressed under the water, it now demanded more of him. Upward she surged, timidity gone, and claimed with conviction the man the Lord had put in her path.
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Her chest squeezed, and that heat, oh, that blessed heat, burned through her limbs. Her breast ached for want of air, but then he was there, sharing his breath with her. His heart with her. His life with her. As ever he had done.
He cradled her head in his hands, treasuring her and making her feel like the princess she never would again be. But she did not need velvet gowns nor a comfortable bed in which to lay her head. All she required was what held her now. The arms of her Savior and those of the man she loved.
Slowly, as if reluctant to do so, Lorenz drew his head back and smiled. “Though I would like nothing more than to remain with you thus, I fear it would be unwise.” He cleared his throat. “On many fronts.”
Christyne’s lips tipped at the red hue tingeing her scholar’s ears.
He peered down the length of her. “How do you fare? Do you think you have the strength to carry on? It would behoove us to put as much distance between Heidelbraum and ourselves as we can as quickly as possible.”
She made an inventory of her person. Still her lungs did not fill with as much breath as they desired, and the path from her throat to her stomach burned. Lorenz was right, however. If even one person witnessed their escape from the lake from behind the waterfall then their reprieve would be brief. She did not wish to face the water’s grave a second time.
“Where will we go?” she asked. “To Waldshut?”
Lorenz’s face shuttered. “I am afraid even there is not safe. The Täuferjäger seem to be everywhere these days, hunting the Brethren.”
But Waldshut was where Peter, Katherine, and Bytzel were headed. If the city held not a modicum of safety, what would become of their friends?
The same as ever. What the Lord would will. She had to remind herself that their lives, as well as her own, were in God’s hands. Though He had the power to keep their feet from stumbling, there was also an eternal weight of glory in play. She would trust and submit and accept what He brought to their lives.
“If not Waldshut, then where?”
He eyed the north. “To the land of Schlesburg.”
“Clare’s hometown?”
“It is appropriate, do you not think, that both great princes have lost their daughters to the emperor’s decree, and yet now both will protect the other’s offspring?” He smiled at her. “Prince von Schlesburg’s defiance is already known because of Speyer, his allegiances brought to light. We will be as safe as we can be within his state.”
Christyne looked in the direction of Heidelbraum—the only place she had ever called home. Would she miss the familiarity of her life? Her father? And Clare, her new friend? Aye, she would.
She returned her gaze to Lorenz. This. Him. He was home now. And she would follow him anywhere God led. Even if, God help them, the heretic hunters caught up to them and finished what the lake could not do.
You have helped me save him once, Lord, and him, me. Now, together, I pray your protection over us as we endeavor to share Your truths with those shrouded in darkness.
Christyne slipped her hand into Lorenz’s. “God will grant me the valor I need for our journey, but mayhap I can draw upon your strength as well, my love.”
He caressed her with a look. “All that I have, all that I am, is now and forever will be yours.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Germany, Present Day
Ben slammed the side door of the second van with a resounding thud. Amber blinked. Had she missed Seth? Not possible since she’d been staring at everyone exiting the vehicle with bated breath. She hadn’t figured out what she would say to him yet, but her body hummed with a need to be near him. Maybe then the circuits in her brain would stop running at a million miles a second and she could settle down enough to actually think. Although, he usually made her feel more alive, not sated, so perhaps her logic was off.
Her gaze never wavered on the van door, but sheer power of will didn’t cause it to open and spit Seth out.
“Bereit?” Ben asked in an exuberant voice as he stood at front of the trailhead. Volunteers and kids alike cheered, an excited vibration thrumming through the air. Everyone had been anticipating the trip to the Black Forest for days, and now that they were here, they all seemed itching to explore.
Everyone but Seth.
“Amber? You ready?” Mila’s pixie hair was spiked and had a bandana tied around like a headband, a cute knot on top.
“Where’s Seth? Is he not coming?”
Mila’s mouth turned down in apology. “I am sorry. He had to leave yesterday. He tried to reach you, but you were with your brother.”
Leave? As in…leave? Not here but somewhere else, gone? But… “Is he coming back?”
Mila’s head swayed from side to side. “I am afraid not, sweet one. At least, not for the rest of this year. Next, perhaps.”
“Then…” Her thoughts refused to line up, whether in denial of his absence or rejection of the possibility this was the end, she didn’t know.
The last of the kids followed behind Ben on the trail, leaving Amber and Mila alone. Amber fixated on the gravel road they’d just traveled up to bring them to this trail. She stared, as if she had the vision to see past dense forests, across multiple countries, and over a body of water to a lonely soccer field thousands of miles away. She couldn’t see him, of course, but she could picture him, all lean muscles, his greatest strength found even deeper under the skin—his character. She’d never met a man quite like him, and she feared she never would again.
He’d said he’d wait. Did he mean it? Even though he was gone, was he still waiting for her? Or would he move on now? An ache spread across her breastbone.
“Then that’s the end?” She’d said their separation was for the best, them not being together in a romantic way, but that decision didn’t feel the best. In fact, she’d never felt worse in her life.
Mila touched her arm, bringing her back to the famous woods of Germany. “I think that is a question only you can answer.”
Amber blinked, wishing it were so. But she’d had her opportunity and squandered her chance. Even if she knew exactly what she’d say to Seth if he were here, he wasn’t. Moot point. “He’s gone.”
Mila’s eyes narrowed. “He has left. He is not dead.”
Amber knew that. But she also had responsibilities here. Mila and Ben needed her. The kids needed her. Especially now that Seth wasn’t here. She’d have to step up to coach. They had a big game coming up, and they were going to show the community just how resilient those kids could be.
“It is not difficult. Get on a plane and tell him what he already knows but longs to hear.”
But the kids. And his sister. His reputation. Her studies and career. All the reasons she’d given him, they—
Made absolutely no sense.
“What God has joined together, let no man separate.” A famous pronouncement at weddings, so why did it feel like a benediction over her soul? Had God brought them together? Taken them both on a journey of self-discovery, so they could better become one in the future?
A sharp and burning wind blasted through her mind. Swirling and twirling. And then settling with a blanket of peace and conviction.
As though molten metal cooled in her veins, resolve hardened. She had to go to him. Find him and tell him that she loved him too.
But… She turned to Mila. “What about the kids? The soccer program?”
“Fuβball. And Kayla is still here. She has agreed to take over for her brother.”
Amber stumbled at that little piece of news. “Kayla? The same Kayla who has refused to have anything to do with fuβball or her brother in years? That Kayla?”
“Do not sound so shocked.” Mila studied the trailhead. “But come, before we are left so far behind we cannot catch up.”
It didn’t take long to rejoin the group. Not when the kids stopped every few minutes to look in wide-eyed wonder at something new, like a spotted fawn hidden in the underbrush or a fairy-ring of mushrooms growing out of the damp soil.
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br /> When Yara started to complain about being tired, Amber swung her up and settled the little girl on her shoulders. “Did you know I grew up on stories that took place right here in this forest?”
Orhan peered up at her with round eyes. “You did?”
She nodded and looked around. The light filtering between the tree branches, the green moss growing on boulders and crawling its way up bark—this was the perfect backdrop for the imagination. She could see why the brothers Grimm had set many of their stories in this location.
“May we hear them?” Sonia asked.
A few kids glanced back with interest in their eyes as they continued to walk forward.
Amber smiled. She may not be able to leave them with much, but she could at least tell them a fantastical story to remember her by. “Once upon a time…”
Hansel and Gretel. Sleeping Beauty. Rapunzel. She spun tales until Ben held up his arm. “Lunch time.”
The kids yelled in jubilant agreement with this plan and settled onto fallen logs and boulders while Yasmin and Mila handed out large pretzels, apples, and sliced cheeses.
Amber bit into the salted soft dough with a sigh. So good. Her gaze snagged on Kayla standing off a ways. She grabbed another pretzel from Yasmin and walked over to Kayla, offering the twisted bread.
Kayla accepted the food with thanks, pinched off a piece, and stuffed it in her mouth. “I’m not going to apologize, if that’s what you think.”
Amber peered at her. While Kayla had lost some of her standoffishness, she wasn’t exactly what one would call approachable. More like hesitantly available. Someone testing out waters before plunging in.
“Apologize for what?” Amber asked.
Kayla rolled her eyes.
“If you’re referring to the things you stated the other day, then I see no reason why you would need to apologize. Everything you said is true.”
Kayla’s mouth pulled to the side as if waiting for the catch.
“It’s true. I haven’t lived your life. I don’t know what you’ve been through.” Amber turned to her. “Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t care.”