‘What do you want me to tell you?’
‘Talk about what happened in 1985.’
‘Certainly.’
The more Emil spoke to his son, the lighter he felt. The adage was true: secrets were the heaviest burden of all.
‘What next?’ asked Janne.
‘You can write about it.’
‘And after that?’
‘You’ve forbidden me from talking about it,’ said Emil. ‘I trust you’ll do what you think is for the best.’
Janne looked at him. Light streamed through the window. Emil was about to say something when the doorbell rang. He hadn’t invited anyone.
‘I did what I thought was for the best,’ said Janne.
Emil felt the decades gusting through him, felt everything he had learned and experienced pulling at him, the urge to stand up and prepare himself, position himself. He remained seated, though every cell in his body screamed for him to run, to retaliate. He allowed Janne to stand up and go to the door. Everything happened as though in a dream. The thought reminded him of the previous night, the first he could remember without nightmares. He’d woken up that morning feeling rested. It felt incredible.
Janne was at the door.
Emil still had a chance. His instincts were shouting, howling for action. His eyes made careful calculations of their own volition: the drawers in the kitchen, the knives, any loose objects, the toaster, the kettle, the heavy chopping board, even the chair where Janne had been sitting only a few seconds earlier. Everything could be used. He sat there, allowed his thoughts to ebb and flow, imagined himself using those objects. He was good at that. He had once been good at that. That was the difference that he stressed to himself once again. He heard footsteps.
He stood up, didn’t lunge for anything; just stood there and decided to succumb to everything that was about to happen.
‘Am I interrupting?’ asked Leena. ‘Have you had a chance to talk?’
Emil looked at her.
‘After a fashion,’ he heard Janne say.
Leena smiled.
‘Hello, Emil.’
‘Hello, Leena.’
‘I should have guessed.’
‘Guessed what?’
‘Where you lived.’
They looked at each other.
‘I think I’ll get going…’ said Janne.
Emil looked at him.
‘No.’
Both Leena and Janne looked at him. Emil realised that he was no longer guarded. Everything that happened from now on was what was destined to happen.
‘I mean … another coffee,’ he said, then turned to Leena. ‘Black, yes?’
He watched Leena take off her coat, watched as Janne took it from his mother’s shoulders and put it on a hanger; watched mother and son sit at the table and admired them as the light from outside framed them like a painting. He heard their voices but was unable to speak.
At moments like this it was best to act. He made more coffee, concentrated on the movement of his hands. When the coffee was ready, he poured it into cups and sat down at the table.
Acknowledgements
Thank you to friends in Stockholm; the Salomonsson Agency: it is an absolute pleasure to work with you. Special thanks to Federico Ambrosini, whose support has been unwavering and invaluable. I’m grateful and happy to be able to call him my agent.
Thank you to friends in London: Karen Sullivan and so many others. Karen, you are amazing.
Thank you to friends in Helsinki: so many and so dear. I couldn’t do this alone.
Thank you, Anu. I love you.
And, finally, thank you, Dad. This book is dedicated to you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Finnish Antti Tuomainen (b. 1971) was an award-winning copywriter when he made his literary debut in 2007. The critically acclaimed My Brother’s Keeper was published two years later. In 2011, Tuomainen’s third novel, The Healer, won ‘Best Finnish Crime Novel of 2011’ and was shortlisted for the Glass Key Award. The Finnish press labelled The Healer – the story of a writer desperately searching for his missing wife in a post-apocalyptic Helsinki – ‘unputdownable’. Two years later in 2013 they crowned Tuomainen ‘The King of Helsinki Noir’ when Dark as My Heart was published. With his piercing and evocative style, Tuomainen is one of the first to challenge the Scandinavian crime genre formula, and he is currently working on his seventh thriller. Follow him on Twitter @antti_tuomainen, on Facebook at facebook.com/AnttiTuomainenOFFICIAL or visit his website at www.anttituomainen.com.
ABOUT THE TRANSLATOR
David Hackston is a British translator of Finnish and Swedish literature and drama. Notable publications include The Dedalus Book of Finnish Fantasy, Maria Peura’s coming-of-age novel At the Edge of Light, Johanna Sinisalo’s eco-thriller Birdbrain, two crime novels by Matti Joensuu, and Kati Hiekkapelto’s Anna Fekete series (which currently includes The Hummingbird, The Defenceless and The Exiled). In 2007 he was awarded the Finnish State Prize for Translation. David is also a professional countertenor and a founding member of the English Vocal Consort of Helsinki. David has translated all three titles in the Anna Fekete series. Follow David on Twitter @Countertenorist.
Copyright
Orenda Books
16 Carson Road
West Dulwich
London SE21 8HU
www.orendabooks.co.uk
This Ebook edition published in the United Kingdom by Orenda Books 2016
Originally published in Finland by Like Kustannus Oy, as Kaivos 2015
Copyright © Antti Tuomainen 2015
English language translation copyright © David Hackston 2016
Antti Tuomainen has asserted his moral right to be indentified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any
form or by any means without the written permission of the publishers.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978-1-910633-54-0
Typeset in Garamond by MacGuru Ltd
Orenda Books is grateful for the financial support of FILI,
who provided a translation grant for this project.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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