by Helen Scott
After a moment silence my brain seemed to spring back into motion and I blurted, "So you want to date me and Jude?"
"This is much more complicated than I intended this discussion to get and also more public," Xavier said with a sigh. "Jude and I are hoping to date you just like Gaius and Noah and Bowie are, the only difference is we would like to date you together."
"But Jude doesn't even know me…"
"He might not know you but he knows me well enough to trust my judgment. I find you fascinating, not just intellectually but emotionally as well. Add to that the fact that you’re gorgeous and I'd be a fool not to be interested. I'm not asking you to jump into bed with us, just hang out with us and see if you're interested. We expect that you'll be doing the same with the others as well, and we're both okay with that."
"I'm going to need a while to think about this," I said, sinking back into the couch as my mind swam with possibilities, not only of good things but of all the ways I could fuck this up as well.
"Of course. There's no pressure, no rush. I know what's keeping me here and I choose every day not to resolve it because I want to stay with the family that I have created here. Gaius and Noah and Bowie and Jude are more than friends and a boyfriend to me. They’re my family, and since I have a choice as to whether or not I leave them this time I choose to stay, so you can rest assured that I will be here for as long as you need me."
I was beyond stunned. I felt overwhelmed by the amount that Xavier had just unloaded. He seemed to think that it wasn't all super serious, but to me each sentence he’d just uttered seemed like it needed to be unpacked and examined, and I didn't have time for that in that moment.
"I never thought I'd say this, but can we go back to talking about the serial killer? That seems easier than all is relationship stuff right now." I was taking the easy way out. I knew that, but I didn't care. There's only so much that I could process at one time and Xavier had officially pushed me over the edge.
18
Gaius
Out of all the things I had expected Xavier to say the fact that he knew what was keeping him here and was willingly choosing to ignore it was not something I ever would have predicted. I looked around the room and could see the tension shimmering in the air between us like heat coming off a tarmac. Slowly, one by one Xavier, Noah, and Bowie excused themselves and went to their rooms, presumably to think about what Xavier had just said. Avery had said she wanted to talk about the serial killer, but that just wasn't on the agenda when a bombshell like Xavier just dropped was out there.
I watched the woman across from me as she seemed to withdraw into herself. The fact that they had all left must have felt like a rejection or something based on the way she was acting, or not acting, as the case may be.
"You okay?" I asked unsure what to expect her answer to be considering everything that was going on in that moment.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just confused. I'm not sure which problem to tackle first. Well, I know which I should tackle first, but the one that is invading my thoughts is the other. You know I'm attracted to all of you, right?" She raised an eyebrow as she looked at me, challenging me, making me want to deny her obvious behavior and claim that I had no idea she was attracted to me just to see what she would say.
"Yeah, I figured since you were having an issue with us all flirting with you." I shrugged. If she was looking for an apology she wasn't going to get one. Just because I'm quieter than the others didn't mean that I wasn't willing to play the game, not that dating her was a game, but I wanted to win nonetheless.
"If you're also attracted to me why didn't any of you actually ask me out on a date?" she asked with a sigh.
The woman had a point. That would have been the normal thing to do. We should have asked her out on a date; maybe it wasn't too late for me. "Fear of rejection. Believe it or not rejection is just as scary in the afterlife as it is in the mortal realm. If I were to ask you out right now what would you say?"
She grinned. "Is that your way of asking me out without asking me out?"
"Would it work if it was?" I said, smiling back at her.
"Maybe, but I would still prefer the real thing."
I rose from where I had been sitting and turned to face her, dropping down on one knee like I was going to ask the most important question of my life. Her eyes went wide and her lips parted slightly as she watched me. Fear skated across her gaze and I knew she thought I was going to ask the craziest question I could. Sure, people in the afterlife could still choose to get “married,” but I wasn’t going to propose. We’d only known each other for a few weeks. Take a guy to dinner first, right?
I inhaled a deep breath and extended my hand. I wasn't sure whether she would trust me enough to put hers in mine, but when her delicate fingers connected with my rough, oversized paws I couldn't help but grin. "Avery Everly, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"
She chewed on her lower lip as she seemed to mentally debate my question. I held my breath hoping that this was just an act, her getting back at me for scaring her by dropping down on one knee. Finally, I saw a smile tug at the corner of her mouth.
"Gaius, shit I don't know your last name..."
I suppressed a laugh and supplied it. "Morton."
She took a deep breath and began again. "Gaius Morton, it would be my honor to go on a date with you, provided you will protect me from demons and serial killers."
"I like the caveat, good job." I felt stupid still perching on one knee, so I lowered the other one but kept ahold of her hand and dropped a kiss on it. "Can I pick you up in an hour? I can walk you back to your room if you’d like."
"Do I have to go back there?" She frowned, and I knew that the living situation with Rose was just getting worse.
"Only if you want to change."
She looked down at her current ensemble and frowned slightly. "If you could walk me back that would be great."
I pushed my feet and helped her stand from the couch, knowing how difficult the bucket seats could be to get out of. Our walk was pleasant; we spent most of it in a companionable silence. Part of me was desperate to know what she was thinking. Was she excited? Nervous? Thinking about changing her mind about the whole deal? My mind was spinning and throwing doubt at me whenever it could, but I pushed those thoughts away and focused on the feeling of Avery's hand in mine.
Avery
I could have sworn I had tried on most of the clothes in the closet before today, but when I went in and opened it once more I saw a whole row of new clothes just waiting for me to try them on. A girl could get used to her closet providing whatever she needs. If reincarnation was a thing then I'd only go if I could take the closet with me.
Dresses and leggings and t-shirts, oh my! Everything was there but nothing screamed casual and sexy first date. At least, not until I saw the cute little skater dress hiding at the back. When I picked it up I realized it wasn't a dress but a skirt with suspenders and straps on it. I slipped it on over my white, cropped t-shirt and immediately fell in love. The outfit was simple but made me feel like a million bucks, and who was I to say no to that?
After throwing on a little makeup I was good to go, but I paused at the door and listened. I really didn't want to run into Rose and her oh so pleasant conclusions about my life. When I didn't hear any movement on the other side of the door in the common area of the suite I walked out intending on making a quick exit. I should have known the silence was too good to be true. As soon as the door was open wide enough for me to leave my room I saw her there, just glaring at me.
"Off to whore yourself out again?" she asked with a smile that was as sharp as a knife.
"Yep, you know me, I've got to get some dick in this pussy at least once a day or I lose my whore membership card," I replied, reverting to sarcasm as my favorite way of dealing with trolls.
"Ugh, so vulgar. What has happened to the world?" Rose sighed and shook her head.
"We've let women evolve into beings that think fo
r themselves, and even make their own decisions. Crazy!"
"Clearly it's not working out if you're the result," she snipped.
"Well at least I don't need to depend on a man for everything," I fired back. After a pause but before she could yell at me any further I demanded, "What exactly did I do to make you dislike me from the word go?"
For a split second she looked at me like I'd surprised her before she schooled her features and her lip curled in a sneer. "As if I could ever like someone like you."
I sighed and shook my head. "You know what? Screw you and your poodle dress. You're a disgrace to women everywhere. It's because of people like you that women's rights took so long to come into being. Now, if you'll excuse me I have a date, one I might even fuck if I feel like it. I'm sure he’s talented enough to bring me to orgasm as well, not that you'd know what that feels like." Before she could respond I was out the door and into the hallway, running away from my room. It may as well have been the center of hell and she the devil incarnate.
The doors to the outside seemed to fly open in front of me as I hurtled down the stairs and ran into Gaius, sending the two of us sprawling. He let out a groan as he landed on his back in the grass.
"Oh, god, Gaius. I'm so sorry," I said as I stared down at him.
His blue eyes flickered open and his gaze met mine, a cheeky mirth dancing in them as he said, "Not how I imagined the first time you were on top of me, but we can work on it."
I couldn't help but grin as I swatted his shoulder and pushed myself up and off him, even though he felt delicious underneath me. After I dusted myself down, I glanced at where he still lay on the ground and saw him grinning up at me. I thrust my hand out to help him up.
Gaius took it, but instead of getting up he tugged and pulled me back down. I stumbled and landed on him hard enough that I knocked the breath from his lungs, but that was what he got for playing games. Before I knew what was happening he was rolling and taking me with him. Panic flared inside me and my body reacted, tensing and trying to protect itself.
The next thing I knew, thick, white fog seemed to explode out around us, and I felt weightless. Gaius's eyes went wide, and we tumbled over and around until I lost all sense of direction. When we landed on a floor with a bang I knew I had taken us somewhere. I didn't care if I randomly went places, but taking someone with me? I hadn't expected that. My heart clenched at the thought of seeing my mom grieving again, and for a moment I couldn't pull my eyes off Gaius, who was looking around in wonder.
It was only as I peered beyond him and saw the mustard colored carpet that I realized I had no idea where we were. I pushed off him and swept my gaze around the room. Rock band posters and movie posters were plastered all over the walls to the point that there was almost no free space whatsoever. A messy desk sat in the corner of the room next to a neatly made bed. Sketches and various forms of artwork seemed to be spilling off the work surface and onto the floor, but there was a layer of dust over everything that said no one had been in the room in a while.
I turned to ask Gaius if he knew where we were only to find him holding a photo frame. I couldn't see what was in it, but I was willing to bet this was somehow related to his death, just like my last trip had been related to mine.
"Your old room?" I asked softly, not wanting to startle him from his thoughts.
"Yeah," he said, his voice raspy with unshed tears.
My heart ached for him. Whoever he left behind after his death had preserved his room like a time capsule, one that they had eventually forgotten about. It was almost painful to see Gaius in this space. There were clearly so many memories assaulting him that he was hurting.
"Hey, why don't you tell me about some of this stuff?" I asked, gesturing toward the artwork.
He snorted. "Always loved drawing. I'd sketch everything and anything when I was stressed. I hate that I didn't finish this one," he said as he reached for the piece of paper on the center of the desk. When his hand passed through it instead of picking it up, we were both confused. "I was just holding a picture frame how can I not pick this up now?"
"Dude, I wish I knew," I said with a sigh. "The last time this happened I went to my old apartment and my mom was there crying to my roommate. She heard me but couldn't see me. It was super weird."
"This has happened before?" he asked, eyebrows almost touching his hairline they were so high.
"Wait, is this not usual? I figured this must happen to every ghost," I replied quietly, fear and dread fighting for dominance in my thoughts.
"No, not so much. I've never heard of white fog taking anyone else anywhere," he said with a shake of his head. He gave me a sideways glance that told me everything I needed to know about how freaked out he was even though he wasn’t acting like it.
"I wonder why we came here?" I asked, trying to change the subject now that I was a freak in the ghost world as well as the mortal one.
"Maybe because you were touching me? My mom had been on my mind all day, 'cause it's her birthday today," Gaius said, glancing over his shoulder at the door that led from the room. If we were in his house and his room was still kept exactly as he’d left it then there was a good chance his mom was still around too.
"We could see if we can open the door if you want?" I asked tentatively. I knew this would be hard for him, hell, it had been hard for me when it was my mom and we hadn't exactly had a great relationship. Something told me that Gaius and his mom had been close, and I hated to see him suffer, but maybe this was the closure he needed. The thought of him moving on from purgatory sent a pain straight through my heart. I didn't want him to go, but I also didn't want to be the one holding him back if he was ready to move on.
"That'd be nice," Gaius said after he swallowed thickly.
I walked over and tried to grip the door handle, only to find myself going straight through it. I reached back with my other hand and grabbed hold of Gaius as I stepped through the door, pulling him with me. We were in a tiny hallway that looked like it led to a living room of some kind.
When we exited the hallway I saw a woman sitting in a recliner, her face slack with sleep and her house dress stained with what looked like various foods or drinks. The bluish light from the TV made her features look bloated and swollen, and combined with the threadbare recliner and her stained clothes she appeared sad, more pitiful than anything else.
I glanced over at Gaius and saw his heartbreak written on his face as plain as day. There was nothing that stung quite like seeing a parent that was hurting, and it was clear from the way this woman had let herself go that something was very wrong.
Gaius let go of me as he approached his mother. His hand lifted and ghosted through her thin, white hair and down the side of her crepey face coming to rest on her shoulder. She stirred slightly in her sleep and her eyes flickered open. Her pupils were no longer black, but had turned a milky white with what looked like advanced cataracts.
“Holly? That you?” her croaky voice sounded.
“Holly is my baby sister. She was no more than eighteen months when I died,” Gaius said, sounding choked up.
“Your mom must have been pretty young when she had you then?” I asked as we watched his mother’s head tilt back and forth, trying to catch sounds that she couldn’t quite hear.
“Yeah, I was a mistake, as my father always liked to remind me, but she loved me just the same as if I had been hoped and prayed for. Dad split after college and it was just my mom and me for a long time. Then she met someone and wound up pregnant with Holly. He split when she told him about the pregnancy. She had terrible taste in men apparently. I think it’s why she always taught me that I should be the ultimate gentleman when I was with a woman.” Gaius’s voice petered out as he spoke. There were too many memories popping up for him to voice them all.
When his mother didn’t hear a reply she closed her eyes again and resettled into her chair. Sleep washed over her a few moments later while Gaius sat like a silent guard at her knees. A crackle sounded b
ehind us and I turned to see the swirling hole from when I saw my mother in front of me. I knew in a minute it would suck us toward it, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, to break this moment between Gaius and his mother.
When the wind started whipping my hair I expected to be forced back toward the portal, for lack of a better word, but it never happened. Instead I watched as the Arbiter walked through and appeared next to me in his white suit. Shock bloomed on his features as he took in the scene before him, and just as quickly as it had appeared it disappeared under a neutral mask.
“What are you two doing here?” the Arbiter asked in that monotone way of his. The surprise I’d seen wasn’t completely gone from his face like he thought, and there was a sadness and anger in his gaze that I didn’t understand. It made me want to hide the truth from him, made me question how much I could trust him, but he would also be the only one with any answers, so I was stuck deciding between trusting him, or not.
19
Avery
The Arbiter and I stared at each other for a long moment. It was Gaius who eventually broke the silence.
“Hey dude!” he replied much too brightly. After running his hand through his hair Gaius continued trying to break the awkward stare down between me and the Arbiter. “We, uh... Well, it’s a funny story—”
“White fog,” I said, interrupting Gaius’s floundering. “It was white fog or smoke or whatever you want to call it and it swallowed us up and brought us here.” I was taking the leap and trusting this strange entity. Yes, entity, because there was no way in hell the Arbiter was ever human, not with how cold and detached he was.