The thought of feeling this hot, silken hole yield and take my dick was almost more than I could bear, but I’d suffer it happily as long as I could watch the erotic pleasure on her face as she softened and flexed and rocked against me.
But soon it wasn’t enough for either of us, the frenzied movements of her hips demanding more and my cock leaking clear drops of fluid as I watched her ass bounce and rock as she took a part of me in a place where she’d allowed no other.
When I stopped, she groaned and swore at me. I left her, bent over and quivering, while I went to wash my hands and get a condom, then came back and flipped her onto her back and lifted her legs into the air, hooking them over my elbows.
Her eyes widened as I pressed against her, then she jolted and shouted as I filled her, hard, fast and completely.
“Casper!”
I surged in and leaned over her, watching as her lashes fluttered and she shuddered, convulsing around me. “I want to fill you so completely, you feel me in every part of you.”
“I think you succeeded.” Her cunt tightened around me, a slow milking contraction that had my balls drawing in tight.
“It’s not enough.” I scooped her and rose, pacing over to the wall, once more hooking her knees over my arms. “This isn’t enough.”
But it was all I’d ever have.
“We’ll make it enough.” She pulled me close and kissed me.
I wanted to tell her she couldn’t.
But the urgency was too strong. She flexed and tightened around me again and my cock ached and swelled and my control was shattered. Thrusting into the wet, snug glove of her body, I buried my face against her neck and she clung to me.
The orgasm grabbed both of us, slamming into us without mercy. I drove into her and she raked her nails down my shoulder, biting my lip as she writhed against me. I gripped her, hard and tight, forgetting about the soft satin of her skin, lost to everything but the strength of her passion and the certain, sure grip of her arms as she held on, steadying me.
Emptied, drained, I pushed away from the wall and staggered a step or two before I steadied myself.
I managed to make it to the bed and spill both of us onto it.
She was the one who snagged the covers and pulled them over us.
“It’s not going to be enough, Tia,” I said.
I didn’t even know what I was talking about.
But she didn’t question me.
She curled in closer and wrapped her arm around my waist. “We can make it enough. We just have to trust that we can do that.”
“I don’t know how to trust. And you shouldn’t trust me.”
She kissed my chest and pressed her fingers to my lips. “Go to sleep, scary, spooky, mean Spectre. You sound punch-drunk.”
Chapter 20
Tia
We both slept but I woke up well before he did. It was weird, lying there next to him without him rousing. I had a feeling it wasn’t normal for him to lie there lost in sleep while somebody else lay next to him.
Was it a sign of trust?
Or just exhaustion?
I lay there, thinking about it until my head hurt, and then something else took center stage—my bladder. I had to pee. Shifting in the bed, I eyed the bathroom. Casper stirred.
“I need to go pee,” I told him, not bothering to whisper. My gut told me that trying to sneak or be quiet around a guy who lived and died by violence wasn’t the smartest move.
His eyes opened. There was no gradual awakening for him. He went from asleep to instant alertness and I was glad I hadn’t tried to slip out of the bed. “You know where the bathroom is,” he said.
His voice was back to that neutral tone.
“Yeah, but you were asleep. I’ve got a feeling you’re not used to having somebody moving around in the bed with you when you’re not awake.”
To my surprise, a faint smile curled his lips. “No. I’m not.” He cupped my face in his hand, brushing his thumb over my lip. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, Tia. None of this.”
“What?” I gave him a deadpan look. “You mean after you got that call from Tommy and laid eyes on my rocking bod, you didn’t instantly decide that you and me were going to twist up the sheets every chance we got?”
“I never expect that smart-ass sense of humor to make an appearance. I don’t know why, but it always hits me as a surprise.”
Grinning at him, I bent over and kissed his nose. “It took me a while to figure out how to make jokes but I do have a sense of humor, you know.”
“I know that.” He stroked my face again. “I never doubted it. It’s just...surprising when it slips out. I thought you had to go to the bathroom.”
“I do. I just like talking to you. I don’t always like taking to people.”
His lashes drooped, concealing his gaze once more. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Because the panging in my bladder had grown insistent, I hopped up and rushed off to take care of business. The soap left my hands feeling itchy so I dug through the toiletry case for my lotion. A pink bottle caught my eye and I went still, thinking back to what I’d told him earlier—and what he’d told me.
I’d told him to trust me.
I don’t know how to trust. And you shouldn’t trust me.
He’d mentioned trust to me one other time. Granted, it had been about something completely different, but was it really? I put the bottle down, cheeks heating just thinking of it. It was a crazy idea. I wanted him to trust me enough to take some sort of chance with me.
A chance at what? I asked as I put lotion on my hands, taking far more time with the task than necessary.
He’d already made it clear that a life together wasn’t going to happen.
And it wasn’t like we could stay here.
My brother was already frantic. Bianca must be, too.
I had a life. It had taken me a long while to build that life and I loved it.
Yet the idea of leaving him behind left an almost visceral pain in me. Did I love him?
You can’t love him. You barely know him.
And it was true.
But maybe I could love him. Warmth settled in my chest. It was a comfortable kind of thing, too. Like I’d found the answer I’d been looking for. Sensing Logical Tia had something to say, I braced myself for the argument.
You won’t be able to talk him into it, sweetie, she said, almost sadly. He already said he didn’t know how to trust.
Looking into the mirror, I met my gaze.
“Then we’ll teach him,” I said quietly.
I hadn’t always known how to trust, either. But I’d figured it out. There was no reason he couldn’t do the same.
It hit me, then, that there might be reason why I felt so...comfortable with him. Even safe, when that was the last thing I should feel.
I saw parts of me within him.
I’d glimpsed it in the long drive here, when I first realized he was lonely, and during the odd comments he’d let slip about his childhood, which clearly had been far more screwed up than my own.
We could fit...somehow. I just had to make him see it.
Now I had to figure out the next thing.
How did I seduce the deadly guy in the room out there, and just how I should I go about telling him I was ready to let him try to fuck me in the ass?
After all, he’d told me it would take trust and if that was a way to show him that I could trust him, maybe it would help him learn to trust me.
“This sounds crazy, Tia.”
Logical Tia agreed silently.
But both of us were a little excited, just thinking about it.
Excited, and maybe a little nervous. Okay. A lot nervous. I thought about trying to sneak out and see if I could get his phone, research a bit. Or maybe I could talk him into letting me online. He had access. I knew he did. If I could just—
Stop stalling. It was surprising to hear Logical Tia urging me on, but maybe Logical Tia was just smarter or braver
than I was.
I’m part of you, weirdo. Now get out there.
FIVE MINUTES LATER, I did just that. I didn’t consider the extra five minutes stalling. I wanted to brush my teeth, then I decided since I’d done that, I should wash my face and maybe put lotion on all over. He seemed to like how I smelled and then it dawned on me that he might try to do other stuff, which made me think I should probably wash up some.
This seduction thing required way too much thought and preparation. It also allowed way too much time to think and I didn’t want to chicken out, so instead, I thought back over all things he’d done to me so far...and how much I’d enjoyed, it, all of it.
Every single bit.
By the time I’d finished washing my hands—again—and putting lotion on them—again, I was already wet and aching. Earlier, he’d slicked back the juices from my pussy to lubricate his way as he fucked his fingers into my butt and I had no doubt I was wet enough for that now and he hadn’t even touched me.
It was crazy the things he’d done to me, how he’d changed so much of...well, everything, and in such a short time.
Now I just needed to make him see that we could change things even more.
Hell, I hated change. If I could handle this, he should be able to do the same.
Squaring my shoulders and holding the bottle in my hand but cupped so he couldn’t see it, I left the bedroom.
Instantly, I deflated.
He wasn’t in the bed.
“Took too long,” I mumbled.
“For what?”
Yelping, I turned and found him standing near the doorway of the large closet, wearing yet another pair of loose-fitting workout pants, this pair in black. He wasn’t wearing underwear, either. That ought to be a crime, really. But then again, maybe the real crime was when he covered up that body, that ass. That cock.
“What took too long?” he asked again.
“Um...” Focusing, I recalled what I’d been grumbling about. With a sheepish shrug, I said, “Me. I took too long. I was planning on coming out and seducing you. Or trying to. But you’re out of bed. And wearing pants.”
His gaze slid down my body, lingering on my naked breasts, before moving lower. “Would you rather I be naked?”
“Always.”
His dark-gold brows shot up at that, amusement tugging at the corners of his mouth.
“Well, maybe not always. You’d get arrested—or mobbed—if you went out in public naked. But while you’re here with me...” I bit my lip and stroked over him with my gaze. My breath caught when I realized he’d grown erect. “You’re hard.”
“You’re standing there naked. You told me you wanted to seduce me. And you’re staring at me like you can’t wait to start.” He had a shirt in one hand, but with those final words, he lowered his fist and uncurled his fingers, letting the material fall to the floor. “Yes, I’m hard. You’re so blunt. I don’t know quite what to make of it sometimes.”
Uncertainty flickered inside. Biting my lip, I glanced away from him and decided I’d feel better in the bed. Somehow, I’d managed to keep the bottle in my hand hidden but my nerves had just jacked up, which meant I was likely to drop it, because I got clumsy when I was nervous.
Hurrying over to the bed, I slipped under the sheets, tucking the bottle in next to my thigh so it stayed out of sight.
Casper had prowled closer, his gaze probing.
“Does it bother you?” I asked him. There were still so many social cues I didn’t get, didn’t understand, and I’d come to accept I might never really get all of them. No, I wasn’t going to go talking about his dick being hard in public, but was it wrong to mention it to him?
“Why would it bother me?” He slid onto the foot of the bed, crawling across the massive expanse until he’d straddled my legs to kneel above me, face just a few breaths from mine.
“I...well. It bothers some people.” Feeling defensive, I said, “I can’t help it. Not all the time. I’ve got Asperger’s. I’m...different, okay? A lot of people think I’m weird and I guess I am to them. Neuro-atypical is one of popular words. My brain doesn’t work like others do.” Fisting my hands in the sheets, I looked away from him only to find my eyes returning, trying to see how my words affected him. “I’m not broken or wrong or anything.”
“No.” He dipped his head and nuzzled my curls, nothing but tenderness in the gesture. “You’re definitely not broken or wrong.”
The first around my chest eased...a little. But it was enough that I had the courage to keep going. “It’s taken a long time, but I’m comfortable with who I am. But some people can’t deal with it. I don’t have the sort of filter a lot of people have, so I say weird things, I blurt things out that make people uncomfortable. I didn’t even get diagnosed until I was seventeen and I never could figure out why I had a hard time making friends or why people didn’t want to talk to me. My thoughts are a mess sometimes and it’s like I can’t even keep up with myself. I can be awkward and I—”
His mouth closed over mine.
It was the gentlest kiss I’d ever experienced.
Not just from him, but ever.
It was like a blessing, a balm, a promise, all in one. His tongue traced along the curve of my lips slowly, as if he wanted to memorize their shape, their feel, their taste. Swaying closer, I reached for him just as he broke contact.
“You’re not weird. You’re funny, you’re kind, you’re mouthy and brave and gentle and amazing. You’re you and you’re perfect.”
Tears burned my eyes as he lifted up.
“The next time you call yourself a monster,” I told him. “I’m punching you.”
A rusty sound escaped his throat, one that took a moment to place.
“Wow. You know how to laugh.” Curling my arms around his neck, I urged him to come with me as I lay back. He followed me down, weight braced on his elbows.
“I rarely have reason.” A shadow fell across his eyes.
I’ll give you all kinds of reasons. I wanted to tell him that. But I almost felt like I was dealing with Valkyrie at the shelter, only he was far more leery than she’d been. Unwilling to trust, unwilling to yield.
That’s fine, I told myself. I’m stubborn. I’ll wait him out.
I nudged his shoulders. “Roll over. I’m supposed to be doing the seducing, remember?”
The resistance I’d half-expected didn’t come and he went willingly. The bottle moved along with us, still unnoticed by him. I caught his wrists and pushed them up over his head, a heady sort of power rushing through me as he followed the silent command.
“What would you let me do?” I asked, holding his wrists in place as I bent over him.
“Does it involve you naked in bed with me?”
“Yes.” I licked his lips, the way he seemed to like to do to mine. I know I enjoyed being on the receiving end of that.
He responded with a shaky breath, opening his mouth.
But I didn’t kiss him, just waited for an answer.
“I think I’d let you do anything you wanted, Tia.” A line appeared between his brows as he said it, followed by a faint smile. “I’ve never let a woman on top of me like this before, never let anybody even try to restrain me.”
Something dark flitted through his green eyes then. I didn’t want to think about what might have caused it and I wouldn’t ask. But it made my belly hurt.
I went to let his wrists go but he laced our fingers together. “I said I’d let you do anything. I meant it,” he told me as he rocked his hips upward, letting me feel the full, heavy length of his cock. “Does it feel like I’m not enjoying this?”
“Oh, I’d say you’re enjoying it.” I shuddered as he pulsed against me, the thin cotton the only barrier between us. I rolled my hips against him, the sensation intensely erotic. “You feel amazing. Your cock is...wow.”
“It will feel better inside you.”
The heated promise in his voice was almost enough to make me forget my goal.
But...no
t quite.
Tugging my fingers from his, I trailed them down his wrists, along the skin on the inner area, to his elbows and upward to the sensitive skin exposed under his arms before gliding on to his chest. There, I pinched his nipples. He grunted and rocked under me.
My clit throbbed, my pussy clenched.
“What would you do to me...if I asked?” I whispered to him, my voice almost unrecognizable.
His gaze locked on my mouth for long seconds before he finally looked up and met my eyes. The green was so hot, it seemed to glow. “If it’s something that you want, that will bring you pleasure...you need only ask.”
“And if it brings you pleasure?”
“Your pleasure is my pleasure.”
“Put your hands on me, Casper,” I said, a red haze of lust gripping me, ensnaring me. It was going to drown me and drag me under, I knew it.
He sat up, the muscles in his belly contracting in a powerful display that would have been distracting if he hadn’t cupped my breasts in his hands a second later, plumping them together and pinching my nipples.
“More.”
He obeyed, squeezing harder until pleasure and pain blurred. I covered his hands with mine, rocking feverishly. The contact wasn’t enough and I wiggled and shifted until I could wrap my legs around him and grind against him. He rolled forward, spilling me onto my back and I whimpered at the loss of contact, but stopped once I saw what he was doing. He stripped out of his workout pants, his thick, heavy cock springing forward.
Running my gaze over him, I shivered, hardly able to believe the sheer beauty of him. My eyes fell on the fresh wound on his thigh and the heat inside started to fade. “Your leg...”
“It’s nothing.” Then an odd smile curved his lips. “No. That’s not right. It’s the only mark on me that means anything—it’s your mark and I treasure it.”
“I...” Shaking my head, I stared at him, not sure what to say.
Then he kissed me and thoughts of speech faded.
He moved closer and I shifted my legs wider to accommodate him.
Cool plastic brushed my leg.
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