I shuddered, feeling like I was seeing it anew as I told her.
“Do you feel like you’re submitting to me, Tia?”
“I feel like I’m being tortured! Move, Casper...please!”
I did, slowly.
“I feel like you’re the one in control, precious. Like you’re holding the reins.” Gripping her hips, I braced myself for the ugly black rage, but it didn’t come. “Why doesn’t that bother me?”
“If I was holding the reins, I’d be coming by now.” She moaned and flexed around me, squeezing, milking, while her hands opened, fingers seeking, reaching.
“This isn’t enough,” I muttered.
“What...?”
I shook my head, not thinking that she wouldn’t see. Sinking down on top of her, I stretched out, bearing her weight until she was flat on the bed, then I rolled us half onto our sides.
Now I could feel more of her. I wasn’t as deep, but it didn’t matter. She whimpered and rocked, a mewl escaping her. Rising onto my elbow, I looked down as she twisted her upper body so we could see each other.
Now it was enough.
Gazes locked, I started to move.
Tia’s mouth opened on a gasp.
I reached down, seeking out the slick heat between her thighs. Her lashes fluttered as I thrust into her, cock and fingers, filling her, ass and pussy.
“Better?”
“Yes...no...I don’t know...what are you doing to me?” she whispered, staring at me with lust-fogged, hungry eyes. “I need more.”
“I’ll give it to you.” I shifted again, sliding a hand under her hip as I moved my own, filling her more fully as her mouth parted on a gasp.
Her neck arched, eyes widening as I did it again, and again.
“Yes...please...oh, fuck, Casper! More, more, more...oh!”
Each word shoved me higher and the urge to rut on her like a madman grew stronger every second. I pushed onto my knees, grabbing her thigh and bringing it up a few inches. At the same time, I shifted position, straddling her lower leg.
With my leverage increased, I searched her face, watching her for signs that I was causing her pain, but there was nothing but her moans and cries, her breasts lifted and arched up, nipples so swollen my mouth watered just looking at them.
My only lover...
The slick wet heat from her cunt flowed out, coating my dick and balls, easing my passage even more.
Her eyes were glassy, mouth parted.
“Cas...” she gasped.
Pinpricks of sensation raced down my spine but I lashed my climax down, fighting it back tooth and nail.
On the next stroke, she started shuddering. “Please,” she whispered, staring up at me blindly. “It’s not... I want to come so bad, but it’s not enough.”
Mouth watering, I slid my hand down her thigh until I found her wet, waiting cunt. “You’re so juicy and wet for me, Tia...” I plunged two fingers into the wet well of her pussy and she clenched down, crying out.
“Spank it,” she begged, voice barely intelligible.
I did and a split second later, her body locked up in climax and she started to pulse and twist and moan, working herself on my dick, squeezing, clenching.
I bent lower and slammed into her, caution and control gone.
She cried out my name, begged for more.
And I kept moving, kept fucking her, kept riding her through her broken moans until the orgasm slammed into me with devastating intensity.
SHOWERED YET AGAIN, the two of us lay in bed a half hour later. I’d gone downstairs to put Valkyrie out just moments earlier after Tia noticed the dog giving us an exasperated look from the doorway.
“She probably thinks sex is silly, especially since we haven’t put her out much today,” Tia said now, resting her head on my chest.
I covered her hand with mine, not responding.
There wasn’t much to say, but I wanted her to keep talking. The sound of her voice centered me. It did a lot of other nice things, too—soothed and relaxed me.
“Hey.”
She pulled her hand from mine and I flinched when she poked me in the side unexpectedly. Her eyes widened and she jerked upright so suddenly, it was as if she was pulled by springs.
“Are you ticklish?”
“No.” I didn’t think I was. But how would I know?
Tia dragged her nails down my side and I flinched again, grabbing her wrist.
“You are, too! Liar!”
She went to poke at my other side. Swearing, I moved and twisted, pinning her under me. My heart raced like it had never done before.
“I didn’t lie,” I said as an unfamiliar twist tugged at my lips. This lighthearted sensation she brought with her, the heat, the humor...how would I live without it when she was gone? “I didn’t have a life where my father played games or tickled me.”
Her face softened. “Let my hands go, scary Spectre. I’ll play games with you.”
I pushed my knee between her thighs. “There are better games to play.”
“Yes...” Her eyes went smoky.
I rubbed against her but didn’t enter her.
She wiggled around, then hooked her thighs around my hips, arching up.
Still, I held back. “I’m not wearing a condom.”
“So? You didn’t wear one when you fucked my ass earlier, either.”
Heat rushed to my face. It took a moment to realize that I was blushing. “No. I didn’t. I’m clean. I have a test after every visit to the brothel. I should have said something, though. I should have asked.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I’m selfish and I wanted to have you yield and feel nothing between us.”
A slow smile bloomed over her lips. “Then do it now.”
I swallowed, hard. “There are other concerns if I’m going to take you like this, precious.”
“No. I told you. I have an IUD. I won’t get pregnant. And I want to have you inside me...no barriers. I want you—all of you, everything.”
It was stupid and careless...and I didn’t care. If she wanted me like this, then she’d have me. I’d given her every piece of myself that I could—while I could.
Rising onto my knees, I caught her thighs, pushing them high and wide. Then, staring down at her flushed face, I tucked the head of my cock against the naked, wet heart of her.
The first kiss of her pussy almost left my eyes crossed, she felt so good.
I sank in slowly, determined to commit every bit of this to memory, the expressions on her face, the scent of our bodies, the way her nails bit into my skin.
“More...” She moaned, trying to move against me.
I had her butt lifted for my claiming, though, and she could do little more than wiggle.
Or so I thought.
She closed around me in an internal caress, milking me.
I stiffened and the tensing of my muscles had me sinking deeper.
She groaned and slammed her head back against the mattress. “Yes...just like...no, don’t pull...oh!”
I drove home, her slick cunt too much temptation to ignore.
She curled her arms and legs around me and I rolled onto my back, gripping her tightly as I fucked my way into her tight, wet pussy.
It was fast, wet and messy and we were sweating by the time we climaxed, our moans mingling.
“You’ve driven me insane,” I said against her lips.
It wasn’t until I slid my mouth upward and tasted tears that I realized she was crying.
“Tia?” Panic filled me.
She clutched at my shoulders and shook her head. “Don’t...I’m...” she hiccupped. “It’s—it’s just me, okay? I’m feeling a whole hell of a lot right now and sometimes...it’s just a lot, okay?”
“I didn’t hurt you?”
Her balled-up fist hit me on the hip and she gave a laugh that just as much sob as anything else. “No. Would you...just hold me a while, okay? I’m tired.”
“All right.” I withdrew
and pulled her into my arms, tucking her back against my chest and holding her close. She shifted, wiggled, then sighed. After a few hiccupping breaths, she dropped straight into sleep.
I listened to the sound of her soft, steady breaths as I stared into the night.
I’m feeling a whole hell of a lot right now...
Yes, I understood that. Too well, in fact.
She’d done more than driven me insane.
Somehow, in the mere days since I’d first laid eyes on her, she’d done something I would have thought impossible.
My entire life, I’d lived an existence where I felt like I was masquerading as a person, wearing the mask of a human to conceal the monster my father had created. I’d never experienced the emotions I saw in others—happiness, pride, love. No, all my emotions were dark, ugly twisted shadows.
But Tia had made me laugh, had made me smile.
And she made me want. Not just sex, although for the first time, the act was about more than just a release.
No...Tia made me want everything.
She even made me want to trust her.
Chapter 24
Tia
I woke up smelling of sex and Casper and I smiled as I rolled onto my back, arms reaching overhead as I stretched.
Something cold poked my foot and I pushed up onto my elbows to see Valkyrie watching me balefully.
“Life’s weird,” I told her.
A week ago, I didn’t have a dog, a lover or a clue that somebody wanted to kill me because my brother had done his job as a cop.
Now, all three of those things were true and here I was, breathing in the scent of the man who’d kidnapped me, flipped my world upside down...and told me I was the only lover he’d ever had. Ever would have.
“We’re talking,” I told Valkyrie. “That man and I? We’re talking.”
The house was strangely quiet, but not empty. As I pulled on a shirt—his—I could feel him, as if he were waiting for me.
A big, empty ache settled inside and I swallowed around the knot that had formed in my throat. I wanted to run and hide.
I found him on the front porch, four large black duffels lined up in a neat row. He sat on the top step, staring at the SUV. He didn’t look up as I sat down next to him, although he was every bit as aware of me as I was of him.
“You’re leaving,” I said quietly.
“We both know I have to. There are things that need to be done before you’ll be safe.” He didn’t look away from the SUV. “Until those things are done, you can’t go back to your life, Tia. And you deserve to have that life, one where you’re safe and happy.”
Instead of answering that specifically, I said, “If it wasn’t for my brother and Bianca, I could almost see myself having a happy one here.”
I didn’t look at him as I spoke.
But from the corner of my eye, I could see his reaction.
He’d finally moved, turning his head so he stared out over the eastern sky as the sun crept up over the horizon. “You should take care with what you say, precious. I don’t give a damn about your brother or your friend. I could see myself keeping you here, even when this is all said and done. So don’t tempt me.”
“That you even admit you want to be with me is something.” I leaned into him, closing my eyes against the knot in my chest. “Tell me you’re not just going to completely disappear once this is over, Casper.”
He was quiet for so long, I thought that was the answer—one I dreaded, one I hated.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to breathe around the ache spreading through my chest and that just made it worse, like the very act of drawing in air, something necessary for life, exacerbated this visceral agony.
He turned his head and I shuddered as he buried his face in my hair, breathing me in.
“You know how impossible this is,” he said, voice strangely gentle. “You have a family—your brother and your friend—people who love you. You have a job that brings you joy. You have a life. Where would I fit into any of that?”
Desperation shoved me into motion and I went to my knees in front of him, pushing my way between his thighs and grabbing his face in my hands.
That beautiful face.
That hard face.
“Exactly where we put you,” I said stubbornly. “Where do you want to fit into it?”
He covered my hands with his. “That’s just it, precious. I can’t fit into it. Consider what I am, Tia.”
My mouth started to tremble and I pressed my lips together. “I know what you are. And don’t tell me you’re a monster. You’re not a monster. If you were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. A monster wouldn’t care.”
“Perhaps I’m not the monster I thought I was. But that doesn’t change what I am.” He arched a dark gold brow. “A killer. A murderer. I’ve killed people on six continents, in more than eighty countries. I never bothered counting, but I keep excellent records and I could give you a number if it would make it easier for you to understand.”
A hard knot settled in my belly.
“You didn’t kill me,” I said, my breath catching in my throat as my control threatened to break.
His lashes swept down, hiding his eyes for a long moment, then he looked at me again. “It doesn’t change the fact that I have blood on my hands. And I don’t feel guilt over the lives I’ve taken.”
A tear spilled out.
He brushed his lips over my cheek, catching the wet drop.
“How would you explain me to your brother, this cop who has led a Boy Scout’s life?”
I went to wrench away from him.
His hands fell away but I stumbled and lost my balance and he caught me, steadying me.
“You understand now, don’t you?” he said after I smacked off his hands and stormed away, standing at the far edge of the gravel walkway.
“I don’t care what my brother thinks about you,” I said.
But I heard the lie in my own voice.
So did he.
“I won’t bring pain into your life, Tia.”
“You leaving it will bring pain, you bastard,” I said, spinning around to glare at him. “If you don’t want to bring me pain, find a way to make this work!”
He bowed his head, staring at the ground. “I can’t change who I am.”
“I don’t want you to change.” And I didn’t. Somehow, I’d fallen for this scary, dangerous man. Scary, spooky Spectre...and I wanted him just the way he was.
And yet...
He lifted his head a fraction, staring at me through the veil of his lashes. “When I disappear for three weeks at a time and come back to you, when I slide between your sheets and press my body to yours, will it not bother you, thinking about where I’ve been, what I did...who I killed?”
“Stop.” More tears fell now and I dashed them away, angry now on top of the misery. “Damn you, just stop.”
“That is who I am, Tia. You cannot tell me you don’t want me to change without considering what it is you’d be getting into if I was foolish enough to do this.” He rose, the movement fluid and graceful.
I went rigid as he came toward me, his eyes pinning me in place. “And I’m tempted. More than you know, more than I even realized I could be tempted. But what will you tell your brother? How will your brother, this good, decent cop, react to the knowledge that his beloved sister is involved with a killer wanted by law enforcement agencies across the globe?”
“It’s not like I plan on telling him,” I muttered.
“He’ll know,” Casper said simply. “And you know that.”
I did.
“Damn you.” This time, it almost choked me and more tears fell, blinding me. I wiped them away but it didn’t matter because a river of them continued to rain down. “Why can’t you make this work?”
He reached for me.
I shoved him and his hands fell away. The anger exploded and I swung out. He didn’t even try to move, his head snapping back as my fist smashed into his mouth. Then
I grabbed him and pulled his head down to mine. “I’m sorry...I’m sorry...”
He wrapped his arms around me and let me kiss the small, bleeding cut and when I started crying again, he picked me up and carried me into the house, sitting on the couch with my head tucked under his chin.
He said nothing.
Perhaps there was nothing left to say.
His fingers stroked through my hair and after a while, exhausted by the emotional storm, I fell asleep.
When I woke, he was gone.
And I knew he wasn’t just outside.
A piece of paper, folded and propped up, with my name written in elegant, neat script, waited on the simple table a few feet in front of me.
Valkyrie lay curled next to me on the couch, as if she’d known I’d need her.
Burying my face in her fur, I willed my mind to empty of anything and everything.
If I didn’t think, I wouldn’t hurt.
Chapter 25
Spectre
Nine days had passed since I’d left Tia sleeping on my couch.
Nine long, empty days.
I’d never considered just how long and empty the hours of the day could be until I’d driven away from her.
Leo had arrived at the cabin twelve hours after I’d left and had sent me a few updates. She was angry with me and wanted to get the hell off my mountain, he’d told me in no uncertain terms. He’d taken the precaution of sealing the keys in the weapons vault, which she couldn’t access. Yet I wouldn’t be surprised if I soon received a message that he’d had to track her down after she decided to attempt walking.
I had one more name on my list to eliminate before I’d breathe easy, knowing she was safe.
Over the past three days, I’d killed the three men who made up the top echelon of Tommy O’Holloran’s elite. This morning, I’d called him and told him he was next.
He’d reacted as expected, exploding into a fit of vitriol and rage, promising to hunt me down, piss down my throat after he tore it open and perhaps use my skull to bash Tia’s head in.
I waited until he was done before telling him that I’d be emptying his bank accounts as well, since I’d paid a visit to his accountant.
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