He straightens himself out as I hastily get to my feet and dart behind Slade. His hand flies to his back and I latch onto it with everything I’ve got as I cower behind him, desperate for this nightmare to be over.
My eyes are wide and wild, terrified and ferocious. My breath comes in rapid movements and I know that one slight movement from Lucien could have me spiraling down into a destructive meltdown.
Lucien finally rights himself as he studies me with Slade. “What’s this?” he questions, his eyes narrowing curiously, bringing his eyes back to Slade. “When you didn’t respond to my demands, I had no idea it was because you decided to keep the prize for yourself.”
Every muscle in Slade’s body tightens and I don’t doubt that he’s doing everything within his power to control himself and to not lash out. After all, Lucien plays dirty and I don’t doubt that somewhere in that suit he has a gun, loaded and ready to use on my man.
Lucien takes another step forward, slow and intimidating and while I’m about ready to pass out from fear, Slade only appears to be getting stronger. “She’s good, isn’t she?” Lucien laughs, desperately trying to get a reaction out of Slade. “Nice and tight.”
Slade’s hand tightens on mine and I run my thumb over his knuckles, trying to calm him. “I suggest you walk away before I bury you,” Slade responds, not once taking his eyes from his biological father.
“And I suggest you stay out of business that ain’t yours to be worrying about.”
“You made sure to make her my business,” Slade reminds him. “You remember, right? When you threaten my family, my life, and my future. So, you best fucking believe that you will never touch her again. She’s mine.”
Lucien’s lips pull up into a sick grin. “My, my. You really are my son. You’re a greedy little bastard.”
Slade’s body practically shakes with fury and I squeeze my eyes while silently begging for him not to listen to a damn word Lucien says. “He’s trying to get in your head,” I murmur low, fisting my other hand into the back of his shirt as he protects me with everything he’s got from the man who abused me for way too long. “Don’t let him. You’re so much stronger than him. You’re good and pure. He’s vile. You’re nothing like him, Slade.”
I feel him begin to relax as the tension seeps out of his tight muscles, but don’t be fooled, he’s still more than ready to go.
He stands before Lucien, tall and imposing, an absolute force to be reckoned with. I peer around Slade’s side and rest my eyes upon Lucien and what I see has hope surging within me. It’s something I have never seen from this man in my life, something I didn’t even realize he was capable of - fear.
He senses it just like everyone else Slade has ever faced down. He’s the alpha, always has been and always will be and Lucien doesn’t like it one bit. He knows that Slade is more than willing to stand here all fucking night to protect me and while it’s a good thing. It means that next time, he’ll be more prepared.
Lucien finally begins to retreat and as he gets to the door of his SUV, he turns, looking back at me with a sick grin that sends chills racing down my spine. “Don’t go anywhere, princess,” he taunts. “You have a wedding to attend and I will be following through on my end of the deal.”
With that, he laughs and slips back into his car.
Slade doesn’t move an inch or let up on my hand until Lucien’s car reverses back off the sidewalk and disappears down the street, way out of sight.
I finally start to breathe and the second he releases my hand, my knees buckle and I fall back down to the hard ground as the terror washes over me. Sobs tear up my throat and I bury my face into my hands.
This whole time I’ve been preparing myself for this. I’ve locked my window, locked the doors, told everyone important to me to be on the lookout, I’ve even slept with a knife and threatened to use it on Slade’s neck thinking it was him. But not once did I think about how I would feel, how I would react, and what sort of horrors it would wash over me.
I wasn’t ready. Not in the least.
Slade crouches down and holds me between his legs, his knees on either side of me. His arms circle me, one holding my head to his chest and the other soothing up and down my back. “It’s alright, Virago. He’s gone. You’re safe with me. What did I tell you? You’ll always be safe with me.”
His words are just empty words and yes, while he kept me safe, he doesn’t mean it. He ended things and I was lucky that he must have heard my scream, but what happens next time when he moves on and it’s another girl he’s protecting? What am I supposed to do then?
Lucien made it damn clear that he’s coming back for me and considering I’m expected to marry Marcus Mahony in less than four months, I don’t doubt that he’d be coming soon. Marcus would be nervous hearing that I’m gone and Lucien would be doing everything he can to assure him that I’ll be back and ready to walk down the aisle on my eighteen birthday, even if it means handcuffing me to the priest.
I cry into Slade’s chest, finding it impossible to calm myself. Five minutes turn into ten and before I know it, I’m being lifted off the ground. I curl into him, hating him seeing me like this, but being so glad that he’s here.
I’ve always prided myself on being stronger but now I see no way out. It’s inevitable. Whether it’s today or tomorrow, Lucien will get me. It’s not possible for Slade to always be there and the second he turns his back, Lucien will make his move.
My strength is no match for his. I’m weak and pathetic. He proved that to me the night he forced his way inside my room and he proved it to me again in the way he so easily tugged me toward his car. Had Slade not been there, I’d be long gone by now.
Slade walks with me in his arms until he’s showing up at my door. He walks in, makes his way down the hall and puts me straight into my bed, making sure to leave some tissues, pain killers and a glass of water on my bedside table.
He looks down at me and I refuse to meet his eyes, knowing that once I do, I’m going to break all over again. Without another word, he silently walks from my room and closes my bedroom door, the sound all too final.
Chapter 15
I wake and stare up at the ceiling while shaking my hand. I don’t think I’ve ever clutched my knife so hard in my life. My hand is red-raw and my brain hurts. It was a night spent filled with tears, torment, and fear.
I tossed and turned until five in the morning, constantly looking at the window. I think I’m going to have to ask Shay and Ben if I can board it up or put bars across it. Hell, maybe I’ll just turn this place into a prison cell, no one in and no one out.
Slade has been able to sneak in here twice and pull me out of bed with me none the wiser until I’m slammed up against the wall. I can’t trust myself anymore and I don’t know if that scares me more than the promise of Lucien coming back.
I throw my blanket off and sit up in bed. I instantly see my reflection in my full-length mirror that sits across my room and even from here I can see the puffiness beneath my eyes. The last time I remember crying like that was when I was four years old and I was clutching my baby brother to my chest in a dark basement. I was cold and struggling with the images of my mother’s blood splattering over our walls and windows. I’ve never felt so alone than what I did in that basement with Blake. We were only babies, yet last night, I felt that same fear.
It’s the unknown that comes to torment me in the night, it’s the shadows that pass by my bedroom window, it’s the sound of night-time critters dashing across the roof and playing in the moonlight. Every last sound had me gasping and throwing myself out of bed, ready for an attack, and realizing that it’s my overactive mind, I was left feeling pathetic…weak.
I’m miles away from my attacker and he has me reduced to this. I wonder if this is the way Daniella felt all those years? She said she was able to move past it when she found happiness in her husband, but what if happiness isn’t in my cards? I’m used goods. What man is ever going to want me? One little thing has Slade
running for the hills. What chances do I have of finding another who could possibly compare to the way he set my body on fire? The way he made my heart race with a single touch? The way he made all the bad fade into the distance? The way he made me happy for the first time in thirteen years…
The way he saved me.
Simply put, Slade Cruz is irreplaceable.
Jokes on me, right? Slade Cruz is too cruel to fall in love. Hell, what does it matter? I’m too broken to fall in love anyway. I’m not worthy, not good, not…clean.
I get my feet to the floor and reluctantly pull myself out of bed. It’s just after seven in the morning and despite my body begging me to get a few more hours sleep, I know I won’t be able to shut off. Maybe tonight I’ll be able to find enough peace to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, but for now, there’s no chance in hell.
I put myself through a quick shower, hating the feel of the alcohol that sits at the bottom of my stomach. Drinking was a bad fucking idea. It was nice getting to know Nessa a bit more and having a bit of fun while doing it, but I’ve never regretted a decision so much in my life.
After turning the water cold and running it over my sore, puffy eyes, I get out to face my day.
Usually, I’d be thrilled that it’s a Sunday. I’d be able to chill out while creating some art, catch up on any missed school work, and binge on Netflix, but not today. Today is going to be filled with nothing but despair. I’m going to be looking around every corner, panicking at every second, and hating myself for all of my shitty decisions since being here in Aston Creek.
I grab my towel and wrap it tightly around my body before ducking into my room and pulling on a short tank and a pair of high waisted jeans. Today is forecast to be quite warm but seeing as though the sun has hardly had a chance to warm the earth, I grab a jacket and tie it around my waist.
Grabbing my art supplies and throwing my hair up into a messy bun, I walk out the door. The only thing that has even the slightest shot at helping to ease my mind is sitting out on the bench by the basketball court with my pencils and sketchpad. It’s one of the few places in this godforsaken town that holds a few good memories and if I plan on giving myself even the tiniest shot at having an alright day, then this is my only hope. Either this or begging Blake to hang out with me but that would only result in him asking questions and I’m not ready for that.
Making my way towards the front door, I stop by the kitchen and tear out a corner from the back page of my sketchpad and start writing out a note.
Shay,
Don’t stress when you find my empty bed.
I had a shitty night and couldn’t sleep. I’ll tell you about it this afternoon, though maybe we should stop by the store and pick up some ice cream. I don’t think you’re going to like this story. Actually, this might be the third time you’ll demand a visit to the police station. Don’t worry though, I’m safe.
I’ve gone to the park to draw for a bit.
I’m not sure when I’ll be home, probably when I get hungry.
Love you,
Sky
I reposition my sketchpad under my arm and make my way to the front door, giving a smile to Blake who’s half-asleep on the couch with a throw rug that starts at his waist and stops at his shins. From the look of it, he was drinking again last night, though I guess it’s a bonus that he passed out on the couch and not the floor. I’m really going to have to teach this kid how to hold his liquor. You’d think from the size of him, he’d have no issue but it seems he’s a lightweight. On the plus side, he didn’t reveal any tragic secrets last night.
I walk out the door and find myself stopping. I never hesitate like this but here I am, looking up and down the street and making sure no rich mobsters are about to drag me into their SUV’s for an arranged marriage.
Realizing I’m overthinking things just as I have all night, I make my way toward the sidewalk when I glance back at my home, double-checking that I closed the door properly and that my bedroom window is locked. After all, if I was to come home to find my family hurt or Blake gone, I’d never forgive myself. Their safety is my number one priority.
As my eyes scan over my window, I can’t help but notice a body, sprawled out beneath it in the long grass. His light snores speak right to my soul and I find everything within me caving.
That idiot spent the night there.
I drop my sketchpad and pencils to the ground and make my way toward him. He couldn’t possibly be comfortable down there with only a thin patch of grass beneath his head. He should go home to his own bed, under his mother’s roof so she can finally breathe right.
I crouch down beside him, hating that he’s done this. What good is sleeping under my window? No wonder I kept thinking I could hear shit. It was probably him all freaking night.
I place my hand onto his thigh and gently shake him awake.
Slade’s eyes fly open and for a brief moment, he looks confused and a little unsure what the hell he’s doing waking up in someone’s yard. His eyes adjust and it doesn’t take long for the confusion to fade away.
His eyes scan over my face as he stretches and pushes himself up against the brick wall, not yet ready to get up. “Shit,” he grumbles, glancing away. “I was hoping to be long gone before you woke up.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” I explain.
“I know, I could hear you.”
I look down, not quite sure what to do here. Our relationship is completely up in the air and I have no idea what’s going on. One minute he’s telling me that he’s done and looking at me as though he’ll never trust me again and the next, he’s saving me from boogeymen and keeping watch under my window all night.
All sorts of emotions circle my heart but I try not to let them affect me. If I think too hard about this, all I’m going to do is cause myself more pain, pain that I simply can’t handle right now.
“What are you doing here?” I question, only now realizing that my hand is still on his thigh. I slide it away, dropping it off his leg and into the grass, both of us watching it as though the movement is dangerous enough to kill.
The Slade I was talking to last night at the party would have been on his feet and halfway down the street by now, but he remains, not taking his gaze off my hand that picks at the blades of grass by my feet.
“I didn’t mean to stay,” he murmurs, reaching for my hand and then pulling back and making my heart squeeze in the worst kind of way. “I started to leave but the image of Lucien dragging you away kept flashing in my mind. He’s too close. I couldn’t risk him coming back for you.”
Words get stuck in my throat as I try to unjumble my thoughts. What does this mean? Why does he even care? Are we together or are we not? And damn it, why does he keep wanting to protect me if he said he was done?
“I…” I start before letting the words fall flat. I really don’t know what to say so I stick with the only appropriate thing in our fucked-up situation. I lower my voice to a barely audible whisper, knowing that he’s so damn in tune with me that it wouldn’t even matter what I say, he’d be able to read me like a book. “Thank you.”
His dark, tiresome gaze slowly sweeps up from my hand and as it finally reaches my own, he finally lets me in. He’s so damn broken but more than that, he’s terrified of what this could mean, terrified of losing me, terrified of his family getting hurt, and terrified of who he is.
My heart aches watching him and the second he reaches for me, I fly into him, straddling his lap and curling my body into his as my arms snakes around his neck.
Slade drops his face into the curve of my neck and I realize that all this time, all he needed was a fucking hug.
He holds me tight and at this moment, I feel as though he’ll never let me go. I feel as though I’m everything he’ll ever need in this word. In fact, maybe I’m exactly that. I’ve been needing this connection with him more than I ever knew. He’s my whole fucking world and being apart from him, not being able to hold him has torn me to shreds.
My heart races in his arms and for the briefest moment, everything is right in the world. How could he not want this? We’re so right together. He’s my other half.
The realization hits me hard; I am in love with Slade Cruz.
I am so damn over the moon, excruciatingly in love with this man. How could I have not figured it out? I knew I was heading down this path but maybe it wasn’t until I saw the man sleeping in the grass and going to all lengths to protect me that I truly understood what it was. All I know is that to be out of his arms with his heart not belonging to me would be the worst kind of torture.
I love him. I‘m so fucking in love with him.
I don’t know how much time passes, all I know is that I hold him tighter and tighter as every second passes by. I need this man in my life like I need to breathe. I don’t want to be that cliché bitch who says he completes me but…you know, I think he might.
Shit. I wish I was stronger to not have to feel this way but apparently, I’m only human.
What am I going to do if he pushes me away? I knew it last night. I tried to convince myself that he was too cruel to fall in love. Sure, he might lust for me, might like me a little more than the last girl, but love? I don’t think that’s a possibility when it comes to Slade Cruz.
When I first met him, falling in love was the furthest thing from my mind and as I got closer, it was about the way he made everything bad fade away. But love? I’m in real trouble here. He’s always had the potential to break me, but now…now he has the ability to destroy me.
When Slade finally pulls his head from the curve of my neck, he presses a kiss to my forehead and then leans back against the house. The early morning sun beams down on his face, turning his deep, dark eyes to delicious honey that has me drowning within their depths. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” he murmurs, making my heart clench.
Don’t do this. Please, don’t do this.
Lost Girl: Aston Creek High (Book 2) Page 12