But Kate had been the one to find the error, hadn’t she? She’d run up to Theatre so fast that she had barely been able to talk through her breathlessness. He’d heard that phone ringing faintly in the technician’s room. He could have sent someone to answer it and had the news of the error well before he’d picked up the scalpel.
It wasn’t as if he’d even started extending the opening in Estelle’s leg. She would be left with barely more than the scar she would have had anyway from the biopsy and fracture repair, even after dealing with the benign tumour.
She had kept her leg. No harm had been done.
Thanks to Kate.
Connor’s anger couldn’t evaporate instantly but it was diluted with confusion now. He was trying to catch a coherent thought as the door opened in front of him. He found himself staring at Kate.
He could see her fear.
Not the same kind of fear he’d seen that night on the dance floor but it was close enough. And this time he could also see the determination to face whatever was coming. Kate wasn’t going to turn and run away.
Not this time.
But how could he yell at her? Something was swimming up through his brain. If he did that, it would only justify the way she’d reacted the other night. Give her a reason to lump him in with whatever brute of a male had done her emotional harm in the past. For some inexplicable reason, it suddenly seemed very important that he didn’t give her the opportunity to do that.
And what on earth would be the point of venting his anger by attacking Kate anyway?
He should be thanking her.
She was waiting for him to yell at her. Seconds ticked past as they stared at each other and she was starting to look as confused as Connor was feeling.
* * *
The anger was there.
Kate could see it. Feel it, even, like a curious humming in the air between them. She fully expected to get the brunt of his fury, and fair enough. She deserved it. She couldn’t even blame him for breaking unspoken rules and coming into her private life to do so. She deserved this as well because she’d been too much of a coward to go and see him in their professional arena.
She straightened her back and steeled herself to deal with whatever was coming. She couldn’t fight back. Not this time.
Except...Connor said nothing. He was looking at her as though he’d forgotten what it was he had planned to say.
Even more oddly, that humming sensation had changed. It was still there but she couldn’t attribute it to anger. It was too soft now. Too...
Kate didn’t know what it was. And she didn’t know what to say to this man on her doorstep. He wasn’t even looking angry any more and it was confusing, that’s what it was. Anger she could handle. She knew exactly how to distance herself and raise impenetrable barriers to protect the parts of her that had nothing to do with her work. The lessons had been unbearable at the time but they had stood her in very good stead ever since. But those skills seemed to be redundant.
Why had Connor come here if he didn’t want to tear strips off her for the incompetence of her department?
Why was he here at all when he could have simply gone and filed a demand for a disciplinary hearing of some kind?
‘Kate?’ The voice came from behind her. ‘Is everything OK?’
Connor seemed to be collecting himself as Bella pressed close to Kate’s side.
‘Everything’s fine,’ he said.
Kate could feel her jaw dropping. What on earth was going on here?
‘I came to collect Kate,’ Connor was saying to Bella. ‘There’s something I think she needs to see.’
Collect her? Did he think he could just turn up and order her to accompany him to God knows where? Well...Connor Matthews had a few things he needed to learn about her, didn’t he? Kate didn’t take direct orders from anyone. Especially not from a physical hulk that exuded pure masculinity.
Connor’s gaze swung back to meet hers and Kate was astonished to see the confusion in his eyes. As though he had no idea what he was doing or why he was doing it. It was in that moment that Kate realised he had come here with the intention of tearing strips off her but something had made him change his mind. And maybe he was still trying to work out whatever it was himself.
‘I’d like to take you there,’ he said slowly. ‘If that’s all right with you?’
Bella was eyeing the helmet dangling from Connor’s hand. ‘On your bike? Cool!’
A crisp nod from Connor. ‘I have a spare helmet on the bike.’
Bella was eyeing Connor now. Then she looked at Kate. ‘You should go,’ she said. ‘Dinner’s going to be ages cos I forgot to turn the oven on when I put the chicken in.’
Kate barely heard what Bella was saying.
If he’d commanded her to go with him it would have been easy to refuse. She wouldn’t have been able to do anything else. But he was asking and there was a plea amongst that confusion in his eyes. As if he needed her help to sort out what was going on in his head. Where did Connor want to take her? And why?
Getting on the back on this man’s motorbike would have been unthinkable even yesterday but suddenly it was a minor detail in whatever else was going on.
Kate had no idea at all what it was all about but, astonishingly, amidst the emotional turmoil of this whole day and the confusion it was ending in was a feeling that this was, in some way, very simple.
Going off to some unknown destination with Connor, on the back of his bike, felt...right.
Her nod was as crisp as his had been. ‘I’ll just fetch a jacket.’
* * *
They left the city and headed west.
Kate had never been on a motorbike before. At first it was terrifying. All she could think of was how little protection they had between their bodies and the other vehicles around them. Then she was far too conscious of the black tarmac beneath them that was going past so fast she couldn’t even count the broken white lines that marked the centre of the open road they were soon on. She could feel the wind whipping the parts of her body that were exposed.
And the part that wasn’t? Well...that was in close contact with Connor’s body. Her arms were around his waist, hanging on for dear life. There was a thick layer of clothing and leather between her breasts and Connor’s back but she could swear she was aware of his warmth and she was grateful for how solid he felt as the reality around them passed in a blur.
The ride seemed to go on for a very long time and slowly Kate could feel her terror ebbing. She could feel how relaxed Connor was as he tilted when they cornered and she could sense how responsive and powerful the motorbike was. A trickle of something like excitement bubbled up inside her. She—Kate Graham—was doing this. Riding at high speed on a motorbike. Doing something daring. Different.
Getting a life?
It was then that Kate began to take some notice of her surroundings and she finally realised where they were heading. As the brightness of the day began to fade into dusk they were getting closer and closer to one of New Zealand’s most famous beaches.
Piha.
Famed for its scenic beauty and great surf. That it could be a dangerous beach to swim at didn’t deter many thousands of people from visiting this beach at regular intervals but, despite having been within its reach her whole life, Kate had never set foot on the black, iron sands.
The sand glistened in the evening sunlight with the tide well out. There were really two beaches here, the north and south stretches, divided by an ancient formation known as Lion Rock because it looked like a lion resting on the sand. Kate recognised the famous rock instantly as Connor took the bike down the access road. She still had no idea why Connor had brought her here and she definitely didn’t expect to have to climb the rock but apparently it was important.
‘We’ll have to hurry,’ Con
nor said apologetically. ‘Or we’ll be too late. Are you up for it?’
Kate took in a good lungful of the wonderful sea air. ‘Bring it on,’ she nodded.
Connor set a brisk pace across the sand but slowed as they began the track leading up the lion’s back. Kate caught the frequent glances that were assessing how fit she was. She must have made the grade because Connor picked up the pace, walking just half a pace ahead of her.
It made her feel good that she could keep up with him. Being so far from the city in such an astonishingly beautiful part of the country should be making her feel even better but Kate still felt confused about why she was here and there was a nagging sensation that she had backed herself into a corner. They were miles from anywhere. Connor could say anything he wanted and she couldn’t even walk away if she didn’t like it.
What on earth had she been thinking to put herself into such a vulnerable position?
Connor stopped so abruptly Kate banged into him.
‘Sorry.’
‘No worries. I shouldn’t have stopped like that but this looks like a good spot.’ He stepped off the track. ‘Be careful. Wouldn’t want you slipping.’
No. They weren’t that far from the dramatic cliffs that must represent part of the
lion’s mane when it was viewed from the right direction. It was a spot that gave a great view of the surf below, where a number of surfers were making the most of the last daylight. Connor didn’t go far off the track. He chose a smooth rocky area just protruding from the short tussock, dropped his leather jacket that he’d peeled off during the climb up the hill, and sat down. Kate sat down on the uphill side of his spot. It made her slightly higher. Maybe it made her feel slightly more in control.
Connor said nothing. He shaded his eyes with his hand and watched the surfers. For a long moment Kate found herself watching him, still wondering what the purpose of this expedition was.
He looked tired, she decided. His face was very still and his jaw looked dark with a day’s growth of beard. He’d been wearing a black T-shirt under the leather jacket and it left his arms bare. She could see the curve of his muscles just under the sleeves and the skin looked so smooth. Free of the dark scatter of hair on his forearms.
The hand that wasn’t shielding his eyes from the glare of the lowering sun was resting on the thigh closest to Kate. A large hand but the fingers were long and beautifully defined. A powerful but clever hand. Kate couldn’t help remembering what that hand had felt like on her back, guiding her expertly though complicated dance moves.
With a jerk of effort she lifted her gaze and managed to focus on the expanse of the beach and the surrounding hills. After another long moment Kate found herself also watching the activity in the surf far below.
The surfers sat on their boards, riding the swells beyond where the waves were breaking. Time and again they let waves go by that looked huge to Kate. She didn’t understand what they were waiting for but then a wave came that was better in some way and there was frantic movement as the riders paddled furiously to position themselves and stand up on their boards.
And then it was a joy to watch as they skimmed sideways along the wall of water, being chased by the curling lip of the breaking wave. The sky behind them was changing colour and a faint pink tinge began to strengthen and take on streaks of yellow and orange brilliance. Several surfers headed for the shore but one was still out there and produced the longest ride Kate had seen. Not only that, they were treated to a show of talent with the rider doing some spectacular turns and a final flip that had him airborne against the glow of the sunset.
‘Wow,’ Kate breathed. ‘Did you see that?’
‘How good would it feel,’ Connor murmured, ‘to be able to do that?’
‘It must feel a bit like flying,’ Kate suggested.
‘Or dancing,’ Connor said quietly.
His gaze met hers and Kate felt the solid ground she was sitting on simply vanish. She was hanging in space. Falling...
Had she really been afraid of Connor wanting to talk about what had happened at work today?
It paled in comparison to talking about what had happened between them on the dance floor.
Why hadn’t it occurred to Kate that, in order for herself to have felt that way, it had to be coming, at least in part, from Connor feeling the same way?
Oh...Lord...
That connection was there again. She was falling into his eyes.
Falling in love?
No. That couldn’t happen. Kate couldn’t even try going there and if Connor knew what was good for him, he wouldn’t want to go there either.
But maybe Connor didn’t know what was good for him.
‘Kate...’
He seemed to be asking her permission to continue. Her name hung in the air, a low, sexy rumble.
She couldn’t respond. It was hard enough to take a breath. She had to close her eyes to make the effort.
And when she opened them again Connor’s brow was creased in a frown. He turned away to stare down at the sunset gilded surf and Kate could hear him taking a deep, deep breath as though trying to centre himself.
* * *
What the hell had happened there?
That feeling...
Kind of the same as he’d felt dancing with Kate that night. He hadn’t expected it to happen again. Wasn’t ready for it because he still had no idea what it meant.
His gaze slid sideways again involuntarily.
The bike ride had considerably messed with Kate’s hair. The plait was still there but it had come undone and was now hanging over her shoulder. Wisps and even loops of hair had been tugged free as well and they hung like a soft frame around a face flushed with exertion. Maybe it was a trick of the setting sun that made her eyes look so incredibly bright.
Bright enough to blind him?
Why was he so drawn to this woman? Kate was so not his type. She was so prim and proper. Closed off.
Boring.
No. That was the wrong word entirely. How could anyone that seemed to have the ability to completely disrupt his life and mess with his head be considered boring? Not that the disruption was welcome or anything but it was intriguing. Confusing. It needed sorting out.
Connor sighed. That wasn’t the reason he’d brought her here. Not that he’d known what the reason for this impulsive journey had been when he’d instigated it. He hadn’t even known during the ride or the climb up this hill but he knew now. He turned his gaze back to the waves beneath them.
‘Estelle Montgomery has a passion for surfing,’ he told Kate quietly. ‘She won a junior section of a championship a couple of years ago. She’s quite confident that she can win more. She wants to represent Northland in national events. Her dream is to represent New Zealand in an international competition.’
He glanced at Kate again.
She was staring down at the sea, watching the lone surfer who was finally calling it a day and riding the dregs of a wave back to shore. Was she remembering the thrilling last ride of the day that they’d just watched? Imagining it to be Estelle, like he had?
Realising what it would have meant to the young girl if she had lost her leg?
Kate seemed to feel the intensity of his gaze. She turned her head slowly and the instant her eyes met his Connor knew that she got it.
All of it.
His smile felt crooked. ‘Life’s full of corners, isn’t it? They appear from nowhere and sometimes you have no control over which ones you have to take.’
Kate was silent. She held his gaze.
‘One wrong turn can be enough to change the whole direction of your life and often, no matter how badly you might want it, you can’t find a way back.’
Connor was silent for a moment.
‘A terrible mistake almost happened today. A
corner could have been turned that would have changed a great many lives but most of all Estelle’s.’
Kate wasn’t looking at him now. Her head was bowed.
‘You saved more than Estelle’s leg today,’ Connor told her softly. ‘You saved her dreams and they’re what make life worth living, aren’t they?’
* * *
Kate couldn’t answer.
Connor’s words had slipped into a place they shouldn’t have been allowed to enter. The sentiment they expressed was touching a place so deep and so raw it felt as if it was bleeding despite the touch being so gentle.
He had a wisdom she had not expected.
And a depth of caring for a single patient that blew her away.
Kate knew all about those corners in life. Obviously, Connor did too. What turning points had he been forced to follow in his life? Was he trying to find his way back? She certainly wasn’t but if none of it had ever happened, what would her life be like now?
How would she feel if she’d an upbringing like Bella’s, for instance, and was now sitting here with Connor Matthews?
She’d feel full of hope. She would know that she was on the verge of falling in love with a very special man.
She would have dreams for her future that were nothing like any dreams she currently held.
There would be a very big corner to turn in her life that she would take with joy and the absolute conviction that it was the best possible direction to take.
But there was no such corner in the road map of Kate’s life. Or, if there was, it was blocked by a barrier she had no idea how to negotiate.
And that was indescribably sad.
Sad enough to give her a tightness in her chest that squeezed and squeezed until it rose up into her throat and past the back of her nose to reach her eyes. Tight enough to squeeze a single tear from each of her eyes.
Unbelievable.
Kate hadn’t cried since she was fifteen years old.
‘We’d better go,’ she heard Connor say. ‘Let’s get off this hill before it’s too dark to see anything.’
The Legendary Playboy Surgeon Page 8