A tear slid down her cheek and landed on Callie's forehead.
The baby stirred as Jo dabbed the moisture gently and Callie opened her eyes. For a moment they stared at each other. Then Callie smiled and reached a dimpled hand to Jo's nose.
"Jojojojojo."
Jo closed her eyes and lifted Callie into her chest, burying her little face with kisses.
"I'm going to lose everything," she whispered to her mother, the tears flowing freely now. "I've lost Katie. And I lost Cam. And now I'm going to lose Callie."
Her mother wrapped an arm around Jo's shoulder. "They won't keep you out of her life, honey. You can visit her and write to her and always be her aunt Jo."
But she didn't want to be Callie's aunt Jo.
She wanted to be Callie's mother.
"She lived for a reason, Mom." Jo looked hard at her mother. "She has a destiny."
Alice nodded slowly. "Yes, she does. And you know what that is."
Yes, Jo thought quietly, yes. She did know what Callie's destiny was. And she just couldn't fight it anymore.
"You brought the baby?" Mary Beth Borrell raised both eyebrows, her sharp features easily communicating her displeasure. "There was no reason to bring the child."
Defiantly Jo hoisted Callie a bit higher in her arms and met the green-eyed glare of the Child Services social worker she'd come to know all too well over the past three months.
"Yes, I did," she said, walking to the single guest chair in Mary Beth's tiny office. "We won't be long today, Mary Beth, and I thought I'd take Callie for new shoes while we're in Sacramento." A whole new ward-robe, actually. That she could wear in Florida Or Rhode Island. Or New York.
"Don't sit down." Mary Beth stopped her with another sharp look. "We're all in the conference room."
Jo's heart dipped. All? Had Cam come after all? Didn't he trust her to come forward with the truth?
Mary Beth indicated for Jo to follow her into the narrow hallway of the old government building, their heels tapping on the buckled linoleum floor. Just before they reached a single door with a milky glass panel, Mary Beth turned, her displeasure having morphed to something akin to disgust.
"I wish you'd told me sooner," she said. "I trusted you from the beginning of this."
Jo backed up an inch and felt the blood drain from her head. So Cam was in that room. He really didn't trust her.
"I only recently learned about the family," Jo said quietly. "And I have all the necessary paperwork to arrange for him to have custody of Callie."
Mary Beth frowned, confusion darkening her green eyes. "We don't need these kinds of complications, Ms. Tremaine."
"No." Jo tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. "We certainly don't, Ms. Borrell."
"I thought this was a cut-and-dried case."
Callie turned in Jo's arms and looked at the other woman, somehow sensing the hostility between them. Grab her nose, Cal, Jo thought. Go ahead.
But the baby dropped her head on Jo's shoulder in an uncharacteristic bout of shyness.
Mary Beth's face softened. "We can handle it," she said quickly as she turned the doorknob. "I was just a bit overwhelmed by the three of them."
The three of them? Jo barely took a breath before the door opened to reveal three striking, large, handsome men sitting side by side at a conference room table.
They stood in unison, like a six-foot-two wall of masculinity, and she could practically feel the balance of power slide to that side of the room.
As if she ever had a chance against these guys.
Forcing herself to focus, she looked at the man in front of her. Tall, with the lanky build of an athlete, he had close-cropped dark hair except for one loose lock over his handsome brow. His lip curled in a half smile as his gaze dropped just far enough over her face to feel completely checked out.
Quinn, the ladies' man.
He confirmed it by reaching out his hand and introducing himself. She shifted Callie into her left arm and shook his hand. "Hello, Quinn."
She looked to his left and met the dark-chocolate gaze of Colin McGrath. His grin was warm and immediate, and he tilted his head as he reached out his hand. She noticed a tiny gold earring and a ponytail, but her focus was on those eyes. That smile. For a second she was so overwhelmed with the loss of Katie, she couldn't speak. They really could have been twins.
Colin, the rebel.
"I'm Colin," he said, his expression as warm as his handshake. "And this must be Callie."
She shifted Callie in her arms so they could see her. "Yes. This is your niece."
Both men's faces brightened as they focused on the baby, but Jo just froze. She had to face Cam. He stood next to Colin, and she could feel his gaze on her.
Would he be cold? Mean? Call her Ms. Tremaine as if they hadn't shared hours of ecstasy and days of love?
Finally she looked up at him. "Hi, Cam."
"Jo Ellen." His voice was low, his expression tender.
She swallowed and managed a weak smile, but his gaze moved to Callie.
"Hi-ya, kid." He grinned at the baby, who beamed right back at him.
"Cacacaca!" She held both arms out to him.
Cam laughed and reached for her, and Jo didn't even fight it. She hoisted the baby over the table and gave Cam a look of pure defeat. Callie cooed with delight when he took her.
Even Callie knew where she really belonged.
"Well, now." Mary Beth noisily scraped out the chair at the head of the table and took her seat, nodding to everyone to do the same. "It seems our little Callie has family after all." Her stern gaze moved to Cameron. "Or so they say."
Jo sat up at the comment and looked at Mary Beth. "They are telling the truth. These men are Callie's blood uncles. I have everything you need to see to prove it."
Callie's pudgy hands curled around Cam's index fingers, and she stood her little legs on his lap, doing her march as if to prove that someday, very soon, she could actually walk like all these other people.
Colin cracked up and glanced at Quinn, who stared at the baby like he'd never seen anything so adorable in his whole life.
A strange flood of relief washed through Jo. This would be fine. This would be fine .
Most important, this would be right.
She leaned forward and looked hard at Mary Beth. "Obviously, I was premature in seeking custody and starting the adoption process of Callie McGrath." She willed her voice to be steady and strong, aware of Cam's unwavering gaze on her. She didn't meet it. "After a great deal of consideration, I have elected to drop those efforts and will move forward at the court's direction to arrange for a representative from the McGrath family to adopt Callie."
The room went silent. Mary Beth's jaw fell open. The stunned looks of the McGrath brothers burned her.
"What?" Cam finally broke the tension and set Callie on the table, holding her tiny waist with his massive hands.
"I'm not going to fight you, Cam," she said softly. Her gaze traveled to Colin, then to Quinn. "Callie should be raised withfamily." She praised her inner strength for being able to say that without her voice cracking.
That must be because she finally believed it.
"Well, this is highly unusual." Mary Beth's voice rose at least an octave. "I'm not sure we've ever had a case quite like this before. I may have to get a supervisor in here."
"Why?" Jo asked. "There's plenty of precedent." She glanced at Cam. "Ask the lawyer."
But Cam's eyes had turned an intense shade of blue. "We've already signed the petition, Jo. She's yours. We're not taking her."
All her inner strength melted like powdery spring snow at his words. "Are you serious?"
He nodded, punctuating the confirmation with a kiss on Callie's forehead. "We decided she needs to stay with you. You've been a mother to her, Jo. I can't" He exchanged a meaningful glance with his brothers, and when he looked back at her, she saw a lifetime of pain in his eyes. "We can't be responsible for separating a child from its mother."
The unfamiliar bum of tears stung her eyelids. If she so much as blinked, the waterworks would fall. She swallowed again, hoping her voice would be there when she needed it.
Quinn leaned forward, reaching across the table and putting his hand over hers. "We've agreed on this, Jo. Cam convinced us it's the right way to proceed."
She looked up at him and tried to smile. Damn the tears. All she could do was nod.
"We'd love it if you brought her back east once in a while," Colin added with a devilish grin. "So we can spoil her rotten."
That did it. She blinked. Great. The one time in her life she needed to act like a tomboy and she turned into a virtual crybaby.
She took a deep breath and looked from one McGrath to the other. "Katie would have" her voice caught and she sniffed a little "Katie would have loved you all."
Colin's eyes glimmered and Quinn smiled sadly. She stole a look at Cameron, who just warmed her with an expression she recognized as well as her own face. The look he gave her after they made love. Or when she made him laugh. That look of admiration and respect andlove.
She sternly reminded herself that he credited her with some miraculous healing of his heart. Not love. Not real love, anyway. She had to remember that, because it would make saying goodbye easier.
"I promise that you'll know her, and see her," she told them. "I promise that she'll always be part of your family."
Mary Beth stood up. "All righty, then. We'll proceed with the formal adoption of Callie McGrath by Jo Ellen Tremaine. Thank you."
As soon as Mary Beth left the room, Colin and Quinn descended on Callie, making silly sounds and jokes and vying for her attention. And just like her mother, Callie treated them to a megawatt smile that elicited a round of appreciative laughter.
Cameron handed the baby to Quinn. "Better practice, bro. I'll be right back."
Quinn responded with a questioning look. "Where are you going?"
"To jump off a roller coaster," he said, and they shared a knowing look.
"Good luck," Quinn replied, taking the baby.
"It's a good ride," Colin added.
A roller coaster? Jo ignored the inside joke, slowly standing on legs that threatened to buckle from the wild happiness that danced through her. She was keeping Callie. Forever.
She reached for the Winnie-the-Pooh diaper bag on the floor, and when she straightened, Cam was inches from her.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked, his voice low with solemnity.
She tilted her head toward the hallway where they could talk. Of course she had to thank him. She had to apologize for the way she acted the other night.
As she turned, she noticed Colin and Quinn grinning at each other. More inside jokes. She might not get the joke, but she understood what Cam wanted. A more pleasant, civil goodbye.
Because their goodbye had always been inevitable.
* * *
Chapter Twelve
"There's probably a better way to do this, Jo," Cam said as they stepped into the hall.
"I know. I know there is," she agreed.
She did?
Before he could continue, she put her hand on his arm and gave him a gentle squeeze. "Thank you, Cam. I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you've done."
Even in the fluorescent lights of a decrepit old county building, Jo's eyes had a golden sparkle to them. Of course, that might have been caused by the tears.
He'd never seen her cry before today, he realized. She'd been ready to give up Callie. For him. The urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her shook him to the bones. But he controlled it. "So, were you really ready to surrender or was that a bluff?"
She bit back a laugh. "No, it wasn't a bluff. I'd given it a lot of thought. I talked to my mother for a long time.
Believe me, I didn'tI don't want to lose Callie. But I wouldn't fight you for her." She bit her lower lip and let out a slow breath. "But this is so much better. Please, please tell your brothers that I appreciate them coming out here. I'm sure it went a long way to assuring Mary Beth that you were serious."
He started to speak, but she tightened her grip on his arm and interrupted him. "I also want to say that I'm sorry about how mad I got at you the other night."
"Don't worry about that," he said, still fighting the urge to kiss her. "I understand your reaction. It was perfectly reasonable."
Her lips curled up in a half smile. "Not exactly reasonable, but thank you. And I promise toto" She looked away as though she were gathering her forces again, then met his gaze. "Stay in touch."
His heart sank an inch or two.
"Stay in touch?" He frowned at her. Was his vision of their future that different from hers?
"Well" Her tight smile discouraged him even further. "There's always e-mail. And you can stop by sometime."
Stop by? "Yeah, anytime I just happen by the Sierra Nevadas."
"You know what I mean."
"I do. And I don't like it."
A little V formed between her eyes as she frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I want more."
She didn't say anything for a long moment. "More?"
He leaned forward, lifting her chin closer to his face. "I want it all."
"All?" He could have swom her voice cracked again. Would she cry when he asked her to marry him? He hoped the proposal would mean that much to her. Hoped it would fill her with the same overwhelming joy he'd seen in her face a few minutes earlier.
He couldn't wait to find out. "I want to spend my life with you."
If he hadn't been holding her little chin , it would have hit the ground. "Life?"
"You know. Mornings. Afternoons. Nights and weekends. You've heard of life."
"Why?"
Well, that was definitely not the resounding response he'd been hoping for. "Because I love you."
She gave her head a sharp shake. "No, you don't."
"Yes. I do."
"You think you do." She backed up a step and pointed one finger at him. "But you're justgrateful for everything that's happened the past few weeks. This isn't love."
"Easy, Dr. Freud."
"And anyway, I'm not going to New York"
"I want to live here."
Her eyes popped open like shiny new pennies. "Here? In Sierra Springs?"
"I like it," he said, hating that her reaction wasn't accompanied with quite the choir of angels he'd hoped for. "I can take the California Bar. I really want to practice law again, not manage other people who do. I thought I could"
She held up her "stop everything" hand. "You don't know what you're saying, Cam. In a few weeks you'll get sick of it. Sick of the small town and the lack ofof Yankees . You'll hate it, then you'll hate me."
Was she serious? "I don't care about the Yankees." Now if that wasn't a declaration of love, what was? "No," she said simply. "You'll leave."
"I will not," he declared.
But she just looked at him and gave her head another tiny shake. "You won't stay," she said softly. "I know that."
He felt his short glimmer of happiness slip away as he tried to psych her out. He'd have to convince her he was different from the other men who'd broken her heart.
"Jo, I won't leave you," he said quietly. "I wouldn't stand here and ask you to marry me if I"
"Marry?"
"Well, yeah." Jeez, this was a freaking disaster. "What did you think? I just want to live with you? I told you, I lo"
She put her hand over his mouth, her eyes wild now. "Please don't, Cam. I can't stand it. I just can't take it."
Slowly he removed her hand from his mouth and threaded his fingers through hers. "Do you love me?"
She just stared at him, saying nothing. Nothing.
He wondered if she could actually hear the sound of his heart breaking as each second ticked by. Finally he asked, "Could you love me, Jo?"
"I could never take that risk." The resolve in her voice was all it took to stop him.
He dropped her hand. He wasn't goin
g to beg. He wasn't prepared to make a closing argument. He'd lost this one.
The sudden outburst of men's laughter broke their moment. He leaned close to her ear, taking that last whiff of her beautiful lemony scent, that last tickle of her hair on his lips.
"You're quite a woman, tomgirl," he whispered. "I'll never forget you."
She looked up and rewarded him with a tearful smile.
Callie's cry woke Jo from a light sleep. Throwing back the sheet, Jo welcomed the cool mountain air on her bare skin. July in the Sierras was the best month for sleeping in the buff.
"I'm coming, sweetie," she called out as she reached for the T-shirt she'd been wearing before bed, and slid on her Sponge Bob boxers.
Somehow, this middle-of-the-night ritual had become part of their routine. Without a doubt, every parenting book ever written would frown mightily on the big, bad habit they'd developed in the past month, but Jo had stopped worrying about the experts around the third night.
It was too good. Too wonderful. The secret hour she spent with Callie. And Cam.
Callie was standing in her crib, crying softly when Jo slipped into the room.
"Hey, lollipop, why ya cryin' ?"
"Jojojojojojo!"
"That's what they call me," Jo reached into the crib and glanced at the Piglet and Tigger clock on the wall. Twelve forty-five. Just before ten on the East Coast. "Good timing, my love. Let's get our drinks."
She tiptoed down the stairs with Callie in her arms, out of habit inching to the side that didn't creak.
How had this happened? Oh, she knew exactly how it happened. By accident the first time. By design the second time. Then by silent, mutual agreement.
In the kitchen she popped an already-poured bottle in the microwave, hit the appropriate buttons and then untwisted the cap to her beer.
"We are bad, bad girls," she whispered to Callie.
"Ba-ba!" Callie reached toward the beer bottle, but Jo pulled it away.
"Not that bad, dollface." The microwave beeped and Jo shook the bottle to cool it off before handing it to Callie. "This ba's for you."
When the Earth Moves Page 14