The next evening the community center was packed with people by the time they got there. Delighted to hear that Peggy had a date for the fund-raiser, Gayle and Sherri had agreed to hold a table where the three couples could sit together. Peggy glanced around the room, immediately spotting Neill Brandon’s red hair and height above the crowd of people. “There they are,” she said, leaning into Rory so that her words could be heard over the noise of the crowd milling about.
“I’ll follow you,” he said, placing his hand in the small of her back, his fingers heated points against her cool skin. She wore the dress she’d worn to dinner, a last-minute decision, the result of getting home late because of a patient whose veins were difficult to find. The look in Rory’s eyes when he arrived to pick her up told her she’d made a good choice.
She had been looking forward to tonight since she woke up this morning; such a relief not to be thinking about her doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Although it would feel really strange to be socializing with Dr. Brandon tonight, when he had news that would either put her mind at ease or change her life. Her stomach fluttered at the thought.
They approached the group at the table together, the expression on each of their faces one of open curiosity. She forced all thoughts of tomorrow from her mind. Tonight she promised to enjoy herself. She introduced Rory. Just as they went to sit down, a woman came up to Rory and thanked him for fixing her mother’s front steps. Peggy couldn’t help but notice that the woman didn’t give anyone else at the table one moment of attention. Not even Dr. Brandon, the man everyone admired for coming home to practice medicine and marry his high school sweetheart.
Gayle leaned over to Peggy. “Is she flirting with him?” she asked.
“Yep.” Peggy sighed. “Hope the whole evening doesn’t end up this way.”
“I doubt it. I saw the look in Rory’s eyes as he escorted you over here to the table. The man’s hooked on you.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know. Open your eyes, Peggy, and see what’s right in front of you,” Gayle whispered.
What if Rory was hooked on her? Was it possible? Could someone care for her so quickly, so easily?
She really liked him, but like was a long way from love. Yet as she sat beside him, his shoulder brushing hers as he talked to the woman, she wanted Gayle’s words to be true.
Peggy’s breath caught as Rory turned his attention back to her. She met his easy smile, saw the awareness in his eyes. A wonderful feeling of intimacy warmed her, making her a little anxious about what would happen next. She regretfully realized she didn’t want any man hooked on her right now, not until she knew the outcome of her test. “Everyone at the table seems to have something to drink. Can I get you something?” he asked, leaning into her space, making her neck tingle.
“I’ll have a glass of white wine.”
“Me, too,” he said close to her ear before going to the bar.
“Who would have thought that the six of us would be here this evening?” Sherri asked, her hand resting on the table, displaying her wedding ring. It had been only a few weeks since Neill and Sherri’s wedding, and people were still talking about it. The general consensus was that it had been the social event of the year.
Adding to the excitement, Gayle and Nate were now engaged to be married. Peggy felt like Alice in wedding land. Of course, she was very happy for both her friends, even though at times she had to admit to being a little bit envious. Sherri and Neill were deep in conversation as were Nate and Gayle, leaving Peggy with time to look around at all the people at the fund-raiser. Moving here had been the biggest risk she’d ever taken, and it had paid off. She was happy here, content with her life, her job and her horses. She’d been happy to settle for all of that until she’d met Rory.
She was searching the crowd for him when he came toward her, two glasses in his hands. As he reached their table, the band began to play. Rory put the glasses down and took her hand. “This is our song.”
“Our song?” she asked as she rose. “We don’t have a song.”
He pulled her into his arms. “We do now. A nice waltz, I’m pleased to report. What is it, by the way?”
“You don’t know?”
He held her close, the powerful muscles in his arms cradling her. “I haven’t a clue. But I must say it’s perfect for what I want to do.”
“And that is?”
“Hold you while we sway to the music.” He smiled down at her. “I think it only fair to warn you that I’ve never had dance lessons. I make it up as I go.”
“Fair enough. If you make moves I can’t follow, I’ll stand on your feet and you can carry me around.”
His laugh was open and genuine. “Hang on, princess,” he said, swinging her around as he moved through the other couples on the dance floor, his body locked to hers in such a way that she couldn’t move. Besides, she didn’t want to move, to let go of him, or even to make conversation with him. Not right now. Now was the time to simply enjoy and have fun with this handsome man who was drawing looks from virtually every woman in the room.
Later she danced with Nate and again with Rory and with one of her regular patients at the phlebotomy clinic. Sherri was dancing with other men, leaving Neill Brandon to dance with whomever he chose. He hadn’t chosen her, and she couldn’t help wondering why he hadn’t. Were the results of her mammogram bad?
When the party ended, they all walked out together. Peggy had never been part of a group of couples and felt really pleased that tonight she was.
“See you at work tomorrow,” Gayle said.
“It was nice to meet all of you,” Rory said, his arm snugly around Peggy.
All the way home Peggy couldn’t shake her anxiety over tomorrow, when she would learn the test results. Tonight had been perfect, fun and exciting. But if she got a bad report, she would have to rethink any relationship hopes she had where Rory was concerned. She could not focus on a relationship if she had to face the kind of changes being diagnosed with breast cancer would mean to her life.
If she got bad news tomorrow, she was alone, without family here in Eden Harbor and would have to rely on her friends for support.
She wanted to call her mom and talk all of this over. Her mother had had breast cancer when Peggy was a preteen. She’d never really talked to her about what it had been like. In fact, she hadn’t talked to her mom ever since she’d learned that her father, Marcus Anderson, wasn’t her birth father, a lie she could not forgive her mother for perpetuating. She loved her dad, and he’d loved her very much.
“Would a penny cover it?” he asked.
“Pardon?”
“Your thoughts. You haven’t said a word since you got into the cab of my truck.”
She glanced over at him, his open smile, his dark eyes focused on hers. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”
“Not a problem,” he said, but she recognized the tone of a man who felt he’d been ignored.
As Rory pulled into her driveway, Peggy gathered her purse and her shawl preparing to leave and go into the house. Rory shut off the engine. Peggy reached for the door.
“What’s the hurry?” he asked, his voice low and sensual.
“I have to work tomorrow,” she said, opening the door and flooding the interior of the truck with soft light.
“We both do,” he said, squinting in the sudden brightness. “That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the rest of the evening.”
“You mean we go into my house and do what?” she asked. She didn’t want to sound harsh, but she did need to be alone right now. Rory would probably not understand that, which meant he’d make his polite good-night, and she wouldn’t hear from him again.
“As I told you before, I’m a good listener if you—”
“I really have to go in. Please understand.”
He shrugged. “I get it. I read the signs wrong. You’re not interested in continuing further.”
“That’s not true! I’m sorry if you think that.”<
br />
“Then tell me what to think. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t. Not right now.” She found herself searching his face for some sense that he understood.
“So you want me to believe that you’re interested in me, but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Or next month. Whenever.”
She heard the rising tone of his voice, and her tummy touched her toes. She couldn’t share her worry with a stranger, and he didn’t seem to be aware that she needed privacy. Obviously, he was disappointed that she hadn’t invited him into her house. She’d read this script before. Another time. Another place. Another man. “I want to go in and go to bed. I have a lot riding on tomorrow, and I need to be ready to face it. If you cannot accept that, then—”
He leaned across the console, placed his large hand firmly behind her head, drew her face to his and kissed her. A simple kiss that claimed her. She reached up to touch his face, to feel the faint stubble on his cheeks, the pulse along his chin line. He gently blocked her hand with his. Then ever so quietly he ended the kiss, nearly driving her wild with need.
“I believe I’ve made my point. Have a good night. Dream of me if you like,” he said, a light teasing tone back in his voice. He touched his forehead to hers, and suddenly she wished he could come in. She wished she wasn’t so anxious about her health, her life, about so many things. A sharp pang of regret tightened her throat, making words impossible. He was being so kind, so very much the man she’d imagined she’d meet one day.
“We’ll continue this at a later date,” he whispered, planting another kiss on the end of her nose.
As her heart pounded and her thoughts scrambled, she clambered out the door of the truck toward her house. She’d wanted to stay right there with him, to let him kiss her until they had no choice but to move to her bedroom. She wanted it but she couldn’t have it. Not tonight, and maybe not for a very long time.
He was everything she wanted and everything she couldn’t afford emotionally. Not when so much of her life would revolve around what the doctor had to say.
Yanking off her clothes, she climbed under her duvet and curled up into a ball. She’d never felt so alone in her life. All of it her doing, but still every bit as painful.
CHAPTER FOUR
PEGGY WENT INTO WORK, her mind on her doctor’s appointment scheduled for eleven o’clock at Dr. Brandon’s office. She had hoped that his office might call to say the mammogram was negative, but they hadn’t. To her that meant only one thing. She drew in a deep breath to ward off the tears.
She hadn’t eaten a bite, nor had she slept until around four o’clock, when she finally fell exhausted into a deep sleep, during which she dreamed that someone was calling to her. She’d awoken sweaty and disoriented, believing that someone was in the house looking for her. A long shower helped clear her head of the dream, a shower during which she didn’t touch her breast.
When she reached the phlebotomy clinic, she turned on her computer at her workstation in preparation for the day ahead. Gayle came by her desk, leaning her arm on the counter, a sympathetic smile on her face. “Want to talk about it?”
“I’m scared, Gayle. I don’t know what I’ll do if this is cancer. If I have to go to Portland or Bangor for treatment, leave my job for days on end, find someone to look after my horses while I’m sick...” She tried to breathe over her fear, to draw air in past the knot in her throat.
“Sherri and I are here for you. We’ll do anything we can to help.”
Gayle’s voice, so filled with care, brought tears to her eyes. “I know you will, and I appreciate it so much. It’s just that I’ve never felt this alone before.”
“Why don’t you let me call your mom?”
“No! She’d make this all about her. I don’t have the energy for that.”
“What can I do?”
Peggy came around the desk and hugged her friend. “Just knowing you’re here and willing to help makes all the difference.”
“Okay. Who’s covering for you after eleven?”
“Janet Mills.”
“Call me when you get home. Promise?”
“I promise to call you the first chance I get.”
Peggy managed to make it through her morning patients, including a particularly exuberant four-year-old. When Janet arrived, she gathered up her purse and headed out.
When she got to Dr. Brandon’s office, his waiting room was empty. Peggy was very thankful for the reprieve. Waiting in a room full of people, trying to remain upbeat when people started a conversation with her, would have been difficult.
Ethel Stairs, Dr. Brandon’s receptionist, tipped her reading glasses down her nose and looked across her desk at Peggy. Peggy couldn’t help but wonder what Ethel would do if by some chance her perfect hair got ruffled a little.
“Good morning, Peggy. It’s so nice to see you. You haven’t been in the office for months, have you?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“And I have the correct insurance information on you, I believe,” Ethel said and read the information to Peggy for confirmation. Ethel patted the file before placing it on the corner of her desk. “If you’ll take a seat, Dr. Brandon will see you in a few minutes.”
Peggy concentrated on the seascape painting across the room, which offered a serene vista of the ocean, a calm she didn’t feel at all.
A door opened, and Dr. Brandon walked out, took her chart from the receptionist and led the way into his examination room. Closing the door gently, he smiled at Peggy as she climbed up onto the exam table. “The spot that was bothering you would seem to be nothing other than irritated tissue.”
Peggy sighed, feeling a huge weight lifting off her shoulders. “Yeah, it started to bother me right after I bought a new bra.” She smiled in relief. “I’m putting it in the trash. To think I frightened myself silly over a bad-fitting bra.”
Dr. Brandon didn’t smile back. “But you can be thankful that it prompted you to look into the problem. I’m afraid that although that spot isn’t a problem, the mammogram did find another area we need to biopsy.” He looked at her chart open in his hands and back at her. “We’ll need to do it right away.”
She hugged her arms against her chest to quell the anxiety racing through her. “When?”
“Tomorrow morning. I’ve scheduled a procedure room at the hospital for eight to do an incisional biopsy. You will need to be off work for a day or two. Can you be there?”
Who would care for her horses? Peggy felt the tears flood her eyes. “I’ll rearrange my schedule,” Peggy said as sadness and worry engulfed her.
Dr. Brandon’s gaze was kind. “This will be a simple procedure. All you need to do is be at the hospital about fifteen minutes before your appointment. I’ll meet you there.”
“Then what?”
“The biopsy tissue will be sent to Portland, to the pathology lab there, and we’ll have the results in a matter of days. In the meantime, I would encourage you not to focus on this too much. I know that’s nearly impossible to do under the circumstances. But look at it this way, if it’s nothing, then it’s over and you can go on with your life. If there is something there, the success rate in treating breast cancer has greatly improved in the past few years. There are support services and groups, as well.” He smiled encouragingly. “You have a lot of good friends who will help you if you should need them.”
She could hardly hear what he was saying. It couldn’t be cancer. She couldn’t face it. She needed time to absorb this, to get her head around the idea that this biopsy would be a turning point in her life regardless of the outcome. Suddenly she wanted her mother. She needed her desperately. Tears surged down her cheeks. “Dr. Brandon. Thank you. I’ll be there tomorrow morning.”
Somehow she had to make it home, to the place she felt safe. She needed to take Zeus out for a long run, to feel the wind in her ears, to know that at least one part of her life hadn’t changed. She would ask Ned to care for her horses, she thought, as tears she
couldn’t contain blinded her. She wiped the tears and drove carefully toward home, focusing all her attention on the next few hours, in which she would try her best not to give in to the panic she felt.
* * *
RORY HADN’T HEARD from Peggy today. He missed her. He’d been a little put off by the fact that she hadn’t invited him in after the dance, but he accepted that she needed her space. There would be lots of time for them to get to know one another better. He planned to see her today if he could.
He assumed she would be at work and decided to drop by. When he arrived at her desk, she wasn’t there. Instead, an older woman greeted him. “Do you have a requisition for blood work?” she asked.
“No. I’m looking for Peggy Anderson.”
“She’s taken a day off, I’m afraid. Personal time, I believe,” the woman said, making it clear by the prim set of her lips she planned to say nothing more on the subject of Peggy Anderson.
Was she ill? Had she not been feeling well that night after the dance? He’d never considered that she might have been sick. He’d planned to call her and ask her to go bowling with him tomorrow evening. He knew that Gayle and Sherri both worked in the clinics, and he made his way there as quickly as possible. He saw Gayle at the desk, her eyes on the computer screen in front of her. When he walked up, she stopped and glanced up at him. “Hi, Rory. How are you?”
“I’m good, thanks. I’m looking for Peggy.”
“She’s not working today.”
“I know that. I was wondering why she’s taken a day off in the middle of the week.”
“You’ll have to ask her.” Gayle’s smile was kind, but like the woman at Peggy’s desk, she wasn’t forthcoming.
“Thank you.” He headed out to his truck, started it up and drove out of town toward Peggy’s house. She probably wouldn’t want to talk to him, but he had to know that she was all right. She’d been acting strange, and there had to be a reason.
When he pulled in her driveway, he saw her out near the paddock with one of her horses. He jumped out of his truck and walked toward her. “They told me you were off today. I came to see if everything’s all right.”
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