“Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I hear you. Women seem to find the whole relationship thing so easy.” He put a fresh bandage on Rory’s arm without causing him so much as a twinge of pain.
“You’re right. I’d rather build a whole house than figure out how to make a woman happy. I’m just not good at it, and it makes it pretty hard when I’d like to get it right so bad.”
“You really like Peggy, don’t you?”
“I do. She is so gorgeous, so easy to talk to, a great sense of humor, and she—” Rory stopped. He sounded like a kid with his first girlfriend.
Neill smiled. “I hear you.” He peeled off his surgical gloves and placed them on the tray. “But don’t give up. I did the first time, and I lived to regret it.”
“How did you manage to get it right the second time?”
“I just kept trying. I had hurt Sherri and didn’t have much faith that we’d make it. But knowing she’d never really given up on us made anything seem possible.”
“Peggy and I don’t have any history that might help us out now.”
“Not having a history can be a good thing. No leftover hurt, no past behavior to atone for.”
Neill looked him in the eyes. “Want to grab a beer sometime? I work a crazy schedule most days, but I’d enjoy getting out to the pub some night if you’re interested. I bought a lovely old Victorian house on the edge of town that you might find interesting. The woodwork’s outstanding.”
At the man’s words, Rory was suddenly aware of how much he’d like to have a male friend. He missed his team leader, Grant Williams, his closest friend and a man he admired for his devotion to his aid work. “A beer some night would be great. I don’t work nearly the hours that you do, or carry that kind of responsibility, but a night out is just what I need.”
“Then let’s do it.” Neill gave him his private cell phone number. “You can reach me on this.”
“You’re the one with the heavy schedule. Call me any evening and I’d be game to go.” He passed his business card to Neill.
“Thanks, I will.”
Rory left the clinic area, encouraged by Neill’s admission and anxious to drop by to see Peggy for a few minutes. He wanted to explain how he felt, why he wasn’t quite ready to be involved in a relationship. When he reached her clinic area, there was a lineup and he could hear a child screaming in the room behind the desk. Not a good time to pay her a visit. He’d call her later when she got off work.
In the meantime, he had another job to go to, this time down by the harbor. The old pool hall had been closed, but a group of teenagers had started using it as a hangout. The new owners had liability concerns and wanted the building rendered closed and the exterior areas cleaned up. A large floodlight was to be installed near the old entrance to the building. He’d have to get an electrician for that part, but the rest he’d manage on his own. Climbing into his truck, he checked his cell phone. No new messages.
* * *
PEGGY’S DAY HAD been filled with crying children, older people who didn’t hear well and needed her to talk louder, and the phone never seemed to stop ringing: all of it leaving her with a pounding headache when she finally got off work. Despite all the activity, she couldn’t keep her thoughts off Rory and last night. After his strange behavior on the beach, when they got to her house, he’d made it clear he wanted to come in with her. She’d been totally confused.
She wasn’t going to tolerate being treated like some pathetic, lovesick woman. She’d lived through one of those scenarios with a man she’d dated a couple of times back in Seattle. She’d believed he shared her feelings, only to discover that he told one of her friends she was needy. An unpleasant scene had ensued, during which she told the man she didn’t want to see him again. He was either deaf or stupid. He showed up at her parents’ house where they lived in Seattle as if nothing happened, as if she hadn’t broken it off.
If sex was all Rory wanted, he was about ten years too late for that. She learned early in her search for a man that having sex was meaningless if it was done simply to pretend an intimacy that didn’t exist. She remembered how she once believed that having sex was the beginning of making a commitment. How wrong she’d been. Lesson learned, she mused.
Life always seemed so complicated once there was a man in it. So often it felt as if what they wanted and how they felt suddenly became more important than any other aspect of the relationship. She sighed. Rory MacPherson was completely wrong for her, regardless of how charming he was, or how much she was attracted to him. They didn’t share the same values. He was a man who lived life in the moment, one moment at a time. He didn’t worry about tomorrow, lucky for him. In contrast, she didn’t take risks if she could avoid them. It made her uneasy to find herself faced with uncertainty. She needed to feel in control, prepared for whatever happened next, not flying by the seat of her pants like Rory did.
In her experience, the one way to limit risk was to plan ahead, to know where the pitfalls were in any situation. Her dad had taught her that. He’d lived and worked in several different countries where if you didn’t have a plan, didn’t know the country and its customs, things could become complicated. Marcus Anderson was one of the smartest people she’d even known, and he’d taught her how to live her life. To prepare for the future and to learn from the past. Her father had been right, as far as she was concerned.
She fed Zeus and Suzie, then cleaned up the kitchen. She’d have a relaxing soak in the tub, read for a while and forget about Rory, about whether or not they had a future together. Her future held more urgent issues for the moment.
There had been a message on her phone from Dr. Brandon’s office. He wanted to see her. She tried not to think about what might happen tomorrow. Deep in her heart she wished she could call her mom, share her fears. All she had to do was pick up the phone. It would be three hours earlier in Seattle.
She filled the tub, put in some of her favorite bath salts and lit the candles along the wall. She’d worry about calling her mother after tomorrow. Tonight she needed to relax and hope that she could get to sleep.
When Peggy got to Neill’s office the next morning, her palms were sweaty and her head still hurt. She’d slept two hours total and was now facing a long day that could go either way. When the receptionist called her name, she went in and sat down.
Dr. Brandon walked in and closed the door behind him. She held her breath as she met his glance.
“You don’t have cancer. The biopsy showed a benign cyst.”
“No cancer,” she echoed, her voice breaking. She’d been so afraid, so anxious about what cancer would mean to her, to her life, that she’d forgotten that the test could come back negative.
“No cancer,” he confirmed. “However, with the history of breast cancer in your family, you need to have mammograms regularly. I need you to fill out a family history form so that we can determine your risk.”
How could she fill out a family history when she didn’t know who her biological father was? As for her mother, she supposed that at some point she could email her and find out about her family’s incidence of breast cancer. Of course, having a mother with breast cancer was a huge concern, but her mother had been okay since her first incident.
She thanked Dr. Brandon and left his office, heading over to the clinic to tell Gayle and Sherri her good news. She parked her car and hurried into the clinic area. Gayle looked up as she approached the desk. “How did it go?”
“I’m okay,” she said as tears of relief filled her eyes.
Gayle came around the desk and wrapped her in a hug. “I knew it.”
“I didn’t. When Dr. Brandon walked into the room, I was sure he was going to give me bad news. What an awful feeling! To have him say the cyst was benign was such a relief.”
Sherri rushed toward them from down the hall. “Peggy. Tell me,” she demanded.
“No cancer,” Gayle said, releasing Peggy.
“That’s great news. Why don’t we go ou
t tonight to celebrate? We haven’t done that in ages. We could have supper at the pub.”
“Sure. That sounds great. I’ll have to go home first and look after my horses,” Peggy said.
“Okay. Let’s do it. I’ll get supper ready for Adam and meet you at the pub.” Gayle stopped. “Oh, wait a minute. Adam has a group project he has to work on tonight.”
“Not to worry. Morgan is in his group. I’m sure Neill can drive them and pick them up. He’s not on call tonight.”
“Maybe you’d rather spend the evening with him,” Peggy said, remembering the wedding and the wonderful ceremony. She also remembered sitting out most of the dances.
“It’s okay. He’s off on the weekend, and we’re planning a trip to Boston. He wants to take Morgan and me to a baseball game.”
“That sounds like fun. Okay, you two, I’ll see you at the pub around six. Would that work?” Peggy asked.
“Are you going to tell Rory your good news?”
Peggy chewed her lip, glanced from Gayle to Sherri and back again. “I’m not sure about Rory. I mean, I told him about the biopsy, but he was so flippant about it. He made me feel like I was worrying about nothing.”
“Turned out he was right,” Gayle said.
“That’s not the point. I needed him to take my concerns seriously. I felt like he wasn’t. When I called him on it, he denied it. It just didn’t feel right to me. And then we were out to dinner last night, and he...” She looked at her hands. “He... One minute he seems excited to be with me, and the next he’s acting like I’m in the way. And he’s so distant at times, so hard to read. One minute he’s fun, the next withdrawn. As if he’d rather be somewhere else. I wonder if going out with him in the first place was a mistake.”
“Why? You’ve enjoyed being with him, haven’t you?” Sherri asked.
“Yeah. But Rory’s not into anything more than the present tense, if you know what I mean.”
“Maybe he’s afraid of commitment,” Gayle offered.
“So what if he is? I’m not asking him to commit to anything. I just want to have fun.” That wasn’t strictly true. She wanted more than that, and she was disappointed by his attitude. “I’m not sure what he wants.”
“Do you suppose he’s not sure, either? What would happen if you talked to him, explained how you felt?” Sherri asked. “It made a big difference to Neill and me. Still does.”
“It’s different for you. You and Neill are in love,” Peggy said. “You trust him not to hurt your feelings.”
“If you ask me, you and Rory are both afraid of commitment,” Gayle said.
“What do you mean?” Peggy said, a little surprised by Gayle’s suggestion.
“You’re not a risk taker. Admitting that you’re emotionally involved with a person is risky business,” Gayle said. “I should know. Remember how afraid I was that Nate couldn’t possibly love someone like me? I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into believing that he even cared.”
“I hear you. But you seem to forget that I packed up and moved all the way across the country to Eden Harbor, a place I’d never been before and where I knew no one. I’d call that pretty risky, wouldn’t you?”
“That’s not the kind of risk I’m talking about,” Gayle said, giving her a knowing smile. “I’m talking about risking your heart, your feelings.”
“It may not be the same thing. But it doesn’t make you right about whether I’m a risk taker is all I’m saying,” Peggy argued.
“Okay. Enough, you two. I’ll see you both at Rigby’s,” Sherri said, picking up a chart and heading down the hall toward the exam rooms.
* * *
LATER, AROUND SIX in the evening, they reached the pub and found a booth across from the bar. Country music pulsed from the speakers. The smell of French fries soaked the air.
“I think the last time the three of us were here together was for your birthday, wasn’t it, Peggy?” Sherri asked, scooting across the wooden bench to let Gayle sit down next to her.
Peggy sat down across from them, feeling so lucky to have the two of them as her best friends. “Was it that long ago?”
“I remember that night only too well. I joined a group huddled around the respiratory therapist—hot though he was—to discover that he was not nearly as hot as he thought he was,” Gayle said, adjusting her sparkling diamond on her ring finger.
“Just think. If you’d stuck with me you would have met Nate a lot sooner than you did,” Sherri said, her eyebrows dancing.
“As I remember that evening. You didn’t stay around long enough to introduce anyone to anybody. You went off home, leaving me to find my own way,” Gayle said, pretending to pout.
“Don’t kid with me. You can take care of yourself,” Sherri said.
The waiter arrived, and Peggy recognized him immediately. “Marty Smith, I didn’t know you worked here.”
“I like to make a little extra. Sylvie and I want to send Tony to day camp next summer. How are you doing? Thanks for all the help you’ve given Tony. He’s reading a lot better. We really appreciate it. I was going to talk to you about riding lessons the next time you’re at the house,” Marty said.
“It would be so much fun to teach Tony how to ride.” If Tony liked Suzie and Zeus, she’d give the parents a break on the cost of the lessons. She introduced Marty to Gayle and Sherri.
Marty smiled in welcome. “I’m your waiter for tonight, ladies. I’ll take your drink orders and leave the food menus with you.”
“I’ll have a Coors draft,” Peggy said.
“Same for me,” Gayle chimed in.
“Ginger ale for me,” Sherri said.
“Have you got an upset tummy?” Gayle asked after Marty left the table.
Sherri’s smile was shaky. “No. Well, yes, just a little.”
“Is your blood sugar okay?”
Sherri picked up her food menu. “Yes, I checked it just before I left home,” Sherri said.
They sipped on their drinks, gave their orders when Marty returned—seafood casserole with rice for Sherri, chicken quesadillas for Peggy and Gayle—and settled in for a quiet chat while they waited for their food. “By the way, what does either of you know about Ned Tompkins?” Peggy asked.
“He was in my class in high school. He didn’t play sports and he didn’t take part in most school activities except the debating club. He was pretty good at that,” Sherri said.
“He was here the night of Peggy’s birthday party, right? Wasn’t he dancing with you, Sherri?” Gayle asked.
“You’re right. Yeah, he was talking to me about how a reunion of our high school class would be a good idea now that Neill had moved home. I think he was hoping to see what I’d say on the subject of Neill. Half the town was waiting to see what would happen between Neill and me,” Sherri said ruefully.
“The biggest romance to hit Eden Harbor ever, and I was here for it. Part of the wedding party, as well,” Gayle said.
“What else do you know about Ned?” Peggy asked, drawing quizzical glances from both of the other women.
Sherri stirred her ginger ale with her straw, forcing bubbles to rise up the glass. She took a sip before answering. “Not much. Although he was an A student, he didn’t go to college. He took a job at the supermarket. His parents died a few years ago and left him and his sister, Lisa Sherwood, financially well-off. I’ve heard that neither Ned nor Lisa need to work again if they don’t want to.”
“Did he ever have a girlfriend?” Peggy asked.
“He dated one of the girls in the year behind us, but her family moved away from here before she graduated. Other than that, I don’t remember anyone in particular. Why are you asking all these questions?” Sherri said.
“In all the time I’ve lived on my farm, he mostly kept to himself, helpful and all that. Lately he’s been asking me questions...”
Gayle sat up straight and looked directly at Peggy. “What kind of questions?”
“He wanted to know about my relationship
with Coach Cassidy.”
Sherri’s expression was one of shock. “What! Why would he think you had a relationship with the coach?”
Peggy hadn’t planned to say anything to anybody about her conversation with Ned. Somehow, admitting to Ned’s remarks made what he implied real. But now that she’d brought it up, she felt the need to keep going. “Ned told me that Lisa told him that Coach Cassidy was paying too much attention to me, and people were starting to talk, or words to that effect. I don’t have any relationship with Coach Cassidy except on the volleyball court, but since Ned made the insinuation, I can’t help but worry that others may think there’s something going on. You know, once a rumor starts it’s hard to stop.”
“Don’t you worry. No one will be saying anything about you and the coach around either of us,” Gayle said.
“That’s why I wondered if either of you knew anything about Ned, how he spends his time, what his interests are. I guess I was hoping I wasn’t his only preoccupation.”
Sherri patted Peggy’s hand. “Stop worrying. He’s harmless.”
“Peggy’s got a point. What’s he do with his time? Is working at the supermarket all this man wants out of life?” Gayle asked.
“Some people are perfectly content to simply do their job,” Sherri said as Marty returned to their table, sliding a huge tray onto the wait stand while he placed their food in front of each of them.
“Some people don’t get involved in life, and eventually life passes them by,” Sherri said, taking the first taste of her seafood casserole. “Oh, this is so good.”
The plate Marty put in front of Peggy was beautiful with its wheel of chicken, cheese and tomatoes encased in tortillas and a side order of salad and sour cream. She picked up her fork. “I’m starving.”
Peggy watched her friends begin to eat as she played back their comments in her mind. Ned was a man with not much of a past and probably not much of a future. No one special in his life, no plans and probably little opportunity or willingness to break out of the rut he was living in. As much as she didn’t want to think about it, she and Ned had more in common than she cared to admit to. They both lived alone, without parents or children to care for, and no real plans beyond living each day...letting life pass them by.
Sweet on Peggy Page 10