Nate smiled in sympathy. “What a way to find out. I don’t know what to say.”
“Neither do I. I have no idea about how to talk to my daughter, how to tell her the truth or how she’ll react. It will be one hell of a surprise to her, given that Marcus Anderson is the name on her birth certificate.”
Nate leaned closer. “This seems like quite the coincidence, the two of you living in the same town all this time. You’re sure Peggy doesn’t know about you? She moved here. Maybe she wanted to be near you, and maybe she doesn’t know how to approach you about it.”
“I can’t believe she wouldn’t have said something by now. She’s on the volleyball team I coach, and she’s lived here for two years. If she chose Eden Harbor to get to know me, or for us to spend time together, why wait so long? What would have kept her from telling me?”
“True. What you say makes sense.”
“So, that’s where it all stands. For now at least.”
“Have you talked to Ellen?”
“I’m planning to call Ellen before I approach Peggy.” He gripped the edge of the desk as anger burned through him. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive Ellen for keeping Peggy from me, depriving me of the single most important thing in my life. I love kids. That’s why I became a physical education teacher in this school. Kids have been the focus of my life. But to answer your question, I need to have Ellen tell me the truth about my daughter.”
“That’s really too bad. Don’t know how I’d feel if I were you right now. I’ve always wanted children,” Nate said, meeting his glance. “I don’t want to add to your difficulties, but you know you shouldn’t be going out to Peggy’s place without her permission. Such behavior could be seen as stalking.”
How could he have been so stupid? He’d gone to her place on a whim, hoping to find her home. When he discovered her tack room open, and the mess it was in, he went to work. Why hadn’t he thought about how his innocent trip to Peggy’s home would look to anyone but him? He scrubbed his fingers through his hair, embarrassed by what he’d done so innocently. “You’re right. I wanted to be helpful. It won’t happen again.”
“You realize that one of us has to tell Peggy. She’s worried and concerned, as you can imagine.”
“Yeah. You’re right. I’ll call her and apologize.”
Bill was shocked that someone would insinuate that his intentions where Peggy was concerned were dark or manipulative, but he also realized that Nate was telling him as a friend. His attempt to do something nice for his daughter was being questioned as if he were some sort of pervert.
But it was a lucky break that Nate had brought this to his attention, or it might have turned out to be even more embarrassing if Peggy had gone to the police. He needed to talk to Peggy, get this all out in the open. “Thank you for telling me about this. I really appreciate it.”
“Glad I could help,” Nate said. “I’d better get back. Gayle and I are going out this evening.”
Bill didn’t usually feel envious of other people, but this was different. What he wouldn’t give to be going out for the evening with a woman he loved. “Enjoy yourself.”
After Nate left, Bill went home, hot anger coursing through him. The longer he thought about it, the angrier he got. He thought the anger over Ellen’s behavior had eased, but thinking about the teenager Nate had talked about, then having Nate remind him of how he’d basically been sneaking around his own daughter’s property, embarrassing himself, had brought back all the feelings he’d been trying to suppress.
Once inside his home, he found Ellen’s phone number in the PI’s report and called her. When she picked up the phone, he knew her voice instantly. “Ellen.”
“Yes. Who’s this?”
Did she not have caller ID? “It’s Bill Cassidy.”
There was a pause, then an audible gasp. “Bill!” Her phone clattered onto the floor. A few minutes later she came back on the line. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. It’s been a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“How do you think I am? Why didn’t you tell me I had a daughter, and that she has been living here in Eden Harbor for the past two years?”
The silence on the other end of the line gave Bill a moment of satisfaction. Now it was her turn to feel a little of what he’d been feeling.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You can start with why you walked out of my life without saying goodbye, without bothering to tell me I was going to be a dad.”
“Bill, I’m sorry for everything I did back then. Everything I did to you, to us. But I couldn’t face a lifetime in Eden Harbor, and you wouldn’t consider living anywhere else.”
He wanted to deny her words but couldn’t. It was true. He had never wanted to live anywhere but here. “You could have talked to me.”
“You always changed the subject.”
“I’m not changing the subject now. I want to know why you didn’t tell me about Peggy.”
“There is no excuse or explanation that will make sense to you. I left, afraid you’d follow me and find out that I was expecting our baby. But you didn’t. My mother knew where I’d gone. She told me you called a couple of times. When you didn’t try to reach me, I assumed you didn’t care enough to find me.”
“That’s not true! You walked out on our lives without any warning.”
“And you made no attempt to find me.”
“I was angry, hurt and embarrassed. You told people here that you were moving to Boston, but no one had a forwarding address. How could you do that to me? To us? We were supposed to be getting married when I finished college.”
“Did you ask me to marry you?”
“No. I wanted to have a job before I proposed.”
“Did you really think that you having a job would have changed my answer to your proposal?”
He sucked in air, his chest hurting from her question. “Why didn’t you say something about the baby?”
“Because you were wrapped up in your degree program, and I was stuck in Eden Harbor without you, holding down a job I despised.”
“You didn’t tell me that.”
He heard her sigh, and his heart seemed to stretch in his chest. “Ellen, I’m really sorry that we didn’t talk more. I had this idea in my head about how our life would go, that whatever we wanted would be ours.”
“No, Bill. It was what you wanted in life that mattered. When I left Eden Harbor, I enrolled in an interior design program, something that gave me so much happiness. When I met Marcus, he listened to me. We fell in love. When I told him I was expecting a baby, that he wasn’t the father, I took a terrible risk. But I couldn’t lie to him. He wanted to be Peggy’s dad, and he was in every possible way.”
Her words cut straight through him. “If you and this Marcus Anderson person were so happy, why couldn’t you tell me about Peggy?”
“Do you have children?” she asked.
“No. I never married,” he confessed, feeling so vulnerable to the love he still had for this woman despite everything she’d done to him.
“Why?” she asked.
He hesitated. “That’s really none of your business,” he said, wishing the conversation hadn’t gone in this direction. Trying to get back on track, he said, “Why didn’t you tell Peggy about me?”
It was her turn to hesitate. “I didn’t, and that was a terrible mistake. She found out after Marcus died, and she blamed me for keeping her from her biological father. She moved all the way across the country to get away from me. I was shocked when she bought a property outside Eden Harbor. I should have told her about you at that point, but I was still mourning the loss of my husband. I wasn’t able to do what needed to be done in my own life, not to mention hers. I really hoped that I’d be able to talk to her, explain everything, but she hasn’t spoken to me since she moved to the East Coast.”
“So she doesn’t know anything about me. Does she know you grew up in Eden Harbor?”
“Yes, she doe
s.”
Bill gritted his teeth in disgust. “You didn’t tell her who I was.”
“Peggy wasn’t very inquisitive about my past. She was so used to moving around, to our lifestyle—because of Marcus’s job we moved around a lot—she accepted things as they were. It wasn’t until Marcus died that she started asking questions.”
“And you never mentioned me.”
“No. All she knew was that Marcus wasn’t her dad. I don’t know if she ever tried to find you.”
Now he understood why Peggy had been asking him about Ellen Donnelly that day at the high school. How he wished he could live that day over again. He might have known about his daughter a lot sooner. “How could you let this happen?”
“I...I wanted my life to go on the way it had all those years with Marcus. I never expected Peggy to question anything. I understand why she’s angry with me, but she won’t allow me a chance to tell her about it, to explain a little. And even if she did speak to me again, it would be to find out her father’s name. I miss her so much. I shouldn’t have let her leave without telling her the truth. I want to tell her everything, but I don’t have any idea how to go about it.”
“Why didn’t you come to Eden Harbor? It’s been two years.”
“Because I was afraid that she would refuse to see me, that I’d be reminded once again what I’d done to her, to you, my parents.”
“Why didn’t you come home when they died?” he said, angry with her again.
“We were living in Indonesia at the time. There had been a typhoon, and all the phones were out. I didn’t find out for a week, and when I did, it was too late to come home to the funeral.”
“You didn’t see any reason to come home one last time in their memory?”
“They were living in the Fairview Assisted Living Condominiums. They’d made funeral arrangements long before I left home.”
He couldn’t believe how self-absorbed and thoughtless Ellen had become. “Were you always this selfish?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Bill, have you forgotten that my mother was forty-two when I was born? My dad was fifty-five. My mother had dementia for years. She and my dad lived in assisted living while my dad tried to care for Mom. I’ll never believe that their accident was really an accident. I believe that my dad couldn’t face losing any more of my mom. I think they went out for that drive intending never to come back,” she said, a catch in her voice.
Bill remembered the accident very well. Matthew Donnelly still had a car, had been driving right up until his death. He had taken his wife, Sarah, out for a drive along the coast road leading to Cranberry Point, had lost control and the car plummeted into the ocean.
“Well, that’s all in the past. We need to concentrate on the future. I am going to talk to Peggy, to tell her who I am.”
“When are you going to do that?” Ellen asked, her anxiety radiating through the connection.
“I’m calling her today and arranging to visit her farm. I’d take her out for coffee or lunch, but this conversation needs to be held in private.”
“Bill, if you wouldn’t mind, could you let me know once you’ve set a time with her?”
“Why?”
“Because I want to be available should she decide to call me. I promise to support you any way I can. It’s the only chance I’ll have to make it up to her and to you.” He heard her quiet sob. Longing for the past they’d shared wound itself around his heart. How had they reached this point? Why had the past they shared, and their love for each other, been taken from them? What would he give for only one moment of the happiness he’d known with her?
He took a deep breath, hardening his resolve toward the woman who took his love and tossed it over for another man. He didn’t owe her anything after all these years and all the hurt she’d caused him. But he did want to do what was right where his daughter was concerned. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Thank you so much,” she said just before the line went dead, leaving him with his feelings of loss over what might have been.
* * *
HE ENDED UP not making the phone call until the next afternoon after work. Talking to Ellen made him suddenly aware of how his meeting with his daughter might go. Getting in touch after all this time might prove difficult. It was possible that she knew he was her father, that he lived only a few miles from her. If so, she would probably tell him to get lost when he called. Yet the compulsion to make contact with Peggy forced his personal concerns to the back of his mind. He had no choice but to get in touch with her. He had to know if she knew about him. He’d make the call and be as gentle and kind as he could, telling her everything she needed to know.
He counted the number of rings, waiting for Peggy to pick up. He couldn’t leave a message. After Nate had alerted him to what appeared in her eyes to be suspicious behavior, he’d wondered if she might have found out from her neighbor about him being there. If she had, she almost certainly wouldn’t respond well to a message.
“Hello?” Peggy said, her voice uncertain.
“Hi. It’s Coach Cassidy. How are you?” he asked, feeling suddenly very ill at ease.
“I’m fine.”
He could feel the sweat on his palms, the racing of his heart and didn’t know if he could go through with it. Maybe he should have waited, talked to her mother a little bit about Peggy’s life growing up to prepare him, to demonstrate his interest in her. Yet talking about her mother would almost certainly be the wrong move, given what Ellen had said about their relationship. “Look, I’ll get straight to the point. I need to see you as soon as possible.”
“Is something wrong?”
“No. Not at all. I need to talk to you, to explain something,” he said, realizing how awkward he must sound.
After a long pause, she said, “Why don’t you come over now?”
His relief was almost as powerful as his fear. Yet there was no turning back now. He was committed to doing this. He’d made the call and he had to follow through. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Placing the private investigator’s report on the seat beside him, he drove carefully, his mind racing over all the possible ways he might begin the conversation. Should he simply come out and tell her? Should he talk about his past, about growing up in Eden Harbor, about how he knew her mother? Should he ask her what she knew about her birth father? Ellen had no idea if Peggy had searched for him, but with little to go on, a search would have been difficult.
He was at her driveway before he knew it, his blood pounding in his ears as he eased into her yard. She was waiting outside for him. So, she was clearly anxious to hear what he had to say without allowing him into her home; a careful move on her part. A woman living alone had to be aware of her own safety.
Clutching the private investigator’s report, he got out of the car and walked toward her. He could see her mother’s eyes when she searched his face for an explanation. “I won’t take up too much of your time,” he said, wanting to put her at ease. “Is there somewhere we can sit down and talk? It doesn’t have to be inside,” he hastened to add.
“Over there by the tack room.” She pointed to a wooden bench looking as if it had been propped along the wall.
“Sure.”
He followed her, sitting down next to her. His daughter. His only child. “Peggy, I have something to tell you. This is really an unusual situation, to say the least.” He looked at the pages he held in his hand, searching for the right words. “Thirty years ago your mother and I were in love. We planned to marry when I finished college. I came home on my spring break my third year, believing that we were going to be together forever. When I got home after working all summer in Portsmouth, she had left Eden Harbor without saying a word.”
“I knew Mom lived here. That’s why I came here.”
“Yes. She grew up here...with me. We went to the same high school. She played volleyball, as well.”
“What? My mother would have told m
e about you. She knew where I moved to, about my farm.”
“And you were born in Virginia Beach?”
Peggy’s glance was suspicious. “How do you know that?”
He dodged the question, which wasn’t what he wanted to do, but somehow telling her that he’d hired a PI didn’t sound very good regardless of the reasons for doing so. “Remember the day at the high school when you were asking questions about Ellen Donnelly?”
“Of course. You were almost rude with me.” Peggy’s eyes were dark with emotion when she looked his way.
“That’s because I couldn’t figure out why you were asking about Ellen. And you didn’t offer an explanation.”
“I wanted to know what you knew about my mother.”
If only he dared to reach out and touch his daughter, the child he’d never known. Instead, he drew in a deep breath, focusing on the words he needed to say. “I have information I’d like to share with you. Something I’m sure you’ll want to know.”
“Like what?” she asked, a challenging tone in her voice.
This was not going quite the way he had expected, but he should have considered how Peggy would respond when she learned the truth about her mother. Once again he found himself flooded with anger and resentment over Ellen’s callous behavior. Afraid how Peggy might respond to what he had to say next, he couldn’t look at her. Instead, he stared at his hands crushing the pages he held. “I’m your father.” He heard his voice as if from afar, as if someone else had said the words.
Peggy gasped and slid to the corner of the bench. “You can’t be. You’re not telling the truth. Why would you do that?”
“I’m telling you the truth. I’m your father,” he repeated the words, aware that Peggy’s glance held only contempt. He tried again. “We were going to be married when Ellen left Eden Harbor without one word about being pregnant with you.”
“How can you be so sure? And why are you telling me this now?”
He wanted to put his arm around his daughter, to console her. Seeing the look on her face made such behavior impossible. “Because I just learned what happened. When she left, she didn’t tell me we were expecting a baby. She walked out on our life, on our plans and on our love for each other.”
Sweet on Peggy Page 12