And this bra was disgusting. Gina scrunched her face in revulsion and marched to the dresser, pawing through the drawer for something newer. Anything even remotely nicer that might put her girls back in place.
That old ratty bra was definitely not doing her any favors. She found a plain satin one in coral—her favorite color—purchased a few years back after listening to the perky little salesgirl in Victoria’s explain what size she should truly be wearing. Which at the time, had seemed preposterous.
Not anymore, baby! Gina was shocked at how quickly her confidence lifted. The smile that dragged the corners of her mouth up was nothing compared to the gleam reflected back in her mirror self’s eyes. Now that she had on slightly better fitting undergarments and had chucked the nasty old standbys into the bathroom trash, Gina made a decision.
Her eyes flickered over to the clock on her nightstand. Only 5:45am. That left a little over an hour for the system to find a substitute EA. On second thought, she texted a sub they used frequently and was grateful for the rapid reply, confirming the woman would be glad to take the job. Next, she sent a text to Brynn for the afternoon shift.
For the first time in years, Gina was going to give herself a mental health day.
This girl had some shopping to do.
Chapter 15
“Go! It’s quiet and there are hardly any kids left. Go over to the teacher bathroom and get yourself fixed up.”
Brynn practically shoved Gina out the door.
“Brynn! Get a grip, girl! I’ll go when I’m good and ready!”
Which might be never.
“And don’t you have to leave already? I thought you had class.”
“And miss the chance to see you off on your big date? No way. I already emailed my prof an excuse. I’ll close things up for you tonight. Call Jaydon and let him know you can be there by six!”
Brynn’s cheery sweetness was normally one of the things she adored about her friend. Tonight, however, it was irritating the snot out of her and driving her insane.
Then again, she may have lost her mind completely somewhere in the past thirty-six hours.
“Lady, you are not going to chicken out of this.” Brynn gave her a fiercely determined look. “I have known for over a year that you and Jaydon would be perfect for each other. Think about that for a minute, will you? Over a year. That means, before you started your whole transformation thing, I knew. Those few minutes back in January when you two finally met? Josh and I both saw it. Why are you freaking out? You look amazing.”
Good heavens. Could Brynn possibly be more expressive? Before Gina could cut in, she resumed her well-intended tirade.
“Tell me again—why have you been hiding that figure behind baggy, relaxed fit, boot cut jeans and too-loose, shapeless shirts? I’m a little hurt you decided to go shopping without me, too. I’ve been trying to get you to come with me for years!”
Brynn wasn’t exaggerating, either. Gina acknowledged she’d been avoiding shopping with her average height, slender, thin-legged, Barbie doll bestie. When you’ve been riding the weight-loss roller coaster for too many years, shopping with an extra small doesn’t hold much appeal.
Of course, having discovered yesterday that she was now a voluptuous no-X, regular old large, she might be a little more open to tagging along with Brynn. Gina couldn’t remember the last time she’d tried on brand new clothes. She’d found a pair of “curvy” jeggings that fit like they’d been made for her. Jeggings! Gina was still mystified.
“Girl, you do realize who you’re talking to, right? I don’t do shopping.”
“Uh, then what do you call taking a day off out of the clear blue and showing up the next day with a fabulous haircut, in a whole new trendy outfit that actually fits you? You went shopping.”
“Not like I had much choice. I needed a haircut and a new bra.”
“So you went and got a whole makeover? Without me?! I love the highlights, by the way.”
Gina hugged her friend.
“Brynnie, you gotta let it go. It was something I needed to do alone. Not because I didn’t want you there, but because I wasn’t sure how I’d handle the whole dressing and undressing in front of a mirror while locked in a tiny room thing.”
“You still get twitchy in enclosed spaces?”
“Yeah, sometimes. If the lighting is good and I use the wheelchair or family stall, it’s not as bad. Going yesterday was nice because the stores weren’t too busy.”
Brynn nodded, her sweet smile revealing her true feelings. “I’m not really upset, G. I mean, I would have loved to have been there to see the smile on your gorgeous face when you realized how great you look. I would have been there to support you if you started to lose it. But I get it. At least, I think I do.”
Brynn tried, but she’d never fully be able to understand, not really. Not unless she’d gone through weight struggles and trauma of her own, and Gina wouldn’t wish her past on anyone. Especially not Brynn. Brynn was goodness and light and innocence. She should stay that way.
“Now go!” Brynn insisted, pointing toward the door.
Gina laughed. “Okay! Okay! I’m going, Bossy!”
She gathered the tote she’d brought in anticipation of her date with Jaydon. She’d agreed to meet him at his place since it wasn’t far from Cordova. Shuffling down the obnoxiously loud ramp and over to the adjacent restroom building, Gina realized her cheeks were aching.
When was the last time she’d smiled so much her cheeks hurt? The past two days it felt like that’s all she’d done. It felt amazing! Especially after that freaky attack. She’d needed to feel back in control of herself. I am back, baby!
She had no idea where Jaydon planned to take her, so she decided to keep on the jeggings she was wearing, which were already her new favorite article of clothing. She changed out of her SAEC tee and into a slightly loose high-low top paired with a long cami underneath. A new extra-long necklace with colorful beads, dangling earrings, and a set of bangles completed the look.
The mirror in this building was terrible—the cheap, foggy plastic coating prevented it from breaking but distorted everything. It would have to do. She stepped as closely as she could to it with her new makeup bag and made touchups.
Four steps back and she nearly bumped the wall behind her. At this distance, she could see more of her outfit and discovered that even though this mirror wasn’t even close to accurate, she still looked pretty good. Was it really just a month or so ago she was comparing herself to the Hulk in this very mirror?
Why had she let a few pounds discourage her so badly? How could she have let her confidence plummet to such a low that she didn’t even really try to look good for so long?
And the million-dollar question…what had sparked Jaydon’s interest? What had he seen when he’d looked at her in those ill-fitting, thrown-on clothes? Could it be possible that a man could truly see beyond the outward and be attracted to who she was?
It certainly hadn’t been like that for her before. Ever since she’d discovered how to dress herself in ways that accentuated her assets at fifteen, she’d gotten used to the attention from guys who appreciated her looks. That is, until she hit her early twenties and the stress over her mother and holding down two, and eventually three, jobs led to packing on the pounds.
The day she’d turned eighteen, a permanent home became her singular obsession. College hadn’t even been a thought in her mind, knowing that just graduating was a feat with how unstable her life at home had always been. Scholarships might have been available, but she didn’t even know what she would have studied.
Besides, at that point, Tonya had long moved out and left Gina alone with the responsibility for caring not only for herself, but their mother.
She’d worked her way through high school just to make sure there was enough to eat and put gas in the car she’d managed to buy herself on a meager wage. Not to mention having to set aside money to pay rent when Eva overlooked it.
She’d taken a
second job after they’d been evicted, again, and the new apartment complex had insisted Gina be on the lease because she was of legal age.
Somehow, by the grace of God, she’d managed to scrape together enough to qualify for a no-down-payment home loan on her small fixer upper by the time she was 23. It had been the fulfillment of her heart’s biggest dream. Finally, she had stability and freedom. And control.
No more getting kicked out, no more wondering if there would be another bright-colored notice on the door when she came home. No more walking in to the sounds of her mother’s night time activities or finding the skin-and-bones woman in yet another terrifying scene.
By 25, though, she’d realized a third job was necessary. She’d nearly lost her mother that year, and as much of a relief it might have been on one hand, Gina was grateful God had spared the lost and broken soul. She was even more grateful, today, knowing that the very same soul was now a sister in Christ with a hope for the future.
But…Gina shuddered at the images she could still see if she closed her eyes. That night…when she’d realized she had almost lost her mom, and those next days after…. The eviction notice on the horrendous apartment door—if anyone could even call it an apartment. Hovel would be more accurate. Dump with a door was blunt reality.
Realizing how immaculate her tiny, older home was and her mother was living in a place unfit for human habitation. Then learning how deeply in debt her mother was—not only to actual creditors, but to vile, disgusting monsters disguised as drug-dealing men.
As soon as it had been financially feasible, she’d purchased the duplex her mother now occupied and rented out the other half. The income from that basically paid the mortgage. Even if it hadn’t, the peace of mind she received knowing that her mother at least had a decent place to come home to was worth every hour she worked to finance it.
She blinked hard a few times in rapid succession to clear the barrage of feelings her memories set off.
This was going to be a wonderful night, and she felt good. A spark of resolve ignited a blaze of determination in her belly. She was made of so much more than she’d given herself credit for. Gina Hernandez was done letting insecurity win.
She’d redefined herself before, she would do it again. This time, though, she had a supportive best friend, a good man, and the love of a savior on her side. The real Gina Hernandez was breaking free.
Chapter 16
Jaydon
“Wow, Gina. You look incredible.”
He let his eyes take in her new outfit slowly. She’d gotten a stylish hairdo, too, with lighter streaks contrasting the dark shades of her long hair. There was something different in her eyes as well. Her cheeks had a sweet pink to them when he complimented her.
He liked it.
“Thank you,” she replied softly. “You look good yourself, mister.”
Ah, man, she had to end that with a wink, didn’t she?
“You are trouble, Gorgeous.” He smirked as he leaned in for a short kiss.
The feel of her soft, glossy lips elicited a groan when they pulled apart. Nope, he needed another quick peck.
Her smile came out then, full wattage, and bright enough to light a northern winter night.
“I’m glad you were able to get off work early. Mind if we take my truck?”
“Not at all. Where are we going?”
This was where it got a little tricky.
“Well,” he paused, “I had an idea I’d like to run by you.”
She shifted slightly and he hoped he wasn’t going to scare her off.
“I thought we might hit up that mercado where Hailee and your mom work first. We could visit with either one or both of them, depending on how it goes. Then we’ll pick up a few things, come back here, and make dinner together.”
Her face was unreadable, but he felt her tension across the bench seat.
“I mean,” he cleared his throat and ran his hand down his jaw and to the end of his beard. “If you want. It’s been two days and youth service is tomorrow night. I’d like to try and connect with Hailee if possible before then, and after our talk Sunday I just thought—”
He was interrupted by her hand gently squeezing his forearm.
“I think it’s a great idea, Jaydon.”
Jaydon carefully turned his head at the next red light to assess for himself if she was being fully truthful. There was no strain in her eyes, and that burst of tension he’d felt moments ago had dissipated.
“Are you sure?” He picked up her hand, laced their fingers, and brought the back of her hand to his lips. “I don’t want to pressure you, but since we’d already talked about it, I didn’t think you’d mind. And if coming back here makes you uncomfortable—,”
“I don’t mind and I’m not uncomfortable. I’ve had a strange couple of days, plus I’m still having trouble wrapping my mind around my mom being someone I might be able to go to for help.”
She let out a disbelieving chuckle and he caught her head shake in his peripheral view.
“It’s so weird, but I can’t even tell you how happy it makes me.”
Jaydon nodded. “Actually, I get it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yep. But that’s a story I’ll share another day.”
“Really.” It came out more like a sentence than a question.
“Yep. Really.” Just as soon as he could work up the nerve to spill his guts.
“I’d like that.”
He pulled up right then at the mercado and parked along the street, the only spot big enough to fit his massive truck. He released her hand just long enough to jog around the truck and help her down before intertwining their fingers once more.
A few steps into the dimly lit market and they saw Hailee at the checkout stand, ringing up an elderly man whose hands trembled as he handed her a few bills. Hailee flashed a sweet smile and handed the man a half-filled plastic bag.
After he left, Hailee glanced over to where Jaydon and Gina stood. Her body stiffened, though she still had that smile frozen in place.
Jaydon approached her with a gentle smile of his own and the girl glanced from him to Gina and rested on their joined hands. Hailee instantly relaxed with a genuine grin.
“Ha! I thought so!”
Her exclamation took Jaydon aback. She laughed at his confusion. Probably the same look he saw on Gina’s face just now.
“I told Harrison after Dino’s the other day that there was something going on between the two of you, and even though he was suspicious, he insisted you didn’t date.”
Gina laughed and gave Hailee a short hug. “It’s new.”
Hailee nodded and gave Gina a sly look.
“Awesome. What can I do for you guys?”
“Actually,” Gina answered for them both, “we just wanted to stop in and say hi to you.”
“Me? Why?”
“No real reason,” Jaydon stepped in. “I like to visit the kids in my youth group from time to time at work. Make sure they know I care; stay connected. It doesn’t work out for everyone, but I try to do it for the ones it does.”
Hailee’s smile was bright and genuine.
“That’s really cool.”
Gina stepped up and gently touched Hailee’s upper arm to get her attention. “Do you know if Eva’s working today?”
Hailee blinked. “Uh, yeah. She’s in the back, clocking out. Want me to go get her?”
“Nah, I’ll catch her when she comes back through. Or is there an employee exit?”
“She’ll come back out front to catch the bus.”
Gina nodded and Jaydon wondered what was going through her mind right then. He didn’t have long to wait, as a petite, thin woman hauling a huge tote came through. She looked older than he knew she probably was, likely due to her years of hard living.
As the woman approached and spotted Gina, her brows lifted and crinkled. Jaydon noticed she had Gina’s eyes—or Gina had her eyes. They were such a similar spice shade and both framed by incredibl
y long lashes that they were striking on both women.
“Mija! What are you doing here?!” Eva’s happy cry filled the small store. Her gaze landed on Jaydon and Gina’s intertwined fingers, and a small, knowing smile crept to her lips.
“Jaydon and I realized that we both knew people who worked here, so we thought we’d stop in and say hello.” Gina released his hand to step into her mother’s arms.
The pair embraced warmly, both closing their eyes as if to savor the positive contact. Jaydon’s chest constricted when he realized how he’d taken his relationship with his parents for granted for so long. What must it be like for Gina to have never known her father, and to only now be establishing a real relationship with her mom?
“You look so pretty, hita. I love what you did with your hair!” Eva gushed in her lilting accent and Gina’s cheeks colored softly.
As the women separated, Jaydon noticed Hailee had returned to her post at the cash register. They were currently the shop’s only occupants. Hailee kept darting curious glances back and forth between the older women.
Jaydon prayed for God to begin opening the right doors, for Hailee to begin asking the right questions, and for Eva to be a positive, motherly influence to Hailee in a way she hadn’t been for Gina. He prayed for Gina, that whatever God was working in her life would be well received and bring her the healing and peace she needed. And finally, he prayed for God to simply do His thing. He dedicated all of these strangely interwoven lives to the Lord’s hands and will.
“…would that work?”
Jaydon looked to Gina and Eva and realized he’d missed something. Their matching eyes were on him, with their right eyebrows both raised expectantly. They looked so completely different from one another, you’d never really know they were related if not for their coloring and those eyes. It almost made him laugh.
“I’m sorry, would what work?”
The side of Gina’s mouth lifted and she tipped her head in an “are you kidding me?!” way.
“I was confirming Thursday night would work to visit mom…talk to her about everything then? See about getting her help?”
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