And the biggest way she clearly recognized the Lord’s fingerprints, handprints, and even footprints?
Her own mother’s testimony and sustained changes. The woman was a whole new person since coming to Christ. She was sticking with her AA/NA programs, going to meetings and engaging with others there. She attended church with her sponsor friend and was constantly telling Gina something new she’d been learning or reading.
The promotion to lead cashier had given her full-time hours and a bump in pay that had given her the confidence to approach Gina, and Gina the confidence to accept her mother’s proposal.
“Mija,” she’d said one evening while helping Gina prep dinner for everyone, “it’s time I start paying my own way. You work three jobs to pay for your home and mine, and it’s time you stop. This promotion isn’t a huge raise, but it’s enough that I can pay for my own groceries, utilities, and whatever other bills I need to. Let me pay you rent. I probably can’t afford to pay what a regular tenant would, but please let me at least try.”
Gina had nearly broken down in tears of praise, because God had seen how stressed she’d been. She needed more time at home with Hailee and Javi. They deserved to be lavished with love and attention and have the freedom to be teenagers instead of constantly shouldering responsibility.
To do that, she needed to give notice to the Johnson family. She’d started praying about it before Hailee and Javi moved in with her and Eva had approached her a few days later. That week one of her students’ moms had mentioned looking for work, and the Johnsons had been impressed enough to hire her on the spot.
See? The Lord was doing incredible things.
Now, at the end of week three, they’d gotten into a whole new routine. Sure, it wasn’t always blissful or easy. Sometimes her eyes bugged out of her head and her jaw tensed while she worked to hold her tongue at Javi’s sullen, unpredictable, pre-teen attitude. Her heart ached when Hailee shrank into herself at even a mild reproach. She was exhausted from working and cooking and cleaning and homework and driving. Good heavens, do all parents drive this much?
But in everything, God was clearly listening, working, providing. Leaving those fingerprints.
“Gina? Am I doing this right?”
Hailee’s soft voice broke through with uncertainty and Gina shook herself back to the present. Right. Final exam prep with Hailee while Javi was at school late for a group project.
“Let me look.” Gina scanned the neatly printed pre-calculus equations and groaned.
“Uh, not sure I’m going to be much help here. I can rock basic algebra like nobody’s business. And for some reason, I remember more theorems and postulates than I’ll ever need in real life. But this is beyond the realm of my understanding, sweet girl.”
Hailee’s shoulders sagged momentarily, but then her face grew brighter.
“Do you think I could call Harrison? Maybe he can meet me at church before youth starts?”
“I think that would be a great idea. You know, if you want, you could invite him over here sometimes. When I’m around, of course. And if you have other friends you want to hang out with from time to time. Summer starts next week and I’m sure you’ll want to keep in touch. I know it’s hard, but I do want you to be able to think of this as your home, even if it’s only for a while.”
“Thanks, Gina. I’m trying. It’s still a little weird. We couldn’t really have friends over before, you know?”
“Yeah. I remember what that was like.”
“How bad was it when you were my age?”
“Sometimes it wasn’t too bad. Other times, it looked like someone had ransacked and robbed the place. My sister and I tried really hard to keep it looking good, but there were plenty of days my mom came home with friends and they partied hard, leaving their paraphernalia everywhere. Coming home to strange people passed out or in various stages of undress….” She shuddered.
“Whoa. I can’t even imagine that. My mom was on some pretty heavy meds, and there were some really hard times, but we were mostly okay. Don’t get me wrong, some parts were really bad, like when Jaydon found me that one time.” The poor girl shivered with the memory.
“I hate that you had to experience that,” Gina said gently. “After my sister moved out, I had to do a lot of the things you’ve been doing. Keep the place clean and my homework done, make sure I looked good and healthy so no one had a reason to suspect what was going on at home. Work too many hours after school because who knew if mom had a job to pay bills or put food on the table. Move when mom got us evicted yet again.”
“We never got evicted, thank God. Mom usually has a job, except it’s been a lot harder since we moved here.”
“What made your mom choose Albuquerque?”
“My dad was from here. He didn’t have any family, but he told stories. After—,” Hailee fidgeted with her shirt. “Um, after an incident in El Paso, we all needed to start over.”
“Can I ask what happened? You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”
“It’s okay. I want to tell you. You didn’t grow up in a perfect life, so I know you get it.”
Her sniff was followed by a loud swallow and Gina scooted closer to put an arm around her. She waited patiently for Hailee to find the words.
“Why don’t you just start at the beginning.”
“Okay,” Hailee agreed. “So, a while back I figured out my mom has always suffered some degree of clinical depression. When Dad was killed, she couldn’t cope. I didn’t know then what depression was, just that my mom stayed in bed a lot, hardly left the house, and didn’t cook or clean anymore.
“At first, people from church would bring food by, but mom was so angry at God that she started sending them away. We didn’t know what to do, so Javi and I spent a lot of time at our friends’ houses. It wasn’t long after that the first investigation happened. It scared mom enough that she pulled it together for a while.”
Gina visualized a younger, disheveled Hailee and much smaller Javi. She imagined wrinkled, dirty, too-small clothes. She pictured them, hair askew, in pajamas sitting in front of the TV and eating whatever they could find in the cupboards.
“Dad’s life insurance ran out so she had to get a job, but in the bad times she’d call in sick too often and get fired. She’d pick herself up for a while and get a new job, pay the bills and stuff, but inevitably it happened again.
“The protective services people came a couple times over the next year or two, after she’d fall back into the dark place. It was always the same every time—she’d get headaches and sleep more. She’d start forgetting things and get really mad at stupid stuff. Then she’d cry and shut herself in her room. She couldn’t do normal mom things like make dinner, clean house, or help with homework. I tried to keep up, but my grades started slipping because I couldn’t do it all.
“One of the times they investigated us I think was because of calls from Javi’s school. He’d been begging his teacher for snacks and food; his pants were short and holey. His feet hurt because his shoes were way too small. Every time they would come, mom would freak out and work really hard again. Those times were so good. It was like we had our mom back, you know?”
Those poor babies. “When did she start using?”
Hailee swallowed hard and played with the white fringe around a hole in her jeans. “I guess at first she kept having her doctor up the dose on her anti-depressants. Then she got a prescription for headaches. Said she couldn’t sleep, so she needed pills for that. When one doctor didn’t give her what she wanted, she’d get it from another. I don’t know exactly when she started getting prescription drugs off the street. Who knows how she even figured out how to get them.”
Hailee shook her head, annoyance and disgust rolling off her almost tangibly.
“I was almost fifteen when I first found her stash. It was a collection of orange bottles—the kind from the pharmacy—most of them with the labels peeled off and a few with other people’s names on them. She must h
ave gotten in deep enough with the wrong people, though, because one night I was on my way home from a friend’s house and this creep stopped me. He said my mom owed him for her week’s supply. When I told him I had no money, he grabbed his crotch and said maybe we could work out a deal.”
The poor girl choked on her words, emotion strangled in her throat. Gina felt sick imagining what might be coming next, but right now Hailee needed someone to listen. She tilted her head to touch Hailee’s and gently pulled her a little closer.
“I ran, but he chased me. He almost had me until I saw our next-door neighbor outside. I just ran right up to her and she grabbed my hand and pulled me into her house. She called the cops, but by the time they got there, the guy disappeared.”
Gina leaned her head to Hailee’s as they sat there for several heartbeats. “I’m so sorry, Hailee.”
Hailee just sat there a few minutes in silence, still picking at her jeans. “That year was the worst. I was so scared it would happen again or worse.” The girl sucked in a huge breath of air and blew it out before going on.
“Anyway, once the cops showed up and I told them what happened, they took us to a foster home. I still don’t know what happened to mom, but when we were allowed to go home, she was her old self again. Losing us got her attention.”
“I would imagine so. But it probably scared the two of you even more than it did her.”
“Yeah. We figured a lot of things out together, though. I’m glad we had each other. I see a lot of my friends always fighting with their siblings, and we’re not like that.”
Gina nodded. “No one else hurt you, though, did they? That creep never got ahold of you?”
“No. Now that I know Jesus, I know it was Him protecting me. We had some hard times, but it could have been a whole lot worse.” Hailee shivered.
Gina did too. It could have been horrific. “I can imagine.” And she did. Someone could’ve hurt her or Javi—or hurt their mom and left them orphans. Their mom could’ve overdosed on a lethal concoction. They could’ve landed in a bad foster home or been separated. Or…stop, Gina. Do not let the rabbit trail send you into a tailspin.
“I’m still so angry with my mom.”
“Oh, I can relate to that, too. Did you know I’ve only been able to handle being in the same room with my mom for the past couple months? I forgave her a long time ago for letting me down and had to forgive again every time she relapsed and tore open those wounds.
“It wasn’t until I saw with my own eyes that she was truly sober and had found Jesus that I realized I hadn’t let go of my anger all the way. God reminded me that forgiveness is a decision, but also a journey. I have to keep doing it and keep making myself let go of the hurt. It belongs to Jesus.”
“I like that. The hurt belongs to Jesus.”
Gina could see Hailee’s mind turning that over and over. She slid up the wall to stand and reached a hand out to help Hailee up. Once on her feet, Gina pulled the girl in for a hug. Hailee hesitated only briefly before sinking into the embrace. Her body sagged against Gina.
Gina listen to the nudge of the Holy Spirit and began to pray over Hailee and Javi aloud. Afterward, she pulled back and tipped up the girl’s chin. Their eyes met and Gina smiled softly.
“You are very brave, Hailee. I have a feeling that God has some seriously big plans for you, girl. I want you to know that no matter what happens from here on out, I’m there for you.”
Hailee gave her a wan smile in return. “Thanks, G. You’re a good listener.”
“I try. Now. You should probably call Harrison about that math stuff before we have to pick up Javi and head to the church.”
Chapter 30
Jaydon
Long lashed eyes the color of cinnamon met his across the large youth room and instantly the world quieted. She was stunning in a bright pinkish-orange top and curve-hugging jeans.
With singular focus, Jaydon made his way through the throng of teenage bodies milling about before service and wrapped Gina in a bear hug. She gazed up at him and he couldn’t hold back the grin on his face.
“Hey, babe. I missed you.”
She laughed. “It’s been, what, a whole day?”
“Twenty-three hours too long.”
“Hmm. I wonder if we could do something about that.”
Was she hinting at what he hoped she was hinting at? Because if so, he was totally on board. Yeah, it was only June, but he was more than ready to move forward. So long as forward meant together with some vows and going home to the same place every night.
He quirked an eyebrow at her, which of course, she matched. He gave her a loud smacking peck on the lips, which was answered with a loud, “Woooooooo!” from several teens in his periphery.
He shook his head and realized he’d set himself up for that bigtime.
“Yeah, yeah,” he laughed, winking at a few of the rowdier kids.
“That hug was awful tight, man!”
“Leave room for the Holy Spirit, Pastor!”
There were other shouts of harassment tossed at them, and Gina bore them all with a wry grin. Yeah, she could handle it. Even if her cheeks were red and she was clearly mulling over a comeback suitable for the audience.
“I see they’re holding you to a pretty high standard, preacher man.”
“I wouldn’t expect any less. Can’t expect them to make good choices without an example.”
She stepped out of his embrace but stayed close to his side under one arm.
“I need to talk to you later,” she whispered. “For now, though, I’m going to go upstairs and leave the kids with you. Javi’s been at school all afternoon working on a project, but he seems to have had a good day. Hailee might be a little emotional. Also, she needs help studying for her math final that I can’t give, but Harrison wasn’t able to make it tonight. Do you think you could look it over or maybe find someone with higher level math skills to give it a glance?”
He chuckled. This had become their new routine the past few weeks since the kids had come to live with her—a daily download and syncing of schedules, like a couple trying to co-parent from separate homes. He was tired of the separate homes thing. Were they ready, though?
“Anything else?”
“Not sure. Javi’s attitude is all over the place, and I’m trying to be patient. I really am. I just don’t think he connects with me quite the same way as Hailee. Which, I guess I expected, but it still makes me sad. I want to help him, too, but he’s so moody. I don’t know if he’s angry with me personally, as the authority figure, at his mom, or just the situation as a whole.”
“Have you heard back from Michele?”
“She was going to get back to me with a couple names of some male counselors. I’ll have to fill you in later on what Hailee told me today. Michele thinks counseling is wise for both of them, and I agree. I think Hailee will probably like Marla, but Javi might feel more comfortable talking to a man. What do you think?”
“He’s a guy. As a rule, talking about feelings isn’t really our thing. But I agree, counseling wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
“Thanks, Jaydon. You want to come home with us after church? We can talk then?”
Home sounded pretty stinking good.
“Sounds like a plan. I better get started. Enjoy the service,” he added with a wink.
“Making up for lost time now that I’m not freaking out about it.” She kissed her fingers and gave him a wave before heading upstairs to the main auditorium.
Later that night, after Javi and Hailee were asleep—or supposed to be—Gina guided Jaydon outside and over to the bench that had become their favorite place to sit and talk in private. He spent the first few minutes reintroducing himself to Gina’s lips as if it had been years instead of a day since he’d last tasted them.
Her response encouraged him to press in closer, though he heard the warning in the back of his mind to keep himself in check. One of her hands was fisting the front of his shirt, the other reaching up the sid
e of his jaw, over his beard and into his hair, pulling him closer. He kept one hand gripping the bench tightly to support them, while the other wrapped around her back, fingers splayed wide along her waist.
Eventually, he pulled away and wrapped both hands around hers. He leaned so their foreheads touched and kissed the tip of her nose.
“Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate. You are altogether beautiful my love; there is no flaw in you.”
The color flooding her cheeks lent truth to the verses he quoted and he grinned.
“His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend,” she responded, her smile sweet and soft. “I love Song of Solomon. It’s so romantic and sensual and yet bizarre at the same time.”
“Aw, you mean it would be weird if I said your hair is like a flock of goats and compared your teeth to freshly washed sheep?” He chuckled when she shook her head, grinning.
“Ooh baby, and what woman wouldn’t find her breasts being compared to baby deer sexy?”
His laughter rumbled through his chest. Hers joined and he kissed her head. It felt so good to be able to laugh with her like this. Had he ever known a woman he could just be goofy with?
The laughter subsided quickly and she leaned her head on his chest, snuggled securely against him. His fingers lightly grazed up and down her back as he held her in his arms. It continued to amaze him how perfectly she fit within them. Even her head came up to just the right place, no awkward angling for them to cuddle or kiss.
“Are you really doing okay with all this?”
“Yeah,” she answered faintly, “it’s a lot to handle, but this is where I’m supposed to be.”
He knew it, too. There’d been no doubt that they were brought together for a purpose. But even beyond his relationship with Gina, which was by itself nothing short of a miracle, things with Hailee and Javi were coming together in a way only the Father could orchestrate.
Whatever Comes Our Way (Everyday Love Book 2) Page 23