“What could the reason be?”
“Guilt,” she said quickly, without thinking.
“Guilt.” Diana repeated. “So your marriage was not all roses and romance?”
Alex laughed harshly. “Hardly. He was having an affair, I was pretending to be a person that I wasn’t, and I... I just don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know who I was all those years. I hate that person.”
“So drop her. You no longer need her protection. And to be frank, Alex, it seems to me that you’ve done a pretty good job of leaving her behind so far. These mountains are just what you need. They don’t call it God’s Country for no good reason,” she added resolutely.
“I’m trying to start a new life. My own business.”
“And you’re doing an excellent job so far. This is a good area to set up stakes in, because our biggest enterprise in this county is tourism. We have a lot of businesses that center on hunters, but precious few that emphasize exploring these wonderful mountains on horseback. I see it working for you, Alex, I really do.”
“Thank you,” she offered graciously. “I hope you’re right.”
“But Alex, the first step to healing yourself, before you can truly move on and succeed here, is forgiveness.”
“Forgiving Richard?”
“Yes. But most importantly, dropping this guilt. You have a right to change and be happy now. Any good man would want that for you.”
Alex drummed her fingertips on the table, thinking. Richard hadn’t exactly been a good sort of man. A strong and giving man. Like Jamie.
“Well, if I succeed in doing all of this forgiving... do you think your son might forgive me for being so... prickly?”
Diana laughed and touched her softly on the cheek. “I don’t think that Jamie would be able to resist such a pretty face even if he wanted to.”
“I don’t want him to... detest me. I intend on treating my new neighbors like family. This, of course, includes raiding your refrigerator at will...”
They laughed together for a moment, and then Diana rose to leave, citing numerous chores to be done. “You’re welcome anytime at our house, Alexandra.”
After Diana had left, with Kiester in tow, happy now with a tidbit in his tummy, Alex remained at the table, rolling the conversation over and over in her mind. Her spirits had been lifted, some of the heaviness was gone from her shoulders, and she felt a strange tremor in her core, a mere glimmer, but it was there nonetheless.
It was not completely new to her, she had felt it once before, but it was many years ago, before she had ever laid eyes on Richard Winters. It was hope.
~~~~~~~
“A toast to new beginnings.”
The first shot of blackberry brandy slithered a hot path to her stomach like liquid fire. Tears stung her eyes initially, but the aftereffects were warm and soothing, and left a sweetly pleasant taste in her mouth.
“Wow,” Alex rasped. “That’s actually pretty good stuff.”
“A shot a day keeps the doctor away,” Aaron commented with a grin. Alex noticed how much it mirrored his brother’s own devilish smile. Aaron had the same head of thick, sandy hair as Jamie, but his eyes were a strange, misty gray color, and his face was the smoother, less rugged face of a younger man. His features were nearly as handsome, however, and filled with that same lazy, self-confidence.
“How old are you, Aaron?”
“Twenty-five,” he replied with a wink. “Not too young at all, I assure you.”
“He’s only twenty-two. Aaron’s always been a little bit too big for his britches,” Diana commented wryly. “Now take those dirty things off awhile. You don’t know the first thing about impressing a young lady. Manners, Aaron. Don’t you remember that word?”
Alex noted that Aaron was not quite too old to flush at his mother’s words. “All right, I get it.” He began shrugging out of the greasy coveralls he’d been working in earlier. “Just pour another round in the meantime. I had a long morning.”
Diana met Alex’s eyes, and rolled her own. “Aaron works at the Chevy Dealership out in Roulette. He’s a grease monkey,” she added teasingly.
“Grease monkey my butt. I’ll be head mechanic by the time I’m twenty-three.”
“I still think you should go to college.”
“I’m making too much money. I’ll have my own business up and running in a couple of years.”
“Aaron is pretty good at fixing vehicles,” Diana admitted.
“Why Jamie always putts around on those John Deere’s, I’ll never understand,” Aaron quipped. “By the way, Alex, I like that Ram turbo diesel I spy out there in the driveway. If you ever need work done on it, you know where to find me. Course, if you get tired of it, I know where to find you a great Chevy truck. Lifted and tuned even.” He winked at her again. “I’ll give you a special discount.”
Alex laughed, shaking her head, while Diana poured another round of brandies. “I’ll make sure I give you my business, Aaron. It’s brand new though, I hope it doesn’t need work any time soon. And somehow I can’t picture myself in a lifted truck.”
“Yet,” Aaron laughed. “And once you do, you won’t go back. By the way, where is that devil brother of mine?”
“He made the first cutting of hay this morning. He and Mouse are finishing up with the stacking right now.”
Aaron wiped his forehead in mock relief. “Glad I went in on a Saturday. Nothing worse than stacking hay in the mow.” Diana just shook her head.
Alex sipped on the second shot of brandy, and it glided down to her stomach smoother and sweeter than ever. She smacked her lips, grinning. “I think I may have stumbled upon something here.”
“Yeah, the secret to eternal youth. Just look at this gorgeous young lady here.” Aaron leaned over and kissed his mother on the cheek. “Would you believe she’s actually sixty-five years old?”
“Aaron Michael Sheldon, bite your wicked tongue! And no more brandy.”
He dropped his hands to his mother’s shoulders, and rubbing her gently, bent again to peck the top of her head. With her chestnut mane pulled back in a cute ponytail, Alex noticed that she did look very much like a young girl. She was amazed at how much love the Sheldon family openly showed one another.
“You’re probably leaving grease prints on me,” Diana muttered sternly, trying to keep her lips from curling into a smile.
“Once again, I get the hint. But actually, I can hear the shower calling to me right now.” He gave his mother a final pat, and with a wink at Alex, he ambled for the stairs. “Come to me, Aaron, my darling, my love....you filthy, dirty little naughty boy…spankings for you…” He disappeared into the upstairs hallway.
“See what I have to deal with, day in and day out?” Diana questioned laughingly. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“No, unfortunately, I was an only child.”
“I wondered if Jamie would be an only child. We wanted another baby right away, but it took us so long to conceive Aaron. We were lucky.”
“My father left when I was six. My mother had a couple of boyfriends after that, but nothing too serious.”
“I’m sorry to hear that Alex. Just remember, whenever you want to experience what it’s like to have a brother, just pop your head in here.” Diana moved to the sink, and ran water for the dishes. “It can get a bit crazy.”
“Can I help you with that?”
“No, no. There’s not many. Jamie and Mouse are in the barn, could you let them know I’ll have supper ready in an hour? And you’re welcome to stay, too.”
“Oh. Thank you for the offer but I should get back... but I’ll go tell them. I suppose I owe Jamie an apology anyway. If he’ll speak to me, that is.”
Diana laughed. “Well, you certainly made an impression on Mouse. He wouldn’t shut up about you the other night.”
“So Mouse is actually a friendly sort of guy?”
“Yes, he’s the best. He’s a great help around the farm too. If you ever need someone to
do some odd physical job or another, Mouse is as trustworthy as they come. Don’t let his appearance fool you.”
Alex rose. “Thanks for the tip.” The brandy simmered in her belly as she made her way to the back door. The picture of Mouse chattering away about Oww-lex made her want to giggle.
For Christ’s sake, she had nearly maced the poor guy. What a fiasco that would have been. She made a mental vow to chuck the mace vial when she got home. She wouldn’t be needing it anymore. And perhaps she could use Mouse for some handiwork. Running fence on her own was a job she didn’t look forward to.
The grass in the yard was tall and soft; whispering against her ankles, for the spring rains had been frequent and nourishing. Pockets of dandelions nodded brightly wherever she looked, and Alex realized that she actually preferred the grass long and free, as opposed to the carefully manicured lawns of the suburbs, with their perfectly criss-crossed mow paths and fastidiously installed landscape edging.
She approached the double barn doors with long, sure strides, the brandy smothering her apprehension effectively, and slipped inside. The rumble of the hay elevator was noisy, and the sweet scent of freshly mowed hay was thick and cloying. Through the dusty air, she spied Mouse up on a hay wagon, chucking bales down onto the conveyer belt with an easy and rhythmic motion. She followed the direction of the bales to the right side of the barn, where Jamie caught and stacked the rectangular blocks of hay into the mow.
He was naked to the waist but for a pair of gloves on his hands, his hips and thighs clad in faded blue jeans. Alex stood silently for a moment, watching the play of muscles across his back and shoulders as he bent to heft a bale, and then stacked it firmly in its place within the mow.
A shaft of light pierced the dim air from a crack in the wooden barn board, striking his chest with a filmy, golden glow as he turned to retrieve the next bale. The play of both shadows and light seemed to define the contours of his rippling upper body like it had once been etched from stone, but had now come vitally alive.
You’re delusional, she thought to herself with disgust, but her teeth caught her lower lip as she continued to watch anyway, the brandy filling her with a flushing warmth that began at the tips of her toes, then spreading slowly upward to splay across her cheekbones.
Who would have dreamed that he would be built so perfectly? The thought tugged the corners of her mouth down, for it bothered her that merely watching him toil had affected her so consciously. He was- what had he called it? - Her arch nemesis. It’s the damned brandy, she thought again for the tenth time.
The elevator shut off suddenly, plunging the barn into silence. The dust hung in the motionless air, suspended. Alex swiveled her gaze to Mouse, who was waving at her heartily. The wagon was empty.
“Hi Oww-lex!”
“Hi there, Mouse.”
“Jay-me. It’s Oww-lex.”
“I see that,” Jamie responded, hopping down from the rows of neatly stacked bales. He stopped several feet in front of her, his blue eyes regarding her curiously, but coldly. She almost lost her nerve and retreated.
Alex cleared her throat nervously. “Your mom wanted me to tell you that dinner will be ready in about an hour.”
Casually, Jamie reached to pull on a tee-shirt that he had previously discarded over the railing, and wiped his forehead with it. Alex could see that he was dusty and covered with a thin sheen of sweat, but her stomach fluttered in appreciation anyway.
Up close, his tautly ridged stomach was as impressive as she remembered from their previous outing, and the curious scent of fresh hay and male sweat was... well, very good.
“Okay Alex, well, thanks for passing on that information,” he added when it became obvious that she was waiting for a response.
“Pork chops?” Mouse inquired. When Alex shrugged, he added, “I hope it is pork chops, Jay-me.” Only he pronounced pork chops, poke-chupps.
“Is there something else you wanted, Ms. Winters?” Jamie prodded, his lips finally quirking up at the corners.
Alex took the half-smile as a good sign, and pointedly chose to ignore the sarcasm in his tone. “Well, I would like to talk to you for a minute, if you have the time.”
“Yeah, I have a minute. Mouse, why don’t you take the wagon back out to the field. We’ll bale the rest up tomorrow afternoon, if you can help. If not, I’ll have my lazy brother lend a hand.”
“Course, Jay-me. Ah’ll help you.” Mouse sauntered off to the tractor, calling over his shoulder, “Ah luv to drive thuh Deere.” He pulled his large frame up onto the tractor, actually making the huge piece of equipment appear small, revved it up, and then backed the wagon out of the barn with a joyful whirl of dust and diesel rumblings.
When the noise of the tractor had faded away, Jamie slanted his dubious gaze back to her face. “What’s up, Alex?” he asked in a coolly neutral voice.
She decided to plunge right in. “Look, I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I was... nasty. There I said it. I acknowledge it. Please forgive me?”
He looked at her in amazement, and then laughed sharply. “I must be dreaming. This couldn’t be Alexandra Aimee Winters apologizing to a local forester-slash-farmer. Why are you kissing up to my mother, anyway? She’s starting to think the world of you, and if you ever treat her-”
“I adore your mother!”
His eyes narrowed. “If you ever treat-”
Alex reached out and grabbed his arm to stop his words. “Jamie, I meant what I said.” The muscles bunched and flexed, tightening beneath the pressure of her fingers. He can’t stand my touching him, she thought briefly, and it caused a lump to form in the base of her throat.
She relaxed her fingers, dropping her hands to her sides. “I’m sorry,” she repeated determinedly. There. She’d done what she came to do. Without looking back at his eyes, she turned and left.
~~~~~~~
Without thought, Jamie’s hand snaked out and gripped Alexandra by her arm. He’d be damned if she were walking out now. They needed to finish this stupid, little pissing match.
He stared at her face, analyzing her expression. She looked scared, but resolute. Her cheeks were lightly flushed, and the long curls that framed her face were mussed and gaining a thin film of hay dust.
His gaze casually traveled down the length of her then, passing the swell of her breasts against the tee-shirt, and over lithe hips and thighs encased in a pair of snug cut-offs. Her legs were bare and long, the tan now faded to a pale golden color that he liked. Incredibly. Immensely.
The immediate surge of lust made him tear his eyes from her body and back to her face. Her eyes were wide and glittering hazel, and her soft mouth was slightly parted as if to say something.
“What?” she managed to murmur in confusion.
“You’re serious?” he muttered, still holding her firmly by the arm. “What?” His voice had risen slightly, and he thought he felt her tremble slightly beneath his grip.
Uncertainty flitted through her hazel gaze, and Alex attempted at a casual grin. “I just needed to apologize. For some strange reason, I actually kind of like you.”
At his raised eyebrows, she added quickly, “As a friend, of course.”
“Of course.” He released her arm slowly. “Well, then. Apology accepted. Not too bad for a city-girl, in fact.”
Her eyes darkened and she put her hands on her hips. “I’m no longer a city-girl, Mr. James Sheldon,” she returned. “I’m your neighbor, and hopefully soon, your friend.”
“Friend.” She was unbelievable.
“Yes.”
Jamie took a step toward her, closing the gap between them, and Alex reflexively moved back a step at the sudden encroachment. He made a low, wry sound. “You can’t even stand to get too near me. Afraid of a little hay dust? A little sweat? It’s in your hair already, you know.”
Alex held her chin up when he reached out and casually flicked a lock of tousled hair from her forehead. “I won’t be afraid of you, Jamie” and he detected
the stirrings of her all too familiar stubborn streak. “So why don’t you just drop it.”
With that announcement, Alex stepped forward boldly, right back into his space, and stuck her nose in the air as high as it would go. It only reached his chin, and he laughed, hoping to nettle her further.
It worked. He watched her face flush as her anger grew then simply erupted.
“Asshole!” With both hands, she shoved his bare chest, but he was ready, and didn’t move an inch. Instead, he seized both her wrists, holding her immobile. He was ready to play ball now.
Jamie leaned toward her, and his eyes were smoky chips of blue steel. “Before you claw at me again, I want one, small thing from you, neighbor. A token.” He curved his mouth curved into a lazy, baiting smile.
He watched her eyes as she became aware of the implication of his words. And that his lips were now only inches away, waiting. It was amusing to watch her buying time, breathing slowly in and out, her gaze flicking toward the barn doors beyond. No one was there. She licked her lips nervously.
The subtle, sensual motion spurred him into action. Damned if he’d wait another second. His mouth slanted down across her own. His lips were hard and hungry, fueled now by the soft pliancy of her luscious mouth, and her hot little tongue when it shot out and met his. She tasted of warm blackberries.
Jamie pulled back slightly, struggling to regain a measure of restraint, surprised at the intensity of his sudden erection. Rock hard in a mere second. Breath elevated, heart rate up… it was a heady sensation.
“You’ve been at the brandy bottle, Alex,” he muttered against her mouth, lightly teasing her lower lip with his tongue. “Shame on you.”
“Umm-hmm,” Alex murmured, and Jamie felt her curvy little body press against the hard length of him, as if she were unaware of what she was doing. What game she was playing.
Jamie reached around her and cupped her firm little ass with both hands. Perfection.
There was only one outcome to this little match. He was going to win. Consequences be damned.
Waiting For Eden (Eden Series) Page 11