I would never admit that to be true. “No they weren’t.”
He smirked. “All I can say is they were hot. Every one of them, but they weren’t much to talk to.”
I shrugged. “That doesn’t mean I couldn’t be with a girl like Lanie.”
“No, it doesn’t, but I just can’t see it.”
I was done with this conversation. Already irritated by what I walked in on, the realization that I apparently like mean women was too much. I threw my bottle in the bin and brushed by him, heading for the shower. I heard him snicker as I walked away, but didn’t turn back. A few months ago, I would’ve laughed it off, but since the shooting I didn’t seem able to find much happiness in anything. I couldn’t even appreciate the conversation I just had with Luke because my shitty mood wouldn’t allow it.
Stripping out of my clothes, I reached in and turned my shower to hot, reminding myself again that I need to update this bathroom, starting with a bigger shower. There is room for it and I’m a big guy so there’s really nothing stopping me from doing it besides lack of time. Resting my palms on the white tiled wall in front of me I leaned my head into the spray, letting the hot water stream over my body, the heat of the water immediately relaxing my muscles. I also made a mental note to find a masseuse. Lanie’s small amount of time on my neck relieved the piercing headache for almost two days so I knew if I actually went to someone and had all the knots worked out, I’d feel a hundred times better.
Lanie.
Why the fuck did the thought of her make my stomach flip like I’m some damn teenage kid again? She’s not my type. We have absolutely nothing in common. As a matter-of-fact I’d go as far as saying she’s the exact opposite of my type, which is basically what Luke was saying. So why was I so pissed that he seemed interested in her?
Images floated through my mind of that damn blush, always starting at the base of her neck and working its way up until her cheeks would burn scarlet. I remembered how soft her hands felt rubbing along my neck, digging her strong fingers into the tense muscles there while my hands rested on her thighs, bringing me relief from my own damn thoughts. With my eyes closed, I could envision her wearing an oversized t-shirt, her glasses perched on her nose and her silky blond hair piled on top of her head.
Not at all my type.
I groaned when I felt my dick coming to life.
I knew I’d lost my mind when I ran my hand down over my flat stomach, wrapped my hand around it, sucking in a deep breath when I added pressure, Lanie being the only one I was thinking about.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
LANIE
Standing on the front porch of Jake’s house, I raised my hand to knock on his door and hesitated.
It had been one week. One week of the cold shoulder from Jake. He was supposed to find a sitter for the week for Bray and after our conversation Monday when he came home, I assumed I wouldn’t hear from him again. So, imagine my surprise when my doorbell rang Tuesday morning. He apologized for being short the night before, explaining he was tired from work and meetings and asked if I’d watch Bray all week. He even offered to pay me, which I turned down. The truth was, I’d had fun. He’s a great kid and talking to Luke was so interesting. He talked a lot about his family and their lives, explaining who was married and who had kids, and even said he would take me to Sunday dinner and then I could see for myself. I laughed and nodded knowing that would never happen.
I could never go to Jake’s family’s house for dinner.
I could only imagine what pointless drivel would come out of my mouth in a room with the men I’d met in my front yard. Or even worse, I’d freeze up and look exactly what I was, socially awkward. I was aware they already knew that but there was no reason to give them another live performance.
Luke and I had gotten into somewhat of a routine. I’d arrive early in the morning and we’d have breakfast together, then usually after Bray was up, one of his brothers would arrive and take him to his physical therapy. I also got into the habit of taking Bray to my house in the afternoon under the guise of playing with Beasley, which we did, but we also stayed through Bray’s nap or the time he should nap. I realized on Tuesday that Luke looked pretty worn out after therapy and it seemed as long as I was there, he wasn’t going to rest so I’d pack us up and go over to my house. I’d work while Bray laid on the couch with cartoons, which was the compromise when he refused a nap, so it actually was beneficial all the way around.
And every day without fail, Jake ignored me.
Oh, he’d ask about the day, how Bray was and all the important questions, but otherwise he ignored me. I’d thought after the night on the stairs of my house that we had at least become something similar to friends or at least friendly, but I was wrong. I’m not sure why I’ve been so surprised by his actions. It wasn’t the first time, I’d been forgotten about or disregarded, but for some reason from him, it seemed more significant.
I knew from talking with Luke that his parents were due to come home tomorrow, Sunday, so that has left me standing on the porch on Saturday afternoon to return the extra key Jake had made for me to come and go during the day after I’d explained the afternoons. When I’d left last night, I’d forgotten, which I’d kicked myself for this morning when I found it in the pocket of my jeans.
I raised my hand again and knocked, never even considering using the key squeezed in the palm of my other hand.
The door swung open and I held my breath hoping to see Luke, but was quickly disappointed.
Jake frowned. “Lanie.”
My breath caught. Why did he have to be so attractive wearing jeans that sit way too low on his hips and a gray t-shirt? And why can’t I stop noticing him when he literally just frowned upon opening his door and seeing me?
“Wanie!” I heard only seconds before I felt Braydon’s little body slam into my legs. He tilted his head back, his brown shaggy hair flopped over his forehead and smiled. “Hi.”
I smiled. “Hi Bray.”
He reached up and grabbed my hand, pulling me along with him past his dad and into the house. I heard the door shut behind me.
Bray tilted his head, his hand still tucked tightly in mine. “Wunch?”
“You want lunch?” I chuckled.
I felt Jake come to stand beside me. “Bray, I’ll make you lunch.”
Bray pursed his lips and shook his head, his features serious. “No daddy. Wanie.”
I was surprised he was so vehement about me making his lunch. I took a chance and glanced towards Jake only to find him staring at me wearing the same look of irritation he’d had when he pulled the door open. Having no idea what to say, I offered. “I don’t mind if you want me to.”
Jake looked between me and his son, confusion apparent on his face. “You don’t have to do that. I was just going to order pizza or something.”
“Yay, pizza.” Bray clapped.
I held out my hand with the key lying in my palm. “Here’s your key. I’m sorry I forgot to give it back to you last night.”
His eyes left mine, glancing down at the key, before returning his attention to me, his eyebrows drawn together at the center. “That’s your key. I had it made for you.”
I nodded. “I know, but I figured with your parents coming home tomorrow you wouldn’t need me anymore so I wouldn’t need to have a key to your house.”
A look of understanding crossed his face. “Why don’t you just keep it anyway? It’ll be good to know you have a key in case something comes up or somebody in my family needs to get into my house and I’m not around.”
I nodded, pulling my hand back and shoving the key in the front pocket of my jeans, but wondering why he didn’t have keys made up for his family. Although, I guess that would be a lot of keys.
“Daddy pizza.” I looked down to see Braydon tugging on the bottom hem of Jake’s t-shirt.
I motioned towards the door. “I’m gonna get going.”
Braydon grabbed my hand. “Wanie tay.”
Jake looked
thoughtful. “Why don’t you stay, have pizza with us? You won’t let me pay you for watching Bray. The least I can do is buy you pizza.”
I felt Bray tug on my hand and pulled my eyes from Jakes to look down at him. How could I say no to that face? “Okay.”
“Yay!” Braydon yelled. He tugged on my hand, pulling me into the living room. I gladly followed, and sat on the floor to be shown a brand new truck. I heard Jake on the phone ordering a pizza, but I stayed focused on Braydon, silently wondering where Luke was. I could talk to Luke and Jack for that matter, but Jake was too overwhelming, especially one-on-one.
“Pizza should be here soon.” Jake announced as he entered the living room and sat on the floor directly in front of the couch and directly across from me.
I nodded, at a complete loss for words and Bray was noisily pushing around his new truck, using Jake’s legs as hills for it to climb over.
“Lanie.” I lifted my eyes slowly from the truck until they focused on Jake. “Can I ask you a favor?”
I stiffened for a moment until I remembered the only favor he’d ever asked of me was to babysit Braydon, so I relaxed. Watching Bray was easy. “Sure.”
His eyes met mine. “I haven’t had time to find anyone to work on my neck like you did on your steps and my head is killing me. Would you mind?” He ran his hand along the base of his skull. “I have a few knots I just can’t get rid of.”
My eyes ran over his face wondering how I could say no, scared of making a fool out of myself again being that close to him, but I deflated when I saw how tired and pale he really looked. I couldn’t say no, no matter how much I wanted to.
I nodded and stood, moving towards the couch and sitting on it right beside where he was sitting on the floor. I moved my legs apart when he moved to sit between them, putting me at the exact spot I’d need to rub his neck and shoulders. I quietly cursed myself for wearing shorts when his arm brushed up against my bare calf, but it was one of those rare hot days we still get in the fall and I hadn’t thought I’d be staying when I came over here.
I lifted my hands and gently laid them on his shoulders, but his hands came up to grab both of mine and move them up higher on his broad neck. His arms and neck are tan, I guess from so much time spent outdoors building, and his hands were rough when they rubbed along mine putting them exactly where the pain was. I giggled when Bray ran his truck over Jake’s legs and across the living room floor, disappearing in the hallway, but the truck noises he was making were still loud and clear.
I dug my thumb into the knot I felt lying right under his skull and he dropped his head forward, groaning. I worked slowly, but methodically on each knot like I’d watched being done to Meghan and did to her for almost a year. She’d return the favor when my life was too stressful and my muscles were tight, so I knew how good the relief felt. I started working harder to hear his groans, wanting to bring him that pleasure, knowing I’m the one giving it to him. When I hit a particularly good spot, his groan was deep and his hand went from resting on his thigh to wrapped around my naked calf. I heard my own breath hitch when a zing of warmth spread up my leg. He ran his rough palm up and down my leg, knee to ankle and the harder I rubbed my thumb in circles over the knots in his neck, the closer he pulled my leg until my foot rested on top of his thigh.
Having no idea what he was doing I squealed when he grabbed my bare foot, thanks to me kicking off my flip flops by the door, and ran his thumb along the arch on the bottom, pushing into it as he went. My hands stopped of their own accord and my breath caught. No one had ever done that to me before, it felt amazing. I’d never had a foot massage or even a pedicure, but if this is what they feel like, I think I should. I started working the muscles in his neck again, while he continued on my foot, but I was distracted. The rough skin of his hand running over my foot and back up my calf caused my skin to tingle. It occurred to me that I was turned on, possibly more turned on than I’d ever been in my life. I closed my eyes, letting my fingers continue to work the strong muscles of his neck while he ran his hand methodically up and down my leg.
I opened my eyes when his hand left my leg. He put his palm flat to the floor, turning his head ever so slightly, and looking at me in a way I couldn’t decipher, causing a shiver to run over my skin. I wanted him to want me, in this one moment to forget that he and I were far too different for anything to happen between us. I wanted to feel wanted by a man that I knew could change my life with one word, one kiss.
I wanted too much.
CHAPTER TWELVE
JAKE
The doorbell’s chime cut through the haze of arousal and stopped me from doing something I wanted, but would most likely bite me in the ass later. I wanted to kiss her. Fuck, I wanted so much more than that. She pulled back quickly, her hands resting on either side of her legs and I cursed the pizza man for his bad timing. Or good timing I guess if I remembered my vow to stay away from women. All women.
Even this one.
I pushed to my feet and turned my head back towards her, but I’d lost her eyes; they were now solely focused on her lap. I ran my hand along my neck as I walked to the door, amazed at what her hands were capable of and I wished I could feel those hands work their magic all over me. I pulled the wallet from my back pocket, shooting one more look towards Lanie who turned quickly when our eyes met and I sighed.
I yanked open the front door, already opening my wallet, when I realized it was actually my worst fucking nightmare standing before me.
I clenched my jaw before barking out. “What the hell are you doing here Julie?”
I couldn’t believe the bitch was standing in my doorway. I took in her appearance and quickly assessed that she looked bad. No, that’s not the word. She looked like what she probably always had and I’d never noticed; disgusting. She still had on her standard tight clothes, consisting of skin tight jeans and a short sleeve white shirt that was arguably tighter, which is saying something since her jeans looked painted on, her cleavage on full display. Her boobs are fake, courtesy of the dumbass that had her before me. She took off to find something more once they’d been bought and paid for. She had her hair down, but she always does. It was what I’d noticed first about her. A deep red curtain that extends down her back almost to her waist filled with waves that only reminded me of sex. She has sex hair.
I stared into her dark brown eyes which seemed to be filled with remorse, but that I recognized as manipulation. I shuddered when she started to speak and said my name.
“Jake,” Her voice was small, fake and I almost laughed at her ridiculous attempt to lure me back into her web. “I need to see Braydon.”
I put my hands on my hips, my eyes narrowing. “No.”
Her lips tipped up in a soft smile and she reached her hand out resting it against my chest, moving in closer to stand right in front of me. She ran her hand down my chest in a move that would’ve worked on me a few months ago, but now only made my stomach turn.
Her voice dropped, taking on a sultry edge. “Jake, baby, come on. We can work this out. We always work it out.”
She leaned in closer, her strong floral perfume making my head hurt. Just as I lifted my hands from my hips to remove her hands from me, I heard Lanie’s voice and cringed.
“Hey Jake, I…” She stopped and I closed my eyes slowly having seen Julie’s face morph into the one I’d gotten used to seeing over the past year. “Oh sorry I thought it was the pizza man. I’ll just be in the kitchen.”
I felt Julie push past me and I reached out to grab her arm, but I was too late to stop her from putting her eyes on Lanie.
Julie’s piercing voice made me shudder. “Who the hell are you?” I closed the door before turning to face Lanie, my hand staying wrapped around Julie’s arm to keep her from getting any closer.
Lanie looked between Julie and I, her face filled with confusion. “I’m…”
I held up my hand to stop Lanie, not wanting Julie to have any information about her. “No. You don’t speak to her
.” I gestured to the hallway, my eyes focused solely on Lanie. “Will you go sit with Bray in his room?” I asked her, but she clearly understood it wasn’t a question when she nodded and moved quickly towards the bedrooms at the back of the house.
Julie turned on me like I hoped she would. “What the fuck does that mean? Who is she, Jake?”
“She’s no one Julie. Don’t worry about her.”
She flung her arm out to the side. “Then what the hell is she doing standing in your living room?”
I let go of her arm and crossed my arms over my chest, happy her focus was once again back on me. “It’s none of your business.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Everything in my kid’s life is my business.”
I recognized she was gearing up for a fight and her target would be Lanie if I didn’t banish any idea she has that Lanie and I are anything more than friends. Actually nix that because she wouldn’t like us being friends either.
“She babysits Bray for me Julie, that’s all.” I said.
Her eyes flashed. “Your mom babysits Bray.”
“They were on vacation. I needed a sitter. End of story.”
“Then why is she here today?” She demanded.
I was done. “What the fuck do you want?”
She straightened. “I already told you I want to see Braydon.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “And I already told you no.”
“You can’t stop me from seeing my son, Jake.”
“What kind of game are you playing right now Julie? You never wanted Bray before, only using him as a way to hang on to me, so what’s your angle? Money? Me? What the fuck could you possibly want that you think I’m stupid enough to give you?”
I watched her actually change her expression into one of guilt and misery right before my eyes. How did I miss how great of an actress she’s been in all our time together?
She leaned into me, running her finger up my arm until she could wrap her hand around my neck. She went up on her tiptoes to get closer to my face. “I screwed up baby. I want our little family back.” She pushed in closer until her breasts pushed into my chest. “I miss you.”
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