“Something with Lanie?” He guessed.
I ran my hand around the back of my neck, my eyes on the counter in front of me. “Yeah.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Not really,” I answered honestly. “but I think I need to.”
I lifted my gaze to Luke’s and saw only concern lining his features. I took a deep breath before starting, but where the hell did I even start?
“Do you remember a few weeks ago when Julie stopped here?”
He nodded, answering slowly. “I remember.”
I sighed before continuing. “I’d sent Lanie into Bray’s bedroom with him so he wouldn’t come out and I talked to Julie.” I dropped my head, shaking it. “Lanie told me today that she overheard something I said to Julie about her.”
Luke’s jaw hardened. “What did you say?”
I lifted my gaze back to my brother’s. “I didn’t remember exactly, but Lanie sure as hell does.”
His eyes narrowed. “What did you say, Jake?”
“I told Julie she knows me well so why would she think I’d want someone like Lanie.”
Luke closed his eyes and breathed deeply.
“I was trying to protect her.” I defended myself.
His eyes widened. “How?”
I leaned forward. “You know Julie, man, and she loves this shit. She would’ve been all over Lanie if she thought for a second that I was interested in her so I tried to convince Julie I never would be.”
Luke looked thoughtful. “I get that. I do. But don’t you think you should have explained that to Lanie then?”
I ran my hand through my hair. “Yeah, and I would have if I thought she’d heard, but she didn’t say anything.” I dropped my hand and sighed. “Now that I’m thinking about it, she did say some weird shit when she was leaving, but I thought she was rattled because Julie had shown up.”
Luke dropped his elbows to his knees and looked to the floor for a minute before raising his gaze once again to mine. “What are you doing with her?”
I shook my head. “What do you mean?”
He looked at me seriously. “I mean, are you interested in her?”
I decided honesty was the best way to go. “I have no fucking clue, man.” I stood up and moved behind the island. “I like being around her, I know that and I know it pisses me off that she’s dating some douche right now.”
Luke grinned. “That’s what I thought.”
“What?”
“Brother, it’s obvious to the rest of us that Lanie’s different for you. We just didn’t know if you realized that or not, but after dinner, it became a lot more obvious.”
“Why?” I didn’t understand what he meant. Had I acted in a way that they saw something? “What did I do?”
Luke burst out laughing. “Are you kidding right now?”
I tried to think back, but wasn’t getting much. “No.”
“Jake, man, you didn’t stop touching her the entire time we were sitting at the table. You also teased her to get a reaction and didn’t stop when she was so obviously annoyed with you.”
That was true, I couldn’t argue with him.
I smirked. “She’s fun to play with.”
Luke’s laughter died, but the grin stayed. “She’s good for you.”
“She drives me crazy.” I said honestly.
“From what I understand that’s how you know she’s the one for you.”
I leaned my palms flat against the counter and dropped my head. “My kid fucking loves her.”
Luke snorted. “Yeah, man we all saw that.”
I lifted my head. “I’m not sure I deserve someone like her. I’m not even sure I’d know how to treat someone like her.”
“You do, on both counts.”
“How do you know that? Look at the women I’ve chosen to be with before her.”
He waved off my comment. “They were only for fun. And I know you’ll treat her well because you grew up in the same house as the rest of us and watched what a good man does and how he treats someone he loves.”
He was right. I’d never known a better man than our father and he always treated our mother like she was his reason for breathing.
He still does.
“I think she might hate me.” I admitted.
He chuckled. “Lanie doesn’t hate you, I’d guess just the opposite, but brother you have your work cut out for you if you want her to believe that. Just do yourself and her a favor by knowing what you want before you go after her. Its written all over her that she doesn’t trust easily and I’m guessing there’s a good reason why so know what you want and be prepared to work for it.”
I nodded. “How’d you get so smart about this? I don’t remember you ever being in a serious relationship.”
He smirked. “I’m a detective. I pay attention.”
I grinned watching him stand from his seat at the island, and make his way towards the back of the house.
“One more thing, brother,” he said from the doorway leading to the hall.
“Yeah?”
He smiled. “It’s nice to have you back. We’ve missed you Jake, the real you. It’s nice to see Lanie bringing you back.”
“You really think she’s the reason?” I asked seriously.
He nodded. “I know she is.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
LANIE
“Do you want to come in?” I asked Trey, hope evident in my voice.
He lifted his hand tucking back a strand of hair that blew across my face thanks to the cool breeze blowing. We were standing on my porch when he’d leaned in to kiss me goodnight and I’d whispered those words against his lips. I ignored the voice in my mind telling me I was only asking him in to ward off the loneliness I’d felt creeping up on me.
He grinned. “Yeah.”
I nodded, silently breathing a sigh of relief. I didn’t think I could take on more rejection. My mind had been replaying Jake’s words over the last week, not only reminding me he would never be interested in me, but also that he hadn’t meant it and was trying to protect me.
I was giving him too much space in my mind and I knew that wasn’t good for me. I’d been doing really well, even Paige mentioned it, and I didn’t want to go backwards. Lately, I’d been feeling my insecurities creeping up on me after Jake and I talked and I couldn’t let that happen.
I unlocked the door, feeling Trey’s heat at my back and pushed it open. I wasn’t surprised when Beasley didn’t come immediately to greet me, that was not unusual, so I made my way into the kitchen and put my purse on the counter. I turned to find Trey had moved to stand behind me, pinning me against the island counter, between two of my three black stools. I lifted my face to look into his eyes and smiled. He was sweet and I knew he’d wait for me to give him the go ahead. He wasn’t pushy like Jake had been, throwing me against the door and taking control, not giving me time to think.
I hadn’t enjoyed that at all.
I almost laughed out loud at my obvious lie to myself. I’d loved that, but that was not Trey and I wanted to focus on him. Trey wasn’t as tall as Jake, he was only a few inches taller than me so I only had to stretch a little to place my lips against his. He kissed me slowly, taking his time and I knew from past encounters that he would continue that way until I pushed for more, which I hadn’t done up to this point. Tonight I wanted more so I pressed my lips tighter against his, opening my mouth to invite him in when my kitchen light flicked on.
I pulled back at the same time as Trey, both of our heads jerking towards the doorway to the kitchen and I gasped, my eyes widening. Jake was standing in my kitchen, leaning his hip against the door jam, hands in his pockets.
What the hell?
“Jake.” I put my hands flat against Trey’s chest, pushing him to the side, and moved forward, anger apparent in my voice. “What the hell are you doing in my house?”
He shrugged, casually like we always let ourselves into each other’s homes. “Waiting for you to come home.
”
“Why?” I asked and then something occurred to me. “How the hell did you get in here?”
He pulled his hands from his pockets, his eyes never leaving mine and straightened. “We need to talk.”
I threw my hand out to gesture towards Trey. “I’m busy.”
His eyes moved from mine to land on Trey. “I’m going to overlook the fact that you had your hands all over my girl, man, if you walk out of here right now and I never see your face again.”
“Jake!” I yelled. “What is wrong with you?”
I turned to stand in front of Trey watching his eyes move from Jake to stare at me. He looked angry and I immediately starting talking once I knew his attention was on me. “Trey, there’s nothing between Jake and I. I have no idea why he’s even here—” I glanced back at Jake, glaring, before turning my attention back to Trey, “—and I promise you, nothing’s going on.”
He nodded, but I knew from his expression that he didn’t believe me. “So you keep saying.”
I laid my palms flat against his chest when he started moving away. “Trey…”
He reached up and pulled my hands from his chest, brushing by me, heading towards the doorway. I hurried behind him, stopping to glare at Jake when he moved out of the way to let Trey through before continuing to follow him to the front door.
I put my hand on his bicep when he pulled the door open. “Trey.”
He turned and I pounced, happy he was giving me the opportunity to explain. “I’m sorry about Jake. I swear I have no idea why he’s here.”
He glanced over my shoulder, I was assuming to look at Jake before his eyes flicked back to mine. “I’m not doing this with you Lanie. You’re definitely not worth the shit I’ve been putting up with.”
“What the fuck did you say?” Jake’s voice was laced with anger and I should’ve appreciated his anger in my defense, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the sight of Trey’s back while he walked away.
Another person just walking away. Another person I would never be enough for.
Story of my life.
I felt Jake’s heat at my back and moved to the side, pressing my back against the open door, pointing outside, speaking quietly. “You need to leave.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not leaving.”
I gritted my teeth. “I don’t want you here.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
I’d had enough. My face was hot from anger when I stepped towards him and rose to my tip toes. His eyes flashed, but I assumed he was as angry as I was. What I didn’t know was why.
“Get out of my house Jake!” I yelled in his face.
He dropped his arms and put his palms on my biceps, moving me to the side just enough that he could slam my front door closed using his foot before pushing me up against it and getting in my face. “No, Lanie. I’m not leaving.” His hot breath fanned across my lips. “You can scream and throw a fit, but I’m not leaving because I know that’s not what you really want.”
I felt my anger reach a new level. “I am not throwing a fit Jake. I want you to leave right now.” I put my hands against his chest and shoved, but he didn’t move, not even a step back. I let out a sound of frustration before skirting around him and into my kitchen. I grabbed my purse from the counter top, along with my car keys, throwing them in my purse, before stomping back around the counter towards the doorway. If he wasn’t going to leave, then I was. I rounded the corner out of the kitchen, walking right by him, my shoulder bumping into his arm.
His palm wrapped gently around my bicep pulling me to a stop. “Where are you going?”
“None of your business.” I snapped, not even turning to face him.
He spun me around to face him, his blue eyes flashing. “You are my business.”
“I don’t want to be your business Jake!” I yelled, throwing my hands in the air. “I just want you to leave me alone.”
“That’s not what you want.” His voice was eerily quiet.
“You have no idea what I want.” I pulled my arms to break free from his grasp, only to give up in frustration.
He moved closer, his face lowering towards mine. “Then tell me what you want.”
I cleared my throat, my body responding to his nearness obviously not understanding that I was mad at him. “I don’t want you here.”
His lips tipped up. “You’re lying.”
I was, but he shouldn’t know that.
He leaned in closer, his body brushing against mine, sending a shiver down my spine. He pulled the purse from my hands and dropped it to the floor. “Here’s what’s going to happen.” He started before leaning in closer running his nose along the side of my neck. “We’re going to sit down.” His nose made its way back up my neck, until his lips hovered beside my ear. “And talk.”
My head snapped back. Talk? That wasn’t what I expected him to say, but honestly I had no idea what I expected him to say. I still didn’t even know why he was here.
“I don’t want to talk Jake.”
“Why not?” He stepped back, letting go of my arms, and seemed genuinely confused.
I threw my arms up in the air. “Why not!” I said loudly. “Are you serious?”
He didn’t respond, only continued to stare at me and for some reason that pissed me off. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, not sure I’d ever felt this much anger.
When I felt calmer, I lifted my eyes to his. “Jake,” I said in a low tone. “In the past few months that I’ve known you, you’ve ignored me, used me, made me a cheater, said awful things about me, and now tonight you caused a guy I actually liked to walk out on me because he’d finally had enough.” I backed away from him, but leaned forward to show him I was still angry. “And you know what, I don’t blame him.” I pointed my finger at Jake and narrowed my eyes. “I blame you.”
“How did I use you?” Out of all the things I thought he might question about my comments, that wasn’t the one.
I huffed. “Oh please, come on Jake. If you didn’t need a babysitter for Bray, would you really have ever talked to me?”
“What?” His voice low and a little scary if I was being honest. “You think I used you?”
It was my turn to stare at him quietly because I’d already said enough.
His jaw ticked. “I did not use you.”
I shook my head and put my hands on my hips, and looked down to stare at my feet.
He stepped forward, coming to stand in front of me, his hands lifting to lay against the side of my neck, forcing my head up, his eyes landing on mine.
“I would never use you Lanie.” His eyes full of sincerity stared into mine. “But you’re right, I probably never would’ve come over to your house if it weren’t for Ben and my dad.”
I nodded because I’d known that, but it still hurt to hear it out loud.
He squeezed my neck, his thumbs rubbing along my jawbone. “I was in a bad place when Bray and I moved here because of the shooting.”
“I know that…”
He shook his head and leaned forward interrupting me. “I didn’t want anyone in my life, it had nothing to do with you personally.” He blinked his eyes slowly and I felt bad that I was the one putting that pain back in his expression.
“Jake…”
He squeezed my neck again and leaned in running his lips along mine before pulling back some. “But I owe them all a huge fucking thank you because if they hadn’t pushed me, if they hadn’t interfered, I wouldn’t have had the chance to know you.” He leaned in again, his lips brushing against mine with every word. “I felt like part of me died when Luke was shot, the guilt overwhelmed me, but then I met you and I started to feel alive again. I started to want things again, to smile again, enjoy my family again.” His lips brushed mine again, stronger this time, his tongue flicking out to run along my bottom lip. “You make feel something other than disgust for myself.”
I ran my hands up his chest until they wrapped aroun
d his neck. “Jake,” I said softly, “you are not to blame for that shooting.”
He smiled softly. “Because of you, I’m starting to believe that.”
Suddenly he pulled back and reached down, his hand wrapping around my much smaller one. It was only when he began walking towards my bedroom, his hand holding mine, that I came out of the Jake fog I’d just been in. How does he do that to me?
“Jake, what are you doing?”
He continued pulling me along until we crossed the threshold into my bedroom and he stopped to look around. I heard him chuckle before he turned to face me.
I scanned my room quickly, looking to see what could possibly be funny, but not seeing anything, I turned back to Jake. “What’s funny?”
He smirked and threw his arm out gesturing towards my room. “You’re such a girl.”
I scanned my room, seeing it from his eyes and smiled too. My room was my sanctuary, the room where I wanted to feel pampered and cozy, the one room in my house where I loved all things girly. My walls were covered in a light lavender paint, my bedding was white, with super thick filling and was in a word, heavenly. I had tons of soft throw pillows all over my bed and on a chair I had sitting in the corner by the window and shag area rugs covering the hardwood on my floors. I even had white sheer curtains covering my windows.
I lost concentration on my room when he started pulling me again, moving quickly until we were standing beside my bed. “What are we doing?”
He smiled and sat down on the edge of my bed, pulling his boots off and lying down. He grabbed my hand and pulled me down beside him before I realized his intention, my mind still lost in the image of him on my bed. I tried to sit back up but he rolled into me and wrapped his arm around my waist.
“We’re going to talk.”
My eyes snapped to his, now filled with warmth. “Here?”
His hand squeezed my hip and he pulled me until we were both lying on our sides facing each other. “Here.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
JAKE
“You’re going to have to be patient with me through this because I’ve never really talked to a woman.” I admitted, feeling like an ass even saying that, but she was going to figure it out soon enough.
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